


Cheating Chocobros

by DementiaDreams



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Anal, Anal Fingering, Angst, Barebacking, Breathplay, Come Eating, Domestic Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Racism, Recreational Drug Use, Rimming, Sex, Smut, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-15 07:02:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 90,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13025757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DementiaDreams/pseuds/DementiaDreams
Summary: These dudes just can't be faithful





	1. things fall apart

**18 MONTHS AGO (Japan)**

Luna used to wish Prompto hadn’t introduced Nyx to her at the protest. But, if she hadn’t met him, she would have been with her parents on the fateful day they died. She wouldn’t be in charge of the multinational nonprofit her parents started that helped the working class get a leg up through micro loans for business endeavors and grants to erase old debts. She wouldn’t dream all night of how to make this world a better place and dream all day of penises. Exquisite penises.

Luna was at her alma mater’s conference building, corralling overeager millennials into marching form to protest the war on poverty. She was distracted by two men walking in: her childhood friend Prompto and a stranger, a tall man with broad shoulders, expressive eyes and badass hair. She assumed Prom’s friend was there to pick up women, but Luna requested a picture with them anyway to put up on social media and attract more do-gooders. Prom manhandled a few soapboxes so Luna and her team could stand on it during the speech; the brunette carried three cases of water to hand out, his muscles bulging.

At the finish line of the protest her fiance Noctis stood waiting at the edge of the crowd. He had a faint smile on his face and raised his hand briefly in acknowledgement. They were to be married in three months. Luna couldn’t help smiling; no matter how lazy he was, he always made an attempt to show up for her. Luna made her speech and was ambushed by fellow students, including the brunette. She asked him his name; it was Nyx. They looked for their people; unsurprisingly they found Noctis and Prompto together. They all went out to celebrate with her two best girlfriends and everyone got hammered except Nyx and Luna. The guys helped carry Noctis and one of the girls home. Luna declined spending the night with her drunk boyfriend and went home to dream about Nyx.

The next day Luna stayed in bed and cancelled all her plans, confused about her fever dreams. Late that afternoon her mother called and asked if she was up to taking a helicopter tour with a potential donor. Luna graciously declined, and her mother graciously accepted the refusal. Three hours later she received the phone call from her parent’s second in command. Her parents were dead in a horrific crash, along with the donor.

She dropped the phone and wandered away from her apartment. She walked for hours in the streets until she realized her steps had led her near her boyfriend’s place. She walked to Noctis’s apartment and let herself in. She stumbled over his trash and clothes and stopped at the open doorway of his room. There Noctis slept, covered in blankets, spooning another blond, _not her,_ but...She couldn’t bear to say his name. She thought, she should have known better. She turned and left.

 

When she got home, Nyx was there waiting outside her apartment building. He frowned at her.

“Yes?” she said. She wanted nothing more than to erase this day.

“I heard about your parents. It was on the news.” He added quickly, “The only reason I knew where you lived was because I picked up Prompto here once.” He finished lamely, “I’m not a stalker.”

She wanted to cry, thinking that this stranger had been more supportive than her own boyfriend and best friend, the men she had known since childhood.

“I’m…” he hesitated. “I’m here for you.”

“Come on up,” she said. When she entered the apartment, her grief tore her apart. She cried and cried. She waited for Nyx to take advantage of her grief, but he never did. She fell asleep on her couch, her head in his lap.

 

Luna was startled awake by a crash. Noctis and Nyx were struggling together, Prompto standing at the door.

“What?” she asked, confused, until the previous events flooded her brain.

“I…didn’t know,” Noctis panted. “Iggy kept calling me and then I ran straight over.” Her boyfriend punched Nyx one last time on the arm. Glowering Nyx, looking at Luna, took a deep breath and struggled to gain composure. He left, slamming the door behind him.

“Oh,” she said. She had a migraine.

“You didn’t answer your phone,” Noctis said. He sat down and put his arm around her. “I can’t believe your parents…” he looked like he was about to cry. Luna’s parents had been closer than godparents to him. Prompto went to the kitchen to make her a cup of tea. She waited for Noctis to accuse her of cheating, but in true form he did not elaborate.

“Now you know how everyone else feels when they try to get ahold of you,” she finally replied. She looked for her phone; it was on the floor under the coffee table, the ringer off like she normally kept it. She had twenty-six voicemails, thirty-five missed calls, fifty texts, countless social media notifications.

“We can hide out here from the world,” Prompto said gently, handing her the cup and sitting on the armchair nearby.

“I don’t know if we should get married,” she said, dully to Prom and he glanced at Noctis.

“We can delay it,” Noctis said.

Her head creaked slowly towards her fiancé. “Are we meant to be together?”

Noctis looked shocked. “Luna, who else am I supposed to be with?”

That wasn’t the romantic gesture she needed.

“What was he doing here?” he asked. “I’m sorry about your parents, but I don’t know why he was here.”

“I needed you and you weren’t there. He was. Calm down, nothing happened.”

Noctis blinked at her.

“You guys get out of here. I…have things to plan.” She frowned, looking at her phone. “Like my parents’ funeral.”

The men shuffled out and she cried again.

***

Luna saw Nyx and Prom at the funeral, in the back. Regis and Noct had been in the front row and Regis left with Ignis and Gladio after expressing his condolences. After the pomp and ceremony Luna and Noctis were headed to the limo.

“Where’s Prom?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Why should I know?”

She whispered to her advisor and Prompto mysteriously appeared and went home with them to Luna’s place. She dismissed her advisor and then asked Noct to grab some snacks for them at a nearby bodega. He didn’t protest and left to do so. When she heard the door close Luna kissed Prompto, looking for a taste of Noctis. He looked at her, surprised and then responded by putting his arms around her.

“You’re so pretty,” he said. “All the guys were jealous that Noct had you.” He seemed to remember where he was, and who she was, and backed away. “So sorry,” he said. “I know…you’re just sad.”

“No, it was my fault,” she said and wiped some tears away.

When Noctis came back with the snacks Luna was dry eyed. She felt strange, and horny, thinking of Nyx, Noct and Prom. She thought of how perfect her life used to be, and how she would trade it all in for her parents to be alive.

“I need something from you,” she whispered to her fiancé. She kissed him and he was surprised, but obliging. She led him to her bedroom, hand in hand. “Call Prom in here,” she said.

He raised his eyebrows again and called Prom’s name. In that moment she saw what everyone else had probably known since day one. Noctis loved Prom and it was more than a bromance.

“Guys?” Prom stood at the doorway. “I should get out of here…”

“Sit,” she commanded, and he listened without even glancing at Noctis. She kissed her boyfriend and in minutes she could feel his boner straining against his suit. She cast off her gray dress and stood in black lacey underwear before Noctis. She shook her ass towards Prompto and dived back in with Noctis.

“How do you want it?” he gasped.

She responded by bending over the bed. Noctis tore her panties off and fucked her from the back, doggy style, the head of his dick directly on her g-spot. She craved a release and Noctis gave it to her while Prom watched, slack jawed. It wasn’t romantic, but it was necessary. She cried out as she came and he came right after, pulling out. She was on birth control, but he knew she didn’t like the clean up after.

She crawled across the king sized bed to Prom who glanced at Noctis, only a bit nervous. She fumbled with his pants button and he helped her, pulling them down only a bit before she hiked a leg over him and sat. She was so wet that she sat on his dick easily and rode him, her clit pressing down on his lower stomach, and she rolled through another orgasm. He felt like Noct, but just a bit thicker and longer.  She hadn’t known that she wanted her best friend, too. She loved Noctis, and would take him anyway she could.

***

They passed the months this way; Luna pretending that her place wasn’t being usurped by another blond. She didn't reply to Nyx's weekly social media messages. Ignis caught her during a weak moment and she sobbed out to him that she wanted a husband who would love her more than anyone else on earth.

***

At the Caelum compound Ignis looked for Prompto.

“Hey, Iggy.” Prom looked back at his phone, expecting to wait for Noctis.

“Noctis has an appointment with his father. It might last longer than anticipated.”

“Sure.”

“I’ll take you home, Prompto.”

“But—”

“It is time for us to leave. Come on.”

Ignis led him to his car and they drove away. He turned down his classical music and cleared his throat to make his speech.

“I like you, Prompto. We’ve all grown up together and you’ve been a wonderful friend to Noctis.”

After a moment Prom said, “But why do I hear a _but_ coming?” he snickered. “Butt coming. That has to be from a movie or something. I’m not that clever.”

Ignis rolled his eyes and tried to be tactful. “Are you certain that Noctis needs you around so much? College has been over for some years.”

“What do you mean?” he really was dense and Ignis huffed.

“You’re a third wheel, Prompto. Everyone seems to know it but you and Noct.”

He deflated, hunched over his phone. “But Luna loves me!”

“She loves Noct, Prompto. And her parents just died. They need time together, alone. They’re getting married soon.”

Prompto nodded. “Okay. That makes sense.” But his mouth was pinched and drawn.

***

Ignis touched his forehead. He felt horrible for telling Prompto such words, but Noct’s father Regis was beginning to get irritated with the blond hanging about before the wedding. There were a lot of things riding on this match, including the legitimization of the Caelum business to the world.

Ignis drove back to the compound and checked in with Regis. He was then released for the night. He called and texted Noctis, no response. He went through the back door of the house and stopped when he saw Gladio handling a microwave meal.

“What is that?” Ignis accused and Gladio grinned.

“I need to get something in me before that long drive home.”

Ignis tipped his head towards the door. “I can make you dinner.”

“No big plans tonight?”

“Aranea is on her way to Melbourne.”

“Hm,” Gladio said and they didn’t speak while a servant bustled through.

Ignis left without another word. He drove to his condo nearby, constantly checking his rear-view mirrors. He turned off his phone so he wouldn’t be tempted to check it incessantly. He went to his floor and started dinner for two. After a half hour Gladio let himself in. He glared at Ignis.

“You conceited asshole,” he complained but set the table. They ate, silently, and washed the dishes together. Gladio went out to the balcony and had a cigarette.

“You know I hate it when you smoke,” Ignis said after stepping out.

“Why do you think I started?”

“Are you going to fuck me now?”

“Nope. You don’t deserve it.”

“Why not?”

“Because you chose Aranea over me.”

“I need to make it work with her, Gladiolus.”

“Why?”

“We’ve known each other our whole lives. You know what she means to me. I love her, and this is my one chance. It’s not like you know how to commit to anyone.”

“Then why did you just ask to fuck?”

“I don’t… feel very well,” Ignis whispered. He thought about Prompto, how devastated he had looked.

Gladio held him and he leaned his head against the broad chest. They kissed, Ignis tightening his hold. On cue, the condo next door played loud rock music and Ignis groaned.

“That’s going to keep me up all night.”

“ _I’m_ going to keep you up all night.”

Gladio and Ignis sat on the outdoor chaise, under the twinkling sky. The angle of the balcony assured their privacy. They kissed passionately, Gladio trailing kisses around his neck, tickling the back of his neck. All too soon or not soon enough, Gladio freed Ignis’s hard dick and sucked deeply. Ignis moaned and the sound was drowned out by a guitar solo.

In the sudden silence the song changed to a bass-heavy metal combo. Ignis opened his eyes and saw his girlfriend approaching with rage in her eyes and her heels in hand. She heaved the balcony door open as he pushed Gladio off him and tucked himself back in. She pushed Gladio down and strode over him with her long legs and punched Ignis in the face with a closed fist while he was still in the supine position. She looked at her hand, horrified, while Gladio wiped his mouth. Gladio left immediately and she bumped his chest with her own as he attempted to squeeze past her.

“Bitch!” she spat out after him.

Ignis covered his face with his hands and waited for the shame to burn him alive.  

***

Aranea seethed. She had survived a near unendurable breakdown in communication with her work client, wasted a $2300 first class plane ticket, and had waited in traffic for an hour to get home to the man she loved instead of her own empty home. Now she knew why he hadn’t answered his phone. It would have been comical if her heart wasn’t exploding.

“You know, I’ve never hit a dude I fucked. You’re always the first, Ignis.”

He didn’t answer but at least he met her eyes. Aranea took a breath when she saw the depth of emotion in his face.

 I’ve loved you since the beginning,” she said quietly. She wanted to fight, but she wanted him to understand.

“You do not know what that means to me.”  

“How could you?” she whispered.

“I was…”

“What?”

“I didn’t think you would appreciate…knowing.”

“That you like to fuck men? You know I like to fuck women!”

“That’s different.”

“No. No, it’s not. You’re a coward…you…cheating cheater.” She sputtered and laughed. “You fucking bitch.”

“Aranea—"

“I swear to God, I can’t believe I let my guard down for you. I knew you were cold, Ignis. You always were. Why do you think I let you chase me for so long? All you care about is work. And, I guess, that big hunk of meat who just left.”

“That’s…what you thought of me?”

She set her heels down and stepped in them neatly. She bent over close to Ignis and whispered in his ear. “It’s what I _think_ of you, Ignis. Cold face. Cold body. Cold dick.”

“Please, Aranea—"

She left. It was a wiser option than murder. She stopped at the front desk to have the doorman hail a taxi. She noticed Gladio attempting to look inconspicuous at the bar and she stomped over and took his shot from him. The whiskey burned, and she coughed.

“You really do fuck anyone who moves, huh?” she said when she had recovered. It took everything in her not to claw his face off.

Gladio shrugged.

“I thought we knew each other better than that.”

He took a moment to answer. “I’m sorry, Aranea.”

“Take care of him.” She turned and left, waving away the doorman.

 

She walked in her heels to the nearby bar. She ordered a gin and tonic and frowned, looking about her. She noticed a blond practically crying in his beer. He looked familiar and he brightened at her look, then scowled at her. He took up his beer and stepped over carefully. She kept eye contact.

“Aranea, I hope you know how great the whole Caelum clan is,” he said. “You’re so beautiful, and they’re so beautiful, and you all are just really great beautiful people.” Dude wasn’t drunk. He was sad. “It’s me. The guy no one knows.”

“Prompto.” Who could forget that effervescent smile? Maybe because he wasn’t showing it. "You’re Noctis’s friend.”

“Oh wow. You really made my day.” His small smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“Let’s drink all our pain away.”

“Oh…yeah, you do look angry. But you’re in a suit so I’m guessing it was a hard day at work?” Prompto waved the bartender over and got them another round.

“That obvious?”

“Uh, seriously? You look like you could take out everyone here without breaking a sweat.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere.”

“I’ll be your whipping boy for the night.”

She laughed, he laughed, and then they were really laughing. They got good and toasted.

“Ignis…” he said and then looked away. “You’re waiting for Ignis?”

She didn’t answer.

“I was gonna talk to him again. I made it all the way out here. But then I realized he wasn’t the problem. I am.”

“Huh?”

“This whole place. This city. It’s really incestuous. I need to get out and meet some normal people.”

“Do you think I should leave, too?” Aranea mused. “I’m thinking…Europe.”

Let’s go to New York instead.”

Aranea thought of the last vacation she had. Ignis flew her to NYC and they had ate and drank and fucked their way through three blissfully short days.

She didn’t notice her tears until Prompto wiped them away.

She shook her head and brought up an app on her phone. “I’ve got an AmEx,” she slurred. “Wanna fly first class? The plane leaves in six hours to New York City.”

He stared at her steadily. “Just enough time to fuck and pack and dust off the old passports.”

She shrieked in laughter and pulled him to the bathroom. He manhandled her to the sink and she whooped at his unexpected strength. He ripped open a condom with his teeth and she stared at his impressively sized cock. They fucked against the wall, Prompto gathering her long legs around his neck. She orgasmed and he withdrew, threw the condom in the toilet, and kneeled. He whacked himself off as he stuck his face in her pussy and ate her come. She screamed and his come splattered all over her legs.

***

Two weeks later Luna had found a bit of an equilibrium. She had so many tasks now that her parents were deceased, and her girlfriends were supportive. But Noctis had turned into a pouty baby. Prompto had ghosted them all. Luna thought she would be happy. But she missed her best friend too, and now Noctis irritated her. Maybe she had ignored the thought of Noctis and Prompto being together because it fit them and their busy lives. She was startled out of her daydreaming when she arrived at the boutique.

Her advisor and best friend were already present. She was poked and prodded and photographed for a Japanese magazine to celebrate the upcoming nuptials. She hated these events; she thought modeling frivolous and complained privately to her friend.

Her BFF replied, “You know what your publicist will say! Donations, donations, donations.”

“Mom and Dad gave her too much power,” she grumbled.

“How else will you inspire millions to cut their own throats? Knowing they will never be as beautiful as the moon?”

“How are they supposed to donate to the cause if they’re dead?”

“You’re the smart one, Luna!”

She clutched her best girlfriend. “Don’t ever ghost me,” she whispered.

“You’re the one more likely to do that,” she whispered back loudly. “Come on. Just a few more shots, friend.”

It was finally over. Her friend scooped her up and led her quickly down the hallway to a different dressing room. She pushed her in first.

“What—” Luna said and then noticed the man sitting before her. He stood hastily as she entered.

“Sorry, don’t shoot the messenger!” BFF squeaked and fled.

Luna stared at him, open mouthed.

“I know, but I checked my horoscope, and it said I should take a chance, and so here I am. I’m joking. But not really. Luna, I promise—”

She kissed him and then told him to get her dress off. His thick fingers fumbled at the buttons and she hollered in frustration and her best friend stuck her head in.

“Everything copacetic—”

“Get me out of this!” Luna yelled at her and BFF laughed and made quick work of the back of the wedding dress and danced back out the door.

“Maybe we should—” Nyx said, eyes wide and she gestured at herself standing in her underwear.

“Really?” she said. “You have a condom?”

“Always.”

He ate her out and literally moaned. He looked up at her. “Sorry. That’s not sexy.”

“Yes it is,” she growled and she fucked him, and then he fucked her, and then they both came and she cried. He wiped the tears away and gathered her clothing.

“I just need to say,” he said, her panties in his hand and then he handed it to her and blushed. “I wanna say, if this is it and I never see you again, it was worth it. You are the most gorgeous woman I have ever met and that’s just what I know about your heart.”

She stared at him.

“I should…go?” he asked her. “I’ll put on my pants and I’ll go.” He didn’t move. She watched his lips part in anticipation. She wanted to bury herself in him and never escape.  

“I can’t marry Noct,” she finally answered, and he exhaled in relief and kissed her again.

 


	2. Noctis, Prompto, Cindy, Olivia OC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noctis and Prompto work some things out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Domestic Violence warning

Present Day (USA)

In the early morning hour Olivia jumped out of bed, smiling. She had a new job, a new condo and a new life. She grabbed her exercise clothes, stretched, and began her run, luxuriating in the fresh air. Her new exercise route led her through a park. She smiled at mothers jogging with their babies in strollers, wiggled her eyebrows at a cute older gentleman, and was dumbfounded by a beautiful blond male cheerfully hollering _good morning_. She was so dumbfounded that she replicated the exact timing of her run every other day that weekday—a personal best. She saw him every weekday over the next three weeks—a fucking miracle. And then, he was gone. She hadn’t realized she cared until he was missing. Which was a lie she told herself, because a run was something begrudgingly done twice a week, max, before.

 

The next time she saw him she planted herself in the middle of the path and refused to let him pass, giving him enough time to slow his brisk pace. He laughed, with his eyes and teeth.

“Where have you been?” she demanded.

“Working,” he said, his chest heaving.

“I—guess.”

“You don’t believe me?” he held a hand to his heart. “Maybe I can call you and let you know the next time I’ll be gone. So, you don’t get lonely.”

“Nah, just tell me where you live so I can come stalk you.”

“The address is—”

“Whoa, whoa. We’re moving way too fast,” she stuttered. His eyes were putting a spell on her. “Are you…an actor?”

He laughed. “Most people would call it that. What do you do?”

“Move papers around and surf the interwebs.”

He looked at her intently and didn’t laugh. “Do you know about Sparky’s?” he asked. “It’s on second street.”

“Huh?”

“It’s a bar. I can meet you. After you get off work today.”

Her mouth was dry. “I’ll be there at six.”

“I need your number. What if you stand me up?”

“When was the last time someone stood you up?”

He laughed again and began to jog backwards, narrowly evading a tree root. “Hey, what’s your name?”

“Olivia. You?”

“Prom.”

“Prom?”

“Prompto. I’m not from around here.”

“You sound like you are,” she said cheerfully and waved him away.

Olivia ran home and pleasured herself in the shower, then raced into work just in time.

***

Olivia and Prompto met at Sparky’s and dated over the next month. She initiated sex a few times, but he always did something else to bring her to orgasm, leaving her writhing around for a dick. She would have suspected something off but for the few times he rutted against her, showing off a much more than adequate size and girth. She asked him shyly about STDs and the next time he met her he had documentation attesting to his cleanliness. She jumped up, looking around for her last gynecologist paperwork, when Prom stopped her.

“So…there’s something I have to tell you,” Prom said.

“Hmm?” she said, dizzy with the smell of him, and they kissed.

“My job…”

“What?”

He disengaged from her hold and she whined. God, she was a grown woman _whining._

“Um, what I do for a living.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I…do act.”

“What?” Who cared?

“I’m in porn.”

Silence.

“I’m clean. I have to get cleared before every shoot.”

Silence.

He added, nervously, “It’s straight porn.”

She grimaced. “That’s a relief,” she said sarcastically.

“It kinda is, actually, I get enough work to live off of, most guys don’t—”

She interrupted him. “What’s your screen name? Or whatever they call it.”

“My stage name is…George Pooney. I got it from reddit.”

“Reddit is a fucking fountain of knowledge, second only to Wikipedia,” she said, desperate to not freak the fuck out. She dug around for her phone and typed in the name on the Pornhub search engine, not even taking the extra steps to go incognito. She turned away from him on the couch and he whistled as he waited. She has never heard him fucking whistle. Three pages of hits. Sixty videos. And that was just on Pornhub.

“Where…are you looking?” he asked hopefully. “If it’s a tube site, there’ll be a lot of reposts—”

She turned away from him even more, like a petulant child, hunched over her phone. She clicked on the number one clip, 2.8 million views, thirty minutes. A redheaded woman (natural, unless she dyed her trimmed bush) pleasured herself enthusiastically in a pink bedroom. Pooney walked in (tight white shirt, tight jeans, award winning smile) and demanded to know where his girlfriend was. The redhead pouted and said her stepsister was with her new boyfriend. Pooney was shocked at his ex’s betrayal. He asked who would take care of _this?_ He revealed his cock, the camera zoomed in, Olivia gasped, and Prom made a funny noise. The redhead was soon gob smocked with Pooney’s dick, deepthroating the shit out of the appendage. Far too soon, an epic plot twist arose: the stepsister walked in while the redhead rode Pooney reverse cowgirl. The redhead, about to orgasm, pouted. The girlfriend pouted as well. Pooney crooned to the stepsister who quickly forgave her boyfriend and step sister and joined in the fucking.

Olivia watched the whole clip, Prom now silent beside her.

“So, this is why we haven’t had sex yet.”

He looked surprised. “I thought it would be messed up…since you didn’t know.”

“So how often do you…work?”

“About every six weeks. I fly out to California.”

“Why do you live here?”

“It’s hard to save when you’re paying two grand for a studio out there.”

They were quiet for a while.

“I…don’t know,” she said.

“Yeah, I get that. Do you…want me to leave?”

“Maybe…we can talk tomorrow?”

He ruffled his hair. “Yeah. Okay.”

“How many women have you fucked?” she asked when he stood to go.

“On or off camera?”

“Altogether.”

“I…dunno.”

“Ballpark?”

“One hundred?”

She gasped. “So, you’re telling me that if _I_ was the porn star you’d date me?”

“Yeah.”

She smirked, and he smiled tentatively. When he left she spent the rest of her time looking through his clips. _Must be nice to be a man and fuck the world with no repercussions,_ she thought. It was around ten at night when someone knocked on her door. She ran to it, assuming it was Prom to make a romantic gesture, and saw her best friend Cindy.

“Can you text next time?” she snapped and burst into tears. Cindy, the friend that she was, gave her bestie a giant hug.

Olivia and Cindy grew up together in a tiny Southern town. The first time they had met was in elementary school and Cindy had saved her from a pack of bullies hurling racial epithets. Cindy had a country boyfriend and a city boyfriend, and apparently her city boyfriend had gotten drunk and barfed all in her truck. Disgusted and unwilling to make the drive back home tonight in the stench, she decided to crash with Olivia.

“So, I won’t be meeting this blond boy?” Cindy asked, smacking her gum. They were drinking stout beers on the couch after Olivia’s cry. “Tell me what happened. I’ll kill him dead.”

Wordlessly, Olivia handed her the cell phone.

“Aw, sheeit,” she drawled. “This is him? No way. He’s got a big one…Where’d that thang come from?”

“The more women you fuck, the bigger it gets.”

“But the smaller it is, the less women’ll fuck ya. The chickee and the egg, what comes first.” She sighed theatrically. “So. Why ya crying, again? He was a gentleman. He didn’t have to tell you.”

“So, you’d fuck him?”

“Right now! Where is he?” she looked around comically.

“If I call him what if he doesn’t answer?” she asked plaintively.

“Then he probably has his dick in someone else’s mouth.” Cindy snickered and took a swallow of her drink.

Olivia called him in a panic, and he answered right away. “Can you…come over?” she asked desperately.

“Yup,” he said, and she hung up and screamed.

“Jesus H Christ!” Cindy hollered from the kitchen. She brought out two more beers. “So. Am I joining in or just watching?”

“What do you want?” Olivia hadn’t been fucked in three months and she was salivating.

Cindy shrugged. “You the one who freaked out last time we did it.”

“A year ago? Freaked out because _Paw Paw_ got home early?”

“You act like he’s your own paw paw, get over it.” They smirked at each other. During Olivia’s middle school years her mother had died. Paw Paw had been instrumental in allowing her father to recover and remember he had a daughter to raise. Olivia had fond memories of playing with Cindy and learning how to fish from both men.

“I’ll be a real lady,” Cindy said. “I’ll listen to you guys while watching TV. Be real loud, alright?”

There was a knock and Cindy ran to the door and threw it open.

“Howdy!” Cindy yelled, and Olivia covered her face with her hands. _Howdy? Really?_

“You must be Cindy,” Prom said when he stepped in.

“Mmhmm,” she said. “Don’t mind me. I’m the help. Wanna beer?”

“Su—re,” Prom said and stood awkwardly in the kitchen.

“I tried to get Liv to answer the door naked, but she’s too much of a prude.”

“Cindy’s trying to use peer pressure to get me to fuck her. Which is also known as sexual harassment. Which is a step below sexual assault.”

“Ayn Rand is my leader, Liv. You can’t rape the willing, y’all!”

“First,” Prom cut in, “I’d like to say that I consider myself a feminist. Second…How much did you drink while I was gone?”

“This bitch is lit off a beer,” Cindy snickered.

“Shut up! Okay. Prom.” Olivia patted the seat next to her and he slid over, kissing her on the neck.

“I want to have a threesome,” she announced bravely. “My first.”

“I don’t know,” Prom said, and both women swiveled to him. “I mean…an hour ago you were all freaked out and now you want a threesome?”

“I trust Cindy. And we’ve had sex before.”

“More than ten times,” she said.

“You kept count?” Olivia grimaced.

Cindy shrugged.

Prom looked at Olivia and grinned. “Okay. How are we going to do this?”

“You’re the experienced one,” she whined.

“What are the rules?”

“Don’t fuck Cindy,” Olivia said. Cindy laughed and pinched her cheek.

“Do you play?” Prom asked Cindy while grabbing playstation controllers from the TV stand.  
“We’ll strip for it. No bullshit, clothing items only.”

“I suck at that!” Cindy complained.

“Good!” Olivia said and drained her second beer.

“Mortal Kombat?” Prom wiggled his eyebrows. “Ladies first. Go easy on your friend, yeah?” He squeezed Olivia’s butt as she went for another beer. She promptly kicked Cindy’s ass and Cindy chose to take off her jeans first, making sure to keep her tight boxer briefs up as she shimmied out. She draped the jeans over Prom.

“Go easy on me!” Olivia told Prom when Cindy handed him the controller.

“Like you were with Cindy?”

He kicked her ass and got her down to half health but then got cocky. Olivia rallied and beat him.

“I did that on purpose,” he said and pulled off his shirt.

“Bullshit,” she answered. And left the game unattended as she pulled off her clothes to her underwear and showed off the black bra and purple g string she didn’t get to show Prom earlier. She felt like a different woman, strong, and most importantly, horny. She pulled Cindy into a kiss and then straddled her on the couch and helped her pull off her top and bra. They kissed with tongue and Cindy made quick work of Olivia’s bra. They ground on each other, moaning and Cindy’s hands snaked around to her ass, tickling her pussy and asshole and Olivia moaned in her mouth. “I wanna get fucked first,” Liv whispered to her best friend who mumbled indecipherably.  “Why are your pants still on?” she asked Prom and it only took seconds for his dick to swing free and him to rip a condom open with his teeth. He fucked her on the couch while she lay against Cindy who whispered in her ear and pinched her nipples. He entered slowly, muttering about how tight she was, and fucked her slowly, looking straight at Olivia and kissing her. Which she didn’t expect, from all those pornography clips. He made love to her until she snapped at him to _do it right_ , and of course he knew exactly what she meant and began to pound her like a gentleman, his dick stuck on a warm hot place that would enflame them all. She made embarrassing noises as she felt herself melting in complete submission. She began crying and Prom leaned back, grabbed her ankle and rode her through his own orgasm. He pulled out at the moment a rap ringtone began to drone. Liv slid to the floor and Cindy pounced on her, rubbing their wet pussies together while Olivia moaned from overstimulation. Cindy’s tits in her face, she pushed them together and sucked on her nipples and Cindy came quickly, kissed her sloppily, and lie sprawled on the floor theatrically. The ringtone began again.

“Check your phone,” Olivia said, fucked and drooling. “Proper etiquette is…is…”

“You turn off your ringer before you fuck someone,” Prompto muttered.

“Proper etiquette is letting y’all have some personal time,” she said and sat up, pushing her hair off her face. She marched around for her jeans and panties, ran to the bathroom and ran back out. “I might be in trouble,” she said, glancing at her phone.  
“You two are the best-looking women I’ve ever seen,” Prom declared and placed a couch pillow over his crotch.

“Flattery will get you everywhere.” Cindy flipped her hair, gathered her things and kissed Olivia goodbye. “Can I get a picture?” she whispered in her ear.

“So you have evidence against me when I’m running for Congress?”

“My delusional friend,” she tossed over her shoulder and bounced.

Liv addressed Prompto. “Your cum face didn’t look like that on your videos.”

He laughed. “I wasn’t acting.”

***

Olivia and Prompto were together five months. She bought his all access porn pass for $99 and followed him on social media, secretly fuming at the dumb bitches, male and female, following him. Their relationship was stable, and Olivia had his workweeks blocked out on her calendar. And then, she was ghosted. Prom hadn’t answered his phone in ten days. She was resigned to being alone, with the bonus that this upcoming weekend was her birthday. She prided herself on having only two ugly cry fits in those ten days. It didn’t help that a new George Pooney video updated on the ninth blackout day, but it did help that Cindy was back in the city, bouncing around between a new boyfriend and Olivia’s place.

Olivia’s birthday party was a good turnout, an eclectic mix of old country friends and coworkers from the last few years of climbing the employment ladder. A former high school crush, a stocky dark-skinned man with a kilowatt smile, showed up. While Olivia danced with him Cindy came over and sandwiched her in. Cindy turned around, executing a drunkenly complicated dance maneuver, when she suddenly scowled.

“What’s _he_ doing here?” she hollered in Olivia’s ear. Olivia swiveled her neck to see the second hottest blond in the room coming her way.

“Hey,” he grinned.

“Mmm?”

“Hey, it’s Pooney!” her old crush said excitedly. “You didn’t tell me you know Pooney!”

She was about to make a rude remark when the words died on her throat. Drinking a beer and leaning against her fridge across the room was the sexiest man she had ever seen. He stared at her and swallowed the beer. They kept eye contact and he swallowed again. Jesus Christ.

Prom charmed her crush, just like he could charm anyone, anywhere. “Can I have this dance?” he twirled her away, breaking the spell. She laughed, despite herself.

“So, tell me,” she slurred. “Where were you?”

“Would you believe me if I said I flew to Japan and broke my phone and didn’t have your number memorized and forgot my apple ID login and password?”

She was so drunk that it was actually funny. She gulped in laughter. “You forgot to mention that you hired a Japanese male model to complete the charade. Perfectly coiffed hair. Smooth…skin…” she tongued her beer bottle, looking over at that man, and the world tilted just a bit. A tiny voice in her head said that she was sure to have drunk goggles set to maximum.

He looked at her funny. “That’s my best friend,” he said. Which was even funnier, she almost peed her pants.

“You lying liar!” she declared. “I told you _alls_ about Cindy and you don’t tell me that you fly to Japan sometimes with your best friend? And fuck bitches all over the collection of islands that makes up the country?”

He looked pained and said quickly, “You’re drunk. His name’s Noctis and I’ve mentioned him.”

She looked at him, confused, then ran to her bathroom. Cindy bogarted her way in while she was on the toilet. “I command you not to fuck that asshole tonight,” she said.

“But he was in Japan!” she whined.

Cindy whooped. “I talked to that Asian guy out there, he ain’t got no Japanese accent.”

“Why’d you talk to him?” she whined louder.

“Because he’s fucking gorgeous?”

“Lots of peoples of da world speak da English,” Olivia slurred.

“Uh, remember our college diversity class? Americans just assume that everyone else speaks English. We’re not tourists, you goddamn drunk bitch!”

Olivia fled to her balcony where, magically, her crush stood smoking a blunt. “Sorry,” he said, blowing out and making attempts to make the smoke dissipate.

“It’s alright, all my coworkers already left.” And she attacked him to forget about Prom and his dumb friend.

 

The party stragglers left. Olivia’s crush promised to text her later after their make out session. Only Cindy and the two guys remained. She had nimbly avoided Prom’s friend until he introduced them while the guy sat on her couch. Looking like he fucking owned the place.

“I’ve told you about my friend, Noctis.”

She wanted to ask Prom why he was lying, but she was so grateful that he was her birthday present that she ignored it. She looked at Noctis and held up her hand limply. Prom laughed and Noctis smirked and kissed it.

“I told you she might kick us out,” Prom said.

“At the end of the party ain’t a kick out,” Cindy said.

“Here’s your present, Olivia.” Prom handed her an envelope. They were tickets to a professional football game, her favorite team.

“You must’ve bought these when you still liked me,” she commented, and Cindy choked on her water and Noctis grimaced. “I can’t take these.”

“Liv…”

“Don’t call me Liv, please,” she said politely.

He sighed. “Are we still going to your dad’s cabin…”

“She won’t go. Too citified for the country folk,” Cindy said, whose boyfriend currently had possession of her vehicle.

“Now it’s too late, I didn’t rent a car and unless we’re warping ninety miles it’s not gonna happen.”

Noctis said, “I can take you guys.”

“Really?” she said, startled. Tears started to prick her eyes as she thought of her dead parents.

“It’s no problem,” he said.

 

***

The group headed out the next day at eleven. Both guys seemed withdrawn and Prom drove. Olivia and Cindy, hung over, hang out in the back. It was a quiet drive. Olivia unlocked the place and both guys naturally took over, opening up the windows and airing out the place. Cindy brewed them some coffee while Olivia wandered back to the shed. The door was open. Inside, Noctis held her father’s fishing pole, the one he had treasured the most.

“What are you doing?” she asked sharply, already regretting the tone.

“Sorry. I wouldn’t like it if someone was messing with my poles.” He handed it back.

“Oh. I didn’t know you fished. That’s why you picked that one.”

“Yeah. I haven’t in a while, though.”

“Me either.” Her voice cracked.

“Sorry about your dad.”

She blinked. “Prom told you he died this year?”

“Prom’s said a lot about you.”

“Is this where I say the same thing?”

He shrugged.

“Where’d you come from?”

He sighed.

“Does Prom like me?” she asked plaintively and thought instantly of her middle school years: Do you like me? Yes _ No_Maybe_

“Yeah.”

And that was it. She rolled her eyes and grabbed her father’s tacklebox and shook out her old fishing boots for spiders before pulling them on. She thought she was alone at the lake when he slipped near her and strung out his own line on the dock. _This dude’s a ninja,_ she thought and then she thought, _is that racist_ and then she thought, _black people can’t be racist_ and then she thought, _well of course, all people can be racist,_ and then she said “What” because Noctis had asked her a question.

“What’s out here?” he asked.

“Cows and grass, mostly.”

“No, I mean the lake.”

“What?” This dude was mesmerizing. She watched his mouth. _Jesus._

“It’s alright,” he mumbled.

She caught a fish, but it was too small, and she threw it back. And she couldn’t stand being next to him for another moment, so she bounced. While she was in the shed putting the poles up he sneaked up again.

“Jesus!” she shouted and knocked her elbow into a cabinet.

“Why are you so sacrilegious?” he moved closer and she bumped back into a lawnmower.

“It’s hard…not to be…in the face of such…”

“Such what?”

“Ugh?”

“Use your words,” he whispered and instead she closed her eyes and parted her lips and he tucked his arm around her and kissed her. After a few seconds she broke away and danced to the entrance of the shed.

“You’re funny,” he said without smiling.

“If I fucked you do you think Prom would get mad?”

“If I say yes, will you do it?”

She shrugged.

“What if I say no?”

She smirked.

“Okay. Okay,” he said and ran his fingers through his hair.

“What’s up with you and Prom?”

“Huh?”

“Oh, I see,” she said. “Do you always hit on the women he’s fucking? That’s a big long list.”

“Big and long? That’s what she said.”

“Why don’t I know anything about you?”

He thought for a moment. “Because snitches get ditches.”

“I like Prom.”

“So do I.” He kissed her again, and she allowed him to.

“How do you do that?” she moaned and pushed him off.

He shrugged. “Look at me.” He flexed for her, and the lack of a smile on his face as he did so made her shake her head.

“You’re just like Cindy,” she sighed.

“I think you mean Prom. He’s the blond one.”

She wanted to retort that she was referencing their shameless narcissism, but armchair diagnoses were never helpful. Instead she said something worse. “This is pretty much exactly how me and Cindy started fucking a few years ago.”

“She flexed for you?” he raised his eyebrows.

“What does she have that’s better than your arms?”

“Ahh.” He gestured in front of his chest. “She’s got great big…tracts of land.”

“She also made me watch that stupid fucking movie! Get behind me, Satan!” Olivia shouted and ran back to the house in time to see a late model beat up SUV hauling ass down the dirt road, away from her parent’s cabin.

“Where’s Cindy?” she asked Prom who shrugged.

“She got out of here,” he said. After a beat he asked, “Are you alright?”

“Huh?” she asked and ran to the bathroom. She rubbed out an orgasm in five minutes and stared at herself in the mirror for another five. She rushed out and said they needed to leave, Noctis shrugged, and they left.

They headed home, a four-hour round trip for one hour of fishing. It was worth it, especially since she got off again, solo in the backseat.

***

On Noctis’s previous trip to the States to see their wayward sheep Prompto, he hardly recognized him. Prompto had changed a lot in the past eighteen months, starting when he had fled from them all. Their relationship had turned long distance. But Noctis could acknowledge that he himself had also changed since being dumped by Luna.

Noctis and Ignis had been hit the hardest by Prom’s defection, but Gladio had also turned irritable, and running the business under his father’s authoritarian rule was an even greater burden. To punish Prom for leaving and ruining the Noctis-Luna engagement, Regis had frozen his bank accounts and Prom was too proud to accept money from Noctis.

Noctis was the first to know about Prom’s American employment; he had sent him a text and Noctis had clicked on the video and that was that. Noctis didn’t care who Prom fucked but he cared who Prom loved, and during their last visit Prom was evasive enough that he became jealous.  So he went through Prom’s phone, an awful, disgusting habit he’d learned from being under the thumb of his father and the business. Noctis wasn’t on social media. He looked at Olivia’s Instagram, her facebook, the fucking personal pictures and selfies under Prom’s photos. He became enraged and slammed the phone down on the kitchen countertop, then panicked at the cracked screen. He needed an excuse. He threw the phone out and fabricated something about Ignis and Gladio needing help. It wasn’t his finest hour, but it worked. Until Prom’s whining got them back to the US so he could call on this random woman named Olivia.

***

After they dropped Olivia off from the cabin trip Noctis said, the words thick in his throat, “Sorry.”

No answer for a minute and then Prom said, “I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you apologize.”

“Yeah, well.”

“For what?”

“Huh?”

“What are you apologizing for?”

“I was jealous.”

“Yeah. I figured that out kinda late. I like her.”

“Yeah, I noticed.”

“I kinda let you run my life, if you haven’t noticed.”

“You ran away.”

“We already went through all that, you know why. Besides, you guys were suffocating me. And this last trip back was all the same bullshit. And Iggy…”

“He can’t help himself.”

“Yeah, that’s what Aranea would say, too.”

“Why are we talking about this?”

“You brought it up.”

“I kissed Olivia, by the way. I mean, she was making out with that dude at her party last night—”

“You know Noct…” he interrupted, “You do what you want. Whatever that is, okay? That’s what Luna would say.”

“Wow.”

After a moment Prom asked, “Was she interested?”

“No. I don’t know. Maybe? She just wanted to make you mad.”

When they got to Prom’s place Noct went to bed alone. He awakened by a dream that transmuted into reality that was just as good.

“Prom?” he mumbled.

“Shut up,” Prom answered. His lithe body was over Noct’s and he was naked. Noct allowed his boyfriend to do what he wanted. Prom fished a hand through the opening of Noctis’s boxer briefs. “You’re always hard,” Prom muttered. Noct moaned when he felt wetness on his dick and Prom sucked hard and then rolled the tip of his tongue all around the shaft, ending at the head of his dick again. Noctis stuck his hands in Prom’s hair but he shook him off and sat up to pull Noct’s underwear off. Prom put a condom on Noct’s dick and they looked at each other for a second before Prom sat down on his dick, his back arched back and his face tight in controlled pleasure. “Mmm,” he said as he took him inch by inch. Noctis studied his face, and he thought of Luna, and he thought that maybe he was unable to love anyone the way they deserved, and then Prom started rocking and the bad thoughts fled. Prom felt so good and tight and it had been a while for him because Prom had only fucked him once while they were in Japan. And while they were in Japan they had fought, and Prom didn’t want to stay, and asked him to “runaway” and what a childish thing to do, you just didn’t run away from responsibility like Luna and Prom, who the fuck did they think they were?

Noctis flipped him on his back and held Prom’s legs up as he fucked him hard. He asked harshly, “Who else…have you let fuck you like this?”

“You ruin everything,” Prom huffed and began whacking his dick. He came as quickly as possible and pushed Noct off him with the clean hand. “You need to learn how to be a gentleman.”

“I’m not finished.” Noctis grabbed his wrist.

“Did you hear what I just said? Fuck you.” Prom wiped his dirty hand on Noctis’s face and Noctis allowed him to. Prom turned away to go and then turned around to complain some more and his face met direct contact with Noct’s phone, the latest largest model with a hefty case.

“Fuck, Prom, you weren’t supposed to turn around—”

“So it would have hit the back of my head and knocked me the hell out? You did that on purpose, you fucking freak!” Prom looked at him and shook his head. “You act like you’re the normal one, but you’re not.”

Noctis took the condom off his now withered dick. He whispered _sorry_ but by that time Prom was out the door.

***

The next day Prompto took Olivia out to an early dinner before the game. He seemed distracted and distant, his face wan. And he had a black eye. This bruise confirmed Olivia’s theory. She had done a lot of thinking about what had happened these past two weeks, and what became clear was only through a dream she had last night: Noctis and Prompto fucking each other. Which had left her near sopping in her own bed. When they were seated at their table she looked at Prom sympathetically and he smiled back, surprised.

“Hey,” he said.

“Sup,” she said.

“I have your number memorized,” he said.

She laughed, delighted. “Plus the area code? That’s amazing. So is your friend at your place, pouting?”

Prom said carefully, “Yeah. He has…a lot of responsibilities at home. It’s my home too, but sometimes I need to escape to the real world. Away from the track I’m expected to go. The world’s a big place, you know?”

“How long is he in town for?”

He shrugged. “Usually not longer than a week. Too much…work.”

“Will we meet up with him after?”

He looked surprised. “If you want.”

She said, happily and prettily, yes.

***

After the football game Prompto took Olivia to a bar where Noctis already had a private table. Prom disappeared for a while and Noct excused himself politely to receive a business call. He spoke in Japanese, bellowing to be heard over the crowd, and then hung up.

“Why don’t you have an accent?” she asked. “I have more an accent than you. You sound like you’re from the Midwest.”

“I’m worldwide,” he said enigmatically.

“Just like Prom.”

He smiled, unexpectedly.

“How long have y’all known each other?”

“A while.”

“You hedge just like Prom.”

He shrugged lazily. “He learned it from the best.”

“Why’s he been acting so moody since you came along?”

“He had…stuff he left behind at home,” he evaded.

“Why did you hit him?” she felt cold, and angry.

“Wow, you really know how to turn off the charm. He told you I hit him?”

“I know people out here who could fuck you up,” she threatened. “This is my city. You’re not from around here. I don’t care how long y’all been fucking, you can’t just hit someone you love—”

He blinked, looked irritated and then smoothed it away. “He told me he didn’t tell you about us. And anyway, it was an accident. It was my phone and I threw it and if he hadn’t been bitching nothing would have happened. If I would’ve hit him he would’ve needed a hospital.”

“What does your Japanese girlfriend have to say about that?” she flirted, moving closer.

“The last one I had…I don’t want to talk about her.”

She pulled back. “I’m sorry.”

“What for? It almost seems like a different life.” He placed his hand on her thigh and she removed it.

“I got the weed!” Prom announced gleefully. He then said, “Oh shit. What happened.”

“You share all your women?” Olivia asked.

“Uh…”

“Noctis won’t stop propositioning me,” she said haughtily, and Prom looked relieved.

“He does that.”

“So, is this a test?” she asked.

“Of what?” he was cute when he was confused.

“Loyalty,” Noctis said. “Obviously.”

“Are _you_ loyal?”  he asked her.

“Why should I be?” she shrugged carelessly. “So. No one answered. What happens if me and Noctis have sex?”

Prom sighed. “You turn into a groupie. He loves all his groupies.”

“You have more groupies than I ever could, Prom,” Noctis replied, syrupy sweet.

“I need to start dating a normal guy. And have a normal life.” She shook her head and took a long drink.

“Prom belongs to me,” Noctis said quietly and Prom looked at him in alarm. “No matter who it is, no matter where it is, he will always come back to me.”

They were silent for a while and she asked “Why?”

He looked pained. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“You are so conceited.”

He shrugged.

She finished her drink. “Are we headed to my place?” she asked.

***

Olivia set do not disturb on her phone and started playing BTS. “Y’all get started. Pretend I’m not here.”

“What are you doing, playing that shit?” Noctis asked.

“They’ve sold out in Japan during their tour, I don’t want to hear it. They’re amazing.”

She thought Noct would have trouble or be embarrassed, but he stood and pulled off his shirt. He wasn’t the best dancer, but he landed on beat mostly and slowly pulled off his jeans.

“Wow,” she said.

“I’ve seen him so much it’s lost its magic,” Prom said.

“That’s like saying you’ve fucked enough your whole life, and you don’t need to ever get laid again,” Noctis answered. He stood in his boxer briefs, with an impressive bulge at half mast. Olivia poked it and he grabbed her hand and tugged her over. He got on his knees in front of Prom and they wrestled for a bit until Prom whined and pulled out his dick. Noctis sucked it and then kissed Olivia and made her suck his dick and then he licked her mouth, sticking his tongue in her mouth. She moaned. “Take off your clothes and leave on your stockings,” he told her, and she listened. He and Prom looked at her, Prom’s dick in his hand, glistening. Noctis kneeled in front of him again and swallowed him whole.

“’C’mere,” Prom gasped to Olivia and he gripped her ass and pulled him to her. “Gimme,” he said and she gave him her breasts and he slobbered on her tits and unloaded. Noct wiped his mouth.

“Gross,” she said, laughing at him and whooped when Noct grabbed her ankles and pulled her towards him and kissed her, sloppily.

“Why aren’t you wearing any panties?” Noctis ripped the crotch out of her stockings before she could stop him.  

“I paid twenty bucks for these!”

“He likes to rip panties off, too,” Prom muttered and pulled up his jeans.

“I bet he’s ripped you out of a lot of things,” she answered, and Prom chuckled.

“Where the fuck?” Noctis asked impatiently, and Prom handed him a condom. She scrambled onto Prom’s lap. Noctis fingered her and attempted to eat her out and she pushed him off.

“You’re not getting me pregnant with Prom’s baby.” She tried to whine and get away from his wandering hands, but Prom held her.

“What’s the safe word?” Noctis asked.

“Stop?”

He laughed. “You have to do better than that.”

“Nuh uh.”

“Prom said you’ve never been fucked in the ass…”

“No! Okay. No anal. That’s all I ask. For right now.”

“She likes a finger in the butt sometimes,” Prom crooned, hot in her ear. 

“What is _your_ safe word?” she accused.

“Me? I don’t need one,” Noctis said and she shivered. He pulled on the condom. He pushed in his dick and she inhaled as he stuffed her. He was different, yet similar to Prom. “Is she always this quiet?” Noctis asked after a few minutes of sex.

“Well, she just told you she thinks swallowing is gross. She’s defective.”

Noctis, outraged, began to fuck her, and her legs started shaking.

“You’re taking too long. She gets distracted easy.” Prom said. He played with her clit.

“Yes. Yes,” she whimpered, and Prom kissed her.

“Tell me…tell me you want me,” Noctis panted and tightened his hands around her thighs.

She tried to stay quiet, but he slowed down again, and she whispered his name and that caused her to spill over the edge.  

***

“I told you. Everything that’s Prom’s is mine,” Noctis said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luna and Aranea will be in the next post, I had to fix some things


	3. money, money, money

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone is pregnant! Someone is broke! Someone is broke and pregnant!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rape Warning

(18 months ago – present; UK)

Aranea and Prompto had a great time in New York but were ultimately not compatible. They rarely spoke of the people left behind. After parting ways, Aranea went to the UK to visit the beloved elderly aunt she considered a grandmother.

“When are you getting married, dear?”

“No one will have me, Nana.”

“Nonsense, love. You just haven’t met the right one yet. Let me write you a check—”

“No, it’s okay, Nana. You and Mom have taken care of me. I’m incorrigible at this point.”

“What else am I supposed to do with all this money, take it with me?”

“Go hire a pool boy, Nana.”

The wrinkles in her face moved as her aunt smirked. “Go find me one, dear. You have excellent taste.”

***

Aranea took the hand of the driver as he helped her out her aunt’s luxury vehicle. She had a last minute reservation at Clos Maggiore and she was eager to ignite her taste buds. Her table was at a prime location and the maître d treated her like the royalty she was.

She felt eyes on her as she sipped her wine. She looked up to see a silver haired man staring intently at her from the bar. The moment they made eye contact he immediately excused himself from the woman he was conversing with and headed her way. He was tall, at least 6’4, and broad, and…beautiful.

She looked at him coolly as he approached. Before he could speak she said, “Well, that was rude. Your date looks miffed.”

“Her? She’s bad news. She’s divorced with a gaggle of kids at home.”

“She volunteered that information?”

“Oh, I ask. So. Do you have any children?”

“Since we are asking personal questions—are you old money or new?” she sniffed.

“Ma’am?” The maître d cut in smoothly. “Would you like a chair for the gentleman?”

The men stood for a moment before Aranea tipped her head in agreement.

“Whew,” the stranger said. “You had me sweating for a minute.”

“You look like you deserve to be put on the spot.”

“You’re right. And back to where we were—I’m new money. The newest of the new. I made a killing on Brexit. I shall buy a chateau and throw bread at the commoners.”

“Cake. The people want cake.”

“So, you know your history and how accurate it can be?”

“I speak four languages fluently and have been educated at the finest of institutions, so, yes I do know history and how accurately it is recorded. Now, back to this chateau—will you need someone to help rule the peons? Someone stronger, more powerful and smarter than you?”

“You forgot beauty. The most important trait a person can have.”

“What is your name, again, sir?”

“Madam, I am Ravus.”

“I am Aranea. And I plan on dying childless surrounded by cats.”

“Oh. So you’re sterile.”

She said hotly, “I am _not_ sterile.”

He stroked his chin. “I will call you Aphrodite. I will cremate your dead body and cremate the cats and mingle the ashes and throw it in the ocean.”

“First of all, the cats won’t be dead.”

“They’ll be fat from feasting on your dead body.” Ravus nodded.

“And second of all, I’d rather my ashes be thrown in a volcano.”

“As you wish.”

“You know what, I’m not sure I want to have sex with a celebrity. It seems…gauche.”

“But I’m the best of the celebrity pool, dear. I’m not on a reality show and I don’t scream about politics.”

“You simply steal from the poor and give to the rich with your bad stock market tips?”

“I’m on the BBC, how could you accuse me of such a thing?”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”

“We’ll have to find out, won’t we?”

The plates began to come out and they spent the next two hours bantering with each other. Aranea’s panties were positively soaked when they finished the meal.

“Put it on my tab,” he told the maître d’. “Please don’t mention to the lady that I’m thousands behind in payment.”

“Discretion is what we do best, sir.”

***

Ravus threw money at the valet. They raced through the narrow streets in his pristine late model Jaguar. He handed her a flask and she drank. He was a scotch man.

“How do I know you’re trustworthy?” she asked.

“I have to be these days, I don’t need to pay off a sexual harassment suit. Besides, you can always trust a man who looks like me,” he said. They arrived at a ritzy hotel and Ravus threw more money around before they were whisked up to the penthouse via a private lift.

She stood before the floor to ceiling windows, enjoying the unobstructed panoramic view. She felt Ravus behind her.

“You can fix our drinks,” he said. “I’m okay with getting roofied tonight, but I can’t get it up in such an inebriated state. Just FYI.”

She made them two old fashioned drinks and handed one to her date.

“Let me see what I’m working with,” she announced.

“Come closer and get me going.”

She sauntered closer and stuck her tits in his face.

“You smell so good,” he moaned, and he put her hand on his dick that bulged through his dress slacks.

“Wow,” she said.

“My turn,” he said.

She stood with her legs apart and he carefully inched the skirt of her dress up to reveal red lingerie. “I had a feeling I’d meet you tonight,” she said and grabbed the cloth from his hands and turned around and bent over, shaking her butt. “Unzip me?” she said and squealed when she felt Ravus’s lips on her ass, instead. He kissed her butt cheeks and massaged her pussy with his thick fingers.

“You’re wet,” he murmured and then spread her ass cheeks. She shivered as she felt him lick her ass. “You’re so fucking sweet,” he said and stuck his tongue in her pussy and she shook. After a few minutes he almost brought her to orgasm and she had to crawl away from him and put her forehead on the cool window and catch her breath.

“You’re not almost done already, are you?”

“I don’t know if I can handle you,” she answered truthfully. “Be gentle.”

He pulled off his clothes and draped them carefully over a chair. “What is that look for? My dick is huge, isn’t it?”

“You remind me of an ex.” She didn’t bother to mention that she was referencing Ravus’s fastidiousness, not his huge dick. Although it was clearly the biggest she had ever had.

“He sounds like a true gentleman, but clearly not worthy of you.”

“Clearly.”

He pulled her up into his arms and she felt safe. They kissed passionately before he finally unzipped her, and she stood in half naked glory.

“Perfect,” he whispered, and she believed him. He unfastened and unzipped everything carefully (like Ignis would have) and materialized a condom that he slipped on. Then, without preamble, he lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He held her against the cold glass of the window and he entered her slowly like his dick had found his long lost home. He kept a hand around his dick while he worked her open, but she was so wet from her own arousal and the oral sex, that it didn’t take long before she was comfortable, and started chasing her orgasm. He began to fuck her like a piston after hearing her cries of encouragement. It was the best orgasm of her life.

***

Ravus was also similar to Ignis in that Aranea wasn’t exactly sure what he did for a living and where all the money came from. He compartmentalized his associates and friends and spoke disparagingly of his mother. They only visited his dear old mom once in her subsidized flat. She presented them with saltines and tinned cheese and nodded off in an opiate haze. As they left, Ravus told Aranea that he had given his mother and various family members nearly a quarter million euros over the last five years, only to see it spent on stupidity.

**

Ravus was in Ireland when he called Aranea in Britain and asked her if she and Nana were willing to meet him in Scotland. “I have to show my family off to some business people tomorrow,” he explained to her. They flew to Scotland on a private plane. Nana grinned like a Cheshire cat and bragged that she would find a young man to take home. The airport limo whisked them to the Witchery at Edinburgh.

“Wow,” Aranea said.

“The last time I was here, everything was _so_ much cheaper,” Nana said and adjusted the diamonds in her ears, the diamonds around her throat, the diamonds around her wrist and the diamonds on her fingers.

After dinner in a private room Ravus stood and then kneeled before Aranea who gasped and looked at her aunt who clapped in delight.

“Aranea, marry me,” he announced. “I will pay for everything and I will love you until I’m dead.”

Aranea croaked.

He opened the jewelry box and there glowed a giant ruby engagement ring.

“It’s untreated.”

Aranea croaked again.

“You must answer him, dear,” Nana said.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes,” she shouted, and he twirled her around and they ate and drank and made merry.

**

Luna and Nyx received a wedding invitation after Luna called with congratulations regarding Aranea’s engagement announcement. Aranea and Luna had met only a few times while Aranea and Ignis dated. During the bachelorette party Aranea and Luna bonded over their shared disdain for the Caelum clan while avoiding the specifics of who fucked who, when and where.

**

Aranea and Ravus were married after signing a prenup which was fiercely debated.

“If you cheat on me I get one hundred thousand pounds a year,” Aranea announced.

“Fine.”

“And that little coup of yours.”

This was the second time she saw him nearly break into sweat. He heaved a sigh.

“Okay, Aranea. But if you cheat on me, I get the same. And since you have poor taste in vehicles, I’ll be taking your Nana.”

**

After the Aranea-Ravus honeymoon, Luna and Nyx joined them for an intimate dinner party. Luna was wrapping up some business in the UK and had to go to the States soon. They were drinking wine after their catered seafood dinner.

Luna poked Nyx when Ravus left to go grab another bottle of chardonnay.

“Luna has an announcement to make,” he said.

“I’m…” Luna couldn’t speak and Nyx rolled his eyes.

“You’re pregnant?” Aranea asked.

“I—lost it all!” Luna wailed.

“What?”

“She’s broke,” Nyx said and chuckled and both women looked at him, horrified. “Hey,” he said. “She can suffer like everyone else. At least she looks good doing it.”

Aranea shrieked in horror. “You’re…poor?”

Nyx shook his head and Ravus rushed in with the wine in hand.

“Everything okay?” he looked at his wife. “I’ve never heard you make that noise before.”

“I lost my entire stock portfolio. She has _empathy_ for my _plight,_ ” Luna said haughtily.

“Sign up for services with your nonprofit,” Nyx suggested and she pinched him, hard.

“Don’t ask me for money,” Aranea said and smirked.

“Oh please, no one is going to ask Cruella Deville for a dime.” Luna sighed. “It’s not all bad. I have a few hundred thousand dollars in an American bank account. It was my dad’s emergency fund.”

“How do people live on such a small sum?” Aranea asked and Nyx guffawed. She continued, “But seriously. What happened?”

“There’s an investigation going on,” Luna shrugged. “But the way everything was structured…it doesn’t make sense.”

“I know a guy,” Ravus said. “He’s a…forensic accountant.”

“I’m sure he is,” Aranea said.

“He can see where the money went. Do you two have a hooker and cocaine habit?”

“I’ve never paid for a sex worker,” Nyx said, and Luna shrugged. “Wow,” he said.

“Nyx is teaching me how to be poor,” she announced.

“Changing the subject?” Ravus asked.

Nyx squeezed Luna’s knee. “I get it, Luna.” He addressed Ravus. “I’m just teaching her the basics. Cooking your own food. Wiping your own ass. Flying coach.”

Aranea screamed again.

***

Later that night Ravus asked, “Aranea?”

“Yes, my sun and stars?”

“Have you ever slept with Luna?”

“No. Why?”

“I think…we have the same father.”

Silence.

“Ravus?”

“Yes, Aphrodite?”

“An accountant found out such information in mere hours?”

“He’s the best in the field.”

She decided to let that one go. It was too late, after all. They were married. “Ravus, would you leave me if I went broke?”

“I already pay for everything, how would that happen?”

“Oh, I don’t know. You mentioned cocaine and hookers.”

“I’d make you pawn your engagement ring and put you on a budget.”

“What is the term called ‘pawning’?”

“Something that, God willing, you’ll never need to know. So, what happens if _I_ go broke?”

“At this point…I would suffer with you. But I would have to have a sugar daddy.”

“You’re only allowed to have a sugar mama.”

“I don’t know very many women who have the kind of money I’m used to. Wage inequality is a real shame…Ravus?”

“Yes, love?”

“You know Luna’s…father is dead?”

“Yeah. He changed his name before moving to Japan and marrying her mother.”

“So what does that mean?”

Ravus hesitated. “I have to do so more digging, first.”

“The world is a small place when you have so much money,” she remarked. She leaned in close to her husband. He smelled so good, so perfect, so _rich._ “Are you okay?” she whispered loudly, and he pecked her on the cheek.

“I…don’t know.”

***

Nyx and Luna went to their economical suite with rough linens and towels. They cuddled on the bed and Nyx turned on the TV to a sports channel.

“Tell me about this…prostitute.”

“I didn’t know I was supposed to pay her until after we did it,” Luna whined. “I thought she liked me.”

“You got hustled by a pro? I thought you were worldly.” He kissed the side of her neck while she giggled and tried to escape his arms. “What was her name?”

“Ah. Yumi.”

“And what did she do to you?”

“She kissed me…”

He trailed kisses across her breasts and then sucked on a nipple while she gasped in delight.

“Did she do this?” He stroked his fingers along her ass and tickled her asshole and she squealed. “Huh?” he asked again.

“Ye-es,” she said.

He tunneled under the covers and tickled her thighs. She opened her legs and he licked her wet slit back and forth, alternating between fast and slow while she moaned lightly and dug her fingers in the free strands of his hair while she gently caressed the lines of his two braids. She teetered on the edge of orgasm for what seemed like forever until she finally reached the peak. Nyx wiped his mouth off and grabbed her. He flipped her, so she was on her belly, and propped her up so her ass was in the air.

“Here it comes!” he yelled and entered her. She came too many times to count.

**

(18 months ago; Japan)

Gladio and Noctis stomped into Ignis’s office. It was before noon. Something was obviously wrong.

“You told Prom _what?”_ Noctis demanded.

“I told him to stop being a third wheel.” Ignis said without shame.

“Shit,” Gladio said.

“It’s not my problem. Luna was sobbing in my arms—”

“Wait, what did Luna tell you?”

“That she was interested in having a husband who loved her more than he loved Prompto.”

Noctis was furious. “You’re full of shit. My dad told you to, and you were his little bitch.”

“It’s not my problem,” Ignis repeated. “You should learn to handle your personal business, Noctis.”

“Gladio. Leave.” Noct said.

“Don’t leave any marks on him,” Gladio threw over his shoulder as he left.

Ignis grabbed Noctis by the chin and tipped up his face. They stared at each other. “I told you about this,” he said. “About Luna, and Prompto. Years ago.”

“You bitch about everything, you should learn to prioritize.”

“You’ll be the end of me, Noctis.”

“Prove it.”

“I work for your father, not for you.”

“He won’t live forever. I’ll remember how disloyal you were. I’ll put you out on the streets.”

“My dear boy, I have not been coddled like you. I will survive without a daddy and a coterie of attendants.”

They stared at each other and no one was more shocked than Noctis when he began to cry, big gulping tears. Ignis handed him a handkerchief and Noctis blew his nose. Ignis’s phone started to buzz but he did not answer.

“You’re gonna ignore Aranea?” Noctis asked incredulously.

“She blocked me.”

He crowed. “What happened?”

“Thank you for laughing at my pain.”

“You can handle it.” Noctis blew his nose again.

“She…was supposed to be in Australia.”

“Who were you fucking?”

“Who else?”

“Gladio? Oh my God. That’s where you got that black eye from. Textbook irony.”

“Noctis—”

“Fuck you, Ignis.” Noct left.

***

“Luna dumped me,” Noctis announced to his father without preamble.

“How’d you fuck that up?” Regis asked.

“Maybe because you got rid of Prompto? And she didn’t even like me without him? I thought you loved Prom like a son?” he said sarcastically. “You don’t love me very much, so I should have known you were lying.”

“Luna was weeping and wailing last time she was here. If you young people handled your business I wouldn’t have had to be a part of it. With all that social media—”

“I don’t have any social media, Dad. You’re too busy to know that your insults are worthless.”

“What? Wait, Prompto…left? I’m cutting his ass off if you’ll be wandering around here moping even more.”

“We know where I get my moping from. Maybe Mom was right. I should follow in her footsteps—”

Regis was more nimble than he appeared. He crossed his work desk and grabbed his son and raised his hand to him, then lowered it. “Yes, Noctis. I was a shitty husband and now I’m a shitty father.”

Noctis left without another word.

**

Ignis had a long workday and was relieved to be off. When he cracked open the door he hesitated. Someone was in his home. He pulled out his knife and crept in, silently.

“Hey!” Noctis said from behind him and Ignis jumped.

“I could have really hurt you,” he complained.

“You already did. You might as well cut me up too, asshole.”

“It was—”

“Whatever. You got rid of Prom. Here I am. Do what you want.”

“I am tired, Noct.”

“I don’t care, Ig.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No means no, Noctis.”

Quicker than he would have imagined, Noctis grabbed the knife by the handle. Ignis released it so he wouldn’t hurt him and Noct threw it down.

“On your knees,” Noctis said. Ignis obeyed. Noct caressed his jawline and then took off his glasses. He threw them on the floor and the crunch was satisfying.

Noctis pulled out his dick and it was half hard. Ignis swallowed him and Noctis hissed. He stuck his dick down Ignis’s throat and the sound of his own choking made Ignis hard himself. Noctis pushed him off and Ignis waited for a moment while Noct stomped around his pristine apartment, knocking some stuff down from the floor and his countertops. He looked in Ignis’s bathroom and bedroom.

“You know what I’m looking for,” Noct growled and Ignis didn’t answer. Noctis came back to him and they struggled for a moment before Noct sat on his stomach and elbowed him in the neck. It took him a moment to catch his breath while Noct manipulated Ignis’s long legs into position, pulling off his pants and balling them up. Noct spat on his hand and slicked it down Ignis’s ass and pushed in. Ignis screamed and held up a hand that Noct promptly stuck in his mouth, sucking on Ignis’s fingers. Ignis used his other hand to whack himself off. It didn’t take Ignis long to come and when Noct saw the cum on his stomach he was right after, burying his dick deep.

“You didn’t use lube. Or a condom,” Ignis said when Noctis dismounted.

“Come over later and punish me, then,” he said. He straightened himself up and left.

(USA, Present)

Olivia was ghosted again, this time by her best friend. Cindy didn’t answer Olivia’s phone calls or any social media messages. Because she hadn’t updated anything Olivia called Paw Paw to make sure she wasn’t lying in a country ditch somewhere.

“She’s alright, sweetie,” he answered sadly. “I’ll tell her ya called.” His voice was the only reason she didn’t rent a car to make the drive to her hometown.

***

Prompto came over and Olivia made him dinner. He was forcefully cheerful.

“Are you okay?” she asked him.

“Um. Cindy’s pregnant.”

The question was answered, full stop.

They were quiet for a while. Olivia said, “I’m not stupid. But I want you to say it.”

“I could be the dad?”

“That’s a question?” she asked loudly, or screamed. “You fucked my best friend without a condom?”

He hanged his head.

“So you guys were fucking this whole time…”

“It only happened once. At the cabin, after your birthday.”

“Oh.”

“She was going to wait to tell me until the baby got here and we could do a paternity test. But she needs help…”

“She’s staying at your place?” she almost screamed again. “I was just over there…”

“God, no,” he grimaced. “I got her a car after she crashed her truck and her grandpa told her she was about to be cut off.”

She was quiet for a while. “Have you told Noct?”

“No.”

***

“Prom, please stop,” Olivia texted in response to his multiple messages. She was tired. “I don’t want to have to block you.”

***

Olivia called Paw Paw again. They made small talk. She said, her voice as strong as possible, “Tell Cindy that I don’t care. I just want to see her.” From Paw Paw’s silence she could tell he knew what she meant.

But she never received a return call.

***

Three weeks later Prom picked Noct up at the airport as a surprise, giving him an exuberant kiss and insisting on carrying his carryon bags. Noct rolled his eyes but was in a good mood despite the long flight. He could tell Prom was manic and something was wrong. But he didn’t care to know right now. They took the train into the city, holding hands.

“We’re not going to your apartment?”

“Liv wanted to see you, she’s working late tonight.”

 

At the coffee shop Olivia hugged Noctis but she didn’t kiss him, he noticed.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“I missed you,” she said and then they all sat there, Prom tapping his foot and looking around. Noctis finally got it.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“Prom’s being a punk pussy,” she said.

“That’s not very feminist,” Prom joked.

She looked away. “You’re lucky I’m not a ghetto bitch, Prompto. Very lucky.”

“What?” Noctis asked. Prom ruffled his hair and looked like he was about to cry.

“Cindy’s pregnant,” he said.

“Wow.” Noctis said. “You knocked up her best friend? Classy.”

“Yup.”

“How…far along is she?”

“Five months.”

“Well, abortion’s out.”

“Yup.”

“Are you okay?” Noctis asked Olivia.

She shrugged.

“Wait, how long did you know?”

She shrugged again.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked Prom.

“I was gonna call you right after I told Liv, but she broke up with me,” he said. “And I didn’t want to listen to you run your mouth.”

“Look at Prom, talking like a local,” Olivia said.

“Why did you fuck everything up?” Noctis asked him.

Olivia stood. “I really don’t wanna rehash all this right now.” She fled, Noctis right behind her. He caught up with her outside. She buried her face in his chest.

“When did he tell you?”

“Two weeks ago.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Do you still even want me? Without him?”

“How can you even ask that?”

“Don’t get your girlfriend at home pregnant,” she whispered and stepped away to break his hold on her. “I have a work event tonight, I can’t get all crazy right now. I’ll see you tomorrow, or in a couple days. We can share custody of you, right?”

He brushed her cheek with his thumb and kissed her and she left.

 

He went back to the coffee shop. Prom looked at him hesitantly. Noct sat down. He knew all the things he should say, like how Prom will make a great father or hey, maybe the baby won’t be his, or if it is his how Noct will make a great step-father and maybe they’ll try to knock up Olivia and drive a fucking minivan and be the spokesfamily of the United Nations.

“Let’s go home,” he told Prom.

 

When they were in his apartment Noctis attacked him and they kissed, feverishly. They ran to his bedroom and Prom pulled him out of his clothes.

“Fuck me,” Noct demanded and Prom prepped him and then fucked him slowly with Noct on his back. Noct’s cock in his own hand, he was on the edge of an orgasm when Prom’s door buzzed. “Ignore it,” he panted but Prom dismounted and threw out the condom.

“It might be Liv,” he said and dressed quickly, adjusting himself.

Noct caught his breath while waiting. Poor Prom, thinking Olivia would come running back. He suddenly realized that was part of her appeal. How she didn’t really need either one of them…but then he remembered her vulnerability from earlier. “Fucking idiot,” he said aloud. He waited ten minutes in irritation and then got up and dressed.

When he came out fully clothed, Cindy was sitting in the living room, her eyes red, her stomach fucking huge.

“Hey, Noctis,” she said, hesitant.

Noct answered carefully, his hand extended, “Nice to see you again. Congratulations—on everything.”

She shook his hand and rushed out, “Can you tell Liv I’m sorry?”

“I can do that. Am I interrupting something?” This fetus was already ruining his fucking sex life.

“No…Well, my paw paw is in the hospital. They had to transfer him to the city. I’m taking a break from the hospital.”

“I’m sorry about that,” he said with the bare minimum of courtesy. “Well, Prompto, I’m jetlagged.”

“You’re not staying the night?” Prom looked alarmed.

“I don’t know yet.” His home training got the best of him and he turned back to Cindy. “Do you want me to tell Olivia about your grandpa? I don’t know if she’ll visit or anything…”

“Oh, I get it,” she said quickly. “Thank you, Noctis. I’d like that, a lot. He asked about her and I didn’t have nothing to say.”

 

Noctis wandered around outside and called Olivia. She didn’t answer but called him back five minutes later.

“Hi,” she said cheerfully.

“What are you doing?”

“Cleaning up after this damn work party.”

“Cindy’s grandpa is in the hospital.” _Smooth_.

She gasped but didn’t speak. “I’ll text Prom,” she finally answered. She won’t answer me.”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks, Noct.”

“When will I see you?”

“Tomorrow night?”

“Okay.”

“Love you,” she whispered and hung up, quickly. He felt uneasy. He believed her words, but they had sounded desperate. She sounded like Prom did, before he left his home and left them all and decided to fuck his way across America.

***

Olivia and Prom did an awkward custody arrangement in which Noct shuffled around, as best as he could. He missed the easy camaraderie of his last visits. Everywhere he went it seemed like things got fucked up. Noct held out for as long as he could but then he went through Olivia’s phone. He noticed a few messages of dick pics on her social media. She didn’t reply to any of them, but he noticed she didn’t delete them. He listened to a voicemail with some black dude complaining that she wouldn’t go out with him. He was so absorbed that he didn’t notice her return.

“So, my turn?” she asked. “Unlock your phone, you tool.”

He did so.

“You don’t even look guilty.” She scrolled around and then rolled her eyes. “I can’t read this. It’s in Japanese.”

“Why don’t Americans ever learn another language?”

“What else a body need but English and Spanish?” she deadpanned. “You jealous bitch.”

“You’ve been acting weird.”

“Because I lost my boyfriend and my best friend?”

“Are you going to break up with me?”

She deflected. “Why haven’t you invited me to your home?”

“To meet my family?”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m not trying to fuck up everything. I just want to know what you do with your life that’s not here.”

“It’s…complicated.”

“I don’t want to be in a complicated relationship.”

He stared at her and they didn’t speak. “One more for the road?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

 

This was really sad break up sex. Olivia sobbed after she came. She was limp as Noctis moved her away from the wet spot on the bed and got her something to clean up with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And in case it’s not painfully obvious, I’ve never been to any of these places besides *cue terry crews beastmaster chant* U! S! A! U!S!A! USA!USA! USA! Wheeeeeee! Trump tax breaks for everybody!!!!!!!


	4. The Holidays!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> porn with too much plot (to make the porn make sense)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Initiating dubiously plausible plotlines…

(Few years ago- present; USA)

Cindy counted the money on her bedspread as she listened to her Paw Paw’s music. She was two hundred bucks short of the needed four thousand for a half decent late model car. Olivia burst in wearing a sundress and smelling of cocoa butter.

“Money!” Liv twirled around and threw twenties in the air. “No need to work anymore, you made it!”

“I still need two hundred,” Cindy groaned.

“Two hunnerd?” Liv drawled. “I’m fixin’ to head into town on my horse—I can get you ya two hunnerd.”

“I have to earn it,” Cindy said. “I’m a hard worker, what you need done?”

“You can come with me to church—”

“Aww!” she groaned.

“You’re getting paid to go to church once? Seems like a pretty good deal.”

“No, I’d rather work for it.” Cindy pushed her to the bed and Liv laughed. “I’ll dance for it.”

“How…oh no, Cindy, not again. No means no, it don’t mean maybe.”

Cindy danced anyway, nearly knocking her elbows into her faded bureau.

“This bitch is really trying to dance to Johnny Cash? I weep for you.”

“If we have sex it doesn’t count if you leave your panties on,” she smirked.

“I’m not wearing any?”

“You’re not sure?” Cindy leaned over, showing off her cleavage. Liv bobbed her head in and motorboated her boobs, leaving Cindy laughing.

“I’m not eating you out,” Liv warned.

“You will next time,” Cindy said and pounced. They kissed for a long time, Cindy pulling down Liv’s dress to show off her pert breasts. Cindy rubbed Liv’s pussy through the dress until she pulled it up.

Olivia wore tiny bikini panties. Cindy moved them to the side and took a tentative swipe of her slit while Olivia twitched around quietly. Cindy licked again, and again, and Liv panted. She wiggled an index finger in Liv’s tight pussy and she came soon after, gasping out. Cindy threw off her shorts and thong while Liv pulled off her panties and spread her legs, her pussy glistening and Cindy sat down carefully, tangling her legs in Liv’s so she could set her pussy right on top of hers at a perfect angle. Her breasts bounced as she rode Liv and she came all over her while squeezing her breasts.

**

Cindy didn’t mean to have sex with Prom. But she was half hungover and he was charming and internet famous. They were at the damn cabin and she watched Prom handle everything like a seasoned pro. Until she saw him knock off an old dusty decorative plant on a side table, catch it, and then almost knock it off again. He noticed Cindy smirking after he carefully backed away.

“Smooth,” she said.

“Always,” he said and wandered away.

She texted a friend who lived nearby. She needed to get away, quick.

In her quest to avoid him she ran into him in the hallway. They bumped up against each other and she felt him brush against her nipples. There was something about his eyes.

“You’re an asshole,” she blurted out and then pressed up against him and kissed him. She had to force his mouth open with her tongue, and then suddenly, he got into it.

“You have anything?” she panted.

“No, I—”

“Just pull out, you’re good at that, right?” She pushed him into the back mudroom and got on top of him on an old couch that smelled of mothballs. She pushed him inside her and then rode him, glancing outside the window. No one around.

“Slap my ass,” she told him after a few minutes and he did so, hard, and she came. He flipped her over to her back and grabbed her ankles and fucked her. She studied his face and his eyes were screwed shut. She stopped him, and he fucked her from the back and that was better, she didn’t have to look at his traitorous face. At one point she wondered why she was down there, getting fucked, and then it started to come and she screamed as she exploded and felt the wetness of Prom’s come on her thighs. He sure was a gentleman.

A horn honked outside and Cindy gathered herself. “Keep your mouth shut,” she told him and booked it outside to her friend’s SUV.

**

Cindy knew she was pregnant at two months but waited to tell Prompto or Olivia. Then she got scared when she started to show at four months, and stopped talking to her friend. She tried to analyze it again and again in her head. The last time she’d let a dude have sex with her without a condom was when she was a teenager and too stupid to know any better. She couldn’t believe it.

And then she wrecked her truck, and she and her grandpa got in a fight, and then he was in the hospital, and then it was the holidays, and everything was just…really confusing.

**

She knew where Prompto lived and she stopped by in her grandpa’s truck.

The moment he opened the door and looked down at her he knew.

“Yup,” he said inanely, and she followed him in. She sat on his couch.

“Can you tell Liv for me?” she said without preamble.

“Tell her…what exactly?” he logged out his playstation and sat in his armchair and put his hand to his forehead.

She ignored the question. “I’m pretty sure it’s yours but we’ll do a paternity test and everything after it’s here.”

“Do you know if it’s a boy or girl?”

“I don’t wanna know.”

“Fuck. I mean…I pulled out. I’m great at pulling out, I do it for a living.”

“I know. I’m sorry, I was gonna wait to tell you and maybe pull a strand of hair out of your comb or whatever to make sure, but I fucked up. I need a car to keep this shitty job and I wrecked mine—”

“How much do you need?”

“My paw paw can get me one for a couple grand, it should get me through the winter—”

“You want my car?”

“I can’t do that, I need it for work—”

“I’m serious, you can have it. I’ll get a new one.”

Cindy burst into tears. “I—can’t believe I’m pregnant!” she wailed.

“It’s okay…” he said and put his arm around her. “I’m fucked,” he added.

“I know. I haven’t talked to Liv in a while…”

“I know.”

“Is she…sad?”

“Nope, she’s ecstatic.”

“She’s my only real friend in the world,” she said hollowly.

“You think she’ll get over it?” he asked with forced cheer.

She laughed until she cried again.

***

(Present, USA)

Olivia and Noctis broke up. And then…he didn’t leave. A week ticked by, then another. He did nothing but play League of Legends on her laptop and sleep. She caught him right after a game (defeat!)  and shut her laptop while it was on his lap, and moved the mouse and cereal box he was using as a mousepad.

“Rude,” he said.

“I like having you here,” she said honestly. “But are you ever going home?”

“Yeah.”

“Your phone has been off for days.”

“Who’s checking?” he grunted.

“Don’t you have people worried about you?”

“I’m here to help with the baby.”

“Hm, that’s funny, I’ve seen no baby help.”

“That’s women’s work…ouch! Okay. I’ll buy some stuff.”

“And are you gonna clean up after yourself? I’m not your housewife.”

“I’ll be your house husband and hire a maid.”

“I don’t want a maid. That’s elitist.”

“You mean you can’t afford it.”

“Do you get off on having everybody cater to you?”

“Don’t get mad because I’m the king.” He sat with his legs wide open and tucked the back of his hands behind his head.

“You fucking pig,” she said.

“Call me that again and see what happens,” he said lazily but she knew at that moment to be on alert.

“You fucking pig,” she said and he unfolded himself off the couch and launched himself towards her. “Stop wrastling me!”

“It’s _wrestle_ , sweetheart.”

She couldn’t help herself. She fucked him, real good.

 

Noctis took Olivia out to eat and as they were finishing up Prom and a Latina with a coke bottle body strolled in. Prom looked shocked to see them and then his face smoothed over into his screen presence.

“I didn’t know you were still in town,” Prom said. When the brunette wasn’t introduced she wandered away to the bar.

Olivia took a sip of her drink.

“I missed my flight,” Noct told Prom.

Prom ignored him and addressed Olivia. “You look beautiful.”

“As do you,” she replied and drained her glass.

**

During Olivia’s quiet morning hour at work she paid her bills online, including rent, and saved the worst for last: her ten thousand dollar salliemae student loan. The final summit to be climbed before an ecstatically debt free life. She was prepared to make her monthly $400 payment (a while ago Cindy had made yet another tasteless joke about student loan interest raping the people and so Liv had quadrupled her repayment amount that very month). Olivia stared at the screen for a long time and was only roused by an explosion of laughter from the next room. She texted Noct. _So I guess you’re never moving out._ He replied hours later, at noon. _Who dis._ She laughed until she cried and then said, _why did you pay off my student loan._ He said, _I didn’t._ She said, _FUCK U._ He said, _tonight._

 

When she got home from work she was prepared to have Noctis tear off her clothes. Instead there were two strange men at her kitchen table. They stood hastily when she entered. One was so debonair and the other so muscular they were caricatures. Both were ridiculously handsome. Noctis was on the couch lying down like an invalid. He looked at her and placed a sofa pillow over his face.

“Good! Whoever y’all are, take his ass away,” she said and stepped out her wedges. “He won’t leave my couch.” She rummaged in her fridge for a beer, peeking in at the paper bags from Whole Foods on her countertop. She knew sure as shit that Noctis hadn’t done any shopping. “He orchestrated this so I wouldn’t have time to yell at him tonight and ask him who the hell he really is. I’ve done extensive research. If y’alls in the yakuza, I don’t know nothing.”

“Miss Olivia…” the one with glasses said. “He said he can’t leave.”

She rolled her eyes and couldn’t find a bottle opener, the one with a magnet that she consistently kept on the fridge door, grown ass woman that she was. “Noct!” she shouted.

“Here.” The big one took the bottle and opened it for her.

“You must come in handy, you big, tall…man,” she finished lamely. These dudes smelled _good._ She asked Noctis, “Why do these guys look like this?”

“I only interact with the best.” He sat up and grabbed his phone and there was a brief silence.

“Olivia, there is a question of the baby,” the man with glasses said and stared pointedly at her drink and she finally got it.

“Ohhh,” she said and glanced at Noct. He smirked. Thank goodness she had worn a baby doll dress today with leggings. “Beer’s good for babies. It’s the liquor and wine you have to stay away from.”

The big one snorted.

“Who _are_ y’all?” she demanded again.

“My apologies. I am Ignis and this is Gladiolus.”

“Gladio,” he said.

“Y’all not from around here, huh.” She laughed and Noctis rolled his eyes. “I’m only a couple months along. I’ve already cut out the pills and coke.” She sat next to Noctis and put her feet in his lap. “I would also appreciate it if y’all didn’t look so horrified. This is my third baby, I know what I’m doing.”

This was the first time she saw Noctis laugh so hard that he fell over.

Gladio told Ignis, “I told you. All that trauma made him sick in the head.”

Ignis said in clipped words, “I’ll be making dinner tonight.”

“I wanted some chicken fried steak,” Noctis whined from the floor. “It’s half off tonight.”

“You remembered!” Olivia was pleased. “I don’t think he’s ever heard of a budget.”

“The food here is atrocious,” Ignis glowered.

“Noct loves the food ‘round these parts!” Olivia protested.

“That is _not_ a compliment,” he replied tersely.

“Are you calling me a fat American?” Olivia stood, lifted her dress and poked her flat belly. Gladio glanced at Ignis and whispered something. Both men literally collapsed back in their chairs at the table. “These guys are assholes,” she told Noctis.

“You’re telling me,” he muttered.

Ignis leaped back up and bustled around in her kitchen. “How wonderful, you have a cast iron skillet,” he said lightly.

“Welcome to the South. We are known for guns and skillets.” As he puttered around she said slyly, “Noct made a rule here. You can only cook naked.”

He sighed deeply but said mildly, “That’s dangerous.”

“That’s what I said!”

“So Prom’s the one who knocked a lady up?” Gladio asked. Ignis dropped something in the kitchen. Olivia ran to her bedroom to change into different leggings and an oversized shirt. And then she changed into an even tighter pair of camouflage leggings that had been a gift from Cindy and a tank top. She waited for Noct to come in and tell her what the fuck was going on, but he didn’t. After a while she wandered back to the living room and sat on her couch and played with her phone.

She made eye contact with the one named Ignis and she wanted to flee, but she was home. Instead she got up and got drinks to go with the water already setting out while Ignis dished up the plates. She got Noctis a sprite and then grabbed a few more for the rest of the table.

“Wanna pop?” she asked Ignis and gestured to the canned drinks.

Ignis wrinkled his nose. “Pop?” he asked.

“Oh dear, silly me,” she purred. “I meant carbonated beverage.”

“Please.”

“You don’t get one,” she said flatly and handed one to Gladio who smirked.

“Why does anyone live here?” Ignis asked her pleasantly.

“There’s a plethora of…things to do!”

“Like what?”

“They put in a bounce house. It’s a twenty-minute drive away.”

“What’s a bounce house?”

She stared at him.

“It’s a place where you jump on trampolines and stuff,” Gladio said.

They finished dinner in awkward silence.

“We’ll stop by Prom’s place tomorrow,” Gladio finally said.

“Maybe he doesn’t want to see you guys,” Noctis said.

They sat there at the table.

“How long will y’all be in town?” she asked conversationally.

“We’re going home the week after the New Year,” Gladio said.

Another silence. Olivia cleared her throat and said pointedly, “Where will y’all be staying tonight?”

Ignis looked startled. “Oh. My apologies.” His lip curled up. “We are staying at…the holiday inn nearby.”

“Gross!” she said sarcastically.

“I know.” He nodded.  

And everyone got up (including Olivia) but Noctis.

“I’m gonna stay here tonight,” he mumbled.

Olivia closed her eyes. And then remembered the ten thousand dollars, and her eyes opened.

“O-kay,” Gladio said.

“I can clean up—” Ignis said.

“Don’t worry about it.” She waved them off and Gladio and Ignis hustled out the door.

“If I fuck your friends will you leave?” she asked him, and sat down again at the table.

“Why should I care, we’re not together,” he said and looked at his phone.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

He went on as if she never spoke. “I’d suggest you stay away from Ignis, though. You have to graduate to him.”

“The one who _cooked us dinner?”_

He smirked.

“What about the other one? Does the big dude have a big one?” she gestured, demonstrating girth with two hands and demonstrating the length by holding her hands about a foot apart.

“You should ask him.”

“We’re gonna pretend that you don’t know how big his dick is?”

He ducked his head and grinned.

“Why don’t they know that it’s Prom having the baby?” she grimaced and said, “I mean, it might be his baby on the way?”

He shrugged.

“That guy is an ass,” Olivia said. “Ignis is, I mean.”

“The lady doth protest too much.”

“I only went to public school, is that something Obama said once?”

“What did I tell you about talking back to me?” Noctis said.

“If something happens to me I’ve set it up so everyone knows it was you.”

He laughed. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“So you’re implying you would do it to someone you didn’t like?”

“What?”

“Are you gonna tell me anything?”

“What?”

“So, are they your friends? Your bosses? Are they gonna kill me in the middle of the night as I lay sleeping?”

“Lie sleeping,” he said. “I’m going to bed.”

“Here? On the couch?” she pointed.

He answered by being in her bed when she exited the bathroom after brushing her teeth. He was hard and he put her hand on it.

“What am I supposed to do with this?” she turned away from him, but he spooned her, his hardon poking insistently. He kissed the back of her neck and his hand wandered over her ass, tickled her thigh gap and caressed her wet pussy.

“What did I tell you about going to bed naked?” he told her. She heard him mess with something that sounded like foil and after a moment he moved in her, grabbing her arm when she tried to move away. She moaned and he moved slowly, his breath hitching only once and then he stopped and pulled out. “I’m tired.”

“You are the laziest person I ever met,” she grumbled but she did what he wanted and got on top of him. She proceeded to fuck him until she quickly reached orgasm and she was surprised when he got back on top of her, stuck his fingers in her mouth, and grabbed both legs so he sat on her overstimulated g-spot and she screamed for him and he came. He stumbled to her bathroom and came back and draped a baby wipe over her stomach.

He spoke as if each word was a burden. “Where we’re from…it’s small. And when you’re in, you’re in, and the stakes change. But when you’re out, the magic is gone and you have to start over. Prom started over.”

Noctis was sad so she cuddled him and he fell asleep pressed against her, his phone face up on the bedside table. She watched it light up, on silent. Prom. She answered, untangled enough to reach for it.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey.”

In the silence she asked awkwardly, “How’s Cindy?”

“She’s great.”

“Why won’t she see me?”

His voice dipped. “She wants to wait and meet up when she’s hot again.”

“Nuh uh.”

“I heard her,” he insisted.

“You okay?” She heard him breathe. “I tried to ask Noct about it. I didn’t know you didn’t know he was still in town.”

“He won’t come over.”

“Yeah and he mopes around here.”

“He always pouts, that’s nothing new.”

“Noctis is the star of the show!” she said loudly and poked him but he didn’t answer, sleeping deeply.

“Ye-es,” Prom muttered.

“So. What about your other boyfriends?”

“ _What_?” he said.

“Well, that just confirmed it.”

He sighed deeply. “What are you talking about, Olivia?”

“The two dudes. Are they his bodyguards? And why do they look so perfect? I can’t die yet, Prom. I have to make it to Paris.”

“I flew twenty hours to get away from these dipshits.”

“Yeah, and they must really love you to… _deign_ to hang out with us country folk.”

“Ah, so you met Ignis.”

“And Gladio.”

“Yup.”

“Are you going to see them? It was kinda awkward in here.”

“What do they know?”

“Apparently, nothing. They thought I was the pregnant one, though.”

“Who told them you were pregnant?”

“Probably Noct. He’s been bragging about his baby help. The big one said you weren’t answering your phone.”

“I didn’t know they were here. Jeeze.”

******

The next evening Ignis and Gladio showed up, unannounced, but Prom didn’t look surprised to see them. They exchanged greetings and wandered through his living room.

“I never got to apologize last time you were home,” Ignis said stiffly. He wanted to add something about the state of Prom’s apartment, but he didn’t.

Prom ignored him. “Hey, big guy,” he addressed Gladio. “I knocked up my friend Cindy, she’ll be here pretty soon.”

“Yeah?” Gladio attempted to look unruffled. “Congratulations?”

“Can you do me a giant favor?”

“What?”

“Can you try to fuck her? I don’t think it’ll take much effort.”

After a long pause he answered, “What does she look like?”

“Blonde, stacked, and, you know, pregnant.”

“I’ll do anything for a friend.”

Prom jerked his chin towards the door. “Come on, Ignis,” he said.

**

Cindy drove to Prom’s after her doctor’s appointment and some much needed shopping for baby stuff. She had some five hundred cash as a thank you for the car. She knocked on the door and a Greek god answered.

“Hi Cindy!”

“Hi?” she walked in. Damn it, if she had met this dude a year ago…

“I’m Prom’s friend. Gladio.”

“You work in porn, too?” she blurted out before she could stop herself.

“Thanks for thinking that, but no. I’ve just known him a long time. Do you want something to drink? I don’t know how long he’ll be…”

“I’ll take some water with ice, if you don’t mind.”

“Yeah, of course. Do you want some lemonade, too?”

“Ah, what a gentleman.”

“How much sugar do you want?”

“Whatever you think is too sweet? Double that, and it should be good.”

They touched fingers when he gave her the drink and she had to hold onto it with both hands to keep from throwing it to the side and begging for him to fuck her silly.

“You know…Gladio? I’m gonna get on outta here. Thanks for the drink, and can you give Prom…” she pawed through her purse for her wallet and she pulled out the wad of cash and set it on the coffee table.

“What’s the rush?” Gladio asked pleasantly.

“Um…peanut keeps kicking.” She patted her belly.

“Can I?” he held up his hands and she wondered what it would be like to stuff those fingers down her throat while he fingered her.

She stepped closer and his hands engulfed her belly.

“You always this polite or do you got some kinda fetish?” she asked suspiciously.

“Does it matter?” he beamed his kilowatt smile. “But no, I’ve never rubbed a pregnant woman’s belly.”

Cindy wasn’t used to asking for permission. But she was at this dude’s mercy and she was _so fucking horny._

“Prom and me aren’t together,” she said, and waited.

“Does that mean…” he held up his hand and pulled her on his lap. She was top heavy but he opened his legs so she sat on him easily, sprawled on the couch. He rubbed her thighs while he nuzzled her neck. He was so big and peaceful, like a mountain.

“I’m not in town for very long,” he whispered.

“Well shit, I was looking for a step daddy for the baby,” she whispered back and he chuckled. He lifted her up without a hint of strain, and he carefully carried her to Prom’s back room. She gave him head so she could get a good look at his dick. It was massive in every way and immediately wore out her jaw. He petted her hair. It took them a while to get in position but they ended up lying side by side with Gladio poking his sheathed dick into her from behind. He was gentle but she took him all, slowly and he sat on her g-spot while she melted around him.

“Your ass…” he moaned and squeezed it.

“Slap it,” she ordered and he did, not too hard but not soft either, and he squeezed and it turned her on to realize she’d have a bruise even if it would take forever to get the right angle to admire it.

**

Ignis and Prom walked through a nearby park and sat on a bench.

“It smells funny out here,” Ignis complained, instead of asking about Prompto’s baby.

“Fresh air, you mean? Wait here, I’ll get us some ice cream. Do you still like chocolate, plain and boring?”

“And I’m sure you’ll get a giant sundae with everything on it? For your insatiable appetite?” Ignis watched him walk away and return quickly with the treats.

“Not half bad,” Ignis admitted after a bite.

“Yeah.” Prom got a sprinkle on the side of his lip and Ignis moved it. He sucked the sprinkle off his thumb absent mindedly. He was surprised when Prom grabbed the rest of his dessert.

“Come on.” Prom threw away their half-eaten ice cream and Ignis waited outside while Prompto stopped at a convenience store. They wandered to a little white church on a street corner.

“Christianity has single handedly destroyed the world,” Ignis said at the Baptist sign.

“Thanks Mr. Protestant,” Prom smirked. He broke in through a back door and Ignis followed. They walked through the dimly lit church.

“They don’t have cameras?”

“Nope. I tried to get Liv to fuck me here once, but she’s too religious.”

“Olivia?”

“Yeah.”

“So Noctis took her from you?”

Prompto snorted. “Cindy is her…friend.”

“Hm.”

Prompto slid in at a back pew and Ignis sat next to him. “Yes, I got her pregnant. But technically that was Noct’s fault too, it wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t spun some bullshit about you guys needing help at home.”

Ignis ignored the logic failure on Prom’s part. “When do I ever need help?”

“I know.”

“What are we doing here, Prompto?”

“Did you know that Aranea got married?”

“I know, Prompto.”

“Did you know I fucked her brains out?”

“Somehow I doubt that. Actually—never mind. I know how talented you are in that department.”

“How did you know about that?”

“About things on the internet?  Really?”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I saw it on Noct’s phone so I changed my IP address to get your…collection,” he suddenly admitted.

“Ignis whacking off to _moi?”_ he asked.

Ignis changed the subject. “When were you sleeping with Aranea?”

“Does it matter? She’s a married lady, now, Ignis.”

He changed the subject again. “What are you going to do about this…baby?”

“What everyone else does when they have a baby? Take care of it, kinda, and then it’ll grow up, and then it’ll resent me and Cindy. Anyway, keep your fingers crossed, it might not be mine.”

“Why do I have a feeling you would be disappointed if it was not?”

“We don’t have time for your psychobabble, Ignis.” He looked around the sanctuary. “Or maybe we do.” He hesitated. “Do you…like me, Ignis?”

Ignis was surprised at the question. “Of course I do. When you left—I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“I went to your place and I was gonna beat you up. But then I got drunk and saw Aranea at the bar and we fucked instead. What happened, Ignis? She wouldn’t say.”

“She caught me cheating on her.”

“We catch the worst luck, don’t we?”

Ignis smirked at him and Prompto ducked his head closer. “Ignis,” he whispered. “You never wanted me?”

“You were…Noct’s. And too young—”

“I’m not too young, now.”

“I…” Ignis touched his forehead and tried to think of something to say. Prompto sighed and stood up and Ignis reached out and grabbed his hand. Prompto sat down again, closer to him and nudged him with his forehead until Ignis raised his lips and they kissed, Prompto eventually crawling on him and straddling him. Ignis cupped the back of his neck and Prom whined against his mouth and then slid off and moved to unzip Ignis’s pants but he stopped him.

“We can’t do this here,” Ignis admitted. _Jesus is watching us._ And then he thought, _Isn’t Jesus watching you all the time? While you’re sleeping, eating, fucking?_  

“Does that mean you want to do it somewhere else?”

Ignis whispered, “Yes.”

 

At Ignis’s hotel suite Prompto showered. When he got out Ignis pulled him to the bed and took away his towel. Prompto was used to people staring at him but it was different with Ignis, who knew him, loved him, hurt him.

They kissed again, Ignis trailing his fingers all over Prom’s body. He squirmed but didn’t laugh and he jerked up when Ignis grabbed his hard dick.

“I bought…stuff,” he moaned.

“I found it when I went through your jeans.” Ignis whispered on his neck.

“What else did you find?” Prom panted.

“I never did figure out your passcode so I could look through your phone.”

“I learned the hard way to be careful.”

“But I did look at your American ID. You are not five foot ten.”

“I got confused, I’m used to the metric system.”

Ignis whispered, “I want to fuck you, Prompto.”

He shuddered in answer. Ignis licked Prom’s neck, sucked on his nipples, licked the grooves of his taut stomach, and then finally sucked on his dick while Prom writhed around. Ignis pinned him a few times and they rutted against each other, Ignis almost coming although fully clothed. He made Prom bend over on the bed against the pillows. He ate out Prom’s ass while he fingered him and then slicked him up and pulled on a condom. Prompto took him without complaint and wrapped a fist around his own dick. Ignis wrapped his hands in Prom’s hair and pressed his face against Prom while Prom arched his back and came, loudly and Ignis came with a quiet groan right after.

**

(Christmas!!!!!)

Olivia was afraid to ask Noctis what his Christmas plans were. One night after work she got home to see a giant tree and tons of presents under it.

“Who is this for?”

“The orphans, who else?”

“You didn’t wrap these.”

“This place only has one gift wrapping store. It took them forever.”

“The South is like a third world country. Who decorated the tree?”

“I did.” He sounded very insulted, so she knew he was lying.

“Why do you lie all the time?”

“It’s easier. Alright, I paid some kid to do it.”

“Why are you doing all this?”

“Any other boyfriend you get will never be able to measure up.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Ready to go?”

“Noct, I’m tired.”

“Let’s go. Put on some panties, we have to go see someone.”

At the restaurant Noctis got her a beer and then disappeared. She scanned the room for him until she saw her friend Cindy. She waved and Cindy waved back and made her way to her. Liv stood as she approached and they stood there awkwardly for a moment.

“You fat bitch,” Liv finally said and they hugged each other, the baby belly getting in the way.

“Do you hate me?” Cindy asked as they sat down.

“Just a little bit.”

“I know. I’m awful.”

“Is this…”

“What?”

“Did you ever fuck Duncan?” she rushed out.

“College Duncan? Hell no. Liv, wait. I have an apology for you.” She searched around her purse and then moaned. “This damn pregnancy brain. I can’t find it. Okay, I’ll try to remember…I didn’t think he’d be around for long? Prom, I mean? I dunno. I couldn’t tell you. I was ashamed. I mean, I know you know I fuck a lot of dudes but he’s the only one I didn’t use anything with. And then I needed help with the truck, and y’know Paw Paw’s just on social security and a few oil royalties, he’s clearing money but putting it all back in the damn farm, and I was just so embarrassed and so I couldn’t say anything and I just waited. And I thought I’d get rid of it, but I waited, and then I didn’t. So here I am.” She slumped forward.

“Are you guys together?”

“God, no. He’s not my type. Which is also weird, I dunno how it all happened.”

“You know this kid will either be really ugly or look like a Nazi posterchild.”

“The blond and the beautiful.” Cindy laughed. “Or…This baby could come out literally any race on the planet.”

“That’s what you call progressivism, babe.”

Cindy looked at her in horror and they laughed together.

“What are we gonna do now?” Liv asked.

“I’ll watch you get wasted, you’ll call me a few names, and then we act like I didn’t fuck your boyfriend and get pregnant?”

“That sounds about right.”

**

Cindy and Prom spent the night at Liv’s on Christmas Eve. Liv gave up her bed and after Noct’s bitching he made a pallet for them. Prom proceeded to get wasted and smoke a ton of pot and then passed out under the tree, so Liv crawled in with Cindy and they spooned. She woke to Cindy poking her.

“Is that fried chicken?” Cindy whispered loudly.

“You’re just hungry…wait, yeah, I do smell chicken!”

Cindy was more nimble than she appeared and she jumped up, Liv right behind her, and they raced to the living room to see nirvana: Ignis frying chicken at nine in the morning.

After breakfast they opened presents. Prom crawled into Liv’s bed to sleep off his hangover. Cindy gave her an Adventure Time box set; Liv gave her an expensive stroller. “Noctis paid for it,” she said when Cindy looked at her, eyes wide. Noctis gave Cindy Prom’s gift in a huge shoebox that included about twenty gift cards. Cindy left after hugging everyone.

“Alright!” Noctis announced gleefully and started handing over presents: a huge laptop (for Noct to use, she was sure); a four foot tall stuffed teddy bear; books, books and more books; the newest iPhone; exactly ten pairs of stockings, all individually wrapped; and alcohol.

She gave him a giant kiss and watched the surprise on Ignis and Gladio’s face as she gave them their gifts. “Don’t get too excited,” she warned. Ignis held up a tie emblazoned with the American flag. “I saw it and thought: Ignis,” she said, staring right at him. For Gladio a piece of paper that said _One free massage._ “That expires pretty soon,” she said. “And it will be supervised,” Noct added.

“For the man who has everything,” Liv intoned and gave Noctis his gift, a hard copy of FFVII.

“RPGs are boring,” he announced. “And who is this blond chick on the cover?”

“His name is Cloud and he’s a very important character!” Liv said heatedly.

After breakfast she was drunk by noon and gave Prom his gift, a box of condoms, before taking a nap herself. When she awoke to get water, Noctis was sleeping too and everyone was gone.

**

The week after Christmas Olivia had to cover for her boss for a very important meeting that had been moved up unexpectedly. She read the forty thousand emails, text messages and various messages (delivered to her via coworkers) from her boss who had lost her voice. Olivia was her _best employee_ and Boss Lady knew she could _count on Liv_ to seal the American contract with this international nonprofit.

In preparation for the meeting Liv hiked up her skirt and swapped out her wedges for her black fuck-me stilettos she kept at work. She had to impress this dude. The receptionist said that the client was present and Liv showed up to take him to their classiest conference room.

“Hello! Ms. Fleuret,” she chirped.

“Call me Luna, Olivia,” she answered and looked her up and down.

_Fuck me, I’m screwed._ “Right this way…I would like to apologize on behalf of the firm, my boss is sick—”

“Don’t worry about it,” Luna said graciously. “Do you mind if I just jump on in?”

“Of course.”

They were quiet for a minute and then Luna spoke. “With the charity...my parents used to bridge any fiscal shortfall with their own money, but everything has been tapped. I was hoping to bolster our American nonprofits and use that excess for our other locations.”

“Based on our research, the reason it’s been hard to break into new markets is because the name isn’t memorable. Landing large donors and cultivating small donations is difficult. Helping People Who Need Help just doesn’t have a catchy ring to it, and neither does the acronym HPWNH.” Liv handed her the portfolio. “We can go over the social media plan, if you’d like…”

“Nope, I got it. We’ll stick with you guys.”

“You’re not going to interview a few more firms?”

“Why should I?” Luna said imperiously and Liv grinned. “If your boss is recovered by Friday I would like to meet with her before signing the contract. I know how this works. They send out someone beautiful to make the hard sell.”

“I thought you were going to be your dad,” Liv admitted.

“Of course you did. I didn’t bother to correct anyone. They treat you differently if you’re a man.”

“I thought we were living in a post gender society?”

“Yes, and don’t you love this post racial society we’re in?” Luna laughed. “Are you working Friday?”

“All day.”

“See you around.” Luna stood and left.

She missed seeing Luna on Friday but later that afternoon she found a bouquet of flowers on her desk. She didn’t think Noct sent them. Blue cornflowers were too subtle.

**

“You’re not going to invite me to your work party?” Noctis was insulted.

“How do you know about that?” Olivia asked.

“Why do you still ask me that?”

“You’re worse than a woman.”

“What a disgusting thing to say.”

“You think being a woman is disgusting?”

“Are you on your period? You’re acting like it.”

“Apparently you’d know before I did.”

“So am I going or not? I plan on getting wasted and embarrassing you in front of everyone.”

She sighed. “Okay.”

**

(New Year’s Eve.)

When she got out the shower she glanced at Noctis and then stopped in amazement.

“You own a suit?” she asked.

“I own a hundred suits,” he said in that tone where she could never tell if he was lying or not.

“You look like Keanu Reeves.”

He grimaced. “You look like Beyonce.”

“Well I guess we both just learned our lesson.”

“Are you just going to stand there in your bath towel?”

“You distracted me,” she complained. When she went to her closet and turned around with her work appropriate but flirty party dress Noct was on the bed watching her and she jumped again. “Jesus, you know I hate it when you do that.”

He grabbed her and he ate her out until she came and then he told her that he’d fuck her real good after the party. They pregamed a bit and then headed out, Noct driving.

“You’re my friend, Noctis. I will introduce you to everyone as my friend.”

“I got that the first ten times you told me,” he complained.

 

“Her house is fucking huge,” Liv said as it came into view. This was the first time her boss invited her over.

“I’ve seen bigger,” Noct said dismissively.

“That’s what she said,” Liv said.

As soon as they got to the party she made a beeline for the bathroom and ran into Luna in the hallway.

“Hey!” Luna seemed pleased to see her.

“Hey! I guess my boss wanted to schmooze some more?”

“Yeah, but she’s not doing very well. She already tried to hit on my boyfriend. She’s drunk.”

“Oh yeah, she told everyone at work she wasn’t going to drink tonight. That’s disappointing.”

“I’ll wait for you,” Luna gestured to the bathroom and Liv ran in. When she got out they pranced through the party, her boss drunkenly giving her a too-long hug, and she chatted with the guests. She didn’t notice Noctis stalking her way until she heard Luna say, “Noct?”

Liv looked up and Noctis said, “Where is he?” and he was looking at Luna who blushed and looked around and seized on Olivia.

“We gotta get out of here,” she whispered loudly and pulled Liv away. Liv looked back and Noctis stood there, frowning, looking…angry and sad. “The coats!” Luna said, and they rushed to a bedroom.

“You know Noctis?” she asked Luna.

“Wait…you know Noctis?” Luna asked Olivia.

“He’s my friend!” she said stupidly, and they looked at each other.

“Do you know Prom?” Luna asked.

“He’s my…other friend,” she said.

Luna was about to speak but they heard a commotion.

“Oh no,” Luna said, and they rushed back out the coat room sans coats. Noct was fighting some dude in the middle of the spacious living room.

“Your boyfriend?” Liv asked. Neither woman moved as the men squared off and exchanged hits and feints. “I’m totally getting fired,” she said until her boss rushed in and with a peal of laughter started taking bets. “Or getting a raise?” she shrugged.

“It’s a long story,” Luna finally said.

“I bet,” Liv said. “You’re the girlfriend from Japan. I got it. I’m…gonna get outta here.”

“Don’t,” Luna said. “This won’t last long.”

“It’s New Year’s Eve, there’s an uber two minutes away. Um, it was nice seeing you Luna.”

Luna hesitated. “Have a good night, Olivia.”

**

After the fight was broken up by the boss’s husband Luna grabbed her man.

“Nyx, let me talk to him for a minute.”

“You’re gonna go back to him!” he whined.

She was expecting him to be mad, not petulant. She laughed. “Why would I do that?”

“Because you’re poor and he’s rich.”

She laughed again. “Do you think I’m that shallow after this long?”

He looked at her and pouted. “Yes?”

“Go home, Nyx. Let me talk to him.”

“I don’t wanna.”

“Do you trust me?”

“No?”

She kissed his bloody mouth. “Now do you believe me?”

He rubbed the blood from her lip.

“Alright,” he muttered. “Why can’t I wait for you out in the car—”

“So you can fight outside in this weather?”

“Ugh,” he said.

 

Noctis was celebrating with Olivia’s boss and spouse. Luna wasn’t sure what about, the fight had seemed evenly matched. They were taking vodka shots. Noctis noticed her and grabbed the bottle and headed her way.

“Where’s Liv?” he asked.

“What are you doing here?”

“Me? I’m living life. What are you doing here?”

“Trying to preserve my parent’s legacy.”

He opened his mouth and she waited to hear him say something sarcastic, but he didn’t.

She continued, “This was like two years ago, why are you acting like a child?”

“You’re the one who cheated on me because you wanted some dude to worship you.”

“You know what? You’re right. I had to get my own Prom.”

“Prom,” he said hollowly.

“What’s wrong? I’ve only seen you look like that…”

“He…got someone pregnant.” He took a swig from the bottle and handed it off to someone walking by.

“Ohh,” she said. “That’s…awful.”

“It might not be his, though.”

“It probably is, though,” she said lightly, and he smirked at her.

“Thanks for that,” he said. “So…I’m here…and you’re here. So why don’t we…” he hugged her and twirled her around and she danced out of his orbit.

“You punched Nyx in the face. You’re lucky I’m talking to you at all.”

“I better go get that bottle back,” he muttered.

She waited while he hunted down another clear liquor and then they went to a back room. She sat on the couch, Noctis sat too close to her, and then she moved to an armchair before she could inhale too much of his scent.

“My life is fucked,” Noct announced.

“No, it’s not. You’re just spoiled.”

“So are you.”

“Yeah, but I’ve done a lot of growing in the past two years, Noct. Maybe you should, too.”

“Teach me, oh wise one.”

“You’re not my problem anymore, Noct. How do you know Olivia?”

“She’s my American girlfriend. Oh wait. She broke up with me like a long time ago.”

“And where is she now?”

“Why should I know?”

“You have problems. Dumb, petty, problems. Fix it and move on with your life.”

“Wow. You should be a motivational speaker.”

“Where is Prom, Noct?”

“Why the fuck would he be here?” Another drink.

“You know what I mean. Why didn’t you go get him after we broke up?”

“I did! Why else would I be here? These people aren’t civilized.”

“Says the dude who’s drunk and started a fight in his girlfriend’s boss’s house.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Is that what you told Prom while we were together?”

“Touché.”

She was shaking as she ran through the emotions of the last years, again. “Are you listening?”

Silence.

She got up to go.

“I’m listening. Sorry.” His voice was thick, but it wasn’t whiny.

She grabbed the bottle from him and took a swig to fortify herself. “I’ve known you my whole life, Noct. And I don’t think you can love anyone more than Prom. So stop bullshitting around and playing with people. And I can tell you that if you had done what you should have Prom wouldn’t have a baby on the way.”

“And? There’s always an and,” Noct said courteously.

“You should be grateful that I’m not crazy and didn’t try to destroy your life after you destroyed mine. And you should be happy that I found someone I love more than you.”

Noctis stood and bowed to her, deeply. She bowed back and called her own uber, hiding from her ex who proceeded to rejoin the party and get shitfaced.

**

While in the uber Liv typed out and deleted multiple messages to Prom. And then she called him. He answered immediately, and his voice sounded hoarse.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Nothing important.”

“Can I come over?”

“Yeah.”

She had the driver take her the eight extra blocks and gave him a big tip. She got all the way to Prom’s door before she remembered Cindy and the baby. She had forgiven her, but she didn’t have the emotional energy to make nice right now after only seeing her a week ago.

She turned away to leave when it opened. “Where are you going?” he asked. He looked stoned. “You look good enough to eat.” He looked her up and down.

“Is Cindy here?”

“She’s out with Gladio…You don’t want to come party with us?”

“Who is us?”

“Iggy’s here.”

“You love hanging out with creepy dudes, don’t you?”

He laughed, delighted. “Come on, Liv. I’ll drive you home, just come hang out for a minute.”

She drifted inside. The place smelled like weed and there was a big bottle of whiskey on the coffee table, half empty. Ignis looked the most relaxed she had ever seen him. She looked away from his face, to his arms. His white button down was crisp, and he had rolled up the sleeves, exposing milk white forearms and long, big delicate hands. _Jesus, those hands should be displayed at the Louvre._

“Hello, Olivia.”

“Hello, Ignis.”

“Drink?”

“Yes.”

He handed her the bottle. “Not even a glass?” she asked, and he smirked but got up to get her one.

“Where’s Noctis?” he asked a bit too innocently as he handed her the cup.

“Beating up some dude.” She took the shot and coughed and then poured a double.

“What dude?” he looked concerned.

“Luna’s boyfriend.”

“ _What?_ ” Prompto said and Ignis laughed and laughed. Liv drank again and started laughing, too.

“Go save your prince, Prom,” she sputtered.

“That’s Iggy’s job, not mine. What are Luna and Nyx doing here?” Prom asked.

“I met with her this week. Our firm won her contract. And then we go to the party and then Noctis sees her and then he fights her boyfriend and then I got the fuck out of there.”

“You don’t seem very upset,” Ignis remarked.

“She’s stone cold,” Prom said. “You should have seen her when I told her I got her best friend pregnant.”

She shrugged. “What am I supposed to do, weep and gnash my teeth?”

Ignis handed her his handkerchief.

“What?” she asked.

“For the weeping. And the gnashing.” He nodded.

“Does this have chloroform on it?” she said disdainfully.

“Do you want it to?” Prom asked.

Olivia checked her phone. Nothing.

“Leave me alone,” she said loudly, and Prom laughed again. “The only reason I’m here is because I don’t want to wait at home and wait for Noct to come home. Or not come home.”

“I can sleep on your couch and beat him up when he arrives,” Ignis suggested.

Her phone buzzed and she grabbed it and answered immediately. “Fuck you,” she mouthed to Prom when she caught him rolling his eyes.

“Olivia?”

A pause. “Luna?”

Prom gasped theatrically and fell to the carpet, rolling around. Ignis laughed and drank from Liv’s glass. She snatched it from his hands with her free one.

“You recognize my gorgeous voice?”

“This may be surprising, but I don’t know a lot of women who sound like you, Luna.”

“Would you like to spend some time together, Olivia?”

That sentence hung before them.

“What about…” she stood up to leave and get some privacy but Ignis stopped her with his hand in her...free hand, the hand that wasn’t cradling the phone to her ear. And she, dumb bunny that she was, sat back down. He patted her hand and released it. “What?” Liv asked.

“What?” Luna asked.

“Sorry,” she said. “Interfering…interference.”

“You meant what about Noctis?” Luna asked.

“Fuck him,” she said.

Luna laughed, delighted.

“I meant what about…” she started again.

Prom crawled to her and pantomimed different sexual positions. She tried not to giggle and move away but then…these hands kept appearing.

“Oh, Nyx? He’s around,” she said vaguely.

“Where are you?”

“Downtown Marriot. Room 1100 don’t forget…”

“I won’t.”

“Repeat it.”

“I can’t. Little birdies are listening.”

“How long will you be?”

“Twenty minutes, max. I have to…do something.” Liv tossed up her phone in ecstasy and elbowed her way to the bathroom. She adjusted her makeup and then wondered for a while whether the night was going to end the way it was setting itself up to end. 

**

Prom looked at Ignis. “This close. We came this close,” he said.

Ignis noticed Liv’s buzzing phone and handed it to Prom who answered.

“Hey.”

“What…you doing with Liv’s phone,” Noct said drunkenly. “Put her on,” he ordered.

“I can’t.” He smirked at Ignis.

“Why not?”

“She’s busy.”

“Fuck you dude. She doesn’t want you, you’re…a baby daddy.” Noctis laughed for a while.

“She’s not busy with me. Obviously.”

“Who’s she with? Gladio, really? I didn’t think—”

“Nope.”

Noct’s voice went dark. “I’m gonna kill him.”

Prom pointed at Ignis and made motions that Ignis clearly didn’t understand. “Like you killed Nyx?” Prom asked.

“Why’d you bring that dude around? _You_ fucked it all up.”

“Nyx? He’s cool.”

“Did you fuck him, too?”

“You’ve already asked that, Noct. Not everyone is a whore like us. How’s Luna?”

“Fuck Luna.”

“That great, huh?”

“I swear to God, I’m coming over there and—”

“Passing out?” Prom laughed at him again and hung up as Liv pranced out and then slapped Prom as she grabbed her phone out of his hands.

“You act like you’re the normal one, but you’re not, you psycho,” she complained, looking at her call log.

“That sounds like something I said to Noct a while ago,” he said. “By the way I implied that you were busy fucking someone, and that someone could or could not be Ignis.”

“I’d start with his hands, all over my pussy,” she said after a moment. “He’d finger me for a minute. Two fingers only!” she said sternly. “And then I’d rub my wet clit on his forearm. The right one. And then the left one. And then I’d get on top, and then I’d fuck him, and then I’d get out of there before he could finish. I haven’t thought about it or anything.” She threw on her coat while the men sat there, speechless. She had to wait a while in the lobby for her uber but it was worth it for the grand exit she had made.   


	5. Interlude: Back to Basics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex scenes between the bros (not in order)  
> Noctis x Luna  
> Noctis x Ignis  
> Noctis x Prompto   
> Noctis x Gladio   
> Gladio x Prompto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rape warning  
> Drug use   
> Breath play

(The Past, Japan)

When Noctis graduated high school and turned eighteen, he didn’t realize his carefree life would transform into working full time to learn all the secrets to money laundering, which was decidedly unglamorous. He counted down the days to his international trip with Luna, and right after, college.  

When he whined about the tedium of the job, his father looked at him in that way that implied that his son was the dumbest dude on earth.

“Great. Let’s start running guns, or drugs, or people,” Regis said sardonically.

“You’re cleaning their money, what’s the difference?”

Regis tipped his head at his son. “How about this. You bring me a woman to traffic, and then we’ll see about getting into something more exciting.”

They smirked at each other and Noctis opened his mouth to complain again when his father hollered at him to get out, he was busy.

**

He went over to Luna’s and her father fed them lunch and listened to their troubles before leaving with his wife to an event. Luna and Noctis raced to her bedroom and pulled off their clothes. He had to be patient and avoid coming while she chased her orgasm on top. She really had great tits. He pinched them, and she slapped his hands away.

“Do you want to get married?” he asked when she collapsed next to him.

“You just might be the most romantic person on earth,” she said.

“Is that a no?”

“Ask me again after we graduate college.”

“Are you going to be around for that long?” he asked.

She leaned in close and licked the side of his face. “You tell me,” she whispered.

**

Prom had been at Noct’s apartment for an hour and hadn’t stopped talking the entire time.

“Dude. You’re high.” Noctis ignored him and focused on the game on his cell phone.

“No…okaymaybeIambutyoujustdon’tunderstandhow—”

“Shut up or go bother someone else,” Noctis said idly and was shocked when Prom grabbed his phone and stuck it in his pants. “I was about to win that battle!” he snarled.

“You win every battle, you sank a thousand dollars into the shit. The people of the world hate you.”

“I’m not reaching for that,” Noct warned.

“Whatever. Dude.” His hands were shaking.

Noctis loved his best friend. So, he did the only thing he could. They fought each other (he always forgot how strong Prom was) and he grabbed Prom’s wallet (he wasn’t expecting that) and then he raced to his bathroom and locked the door while Prom banged on it and said he would “fuckingmurderyou” if Noct did what Prom thought that Noct was about to do. Noct searched, found the tiny white baggy, and flushed it. At that time Prom had kicked down the door and they looked at each other for a moment.

“You’re going to pay for that door,” Noct said.

“DidyoudowhatIthinkyoujustdid?”

“Yes, tweaker.”

“That wasn’t meth, it was coke, you asshole.” Prom took a shuddery breath.

Noctis tried to exit the bathroom but Prom got a different weird look on his face and wouldn’t allow him to leave.

“Dude.”

“Get your phone, Noctis,” Prom said huskily and he thought, _oh._

“How long are you going to stand there?” he asked rudely and tried to brush past him again, but Prom wasn’t having it.

“You’re a cocktease, Noct,” Prom said. “Everyone knows it.”

“Who is everyone?”

“The important people. Iggy. Gladio.”

Noctis blushed.

“Get your phone, Noct,” he teased.

“Make me.”

Prom cocked his head up and smirked at him but didn’t move.

Noctis figured he could twist this around on Prom if it didn’t work out, so he leaned in and reached for the cell phone. He reached past his phone and grabbed Prom’s half hard dick and felt it grow. Prom stood very still so Noct went ahead and grabbed the cell and tossed it on the bathroom counter. He unzipped Prom’s pants and they both watched as it grew in his hand. He had caught glimpses before, but never realized…the extent of what Prom had. Prom leaned in for a kiss and he panicked and got on his knees and stuck the dick in his mouth. He sucked on it for a long time and then stopped, embarrassed.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he said, looking up.

Prom opened his eyes. “Dude, I’m high,” he said. “You used too much teeth, but the enthusiasm was great.” He pulled him up and they looked at each other closely. “You have pretty blue eyes,” he whispered.

“So do you,” Noctis whispered back and they kissed each other, awkwardly, Prom’s dick poking him. “Your mouth tastes like metal,” he said, disgusted.

“Mmm,” Prompto said. He tried to reach for Noct’s dick but he slapped his hand away.

“You’re not putting your drugs on my dick,” he said coldly and walked away.

Prom whined for a while and then got his stuff and left. Noct was only half paying attention to him but was surprised when he heard his front door close.

**

Gladio answered his phone at one in the morning. The only reason he did so was because Prom was calling.

“Hey!” Prom said, sounding wide awake. “You’re on call tonight, aren’t you?”

“I’m sleeping.”

“Can you do me a giant favor?”

“No.”

“Please!”

“What?”

“Can you come over? For a minute?”

“Are you in danger?”

“…Yes?”

Gladio was annoyed but he went. Prompto, like Noct, didn’t live too far away from the Caelum residence and Gladio was indeed sleeping over at the compound. Gladio was there in ten minutes.

“I’m here. What do you want.”

Prom seemed a bit more animated than usual, but nothing too out of the ordinary. Gladio was unamused and threatened to leave when Prom sighed.

“I heard…” Prom waved his hands.

“You heard what?”

“Remember Hiro?”

Gladio groaned. “That dude?”

“Yeah. I talked to him...awhile ago.”

“About what?”

“Really?”

Gladio groaned again. “Did you do anything with him?”

“Gross. He tried, though.”

“I know, I wish I could take back that one.”

“I can take it, Gladdy,” he said huskily and Gladio shook his head ruefully.

“It’ll complicate everything.”

“I won’t tell Noct. Or anyone.”

They looked at each other and decided not to unpack that statement. Gladio said, “Since when is anything a secret around here?”

“This boner isn’t a secret.” They both looked at it through Prom’s jeans. Prom smirked at him.

“I don’t think this is a good--” but he was silenced when he saw Prom pull it out. It was at half mast but straightened into attention. “Oh,” he said. And he did what any sane bisexual man would do. He put Prom’s dick in his mouth. He sucked it like he was getting paid to do it. After a minute Prom had to pull him off by his hair and he stuck his tongue in his mouth and Gladio sucked on that too. His breath was fresh and tasted strongly of mint.

“Fuck me,” Prom said. “I got ready before you came over.”

“What if I’d said no?”

“I would have killed myself.”

Gladio lined him up on the edge of his bed and then bent him over. He almost came at the sight of Prom’s bare ass waving at him. He grabbed a condom.

“Can we…not use one. Please.” Prom looked to the side. Gladio didn’t reply but he slicked him up and stuffed himself inside without the condom. Prom took him without too much resistance. It had been a while since he fucked anyone without a condom and he wasn’t used to fighting an orgasm the moment he started.  Prom fit against him perfectly.

“I…don’t know,” Gladio panted. Prom threw his head back and rocked with Gladio and Gladio inhaled the scent of his hair and caught a glimpse of Prom’s hand on his own dick and he had to think of something to stop…from…coming. Prom moaned loudly and when Gladio saw the come on his thin legs he came himself.

He fell in Prom’s bed, exhausted. “Can I stay here tonight?” he asked.

“I’m insulted you even asked.”

Gladio had to endure a cloud of marijuana smoke for a moment before he was asleep.

**

Noctis was in one of his father’s offices doing an audit of the money being moved around. It was a test; there was a leak somewhere that Noct was to detect. The figures swum before his eyes and he turned to attention when the door opened and Gladio walked in.

“Regis told me to tell you to stop moping,” he announced. “Are you okay? You’re acting more weird than usual.

“Yeah.”

“Is it something you want to talk about?”

“No.”

“Is it about Luna?”

“No.”

A pause. “Prom?”

“Yeah…he’s been doing a lot of drugs lately.”

Gladio sighed heavily.

“What?”

“I didn’t—” he said and stopped abruptly. “I didn’t know that,” he said.

“He needs to go to rehab.”

“Did you tell Regis?”

“So he can overreact? No.”

“What about Ignis?”

“I’m not talking to him right now.”

“You have to give him a break, Noct.”

“Why?”

“He told me.”

“He told you what?” Noct evaded.

“You need to leave him alone.”

“What?” he squawked. “He told you about all that?”

“He didn’t want to but…I got it out of him. He’s been stressed with Regis, he doesn’t need you shaking your ass at him every time you guys are alone.”

Noctis slammed the book shut while Gladio protested.

“You’re going to get your panties all in a bunch—”

“Ignis can’t keep his mouth shut. That’s all I need to know.”

Gladio put his hand on his shoulder and Noct stood up and stepped into his personal space.

“No. Oh, no. I’m not doing that, Noct.” Gladio literally ran away.

**

A week later while at work Noct overheard some of the guys talking and took the train to Gladio’s suburb that night. He strolled into the bar and one of his father’s men noticed him and waved him over.

“All hail the prince!” he drunkenly said and another scowled at him. Gladio sauntered over with a young woman, very beautiful. He caught Noct’s eyes and they frowned at each other. Noct and the lady recognized each other at the same time.

“Noctis!” she gave him a loud kiss. They had gone to prep school together. Gladio sneered at him when Noct smiled. She sat on his lap. “When am I moving in?” she asked.

“You’d have to ask Luna about that.”

“You two are still together?” she pouted.

“Yeah,” he said. She wiggled her ass.

“Still?” she said.

He rubbed her thighs. “Maybe?”

“Time to go,” Gladio said and stood and the table groaned.

“Off to babysit,” one of the men said and looked at Noctis.

“I’m busy,” Noct said and the young lady squeaked, “yeah,” but Gladio was mad. Noct stood her up and gave her another kiss and told her he had to call it a night.

Outside, Gladio told him to go home and Noctis told him that he was coming over.

“I don’t work for you 24-7, Noct,” Gladio snarled at him.

“Yes. Yes, you do,” he said and Gladio’s eyes widened.

He said, defeated, “If you come over, you’re coming through the back door.”

“That’s too easy to make a joke about.”

Gladio drove. He asked, “Would you have fucked that girl?”

“Would _you_ have?”

“I’m not the one who has a girlfriend.”

“Who was that chick, what was her name, the one that came up to the compound and was ranting and raving—”

“I don’t want to talk about that.”

“Why not?”

“Noct, you’re not half as cute as you think you are.”

“We’ll see about that,” Noct muttered.

He had been at Gladio’s plenty of times but it was different now. It was late, and the stars were shining. Gladio told him to wait but he took it upon himself to sneak onto Gladio’s floor.

Gladio was irritated when he came in. “I was looking for you,” he complained.

“Here I am.”

“I don’t know why you’re here.”

“Because you gallantly chauffeured me from the bar?” Noct checked his buzzing phone. A text from Luna. He silenced it.

“What do you want?”

“What do you have to give?”

Gladio opened a window and pulled out a cigarette pack from his table.

“That causes cancer.”

“Living causes cancer. You’re about to give me an ulcer.”

Noctis watched him smoke. He walked to him and Gladio waved the smoke away. Noctis put a hand on Gladio’s knees. He watched him and didn’t say anything when Noctis unzipped his jeans. He was flaccid but still enormous. The moment Noct grasped it the hardon was immediate.

“This is a bad idea,” Gladio said.

“Of course it is,” Noct said and began to rub it.

“What have you done?” he asked suspiciously.

“I’m not a virgin.”

“With guys?”

A pause. “I gave Prom head.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah.”

“What do you want?”

Noctis looked to the side. “Everything.” And then he put the dick in his mouth and slobbered all over it before sitting up and pulling off his shirt and pants, tossing two condoms on the bedside table. Gladio watched him.

“There’s no way I’m getting in,” he said.

“I’ve had lots of thing in my ass before, Gladio.” Noctis climbed on top of him and kissed the side of his mouth, then his mouth and they humped each other while Noct pulled off his shirt.

Gladio grabbed the lube and worked Noctis open while he laid on top of him, whispering his name. They kissed, tongue everywhere. Noctis grabbed him and groaned out his full name and Gladio grabbed a condom and awkwardly got it on and then grabbed his dick and pushed just the head in while Noctis’s cheeks grew red and he clenched his eyes shut. After a few minutes Noctis asked for more but he was too tight and Gladio quickened his pace while keeping his fist around his dick, so he wouldn’t be tempted to go deeper. Noctis whacked himself off and right when Gladio was going to say he couldn’t take much more Noctis exploded with a whimper and Gladio was right after him.

**

Luna brought over takeout. They sat on the couch. During the movie he gave her head, tiny short licks that he had recently figured out drove her crazy. Well, sometimes. He had to change it up a lot, her pussy was particular—except for tonight. She was bucking around already, and he hadn’t even done anything spectacular yet. She grabbed his hair and moaned loudly as she came all over his face. He licked it all up.

Luna pulled off her top and spread her legs even more. He grabbed the back of the couch and they humped each other awkwardly, Luna laughing as they struggled to get a good angle. She moaned quietly as he found that spot that she really liked, and he really liked, and he fucked his girlfriend.

**

Noct was on his way to leave the compound. He had picked up some of his dad’s fishing gear for his free day tomorrow. He noticed Ignis’s car and dropped off the supplies in his car, then went back up. Noctis burst into Ignis’s office.

“It’s ten pm on a Friday night. Do you know where your child is?” Noctis asked.

Ignis looked at him and returned his attention to his laptop.

Emboldened by his experiences with Prom and Gladio, he waited in a chair. And then he got tired of waiting and began rearranging things in the office. He could feel Ignis’s eyes on him as he moved some of the books around, set a lamp on its side, and as he reached for a potted plant he felt Ignis stand. He whipped around, and they looked at each other.

“Lock the door,” Ignis said in a voice Noct had never heard before.

He hesitated for only a second before doing so.

“Close the blinds,” he ordered.

He listened.

“You are to be quiet. The entire time. Understand?”

He nodded, his throat dry.

Ignis sat back down and leaned back in his chair. He took off his glasses. “Come here,” he said.

Noctis started to walk towards him.

“On your knees.” Ignis rolled his shirt sleeves up.

He crawled. He got to Ignis and he waited and when Ignis didn’t speak he lifted his face up and closed his eyes. It took a moment, but he felt Ignis close his lips on his. He tasted of coffee and Kasugai peppermint candy and Noctis moaned as he felt Ignis’s hands on his throat.

“Shh,” Ignis murmured. He stroked his neck and squeezed it gently. “Noctis,” he whispered.

Noctis opened his mouth and Ignis kissed him again. They tongued each other and Noctis tried to get in his lap but Ignis pushed him off.

“Get out of here,” he said, his voice strangled.

Noctis opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again. “I swear, Ignis—”

“What?” he turned back to his laptop and Noctis shoved it off the desk. They looked at the computer broken on the floor, and they looked at each other.

“Iggy—” he said, already regretting it.

Ignis leaped at him and grabbed him by the throat again. Noctis grabbed Ignis’s wrists but didn’t attempt to move them away. Ignis squeezed and Noctis looked at him as tears came to his eyes. Ignis let go and Noctis gasped for air and then Ignis did it again, rutting against Noct’s hard on. “I tried to stay away from you,” he told him as he let go of Noct’s neck and then seized him by the wrist and twisted him around so he was almost bent over the desk. They struggled with Noct’s belt for a minute but Ignis bit his shoulder hard enough to be felt through the fabric of his shirt. Finally, his jeans were off just enough, so he bent him all the way over on his desk and shoved a knee in between Noct’s legs to open them. Ignis kept a hand pinning him and searched for something with the other. He heard him unzip his pants.

Noct shivered at the cool liquid on his ass and then became alarmed when he heard Ignis rip open a condom. “You’re not going to get me—”

Ignis moved the hand and choked him with his arm and pushed in. Noctis screamed and Ignis moved his forearm to block his mouth and Noctis bit down hard and Ignis moaned loudly and fucked him in a frenzy and exploded. Noctis slid to the carpet, shaking and Ignis threw away the condom and grabbed Noctis and pulled him into his lap. He kissed him feverishly and Noctis slobbered all over him. They made out while he cradled Noctis and pumped his dick that ached for attention, before finally putting it in his mouth. Noctis grabbed his hair and came in his mouth and Ignis swallowed and Noctis pulled him up and they kissed again. This whole scene lasted less than fifteen minutes. They jumped apart when someone knocked on the door.

“Ignis?” One of the lackeys asked.

“Yes?” he said, sounding completely unruffled as he gathered his clothing and straightened his hair. Noctis had pulled up his pants and was half out the window. He disappeared.

**

Ignis raced home, showered and prayed. Neither he or Noct messaged each other. He didn’t answer his phone when Gladio called that weekend, but he listened to the voicemail, which was unusual for the man to leave.

_Iggy. Ugh, next time? Don’t leave any fucking bruises._

**

Noctis wasn’t seen at work and went on his scheduled trip to Europe with Luna for a couple weeks as a graduation gift. He explained away the bruises as a bar fight and Luna believed him. Noctis fought a lot. One of her girlfriends who was along for the ride wanted to tell her that most dudes punch each other, not choke each other, but she had enough tact to keep her mouth shut. Prom was sent inland for an assignment. Gladio avoided Ignis at work.

 **

A week after The Incident Gladio was waiting for Ignis at his car when he left the compound.

Gladio waved away the smoke from his cigarette. “What happened?” he asked.

“ _Que_?” Ignis opened his door and Gladio helpfully shut it for him before he could escape.

“At first, I was really mad. And then he kept _bragging_ about it, so I got confused.”

“What do you mean, bragging?”

Gladio sucked on his lip for a minute and then stubbed out the cigarette and put the butt back in the package. He pulled out some gum and chewed loudly, staring at Ignis in a way he couldn’t read. He then pulled out his phone.

“Gladiolus, really—” and then he was speechless. He snatched the phone from Gladio’s hand and pushed his glasses up. “Is this—” he scrolled over. Three perfect pictures of Noct, different angles including a profile, and in the last one his eyes were closed. Each picture displayed the livid marks. He tried to send himself the pictures but Gladio plucked his phone away.

“If he wanted you to have them, he would’ve sent them.”

“He is impossible.”

“So, what did he do?”

“I tried to say no. Can I go, now, please?”

“ _Que paso_?”

“He broke my laptop.”

“You need to learn to control yourself.”

He hanged his head.

“Aw, shit. He’s been aching for a spanking a long time, Iggy. You’re lucky he left, though.”

“It won’t happen again. Ever,” he said resolutely.


	6. recreational love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more soap opera and sexy times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The timeline is whack, sorry!

(New Year’s Eve to the Present)

In a crowded hotel lobby bar the TV showed the New Year’s Ball drop. As Liv watched Luna and Nyx kiss she wondered if she would ever meet anyone who didn’t have the backstory of ten million pages.

“I don’t usually drink,” Nyx slurred and was half in his girlfriend’s lap as he gazed at Liv, eyes wide and innocent and extremely intoxicated. “But when I do…shit happens.”

 “I think I’m going to get that tattooed on my forehead,” Liv said and toasted him.

“You’re not a pro, are you,” he asked, and Luna became horrified and she apologetically took him back to the hotel room.

 

When Luna returned, they each nursed a drink and talked about nearly everything. Everything except Noctis and Prom. They talked about college, and Luna revealed her parents’ deaths, and so did Liv, and it was like talking to her best friend. If only Cindy were classier and less back-stabby.

“What was the pro comment about?” Liv asked.

And Luna told her without shame, and they laughed about it for a long time and then Liv casually asked if Nyx cared and then she told her that no he didn’t, and they looked at each other for a while.

 

They had a last drink in Luna’s hotel room where Nyx was passed out on the king sized bed.

“I don’t want to sound conceited…” Liv said.

“But?”

At that moment she realized she wanted to fuck Luna. Probably the same way that Cindy must have felt with her. So, she did what Cindy would have done. “Did you send me those flowers?”

“Yes.”

“Did you know…”

“About what?”

“That I knew Noctis?”

“That’s what you thought? No, it was just the world’s worst luck. Or best.” Luna blinked at her and Liv leaned in.

They kissed, their makeup getting all over each other. The hotel chairs were too cramped, so they migrated to the bed. Nyx was in an alcohol induced sleep and he snored noisily as they humped each other. Luna was soft, and small, and they inhaled each other. Luna tried valiantly to take control, but she was left writhing under Liv who undressed her as quickly as possible and inhaled her scent, everywhere.

Liv sucked on her own fingers and Luna sucked on Liv’s fingers and Liv fingered her with one and then two, Luna’s pussy clinging to them, strong. Liv curved her fingers and Luna bucked against her, her face flushed and her mouth panting. She rocked against Liv desperately while they kissed.

“Wait,” Liv murmured and then sucked on Luna’s nipples, rubbing her boobs, and then kissed her all the way to her pussy. Luna came easily, which was great because suddenly Liv wanted to cry, and she was distracted when Luna tried to return the favor, so Liv said carelessly she had just came a couple hours ago and there was an awkward silence. Liv asked if she could stay for a while, she didn’t want to be alone, and they watched infomercials and laughed before falling asleep.

**

Around eight am on New Year’s Day Nyx hauled himself out of his stupor to make his way to the bathroom. On the way back to the bed he noticed a strange woman in his bed being spooned by Luna and then smirked to remember the previous events including—he scowled—a fight with Noctis. Halfway across the world and he still ran into his arch nemesis.

He scooted himself into the bed and was irritated when he saw the bright light of an incoming call notification on the newest oversized iSomething. He flipped it over to cover the brightness and in doing so he caught the picture before he read the contact name: 1Dude. The picture was of Noctis, edited butterfly pictures stamped around his head as he stared dolefully at the camera.

Nyx was suddenly wide awake. He said Luna’s name, but the woman woke up.

**

It was time for Liv’s walk of shame. She eased her way out of bed to come face to face with Nyx, who stared at her. She became uneasy.

“Remember me?” she joked.

“Do you know Noctis?” he asked abruptly.

She glanced at Luna who remained sleeping. “I’m the pro,” she joked again.

“Did he send you here?” he demanded.

“Can I get dressed?” she asked, and he blinked.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly and after a moment he stumbled out to the hallway, barefoot.

As Liv dressed she debated whether she should wake Luna or not. Luna shared a trait with her ex: she slept through the loudest of sounds. Liv grabbed her phone and checked her messages. She was a fucking celebrity with all the missed notifications. She used the bathroom and checked her hair and makeup but didn’t bother washing her hands. She smelled Luna on her. She tried to call an uber but there wasn’t one available; she would have to walk the eight blocks home in the freezing cold in her heels.

She was almost in the lobby to freedom when she saw Nyx. She groaned inwardly and then remembered this was what she deserved for entangling herself further in these people.

“Yes?” she said loudly, and the deskman glanced at them.

“How do you know Noctis?” he asked. “He sent you to get her back?”

“I’m not a hooker and I don’t know anything about your drama and it’s all a misunderstanding,” Liv said and fled.

**

Liv was nearly frozen after walking four blocks and she became ecstatic when she saw the familiar crush of vehicles near her favorite coffee shop. It was a trailer perched near an abandoned downtown warehouse. They were magically open on this holiday. She ordered her tea and slid into a corner booth. She reflected on her own stupidity and made several pledges, yet again, to herself. She was a grown woman, she needed to start acting like it.

She stood up to order another cup and ran into Ignis. He held his coffee out her way and only a bit slopped on his white shirt.

“I’m so sorry!” she said. _Now take it all off._

“Nonsense. I should have announced myself.” He set his cup down at her table.

“It’s been a long night,” she admitted.

“I can’t imagine. Would you like another cup of…hmm. Did you order the earl gray to impress me if I happened to wander in?”

“Why would I need to impress you? And how did you find this mystical place that doesn’t have a yelp review?”

“I know how to get around without the internet.”

“ _Fantastico_.”

“I must admit, I did hesitate before coming in. I don’t know if this place has a license to be in operation.”

“Down in these parts we do business with a handshake.”

“I can tell. I’ll be right back.” He ordered her another tea and he slid in to the seat opposite her. He had a little container of sugar.

“I would have assumed you drank your coffee black,” she said.

“I do. It’s for you.”

“How did you know I needed extra sugar?”

“I assumed.”

“Based on what, Sherlock Holmes?” she asked belligerently.

Ignis took a drink of his coffee. “The size of your ass,” he said as if he was remarking on the weather.

She chuckled. “Is that an insult or a compliment?”

“We both know the answer to that.”

“Did you have a nice time last night?” she asked.

“Probably not as good a time as you.”

“Hmm, I’m not sure about that. You and Prom seemed very cozy. With the liquor, and the reefer, and all.”

He laughed. “You try to be perceptive, I see.”

“It’s called street smarts. You should get some.”

“How do you know I am not already well versed in street smarts?”

“I know from that sentence you just said. Now. Where are you from?”

“Me? Westchester.”

“England?”

“Sure.” Ignis shrugged and she rolled her eyes.

“So. What’s up with Noctis?”

He took a moment to answer. “Noctis is a problem child. He has a lot of responsibilities that he likes to drop at the last minute.”

“Does he have any kids?”

“Of course not.”

“Does he have a bunch of girlfriends at home?”

“Have you met him? His personality ruins it every time.”

“I have no idea what you mean. So, you’re here to babysit him?”

“Gladiolus and I flew here because he never answers his phone. And when he did answer he kept talking about taking care of the baby and it nearly gave his father a heart attack.”

“He usually answers his phone for me.”

“You do know you’re bragging?”

“Yes.”

He laughed. “Alright. So you two are…?”

“Are what?”

“Together?”

“Nope. I think we were, before everything happened.”

“The baby?”

“Uh,” Liv said.

“Are you the only one allowed to ask questions?”

“Yes. I’m gonna get on… out of here,” she finished lamely. She gulped down her hot tea and faced the horror. “All that stuff I said last night…” she said desperately.

“You didn’t mean it?” Ignis asked and she tried to keep her face neutral.

“I…” she said and gathered her things while Ignis sipped his coffee. She ran away. After meeting Noct she knew when she was outmatched.

**

Luna woke up and reached for Olivia, but she wasn’t there. She sat up and was startled by Nyx staring at her.

“Good morning,” she said cheerfully.

“How does that woman know Noctis?” he asked, a smoldering anger in his eyes.

She took a moment to orient herself. She answered carefully, “I met Olivia at the firm on Monday—”

“Do you expect me to believe you just happened to meet up with Noctis’s girlfriend?”

“We didn’t know about that until the party. This is just a really silly misunderstanding.”

Nyx was unmoved. “You’re playing around. You’re trying to get back in with him—”

“I told you, I didn’t know about that.”

“The plan was for us to build a life. In Japan. Without this baggage.”

“Okay, Nyx, we’ll do it,” she begged. “You don’t have to make me crazy about it. I’ll never have sex with another woman again.”

“That has nothing to do with it, and you know it. Surely, you’re not that stupid.”

They waited for a moment while she absorbed the insult. “You’re saying you don’t trust me.”

“Because I don’t. I don’t know, Luna. I need some time to think about where this is going.”

“We’re leaving tomorrow—”

“A lot can happen in that time, Luna.”

She said humbly, “I don’t know what to do to make this better.”

“I’ll let you know if we can fix this when we’re home. I’m tired of being here. My flight is leaving in three hours. I’m going home. I’ll see you there.”

He grabbed his suitcase and she was horrified to realize that he had already packed.

“Nyx!” she demanded, shocked.

He looked at her sadly, his mouth bruised, and left.

**

After the tea, Liv ran home and checked each corner of her apartment before drawing the deadbolt, taking off her clothes, turning off her phone and collapsing in bed. Hours later a sunbeam woke her up and as she sat up she yelped. Noctis was sitting on the floor by her door watching her.

“How did you get here? Nobody’s supposed to be here!”

“Where were you?” he asked. “I called you. And then your phone was off.”

“It’s none of your goddamn business,” she said and tried to rub the sleep off her face. “You’re being a stalker right now. Get out.”

“You smell like someone I know,” he said and the way he was sitting there made her uneasy. She didn’t move from her bed.

“Maybe it’s your upper lip?” she tried tentatively. She wondered yet again how she had gotten into this mess, and how she was going to get out of it. She avoided his eyes. He stood up and she watched him sit carefully on the edge of her bed.

“You’re pretty when you sleep, Olivia.”

“You’re very romantic,” she answered neutrally.

His hands were cold on her legs, and she said no and twisted away. She wrapped the sheet around her.

“I want you to leave.” She decided then and there she was never going to talk to any of these people again.  

“Why are you mad at me?” he looked genuinely confused.

“You beat up your girlfriend’s boyfriend at my boss’s house.”

“She said I won?” he looked smug. “Anyway. She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Why don’t you go to your boyfriend’s house?”

He ignored her. “Did you and Luna talk about me all night long?” he smiled and grabbed her ankle.

“We had better things to do than talk.” She kicked her foot and he let go but they both knew he didn’t have to.

He didn’t miss a beat. “When you roll your eyes like that it gives me a giant boner.”

She dashed into the living room in her bedsheet and only felt slightly silly when he didn’t chase her. She grabbed his shit and stuck everything by the door. The pile grew larger and larger and she saw him approaching so she picked up his gaming laptop that he had supposedly gifted her and hurled it at his head. He caught it and set it down and then grabbed her. Maybe she should have taken that time to put on some clothes instead of running around hysterically.

“Be careful,” he chided. “I have a lot of starcraft levels in there I’ve been working on.” He let her go.

“Get your shit and get out.”

“I don’t need anything. Everything was a gift, I appreciate all the services. You were much cheaper than a lot of other women I’ve fucked,” he smirked at her and she decided at that moment to act like a ratchet bitch. She punched him, and she put her weight into it.

He immediately wrestled her to the floor and ripped her bedsheet off as much as he could, but it was awkwardly wrapped around her middle. He straddled her and kept her pinned as he struggled with his pants.

“Why aren’t you using a condom?”

“I know you’re on the pill.”

“I forgot to take it.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I barfed it up last night.”

He proceeded to proceed.

“If you do this you better plan on never stepping back in here,” she warned.

“You’re going to install another lock?”

The doorbell rang, and they looked at each other.

“Who is it?” she called.

“Cindy, duh!”

Noct let her go and she ran to her bedroom and got dressed. Cindy burst in as she was finishing.

“What you pop him for?” she asked and heaved herself on the bed. “It looks like a tornado went through everything in there.”

“It’s a long story,” Liv said.

“I blame you for bringing these dudes around. I mean, look at me,” Cindy huffed. “Did you forget I was coming over? Your phone’s off.”

Liv searched for it and turned it on. Before she could put in her passcode it started to ring. She recognized the number and answered.

“Hey.”

“Olivia.”

Liv overheard a raised voice and looked at Cindy.

“Gladio,” Cindy said.

“I messed up,” Luna said on the phone.

“I was gonna call you,” Liv said.

She listened to Luna breathe and attempted to wave Cindy away but she didn’t, or couldn’t, budge.

“Nyx left,” she said. “He packed his stuff and left. He says he went home but I have a few more things to wrap up before I can follow him.”

“What happened?”

“I guess he remembered you from the party and said that Noctis sent you over.”

“Shit. When were y’all supposed to leave?”

“Tomorrow, but for New York, not Japan.”

“Maybe he’ll be back.”

“I don’t think so,” she said hollowly. “Are you busy?”

“My best friend is making lunch.”

“What are you doing later? I was going to see Prom, can I come over after?”

“I would like that a lot,” she answered, and they made plans to text each other. She hung up. “I thought you were supposed to be cooking?” Liv asked Cindy. “And why’s Gladio here?”

Cindy shrugged. “He was just supposed to bring up the groceries, but I guess they’re arguing.”

They heard a door slam.

“Go check,” she whispered.

“They’re gone!” Cindy hollered from the front door.

**

Luna called Ignis and got Prom’s American phone number. She called him, and he answered right away, and she met him at his apartment and she cried for a long time about Nyx and the mix-up with Liv. She then asked politely about Prom’s life and was shocked when he launched into an apology about what had happened years before. She waved it away.

“So…why are you here, exactly?” she asked. She wanted to hear his version of the events. He told her about the baby and meeting Cindy through Liv. He didn’t mention Noctis.

“That’s exciting,” she said.

“Yup.”

“Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah…I mean I’m working.” He looked at her significantly and she raised her eyebrows.

“What?”

“I work in porn. But I’m going to switch to producing and directing soon.”

“That’s…”

“Exciting?” he suggested helpfully.

“That’s exactly the word I was looking for.”

“I thought I’d tell you…in case someone mentioned it.”

“No one mentioned it, Prom.”

“So you and Noct didn’t…”

“Didn’t what?”

“Have sex?”

“Were you paying attention?”

“You skipped the part after the fight.”

She sighed. “We had a long conversation about you.”

“Me?” Prom looked around.

“Yes.”

Prom slumped over. “Well, it didn’t work.”

“He’s upset about the child. He told me about it, but I didn’t know if you wanted to talk about it, and so....”

His phone rang and Prom answered it. “Yup.” He hung up. Looking at Luna he said, “Liv asked me to tell Noct not to sneak into her apartment again.”

“He likes to break into places. Just like you. Remember in high school when you almost got us arrested?”

“Yeah. But I mean it didn’t even bother you? That Liv’s fucking Noct?”

“Does it bother you?”

After a while he said, “Nyx will come around.”

“I hope so.”

 

The rest of the bros came over to Prom’s house and Luna steeled herself against Noctis. He had a black eye that no one asked about. Ignis and Gladio told her about Regis and other mutual acquaintances from home and she told them about Aranea’s wedding.  

“Where’s Nyx?” Noct said during a lull in conversation.

“He went home,” she said after glancing at Prom.

“Without you? Man, I must have kicked his ass harder than I thought.”

“Your face looks worse than his,” Luna said.

He looked pissed but didn’t say anything.

**

Luna came over at ten that night and they didn’t even speak. She stepped in the door and they were in Liv’s bed. In her own territory she felt more comfortable and she let Luna kiss her and take off her clothes before she took off Luna’s clothes.

They wrestled around for a bit. They rutted against each other and Luna sucked on her fingers and stuck them in Liv’s pussy and she gasped. Luna sucked on her fingers again and stuck them back in. She fucked her while they made out and Liv rubbed on her own clit. She got on top and wrapped her legs around Luna’s and they tribbed while kissing each other. She pulled Luna’s hair. She pushed Luna’s tits together and licked her nipples and Luna arched her back and came. Liv kept rubbing and all that wetness made her explode. Luna snuggled in and opened her mouth and Liv kissed her.

Luna stayed the night and they promised to message each other. When Liv went to work Luna took a cab to her hotel room and then to the airport. Nyx sent her straight to voicemail when she called. She had a message from Aranea and called her back. They were to meet in New York City.

**

Noctis got a call from his father. Which he answered immediately, and listened to Dad shout about how much of a disappointment he was.

“The baby isn’t mine,” he said, desperate enough to think that would work.

“And why is Prompto in America getting women pregnant?”

Noct thought about how much a snitch Ignis was. “He should be in Japan getting women pregnant?”

“YES! It would make my life much easier, Noctis Lucis!” his father took a breath. “I’m sending you a message. You’re not going to like it.”

“Love you, Dad.” He listened to his father breathe.

“I love you, too.”

**

In six hours Ignis was to ensure Noctis made it on a plane to California, and then Japan. Noct ran to Prom’s and as usual they didn’t talk about anything. They made out in bed. Prom gave the best head. After he came he hurried up and returned the favor and raced downstairs to meet Ignis.

**

Noctis texted a screenshot of the ticket to Liv. She called him immediately.

“It’s about time you went home,” she said. “You’ve overstayed your welcome.”

“Can you get off work early?”

“Why?”

“So I can apologize in person.”

She was quiet for a moment and then she said she would try.

 

Liv was unable to escape the clutches of her responsibilities and only left work a half hour early. Her eyes swept the street for Noctis and she saw a car door open and he waved her over. She ran to him and threw herself on him. It was really satisfying to see his bruised face.

“Whose car is this?” she squealed. It was a huge SUV something or other, and she and Noctis were thrown back as Ignis screeched away from the curb. She would not have assumed him to drive in such a fashion.

Noctis sat her in the seat and attempted to put a seatbelt on her. “Safety—first,” he grunted, and she slapped his hand away and jumped him. They made out and tried to get in position for sex. It hurt at times, and was awkward, but they managed to do it. She had her head pressed into the leather of the seat and she had her bare ass waving in the air. And he didn’t wear a condom but when she felt him speed up she ordered him to pull out. Just in case. He slapped her ass a couple times and the sound echoed and when he came he didn’t pull out. He finally let her go and as she pulled up her slacks he kissed her, and she bit his lip.

“I’ll get an abortion,” she announced.

“No way you’d abort my baby. I’d put money on it.” Noctis zipped up. “Oh, and I left you a surprise in your apartment. Don’t take too long getting home.”

“Is that good or bad?”

Ignis pulled the SUV into the airport loading zone lane. Noctis didn’t answer her question. He pointed at Ignis and said, “Don’t do it.”

“Where’s my apology?” she demanded.

“I told you,” he said. He grabbed his luggage from the front seat and jumped out the SUV, readjusting his black pants. He patted his pockets and waved without smiling. As he walked away her heart stopped to see those red soles on his black boots.

“Don’t do what?” she asked Ignis.

“Hmm?”

They were silent as he drove her home. He pulled up in front of her apartment building.

“When are you going home?” she asked casually.

“This weekend. I transferred my ticket to him.”

“Was that rude, having sex with you driving?”

“Why does it matter if it was rude or not? You did it.”

She stared at him and waited.

“Would you like me to see you to your door?” he asked courteously.

“Please, good sir. I am…frightened of this gift that was left for me.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Whatever do you mean, my lord?”

Ignis stared at her. “Olivia, you remind me of someone I know.” He double parked right in front. This dude was classy. She warned that his SUV might be towed, and he said he didn’t worry about such things. He opened the door for her and they walked in.

“No hints?” she asked as they went up the elevator.

“I have no idea what it could be.”

“You’re an excellent liar.”

She stepped through her apartment and shrieked, “Motherfucker!” she didn’t touch the thing although it ran up to her to cuddle. She looked at Ignis wildly. “This place doesn’t allow Rottweilers!” she yelled at him.

“He paid the deposit, it’s fine.”

“Yes, and I’m sure he thought of that part all by himself. Fuck this.” And she proceeded to get down and nuzzle the little wonderful monster. “She’s gonna tear up my apartment!”

“She’s enrolled in obedience training and day care. It’s a block away from here.”

“This is all your fault! I didn’t ask for a fucking dog.” She stood up. “What are you gonna do to fix this, Ignis?” she asked him softly.

“Kill the dog, perhaps?”

“You fucking monster.”

He cleared his throat. “Tell me what you want, Olivia, and then I’ll be on my way.”

“Tell me what you’re prepared to give me, Ignis, and then I’ll send you on off.”

He grimaced. “What does that mean? Send you on off?” She watched him take off his gloves.

“Are you gonna murder me now?” she asked him.

“Why would I take off my gloves for that part, Olivia?”

“Stop saying my name!” she shouted.

“Why are you yelling?”

“Because…” she whispered. _Get ahold of yourself._ “Do you want a beer?”

“Okay.” He got the drinks and sat near her on the couch. The puppy jumped in her lap.  

“Tell me about your awful life,” she said.

“How do you know it’s awful?”

“I can tell by looking at you.”

“Poor rich American girl,” he smirked at her. “Living downtown in your flat…”

“I am a woman.”

“Sure.” He nodded. She should really be more disturbed by the way he spoke to her, but she…loved it.

“Do you know Japanese?”

He took out a fancy fountain pen from his pocket and wrote some characters on her wrist. She resisted attacking him.

“What does that mean?”

“Does it matter?” he put up the pen.

“Are you Noct’s boss or what?”

“I’m his…advisor.”

“If I’d been pregnant would you have kidnapped me and made me get an abortion?”

“Not an abortion, no, but we probably would have sued for custody.”

“You know how to turn a woman on.”

“Clearly.”

“Tell me why you want me.”

“I told you already.”

“No. I think that was me, with the big speech about your hands.”

“Your ass, Olivia.”

“I’m impressed with your eloquence.”

“Time is of the essence.”

She jumped to her feet. “Do you want me to shower?”

Ignis stood as well. “That’s unnecessary.”

“You real pretty, boy,” she drawled and stepped right into him.

Ignis dipped his head and she stood on her tiptoes and he pulled her into him and he was aggressive but gentle as he kissed her. He kept holding her from him and looking at her and she was obliterated under his gaze. Ignis cupped her face. “You are beautiful,” he said.

“You haven’t worn the tie I gave you,” she whined. “And I stole your handkerchief.”

“I’ll come back for it later. When you’re not hysterical.”

“Don’t call a woman hysterical!” she shouted.

“Hush, woman,” he said, and she did, and he kissed her again and trailed his fingers along the back of her neck. He lifted her up and carried her to the bedroom. And he undressed her and stroked everywhere. He set his glasses down. He tickled her clit with those hands and then she grabbed his hand and humped his forearm and then he licked the come off it and buried his face in her pussy. Which almost grossed her out because Noctis had just come all in her but then she got hot and bothered by Ignis eating Noct’s come, and her come, and she came and Ignis looked up at her and frowned. “You do come easy,” he said disapprovingly.

She didn’t care whether it was Prom or Noct who told him that. “It’s my superpower,” she bragged.

He stood and undressed in front of her. She watched him. “Jesus Christ,” she muttered.

He set his clothes down carefully and put a condom in his teeth. She watched him pull it on. Ignis grabbed her ankle and pulled her close to him.

“Uh oh,” she said.

He held her legs together with one hand grasping her ankles and he fucked her like a gentleman. And it was perfect. Perfect until, ten minutes in, his cell went off and he answered while he was still in her and she made him get off by twisting his ear but he seemed completely unperturbed. She stomped to her bathroom and grabbed her bathrobe. She waited a while, surely at least five minutes, and when she came out he was still on the phone. She walked by the bed on her way to her living room and then spontaneously decided to rip her covers off him and he turned over on his belly and kept talking! Ignis was ass naked on her bed completely ignoring her. She watched him for a minute, and she just couldn’t take it, so she got dressed and took the dog out to pee because that poor girl needed to relieve herself.

 

When she came back up Ignis was still naked in her bed, now curled up on his side, still talking on his phone about some shit. She went to her living room and put on Call of Duty and her headset.

After a half an hour he stood in front of her, now in his underwear. “My work is important,” he said.

“What language was that?”

“German.”

“Where’d you learn to speak so many languages?”

“School.”

She scoffed and tried valiantly to ignore him. He took the headset off her head while she snapped that her game was important, that her teammates needed her, and he fucked her while she was bathed in the light of the TV.

 

Noct texted Liv. _You’re welcome._ It came in the middle of her work day. She ignored it, and she kept on ignoring it, and in her quest to do so she drank too much vodka. When Ignis showed up for their dinner she was fucking wasted. She insisted on going out anyway and she ate two bites and when he dropped her off they made out on the couch but again he said he wouldn’t have sex with her like that.

“We’ll see about that!” she shouted. She sat on his lap and she humped his hard on while he gripped her hips.

“Tomorrow….you shall be sober, yes? And ready for me? This will be our last opportunity…”

She was outraged when he left.

 

The next day Ignis texted her at lunch and she came down. He gave her a neat little container and it contained a lot a of edible treats.

“Did you make this?”

“Yes.”

“In Prom’s kitchen? Gross.” She stuffed her face like a lady. He double parked near a nightclub.

“One more block over and that’s where I met Prom.”

“Wonderful.”

He handed her a drink. It was iced black tea with too much sugar in it. “I asked for heaping spoonfuls, Ignis. This isn’t enough.”

“You’ll get diabetes,” he grimaced.

“The sugars? I ain’t getting no sugars.”

He ignored her like he would a child. “Are you going to be intoxicated tonight?”

“Does tipsy count as intoxicated?”

“Sober, Olivia.”

She shivered and tried to cover it up. “No.”

“No, what?”

“No, milord.” She set the bento box down on the dashboard of the SUV. She reached over and poked him. She did it again and he grabbed her hand. She wasn’t sure if she got on his lap of her own volition or not, but he set the car seat back and they were making out. He tasted so good and she moaned against his lips. She didn’t have a lot of time, so she slid back to the passenger seat and grabbed his dick and put it in her mouth. His dick was perfect, just like he was, and he reached over and grabbed her ass.

 

The next day Liv was a good girl. Ignis showed up and sat in her armchair and they stared at each other. Puppy whined.

“Are you okay?” she asked. He seemed…even more unreadable than usual.

“What’s her name?” he asked instead of answering.

“Red XIII.”

“What is that from?”

“A video game.” After a pause she said, “If you have somewhere to be you won’t hurt my feelings.”

“I apologize. I’m distracted.”

She wanted to help him focus. “Have you and Noct…y’know.”

“What?”

“Do you and Noct do it a lot?”

He took off his glasses. “Why would you ask that?”

“You ate out Noct’s come from my pussy.”

He blinked. “Oh.”

“I’ve met a lot of freaks in my life, but that kinda takes the cake.”

“What about you and Prompto?”

“Who?”

“You clearly like to jump onto the next in line.”

She was suddenly furious. “How dare you.”

“I apologize.”

“What do you want me to say? If I would have met you first, none of this would have happened?” She waved her hand airily. “Apparently I’m not the only one who likes to jump around.”

“Do you love Prompto?”

She thought about it for a moment. “Do you love Noct?”

“You first.”

“No. I’ve never been in love. I am obsessed with him, though. I mean. Obviously.”

“Obviously.”

She raised her eyebrows and he sighed theatrically. “No, I’m not in love with Noctis. You…”

“What?”

“You don’t care about that?” he tapped those fingers together.

“About what?” she skewered.

“Being…bisexual,” he whispered.

“Hunh?” she drawled and held a hand to her ear. He looked at her and then she finally continued. “Have you heard of sexual cultural misappropriation?”

“Skip the speech, Olivia.”

“Everybody’s appropriating everybody because their own lives are pathetic and boring.”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t care that you have sex with men.”

“I don’t know if you’re being painfully obvious or painfully obtuse.”

“ _That’s_ how you say that word! Anyway. Hey. I have a question…”

“What?”

“Noct said…”

“Noct said what?”

“He said…I needed to ascend the next level for you.” _Why do I sound like I’m going super saiyan two? Be painfully obvious._ “Sexually.”

He took a moment to answer. “Actually, I am offended he would suggest such a thing.”

“I know, right? I thought you’d tie me up, or something.”

“Do you want to be tied up?”

She didn’t say anything.

He went to his coat pocket and made a show of patting around while he stared at her. He then magicked the tie from an inside pocket.

“Don’t worry,” he said.

“No anal,” she said.

He smirked and then waited. After a moment she held her wrists together in front of her, the palms of her hands up. He tied her wrists together. He left her top on and pulled off her leggings. He took off his clothes and grabbed a condom and pulled it on. He wrapped her legs around his waist and entered her very slowly. He took his time and she eventually screamed and left an embarrassingly large wet spot on her couch. He flipped her to her stomach and she was his doll as he bent her over and fucked her from the back. He came.

He left her broken and he flew away.

**

Cindy called her crying and came over. She sat her pregnant ass in Liv’s bed and bawled about Gladio and how this baby had ruined her life and Liv cried because she’d fucked Luna and Ignis and now all she did with her pathetic life was think about them and take the damn dog out to shit ten times a day. And then Cindy cried and said she didn’t want to pay the “high ass rent” in the city and what was she supposed to do, work two jobs just to pay for the baby and Liv said, yes, and they looked at each other and laughed until they cried again.

**

Luna wasn’t used to drinking. And here she was, drunk again. She hadn’t spoken to Nyx in days and when she reached out to their mutual friends at home they expressed shock that the _happy couple was in trouble_ and she realized yet again how snarky people could be, even when you counted them among your most trusted. She should have learned that lesson already. She was about to cry in her long island iced tea, in yet another hotel lobby bar.

Aranea and Ravus swept in. As she looked at them she realized that twinge of jealousy was what her friends must have felt about her and Nyx.

They all air kissed and exchanged pleasantries.

Ravus told her what he had discovered about her missing money. He talked for a long time. About birth certificates, and name changes, and espionage, and subterfuge and all that stuff. He presented her with a flash drive as if they were in a James Bond movie. She couldn’t help herself. She laughed and laughed and when Ravus flushed and asked her if she thought he was lying she said, “What’s your real name?” He told her. “What is your mother’s maiden name?” He answered. “Go on,” she said.

He looked unsettled. “I haven’t uncovered everything—I can’t from here—but your parents’ deaths were not an accident. And…Aranea filled me in on some information about the Caelums—they may have been involved.”

She laughed again in his face. “I’ve known Regis my whole life. He would never do such a thing.”

“I’m not accusing him directly, but he benefited enormously from their deaths. The money went into a shell corporation that Regis is tangentially related to.”

She stared at him. Aranea ordered another round and then said, “I know this isn’t something you want to hear, Luna, but there’s something else—”

Luna made a phone call without excusing herself. “Yes. I’m okay. I…I found him. Or he found me. Dad’s son. Yeah. Okay. Thank you, dear. I’ll text you.”

Ravus and Aranea looked at her.

Luna continued, “Dad…Our father left a packet for you with our…my lawyer. He can mail it to you.” Ravus stared at her, open mouthed. “You were never a secret,” she said casually. “Dad tried to kidnap you, but then he went to jail, and something happened he wouldn’t tell us that part, and he left and met my mother in Japan. Your mother kept moving, and changing her name.”

Ravus left the table, at the last moment mumbling an apology. Aranea blinked away tears and after swallowing the rest of her drink went to her husband.

**

Aranea found Ravus in the men’s room, a classy place that had couches and a bathroom guy. She ignored him as she knew how to ignore all service people. Ravus looked disheveled as he leaned against a door stall. His eyes were red, and as she grasped his wrists he said, “I’m weak.”

She stood on tip toe and flicked his nose to try and get his attention. She said desperately but with true emotion, “You’re the strongest man I know.” She draped herself on him and wished she could take away his pain.

The words didn’t register. “I’m gonna kill her.” His voice sounded dangerous.

“Your mother?”

He finally looked at her. “She didn’t care about me. Or who hurt me. But she didn’t let me go.”

She didn’t want to know. She trembled. “Did anyone…hurt you?” she whispered.

After a moment he said, “No one ever will again. Can I have some…time?”

“Of course.” She went back to the table and Luna patted her hand.

“Let’s drink,” Aranea said.

 

Aranea’s buzz quickly wore off. It was three am and she didn’t know where her husband was. She heard the hotel door open and she ran to it.

“Where were you?” she screamed.

“Talking myself out of having my mother murdered,” he answered calmly.

“I’ll do it myself!” she shrieked and there was silence.

“You’re not afraid of me?”

“Well, it’s too late now.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

“There’s a lot I didn’t ask you.”

“Like my real name?”

“Who cares? I have my own money if things go south.”

He looked at her. He took his right hand and caressed her neck and then stepped back. “Take off your clothes.” When she reached her lingerie, he told her to stop. He watched her for a moment. “Go stand in front of the mirror.” She went to the large bathroom and stood before the expansive vanity. She watched him through the mirror. He pulled off his clothes and threw them to the floor and stomped her way. She opened her legs and he ripped off her thong and left her bra on. He bent her over and fucked her from the back and she watched him fuck her, her ass in the air and her weight supported by his hands, his dick, and her arms. They watched each other as he fucked her, and it hurt, but she let him do it and he pulled her hair and she came, and it hurt, but he didn’t stop, and she didn’t want him to. She was quiet because this was something different. He came and the sound he made put her in ecstasy. He pulled out and she immediately rubbed her clit and he kissed her deeply as she came, shivering against him.

She cleaned up and when she went to the bed he was mostly asleep, but he rolled over to be close to her and she was willing to sacrifice her dominant arm from the weight of him, the weight of his soul.

**

Noct called Luna. She didn’t answer but she checked the voicemail. She listened to Noct breathe. “Luna. I need to talk to you.”

**

Luna flew home. She needed to sleep, but she took a taxi straight to the Caelum Compound. She was swept right through to Ignis. They greeted each other but he sensed her agitation.

“You just missed Noctis,” he said.

“I am not here for him,” she said, and she waited while Ignis stared at her.

After a while he said, “Is there something I can help you with?”

“I was given some information from a…trusted source.” She waited again.

A pause. “What kind of information…”

She watched him carefully. “About why my parents are dead, Ignis.” He was too relaxed. He sighed and at that moment she allowed herself to break her composure. She stood up. “Tell me!” she screamed. And then sat down and smoothed down the front of her pants.

He immediately picked up his phone and dialed an extension. “Yes…yes…okay.”

He stood. “Right this way.” He held out his arm and she leaned on him and he was a rock as he led her to Regis.

 

Ignis waited at the door as she sat before Regis. A servant brought in tea.

“Do you know what I do, Luna?” Regis asked when the servant left.

“Dad—Mom said—” she said weakly. And she realized she wasn’t sure where all the money came from. Who did, when you had that much?

“I advised your parents to include you…in any planning. But things happened.”

She started to cry as she remembered a childhood memory. It had happened years before Noct’s mother died. She remembered strange men coming to her home, walking and talking as if they owned the place.

“They owed money to quite a few people, Luna. They had enough, but between the philanthropy and entrepreneurship and—” he hesitated.

“Mom’s gambling,” she supplied.

“Well…I didn’t know the extent of things.”

“You didn’t know the personal dealings of my parents?” Luna asked and Ignis made a noise. “I don’t know. It sounds too convenient. How do I know you’re not lying?”

“Because I took care of it. It took some time.”

“I need my revenge!” Luna said and Regis smiled at her like she was a little girl. “Why is that funny?”

Regis looked at Ignis who checked his phone and said, “You’ll know in another…24 hours.”

Regis said abruptly, “I know I’m not the best...”

“This is regarding your wife?” she said respectfully.

“She killed herself,” Regis said, and he wasn’t talking to her, or Ignis, but someone else. She thought of the chaos in Noct’s young life, her own mother weeping constantly. She didn’t know. She thought it an accident.

“Does Noct know?”

He looked at her. “I wonder why he didn’t tell you.”

“He kept a lot of things to himself.”

She finished her tea and stood to go. Regis stood, and they hugged, and she thought of her father, and her mother. Ignis called a driver for her and waited until she left. She hoped that Nyx would be home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bird and the Bee “Recreational love”  
> Dawn Richard “The Louvre”  
> Deborah Cox “Nobody’s supposed to be here”  
> Azealia Banks “Along the coast”
> 
> This is the best I could do, people. This painful journey is almost to an end. There’s a point to all this, I promise, and it shall be fluff.


	7. bebita

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sex and crying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any inconsistencies. I can't bear to reread what I've already posted so I'm operating on memory

(Present day)

Luna was finally home. She opened her front door and crept in. She saw Nyx’s stuff, but she was hesitant to celebrate too early. Nyx rushed in from a back room and swept Luna up in a hug.

“Oh God, Luna. I’m so sorry,” he said.

She collapsed against him and began weeping. She couldn’t speak. He carried her to the bathroom and started a bath and helped pull off her clothes. The bubbles were heavenly, and she immediately dunked her whole body under. She blinked at her boyfriend, rubbing her face.

“Luna—“ he started, and then disappeared. She had almost fallen asleep when he reappeared with tea.  

She straightened up and took the cup. “Nyx. Noctis and I didn’t—”

“I don’t care what happened,” he dismissed and sat on the floor by the tub. “You’re here now.”

“Nothing happened,” she insisted. “I spent some time with…Olivia.” She drifted off again and then sat up to clean her body. Nyx watched her and grabbed a bathrobe and he supported her to the bed. She was bone tired, but her boyfriend’s scent made her horny when he laid down next to her in bed. She kissed him, and he wrapped his arms around her and she felt safe. His hardon poked her and she grabbed it, rubbed it, sucked on it for a moment and then climbed on top. It took her awhile to come, thinking of recent events, but she emptied her mind until Olivia flashed, and she came abruptly. Nyx flipped her to her back and kissed her passionately as he made love to her and she thought of nothing but him until her g-spot oozed around his dick. He came, loudly, and collapsed next to her.

“Sorry I slobbered all over you,” he said.

“Sorry I got my wet hair all over you,” she purred. And in the flush of her orgasms she asked, “Are there any exes _I_ need to worry about?”

“No. Why?”

“I asked around about you, but no one would tell me anything.”

“I came home and decided not to leave until you got here. So I could fix everything.”

As she was about to nod off she told him what happened with her half brother and Noctis’s father.

He said he was sorry he wasn’t there for her, and then she was asleep.

 

The next day she got a call from her lawyer. She was back in business, with all the yen she could ever need.

**

Luna and Liv texted each other a lot. Links to articles, memes, emojis. Luna even sent her sexy pictures of herself and Liv sent one of her own.

_How’d you get that angle?_ Liv texted.

_Nyx_. Luna sent a pic of Nyx wearing a headdress.

_That’s racist._

_His grandpa’s native._

_How convenient…When are you gonna come visit me._

_Want to come here?_

_I would just for the food. Alas, I can’t leave work that long._

_Get a trust fund._

_I had one…I spent it all on college tuition...and hookers._

_Two weeping emojis._

**

Ignis called Liv.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Olivia.”

“What time is it there?”

“Consult a world clock.”

“You are ruthless.”

“Why haven’t you texted me, Olivia?”

“I’m busy.”

“You said you were going to harass me. I am not feeling harassed.”

“Yes, Daddy,” she said, and she heard him suck in his breath.

“Say that again.”

She did.

“Facetime me.”

She ran to her bathroom to check herself and then called him. Ignis was in an office.

“Are you at work?” she pouted.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Take off your glasses,” she ordered, and when he did so, she told him to put them back on and he did. Then she told him to take them off again and he showed her his hardon. She oohed and aahed over the magnificence.

“I don’t have much time,” he said.

“You need something to work with?” she purred. She showed him her boobs and then bent over and pulled her leggings down and waved her ass in front of her phone. She turned back around to see him cleaning up.

“I have to go,” he said.

“I’ll text you.”

“I know.” He ended the call.

**

(Time Passes)

Cindy begged to come over with Prom and Liv relented. They planned to eat a ton of junk food. When Liv let them in she gave Cindy a hug and swatted Prom away.

“Who is this?” Prom petted her dog.

“Red XIII.”

“Good choice.” He nodded.

“I didn’t know you wanted a dog,” Cindy said. “I thought you said animals are stupid.”

She shrugged. “He was a gift.”

“From who?” Prom lifted Red and rocked her in his arms while the traitor licked his face.

“I know lots of people interested in me, Prom.” She was irritated and took Red out of his arms to take her out for a pee break. For some reason Cindy went with her and in the elevator, she asked if Noct had bought the dog. Liv didn’t answer.

“You get everything you want,” Cindy said.

“You’re dumb,” Liv told her.

“How so?” she asked indignantly.

“I think it’s a testament to how long we’ve been friends that I haven’t fucked you up,” she answered calmly.

“You think you could take me? That’s a testament to how stupid _you_ are.” And then she whined when Liv escaped her by walking quickly.

Outside, Liv let Red do her business and as she picked up her shit to dispose of properly a little old lady snarled at her that Red’s breed wasn’t allowed here.

“Fuck off, ye olde cunt,” Cindy said sweetly, patting her belly, as she walked up. The woman ran away, scandalized.

“Cindy, I live here.”

“And so do you. Hurry up, I feel weird.” And at that moment Cindy’s water broke and they had to rush her to the midtown hospital because the downtown hospital was “ghetto.”

 

“C-section? I can’t have a c-section, it’ll scar!” Cindy screamed, the sound raw with pain. Paw Paw hadn’t yet arrived at the hospital. The nurse rushed in and hushed her and set Cindy at ease with some fancy words.

The nurse turned to them. “Okay, so you’re the father and you’re the bestie?”

No one answered for a moment.

“Actually, we’re Mormon and Cindy’s the second wife. I’m barren,” Liv finally said.

“Don’t tell her that, she’ll call CPS!” Cindy said.

“What’s CPS?” Prom asked.

“It’s when they take your kids away and put them with pedophiles,” Cindy answered.

“Surely not,” the nurse said, bustling around again.

“Have you been in foster care? No? I have, so fuck you!”

“Sorry about that,” Prom told the nurse.

“These insults are nothing compared to what I’ve heard before,” the nurse said, and Cindy cracked a smile and whispered an apology while her face was scrunched in pain.

Paw Paw rushed in and Liv took a step back when she saw who accompanied him. Liv pinched Prom while Cindy’s aunt hovered over her. Auntie then turned her eyes to Prom and Liv.

She said balefully to Prom, “I know all about you…And you!” she pointed a fat finger at Liv but then turned right back to Prom. “I don’t know where you’re from, boy, but right now you ain’t got rights to _shit._ So, until we see how this baby come on out…” she pointed at the door. Prom’s eyes were red as he left. Paw Paw followed him out.

 

It was awful. Cindy steadfastly refused the epidural—she had been in a car accident as a teenager and was convinced it would mess up her back again although everyone begged her to do it, including Liv. And then, it wasn’t an option anymore. Miraculously, the baby arrived in four hours. A girl. The doctor handed her over to the nurse.

“Thank God she’s white,” auntie beamed.

“It can take a while for melanin to come in,” the nurse said helpfully and winked at Cindy who could only laugh with her eyes.

“Can I get Prom?” Liv whispered.

“I’m staying with her,” she whispered back. “I can’t until we figure it all out. She’s not evil, Liv.”

“Of course not, she let me stay, right?”

“I love you, don’t leave me.”

“Cindy, I can’t.”

“You know what I mean.” Cindy was beautiful in her new mother glory and Liv pecked her on the lips and it was so chaste even auntie had nothing to say.

“I’ll text you,” she promised.

“You’re not gonna hold the baby?” auntie pouted and Liv ran away. She expected to find her own way home but in the waiting room she ran into Prom. He stood up next to Paw Paw who held a cup of coffee.

“She’s beautiful,” she gasped out. “I didn’t…think to take a picture. But um. Cindy’s gonna stay with her auntie until…”

“We’ll get this all situated,” Paw Paw said awkwardly and gave Liv a hug and she cried in his chest, apologized, and told him to go get to his great grand baby and he hopped awkwardly to the hospital room.

“I can take you home,” Prom said.

 

They didn’t speak during the drive. Prom pulled into her apartment parking garage and turned off the engine. He laid his head on the steering wheel.

“She’ll be okay,” she offered.

“I’ve called Noct at least ten times today,” he said, his voice muffled.

“Maybe…he’s busy? Doing whatever y’all did in Japan? Isn’t it night time there? Or daytime, like in the future?” she rambled.

He sat up and looked at her. “He answered when I texted him about your fucking dog.”

She was surprised at the venom in his voice. They were quiet for a while. She finally said, “Prom?”

“Yup.”

“He’s mad about this fucking baby! I’m mad about this fucking baby! She’s cute and all, but now you’re stuck here. You think Cindy’s gonna party it up in Japan?”

“I’m stuck here with you, too.”

“When’s the last time I showed any interest in you?”

He answered steadily, “You will always be interested in me. You’re gonna be eighty years old with dementia and talking about me to the robots taking care of your eighty year old ass. Forever, Liv.”

She was defeated. But she didn’t want to leave the car with it being turned off and parked, and all. She wasn’t going to fuck this dude right after his baby was born.

Her phone buzzed. _Emma._ “Her name’s Emma.” She texted back, _That’s beautiful, love._

Prom stared at her. “It may not be mine,” he said stupidly.

“Prompto?”

“Yeah?”

“I saw the baby. Firstborn girls always look like they—their daddy. It’s like, law.”

“Are you fucking with me?”

She laughed, really hard, because it was really actually very funny. She finally got control of herself.

He said, “I’m going to tell Noct you fucked Ignis.”

“I didn’t,” she said confidently.

“I know when you’re lying.”

After a moment she said, “He already knows.”

He laughed. “No, he doesn’t. He knows about Luna.”

“He doesn’t even care.”

“Then tell him.”

“I’ll tell him _you_ fucked him,” she said desperately.

“I’ve never fucked Ignis,” Prom said. They stared at each other for a while.

“Maybe he’ll believe me, anyway,” she said triumphantly.

“When did you turn devious, Liv.” Prom slumped over again. His voice subdued he said, “Can you call him?”

Noct answered at the last possible second and she handed the phone over.

“Hey. Yeah, I know…Noct…” he looked anguished and Liv gave them some privacy and went up to her apartment. She took Red out. After a while she thought she would have to check in but then he came in and laid down on her floor, only moving when Red came over to play. She got him some tissues and he gave her the phone. “Ignis texted you,” he said and curled up in a ball.

Dude was a total creeper and asked her random questions daily. This one: _Where did you go to college?_ She replied, _Oxford. I gots to go for a while milord._ And she set aside her phone.

“Can I smoke in here?” Prom asked plaintively.

“Nope! I pay extra for that balcony, go use it.”

He draped a blanket over himself so he could look extra pathetic and went outside. When he came back in he sat right next to Liv on her couch and asked what was wrong with him.

“What do you mean? Don’t you have like tens of thousands of followers?” she replied and scooted over away from him and his fucking pheromones.

“I know. Do you know how many people message me daily?” He scooted over so their knees were touching again.

“I know right. Like, why can’t you build a life and intimate relationships around your internet fame?”

“I already tried to.”

“You can try again. Maybe you can pick someone to be Emma’s stepmama.”

“You’re mean.”

“I’m mean? You haven’t heard nothing yet. Guess what? Mars Volta is a dumb band.”

“It’s _The_ Mars Volta. And they are epic. Next?”

“Ugh, well, I mean, you are pretty impulsive, right? And you like drugs.”

“A little bit of weed never killed anyone.”

“Say that to all the people caught up in the US justice system!” she hollered.

He rolled his eyes. “Here we go.”

“Not to mention the porn—”

“What? I needed to eat!” he said indignantly.

“You needed to feed your starving family?”

“My degree didn’t transfer here.”

She rolled her eyes. “You just do the easiest thing.”

“So I should be like you, working a crappy desk job?”

“Did I say that? Jesus.”

“Jesus H Christ,” he mimicked. “What does the H stand for, Liv?”

“It stands for Holy, you shit.”

“There’s that Christian spirit!”

“Go home!” she said. “I’m not the reason your boyfriend isn’t here.” She moved over to her kitchen table.

“Since you know so much why isn’t he here, Liv?”

“Because you’re a whore,” she said. And then immediately wished she could take it back.

“So are you,” he said, finally.

“According to you?” she laughed at him.

“So that’s what you and Noct talk about? How much of a whore I am?”

“We don’t talk about you at all. How many times am I gonna have to say that?”

He stood and grabbed Red. “Snatched!” he said. “She belongs to me. Noct never got me a fucking dog.”

“Set her down!” she stood and screamed at him. “You can’t afford a baby and a dog, you bitch!” He moved to the door. “I’ll call the police,” she threatened but she stayed away from him. Red whined at the tension in the air.

“It’s a civil matter,” he smirked. “Take me to small claims court.”

“I have a gun!” she said desperately.

“Your glock? It’ll probably jam.”

“How do you know about guns?”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” And he fucking left with her dog.

She didn’t want to chase and fight Prom. It hurt too much. She went to her couch again and sat there and after a while she heard her door open again and Red ran back in and she refused to look at Prom. He stood over her and wiped her tears away with his thumb. She waited for him to apologize. He sat down by her again, practically in her lap, and he whispered in her ear.

“You think you can just fuck all my friends?” he said. She looked at him and his blue eyes looked flat and scary. He continued, “So you drop me and ignore me and move on?” She wanted to tell him she felt the same way, but she didn’t trust herself to speak. “Do you think we don’t talk about you?” He pulled her hair and when she pushed his hand off he pulled her hair again. She waited to battle, but he just sat there looking at her.

“You didn’t even do anything when I took XIII.”

“I don’t want to fight you.”

“You fought Noct.”

“Because I hate him.”

“You sure don’t act like it.”

“Whatever, bitch.”

“Don’t call me a bitch.”

“Then stop acting like a bitch. Bitch.”

“You sound like Noct.”

“You have excellent taste. Bitch.”

He sighed. He pulled out his cell phone and messed with it for a minute. He aimed it at her and rearranged her hair a bit.

“You’ve seen me do these before?” he asked her. She didn’t answer. “I thought so. State your name and age for the camera,” he said.

She thought about it for a moment. He stood there and watched her and she thought, _I’m gonna regret this._

“I am Prompto’s ex girlfriend. I’m 25 years old. And I give my consent for this performance,” she noted.

He looked at her through his phone, and then he looked at her.

“Take off your clothes.”

She did, slowly and he kept recording her. He pushed her clothes out the frame and he had her stand and turn around before perching her back on the edge of the couch. He stuck his thumb in her mouth and rubbed it on her nipples.

“Look at the camera,” he said and she stopped looking at him. He unzipped his pants and pulled out his dick. He waited and she leaned forward and put it in her mouth and sucked for a while before he pulled her off and opened her legs. He kneeled and rubbed her clit. He watched the camera as he stuck in his dick, without a condom. He filmed himself pushing in and pulling out and Liv’s legs started to shake.

“You missed me,” he said in statement. They looked at each other as he fucked her. “It’s been a while…You have the tightest pussy,” he said. She didn’t say anything. “Say my name,” he said. She didn’t. He started to rock his hips in that way she liked, and she couldn’t help herself, she started to moan, and he picked up the pace. He threw his phone down and she pushed him back and rode him until her clit couldn’t take anymore and he got back on top and fucked her in a frenzy, staring at her.

“I love you, Prom,” she said and he looked shocked and immediately pulled out and came on her stomach. She wiped it off with her shirt and hid her tears as she ran to the bathroom naked and locked the door. She waited for him to leave.

She heard his steps outside the door. “Liv…” he sounded normal again.

She took a deep breath. “Call me when you know the baby’s yours,” she said through the door.

“I love you, Olivia.”

“Not as much as Noctis?”

“I love you both.”

“You two need to figure it out and put everyone else out their misery.”

After a moment he whispered, “Who knows if he’ll be back.”

“He will.”

After a long time he said, “I used to wish I didn’t come back for your birthday.”

“You’re not the only one.”

“So this is it?”

“This has been it for awhile. My goal in life is not to be a step mom waiting around for your boyfriend to get home.”

“Do you love Noctis?”

“No.”

“Ignis?”

“I just met him.”

“Is that your answer?”

“Why are we talking about this?” she opened the door and she was shocked to see Prom crying too. “It’s always been you. You’re just too stupid to get it.” She kissed him, and they got their tears all over each other.

“Can I stay?”

“No.”

“Do you want me to delete it?”

“Are you gonna post it?”

He shook his head.

“It’ll give you something to remember me by.”

He kissed her again. He left.

**

Liv pulled up Tinder but there was no one near as attractive as the random people she’d fucked since meeting Prompto.

**

A few days later Prom and Cindy and the baby met first thing in the morning and they did a mouth swab. Prom held Emma for the first time and thought to himself _shit._ The baby was perfect and the way she cooed at him sealed the deal. Later that afternoon he got the results. He was stoned, and may have had a few beers in him, but the answer was not surprising.

 

He texted his people. Luna called him back and said she was so pleased they had reconnected and they promised to text each other. Gladio called and asked what the baby’s name was. Ignis called but he managed to not ask one question about the baby. He called Noct, who did not answer. He called Liv, who did not answer.

**

Noctis ruminated over his life and drank. He needed something for the slosh in his stomach and he went to the closest ramen house and ordered a bowl along with a much-needed beer. His attention was drawn down the bar—an American soldier was attempting to order food by pointing but he couldn’t answer any follow up questions. Noctis was going to ignore it until he caught a glimpse of the man’s face. He grabbed his beer and drifted along the bar.

“She’s asking if you want everything on it,” he said in English.

The soldier looked at him, surprised. “Of course I do.”

Noct told her.

“Thanks. My Japanese phrases aren’t very good,” he said humbly. “I haven’t gotten into too much trouble, hopefully. So, you’re an expat?”

“I was born here.”

“Oh, wow. I didn’t want to assume—”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“You mind—I can get you your next beer.” The server brought out Noct’s ramen to his new bar seat.

The soldier said conversationally, “I just learned yesterday I can’t eat clear noodles with chopsticks.”

“You should carry a fork around.”

“They took it from me at customs.” They smirked at each other.

They drank, and the soldier droned on about his duties. “I have to get back to base soon,” he hiccupped.

“I can take you.”

The guy followed him to his car.

“Hey…what’s your name?”

“Noctis.”

“I’m Jorge…Could we like hang out sometime?”

_“No dejes para manana lo que puedas hacer hoy.”_

“I dunno Spanish.”

“How much time do you have?”

“An hour.”

“Do you want to come over?”

The guy gulped.

“Are you a virgin?”

“With dudes.”

“Want to fuck?”

The soldier sputtered. “Top or bottom?”

“I’m versatile.”

 

In Noct’s home, Jorge chose to bottom. He was a great kisser and not timid at all despite his lack of experience. He smelled good and he tasted good. Noct sucked him dry as he got him open and then the guy bent over and he fucked him with a condom. And then the guy asked for his number and Noct cavalierly told him he was in a relationship. And Jorge was sad but understanding and Noct dropped him off.

**

Ignis sent Olivia random packages to her office and home. The gifts were always in a much larger beat up box and exquisitely wrapped with some fancy ass paper and ribbon. The office gifts were kosher— expensive designer desk stuff, but the home presents were not. She discovered how woefully inadequate her own vibrators were. She sucked up her courage and unbidden, she carefully set a stage and used two of the toys he sent her. It was painful to watch but she wanted to verify its hotness before sending it to Ignis.

**

Liv was at the grocery store when she saw Prom, Cindy and the baby. She tried to sneak off but nearly ran into a little old lady and in her quest to prevent a geriatric getting her fucking hip broken she sacrificed herself and fell over. She then stood herself up and marched over to the happy family.

Cindy handed her Emma and left immediately, mumbling about a bathroom. Prom smiled but he looked exhausted. Emma smelled like rainbows and Liv rocked her awkwardly and told her uterus and ovaries to shut the fuck up. The baby couldn’t even hold up its dang head. But she sure was a pretty little thing. Cindy finally returned, and Liv gave the baby to Prom who put her up in the carrier. Cindy kissed Liv on the lips and wept.

“Maybe it’s postpartum depression?” Liv suggested helpfully.

“No, I just need to fucking sleep!” she screamed, and people looked their way sympathetically.

**

Liv received the dreaded call with Emma screaming in the background. Prom needed her for just a half hour, he needed to do something and no it didn’t involve getting stoned. She ran over. Prom looked as if he hadn’t bathed in days.

“She literally stopped shrieking the moment I told her you were coming over.”

“She want her Auntie Liv! Oh yes she do!” she cooed and the baby blew a spit bubble.

“I just have to call this nanny—” he mumbled.

After the allotted thirty minutes she checked on him; he was asleep, his phone in hand. Liv carefully sat the baby by him and snapped a few candid photos and then went back to the living room with Emma. She sent the pictures to Noct and he sent her a gif of Michael Jackson dangling one of his babies off a balcony. And then he called her, but she didn’t answer. And then he called her again and she answered.

“He looks…” Noct said and didn’t finish.

“Are you still being mean to him?”

He didn’t answer.

“Are you jealous of the baby, Noctis?”

“Are you?”

“God no. What am I supposed to do with a baby?”

“Have you had your period yet?”

“Check the webcams you have wired all over my apartment.”

“I didn’t put one in your bathroom, that’s disgusting.”

This wasn’t the first time she’d asked. “Why is he here, anyway? In the States, I mean?”

“He ran away,” he mumbled.

“From who?”

He sighed heavily. “I was supposed to marry Luna. We had a date set and everything, and then she found out about Prom, and then it was okay for a while, but then she started fucking this dude.”

“Nyx.”

“Whatever his stupid name is. And she dumped me.”

“And Prom?”

“Ignis…or my dad told him he was hanging around too much.”

“So your dad knows?”

A pause. “There’s not really much he doesn’t know.”

“I’m gonna wake him up.”

“But he looks so peaceful,” he said dryly.

She left Emma in her playpen. She hated waking up Prom. He was like Cindy, always jumping up like he was ready to battle for his life. She handed her phone over, again.

**

“Prommy,” Noct said.

“Yup,” Prom answered sleepily.

“Emma,” Noct said.

“Yup.”

Prom closed his eyes and wanted to reach through the air and be home, but he knew that was just a fantasy.

“I need another week and then I’ll come home,” Noct promised and Prom didn’t speak because he was afraid to show his emotion at that word _home._

“I have to work in two weeks, make it the last of the month,” he finally said.

“I can pay—”

“No,” Prom said and Noct didn’t speak.

“Sorry, man,” he mumbled.

“I love you, Noctis,” Prom said.

“I love you too, Prompto,” he said.

**

Noctis was at his family home. He didn’t like being here; he had moved out when he was sixteen. Too many bad memories.

Dad cooked steaks and they ate in a comfortable silence until Noctis decided to tell his father what he had figured out.

“I want to be with Prompto.” He felt his body deflate although his words were strong. His father didn’t say anything while he looked out the window.

“I know you do,” he finally said.

“Ignis told you?”

“He doesn’t tell me half of what you think he does.”

“Will you give him his money back?”

“I tried to a long time ago, Noctis. He told me to save it for him.”

“Was that before the baby?”

“Last year.”

“There’s something else.”

“Yes?”

“When can I go home?” they looked at each other significantly.

“This…isn’t your home anymore?”

“It hasn’t been since Mom died.”

“Will you two…come back?”

“Not unless the baby can. Will you go to the wedding?”

A long pause. “Have you…”

“I’m going to ask him when I go back.”

“Of course.”

They had a quiet evening drinking bourbon and Noct slept over in his old bedroom.

**

Noctis texted Gladio and drove over to his house. They sat in the kitchen and he bragged about asking Prompto to marry him and Gladio didn’t say anything.

“Are you going to be my best man?” he asked.

“Shouldn’t you ask Ignis that?”

“I haven’t told him yet.”

“Good luck with that.”

“Wow, you sound really happy for me.”

 “I don’t think you should marry Prom.”

“What?” Noct asked, but he had heard.

“He’s too good for you, just like Luna,” he said. He blocked Noct’s enraged punch easily. “Sorry. I’ll always tell you the truth.”

“So you’re not going to the wedding?”

“Of course I’ll go. But I’m not gonna stand up there.”

“What happened with you and Ignis?” Noct asked and Gladio sighed.

“Ask him yourself.”

“He doesn’t tell me anything.”

“Yeah, all you guys do is fuck each other.”

They looked at each other and then Cor walked in. Cor and Noct looked at each other, surprised.

“Sorry, I’m here early,” Cor said but he didn’t sound apologetic.

“I’m leaving. Thanks for the support, Gladdy.” He left.

 

He was _pissed._ He called Liv who sounded distracted.

“What are you doing?”

“Battling. What do you want?”

“How’s XIII?”

“She’s halfway back to you. I put her in a box with an airhole and some food. She should be there soon. FUCK!” she screamed.  “These goddamn idiots—”

“Did Prom tell you I’m coming back?”

“I’m gonna throw acid in his face. Will you still love him when he’s Two Face, Noctis?”

“Yes.”

“Thanks for making me feel bad about that joke,” she said and then she whimpered and he heard a crash.

“If you can’t control yourself you shouldn’t play,” he admonished.

“Says the dude who had a two hour meltdown after losing a ranked LOL game? Go fuck yourself.” After a moment she said, “Okay, I’m paying attention. You pissed?”

“How can you tell?”

“I’m a woman. Why you mad, baby?” she said in a low voice and Noct’s dick stirred.

“I’ll tell you when I’m home.”

“Home with Prompto?”

“Yeah.”

“You gonna fast travel?”

“I’m going at warp speed, baby.”

“You’re so talented.”

“It’s why you love me.”

“Be nice to Prom.”

“You be nice to him.”

“Nah.”

“Love you, Liv,” he said and she hung up on him.


	8. fUcK cAnAda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noctis gets in a little trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Interpol “All of the ways”  
> Yeah Yeah Yeahs “Maps”  
> Beyoncé “Sorry”

(A few months ago)

Gladio hated violence. But he was good at it. He handled the business and escaped. He had time to kill before his flight home. He was drinking at a Canadian airport bar watching the crowd when he recognized someone. Cor approached and ordered a drink and they didn’t speak to each other. But Gladio missed his flight home. He followed Cor to his car and he squeezed into the passenger seat and Cor drove for two hours to a secluded lakeside property. Cor fed him and they talked about their training and Cor said, “How do you want it,” and Gladio said, “Hard and fast,” (because he hadn’t bottomed in a while) and Cor left him screaming. 

 

Cor started working for Regis again. Ignis asked about it once, Gladio denied it, and then Ignis forgot. He forgot until he was out shopping, and he looked up and saw Cor at the checkout line. Cor looked at him arrogantly and then made a few air kisses directed his way.

Ignis tried to talk himself out of it the entire time he followed Cor to his car. After the first punch Ignis threw, Cor easily got the upper hand and told Ignis to give up, which Ignis didn’t do until a lady rushed up and said she would call the police. They immediately separated.

Gladio texted, called and eventually came over but Ignis wouldn’t talk to him. Ignis knew he deserved it, but it hurt nonetheless. Especially when Gladiolus sent a final text. _I’m second to no man._

**

(Present Day)

Noctis shows up at Ignis’s house and he’s…busy.

Ignis answered the door and said, “I have company.”

“Who?”

“You don’t know her.”

“How do you know?”

Noctis strutted in and saw a beautiful woman.

“Hello, gorgeous,” Noct said.

“Hello,” she answered stiffly and glanced at Ignis. “I thought you said you took off work a few days?”

“I did, Noriko.”

“Let’s try this tomorrow, when you are not preoccupied.”

 “Wait, please—”

And she left.

Ignis was _pissed._ “Why are you here, Noctis?”

“She didn’t like me!” he said indignantly.

“Not everyone loves you.”

“False.” Noct drifted closer. “You smell good. You were planning on getting laid tonight?”

“Do you know how long I’ve been working on this?”

“I texted you.” Noct was irritated.

“Did I reply?”

“Since when do you reply to my texts?” But when Noct checked his phone he saw that he had never pressed “send” when he texted Iggy.

He sighed and nevertheless went to Iggy’s bedroom.

Ignis followed and stood at the door. “Why are you here?”

“I came here to get fucked. Why else would I be here?”

“I’m not having sex with you, Noctis.”

“Why not?”

“We aren’t good together.”

“Why not?” Noctis jumped on the bed.

“Do you not recall?”

“How many times are we going to have this conversation?”

“It has been years.”

“Well if you would have given me what I wanted—”

“You would be even more insufferable?”

“Take off your clothes,” Noct said. He sat on the bed cross legged. And they waited like that for a long time.

Ignis started with his shirt. And then his belt buckle. He left on his underwear but Noct shook his head. And off those went. He was half hard.

“Come here,” Noct said. And Ignis sat on his bed and bent over to him and they kissed while Ignis got hard.

Noct got on his knees on the side of the bed and took Ignis’s cock in his mouth for a while. Then he sucked on his balls very gently and trailed his tongue to his ass while Ignis half slid off the bed, his crotch thrusting in Noct’s mouth. Noct licked his fingers and then stuck them in Ignis’s ass as he sucked his dick and Ignis said his name a few times and grabbed Noct’s hair and he pulled him off and came in his face because he wanted to see it. Noct wiped off his face and stuck the come in his mouth and Ignis laughed, dazed. “Your hair,” he said because there was a glob that had shot its way North.

“Legs up,” Noct said and he obliged. He didn’t make a sound when Noct thrust in (sans condom) but his face got really red. “These…legs,” Noct panted. He found a rhythm and Ignis helped him. Watching Iggy’s face made him not last very long.

After Noct fucked him he laid down and ordered Ignis to make him something to eat. Which Ignis did, after he cleaned up.

 

They ate dinner.

“What happened to you and Gladio?” Noctis asked.

“Why don’t you ask him? Are you two not close?”

“He blew me off.”

“He lies. I don’t like liars.”

“You lie all the time.”

“Not to people I care about.”

“That’s a lie right there.”

“Did you come here to irritate me?”

 “Anyway. Um.”

“What, Noctis?”

“I talked to Dad.”

“About what?”

“I love Prom and I’m going to ask him to marry me.”

Ignis didn’t say anything.

They finished eating and Ignis did not remark on the fact that Noct washed the dishes. He turned on the news.

When Noct was done he sat next to him and leaned in close. “What? You mad, bro?”

Ignis took off his glasses and rubbed his temples.

“Did you…” Noct whispered.

After a while he answered, “I love you more than I love myself.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You made your choice a long time ago.”

“What would happen if we got together?”

“Besides your father?”

“I’m not talking about that.”

Ignis didn’t say anything.

“You’d kill me?” Noct said. “I think you might.”

“You would kill me first.”

Noct walked away and poured himself a drink from Iggy’s bar. “Are you going to be my best man?”

“That’s ludicrous.”

Noct sulked. “Really?”

“I didn’t know you had put any thought into… a wedding.”

“Of course! Prom will wear a white suit.”

“That doesn’t seem his style.”

Noct sulked even more.

“Ask Luna,” Ignis suggested.

He ignored the sarcasm. “She won’t call me back.”

“Have you told Olivia?”

“Why are you worried about her?”

“Someone has to be.”

“So how long did it take you to fuck her?” he asked casually.

“Your ego can’t handle the truth.”

“I thought I told you no?”

“You should have told her that.” A beat. “She loves Prom.”

Noct belched. “Duh.”

“She doesn’t love you.”

“Fuck you. Everyone loves me.”

“You’re doing it again.”

“He wouldn’t stay, remember? I got him home and then he wanted to go back to the States. And now that I’ve fucked her, I see why.”

“Because you took too long.”

“Young people make mistakes.” Noct got a weird look on his face. “Even the almighty Ignis makes mistakes, isn’t that right?”

“Hmm?”

“You fucked Prom.”

_Uh oh._ “I just—” Ignis said and flushed. Noctis slapped him. It wasn’t too hard, or too soft.

Noctis watched him and said, “If you touch him again, I’ll kill you.”

“Who told you?”

“No one. I’m magic, remember? I know everything.”

 

They went to sleep and Ignis woke up. He had had a nightmare including daggers, fighting, magic, and grief. He eased out of bed and went to cry in the bathroom. He sat there in the dark on the floor for he didn’t know how long.

“Iggy?” Noct said at the door.

Ignis cleared his throat. “I’m taking a shit,” he said and Noct immediately came in and flipped on the light. They blinked at each other as their eyes adjusted. Noct rubbed his eyes.

“Come on, Ig,” he said and gathered him up and staggered with him to the bed. Ignis curled up in a fetal position and wanted to die. Noctis spooned him and kissed his ear all night long. He left for the day after promising Ignis he would be back that night.

 

Ignis showered and entertained his almost girlfriend for the longest afternoon of his life. She didn’t appear to notice that he wasn’t his usual dapper self.

 

That night Noctis was late.

Ignis received an incoming call. Olivia. He almost didn’t answer.

“Hello,” he said.

After a moment she asked, “What’s wrong?”

And since she did him a courtesy, he did one for her. “Noctis is going to ask Prompto to marry him.”

She didn’t say anything for a long time. “You’re gonna hate me,” she said.

“Why?”

“I single handedly got them back together,” she bragged. Her voice was bright and cheery.

“You are very talented.”

“All this talent hasn’t won me the fame and fortune I deserve.”

“It’s coming.”

“Wanna commit suicide together?” He laughed and he heard her sigh. “Good. I didn’t know if I needed to call anyone to save you.”

“Who would you call?”

“Luna?”

“Are you two still talking?”

“People are obsessed with me…Ignis?”

“Yes?”

“Have you slept with Luna?”

He laughed. “No. Why?”

“Because I’m jealous. Why can’t you keep Noctis there?”

“Why do you think it’s taken so long for them to get together?”

“You’re a bad man, Ignis.”

“Yes I am. How did you get them back together?”

“I’ll send you the pictures of blond Prom and his little blonde baby that I sent Noct.”

“You are Mother Theresa.”

“I know.”

 

Noct came over and eyes hooded, kissed Ignis.

Ignis picked him up and put him on the counter and they wrapped themselves around each other. Ignis sucked his dick. And then Noct returned the favor. And then Noct started drinking. Ignis had this thing where he would dump out any remaining drink of Noct’s, and Noct would bitch and moan and resort to drinking straight out the bottle like a functioning alcoholic.

 

“Why’d you keep this?” Noct asked later. He had the American tie in his hand and Ignis took it from him.

“It’s rude to get rid of gifts.”

“It was a joke.”

“When are you leaving?”

“Stay away from Liv. She’s a normal girl doing normal things.”

He ignored him and watched Noct walk his fingers over and pluck the tie away. He didn’t want to get in a shoving match, so he let him do it.

Noct took off his shirt and tied the American tie around his neck. “America—” he sang. “America—Gods save us…What are the rest of the words?” He climbed on Ignis and took off his glasses and kissed him. “You know, I’m not seeing Dad again before I leave.”

“What do you want?”

“You know what I want. Now give it to me.”

Ignis grabbed the tie and pulled Noctis in and they kissed like it was their last time. Noctis kissed his neck and tried to pull Ignis’s shirt off but Iggy yanked him off and made Noct unzip his pants and blow him. Ignis used the tie to drag Noct to his bedroom. Ignis fucked Noct while he was on his back and then fucked him while he was on his knees. He pulled that tie while listening to Noct choke and after a while he exploded in Noct’s ass. Noct rolled over and Ignis kissed him. He loved the look on his face. He cleaned up and gave Noct head for a long time, feeling Noct’s fingers through his hair.

 

Noct slept in late and Ignis brought him breakfast in bed. He sat up and ate and they didn’t talk and Ignis attempted to ignore Noct’s tears. Noct got dressed and they kissed and he left.  

 

Noctis spent a few days healing in northern California before flying in to meet his boyfriend.

**

Prom picked Noct up from the airport. Noct looked happy as he strolled out to the curb and he looked at the baby in the backseat and said, “Hey, Emma” and Prom beamed.

At home Noctis said he could carry the baby up to the apartment and when he caught the look on Prom’s face he rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to drop your baby, Prompto,” he said and exaggerated his movements as he grasped the carrier.

After they ate pizza Noct showered and took a nap and then Emma woke him up and he carried her around while Prom slept. She was alright, for a baby, but she looked like Prom and she smelled good. Until she didn’t, and Noct woke her daddy to take care of that.

 

“Are you going to see Liv?” Prom asked.

“Do you mind?”

“You’ve never asked that before.”

“It’s the new and improved Noctis Lucis.”

“Only your dad calls you that.”

“Yeah.”

“I hope you’re not too new and improved,” Prom muttered.

“Yep.” Noctis kissed him. “I need to talk to her.”

“Talk?” he scoffed. “Anyway. I don’t care about that, Noct.”

“Yes, you do.”

“No, I don’t.”

“I don’t want you to work anymore,” Noct said.

“I know, but I have to make money. For Emma’s college fund.”

“I’ll pay for her fucking college.”

“Watch your shitty language.”

“You don’t believe me?”

“Let me get that statement notarized so it holds up eighteen years from now.”

Noct stared at him. “You sound like…my dad.”

“Now I see what he’s been complaining about this whole time.”

“Really?”

Prom rolled his eyes. “You guys have fun and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

**

Actually Liv hadn’t answered his recent phone calls so he just walked to her place. She let him in.

Noctis grabbed her and twirled her around and kneeled to pet the dog. “Gimme some paw, XIII,” he said.

“Why aren’t you with your boyfriend?” she asked.

Noctis showed her a large personalized watch box in piano black. She gasped and fell to the floor. “We’re getting married!” she screamed and rolled around on the floor for a while.

“Yes or no?”

“Nope.” She opened the box and inhaled sharply. “You’re finally gonna make an honest man out of Prompto. You have excellent taste.”

“My dad got it.”

“Wow. Like, fuck. Are y’all gonna get married here?”

“Yeah. But maybe Cindy…” he trailed off.

“Hell will freeze over before that happens.”

“What if I paid her off?”

“I’m gonna pretend like I didn’t hear that.”

“Are you saying that two men are incapable of raising a child?”

“Are you saying that you would rather get rid of a perfectly good—perfectly decent mother?”

“Why are we talking about this?”

“Where are you gonna do it?”

“At his place.”

“Nope! It needs to be romantic. And the baby needs to be there and clap and say yay.”

“Can you go and hold the baby?”

“No, asshole. You’re about to be a dad, you have to get used to wrangling Emma.”

They were quiet.

“How’d you ask Luna to marry you?”

“After we fucked.”

“You are too rich to be that stupid.”

“Are you talking about me or your president?”

She huffed loudly. “What if he says no?”

And Noct laughed, and she laughed.

He said, “We have to fuck. One last time.”

“No.”

“Then what am I here for?”

“I’m gonna be celibate for a while.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’m gonna wait for my Prince to show up.”

“So I’m supposed to whack off to your sex clip?” Noctis complained and Liv stood up and screamed.

“Prom showed that to you?”

“Prom?”

“Get the fuck out,” she said, and she was the most pissed he’d ever seen her including the time she threw a laptop at his head.

“I was talking about Ignis, I went through his phone, he didn’t show me,” he said humbly.

“After you fucked him?” she sat down, shaking. “You can’t fuck Ignis anymore, Noctis.”

“I know.”

“I can’t believe you watched that.”

“What’s so wrong with me seeing it?” He was offended.

“Not everything is about you! It’s just embarrassing! Delete it.”

“I didn’t send it to anyone.”

“Anyone? Including yourself? Oh my fucking God. It’s on the cloud!”

Noctis looked at her and she rolled her eyes and got a beer and ignored his request for one. It seemed like no one liked him drinking. He buried that fact away neatly.

“Here.” He opened his phone and went to it and showed her while he deleted it. “It’s not backed up. I promise.”

“Did you show Prom?”

“No.”

She looked at him. “Why not?”

“He went crazy about XIII.”

“He almost stole her!”

“No, he didn’t.”

“He brought her right back, but he acted like he left.”

“Did you fight him?”

“No.”

“You’re going to let some dude take your dog?”

“Some dude like your soon to be fiancé? Too soon, Noct,” she warned. “I’m still pissed.”

“I’m pissed you have a video with Prom. And I’m pissed you fucked Ignis.” He was looking at his phone again.

“What did you think would happen if you left me alone with him!”

“Here.” He showed her his phone. “You can’t show Prom.”

She looked at the pictures somberly. “Someone hurt you?”

Noctis sighed loudly. “No.”

“Um…”

“Use your critical thinking skills.”

“Ignis?”

“Yeah.”

“Was that…consensual?”

“Duh. Guess how he did that?”

“He choked you?”

“With your tie, Liv. It was the hottest thing on earth.”

“I can only imagine. Why would you show that to me?”

“We all have secrets, Liv.”

“Clearly. Tell me another one.”

“My mom killed herself when I was in middle school.”

She finished her beer and got two more and gave one to Noct. “My mama was…murdered by my uncle. He killed her, my aunt and my two cousins.”

“You win that pity party.”

She told Noct, “I hate you.”

“Do you regret meeting me?”

“Yes.”

“What are you going to wear to the wedding?”

“I’m not going.”

“You’d do that to Prom?”

“Yep.”

“You should be proud of your accomplishment. You came this close to stealing him.”

“Y’all delusional.”

“Both of us?”

“That is what you all means.”

“Do you know about…his substance abuse issues?”

“Like you and your drinking?”

“Nope. He does a lot of coke.”

She was quiet for a while. “I didn’t know that.”

“He used to be fat.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I’ll be taking care of him.”

“You mean you’ll dump him when he gets fat again. He just had a baby. It’s inevitable.”

“See, that’s the difference between me and you. I’ll make him run until he’s skinny again.”

“What if he turns into a crackhead?”

“He would have been one by now.”

“Great.”

“You and Prom wouldn’t have made it.”

“Why?”

“You’re both weak.” She took a moment to speak and he rushed in. “You guys need someone to baby you and take care of you.”

“And pay for things?”

“Duh. You two act like your little paychecks mean something.”

“Says the dude running his daddy’s shit?”

“Don’t be jealous.”

“Whatever.”

“Thanks for taking care of him.”

After a moment she said, “Are you gonna take care of Emma? For real?”

“Yes.” He poked her. “Let’s have a baby. Don’t you want a caramel baby to love?”

“Are you gonna do her hair?”

“Yes.”

After a while she said, “You have to use a condom.”

“Didn’t we just agree to have a baby?”

“And I get to put hickies on you.”

“That’ll hurt his feelings.”

“His baby hurts my feelings.”

“Why aren’t you crying?”

“I’ll cry by myself.”

“After we are married I don’t want you to fuck him.”

“I haven’t fucked a married man yet.”

“Okay, are we ready?”

“One more thing,” she said.

“Anything,” he said, thinking that she was going to mention something sexually depraved. No kink shaming except for the obvious ones that should be kink shamed.

“I wanna wear his watch while we do it.” And she walked away and she made herself dinner and she didn’t share but he ate off her plate and made himself a general nuisance while he thought about it.

The evening progressed and then at a respectable hour Noct got in her bed. He smelled her pillow and waited. She drifted in and he held up the watch. She pulled off her clothes. He placed the watch around her thin wrist and it was much too big and she got on top of him and he sucked on her nipples and they made out. She gave him three hickies on his neck that tickled while she rubbed her clit on his dick and he grabbed her ass. Then she sucked his dick just to get him wet. And then she pushed him in slowly, without a condom, and she said his name just once and sat back on his dick and closed her eyes. And then she leaned in and put her tits in his face again and when she came she got off him and told him she wanted to watch him come. He told her, only if she would suck him off first and watching her lick her come off his dick made him crazy. He came and she got out the way of the goop and laughed. And then she stood up, naked, and held out her wrist and he took it with his clean hand and they cleaned up and went to bed.

 

“Who is knockin’ like the police?” Liv muttered. XIII barked. Noct got up to answer the door and she waited, thinking for a moment that it was a drunk neighbor, but then she sat straight up in bed as she heard the loudest commotion of her life, Red’s barking, and then those dreaded words: police! police!

Before she could throw on any clothes men were in her room and then one woman cop waved them off while Liv sat in her own bed in her own home and raised her hands, ass naked.

“You can get dressed,” the officer said, not unkindly.

Liv didn’t move. “I have a gun in my closet,” she said.

“What kind?”

“A glock.”

“Gotta permit?”

“Yes ma’am.”

The cop grabbed it and then nodded at Liv. Liv pulled on underwear and clothing, thinking she couldn’t go to jail without proper clean underwear.

The cop marched her out and Red barked against the balcony sliding room door, whining.

Noctis was near the door, kneeling, handcuffed. He had on thin pajama bottoms and no shirt. He winked at Liv and seemed completely relaxed.

“The permit’s in the case,” the cop said. Another official was in an ICE uniform.

“Where’s his phone?” They were pissed.

She prayed to God and Beyonce as they tore her apartment apart looking for his cell.

The cop walked to her and handed Liv her own phone. “Unlock it,” he ordered. When she didn’t move he growled in frustration. “Don’t worry. We can hack it remotely.” _Then do it, bitch._ “Do you know what this man does for a living?” She didn’t answer. “Did you know he’s getting deported?” No answer. She looked at only the man addressing her. “You’ll be talking soon enough when your rent needs paid,” he said meanly and bent over in her face. She looked at him.

“Looky here!” another cop shouted. “How can you afford a year’s salary on a watch?” He held up the watch box triumphantly while another police shook his head at the ICE agent in embarrassment. He must be a rookie.

She looked at Noct and she watched his lips curl into his customary smirk. She tried to signal him but he only glanced at her. “You must not earn very much,” he said.

The room was silent as the ICE agent snatched the box from the rookie. He handled the box and walked over and squatted close to Noctis. “The only reason I’m not smashing this piece of shit right now is because we’re going to auction it off and then I’ll be taking the wife to a nice seafood dinner. Get him up,” he ordered. The men did so and he punched Noct in the stomach. He didn’t make a noise and Liv squeezed her eyes shut for a second.

The agent gestured to the hickies. “Classy, young lady.”

“Your wife put on one of those,” Noctis gasped out and the room was dead silent. He took another hit for that one, in the exact same place.

“Get him a damn shirt,” the lady cop told her and she quickly did so.

“We’ll be coming for you later, sweetheart,” one of the male police said and they left. She sat there, shaking, until she heard Red again and she ran to let her in and then locked her front door and called…nope, not 911, she laughed hysterically and called Prompto, who didn’t answer, and then she called Ignis and when he said “Hello, Olivia,” she could do nothing but cry. When she took a breath, he asked her very calmly if she was pregnant and then she laughed and then she said that “the police done run up on us,” because it was the middle of the night and she was traumatized.

“The local police?” he said disdainfully.

“And ICE! That’s the—”

“I know what ICE is, Olivia,” he said and this time he sounded concerned.

“They can’t deport him if he marries Prom.”

He was silent. “Someone will be at your house in an hour,” he said and hung up.

She stared at her phone while Red whined on her lap and fifteen minutes later Ignis texted her. _I’ll see you tomorrow night._ She heaved a sigh of relief. A mere thirty minutes later someone knocked on her door. She asked suspiciously who he was and then let him in.

“We have to go bail him out!” she shrieked.

“That’s my job. Now tell me exactly what happened.” He took pictures of the place and asked numerous questions and he was surprised when she said she didn’t say anything or unlock her phone. “Good girl,” he said approvingly. And then he mused, “I wonder where he hid his phone.”

“He has a habit of making things appear and disappear. Are they gonna come back and arrest me?”

“No, that was just to scare you. They were looking for his phone. Did you ask if they had a warrant?”

“I thought about it, but what does that matter?”

“It matters when someone can afford to hire me,” he said and then he got the hell out of there.

 

When the sun came up she walked to Prom’s and let herself in. He was sprawled in bed and Emma was quiet and awake. She got in bed with them and played with the baby who waved her little chubby arms. She waited.

 

Prom smiled when he woke up. “Noct went to get breakfast?” He picked Emma up and kissed her.

“He got arrested.”

Prom shrugged. “Someone will bail him out.”

“ICE was there.”

He sat straight up. “What’d they say?”

“They were gonna deport him.”

They looked at each other and Prompto reached for his phone. “Shit, Iggy called,” he said. He called him back but then hung up. “No answer.”

“He’s on his way.”

“To get his prince,” Prom said bitterly.

“I know right? It must be nice to love someone that much.” She stood up.

“Where are you going?”

“Home.”

“Can you stay for a while?”

“To watch your baby?”

“Her aunt is picking her up.”

“So?”

“I thought…”

“What?”

“I thought Noct was going to talk to you.”

“About how much we love you?”

The baby cooed.

“Did you fuck him?”

“No.”

He laughed. “Why will you fuck him and not me?”

“I’m not going to anymore.”

“You sound like me.”

“It hurts when I have sex with you.”

He stared at her and said, “Yeah, my dick is big.”

“I put hickies on Noct. You were supposed to be really mad about that.”

“Psychological warfare.”

“Why didn’t you show him the video you made of me?”

“That’s private. Why’d you tell him?”

“He said…” she stopped.

“What?”

“He said he had a video of me and I thought…”

“Who—Oh.” Emma began to whine and he carried her to the living room and put her in a high chair. Liv followed and stood at the front door awkwardly.

“What does he do for a living?” she asked.

“Does it matter?” He got a bottle ready for her. “Thanks for being here. Otherwise she would have woken me up by screaming.” He sounded sad.

“Don’t worry, his lawyer’s on it.” She left.

**

Two days later when she got home from work Ignis came over and made out with her and used her wifi and made phone calls and played with Red and left to go do whatever the fuck he did.

 

Liv answered her phone and accepted the charges from the county jail.

“I’m sorry,” Noctis told her. “I tried to leave with them but they went crazy about my phone.”

“Where’d you hide it?”

“Up my ass, where else? No, just kidding. I have this…thing I can do.”

“What thing?”

“Dematerialization.”

“Can you materialize me the man of my dreams?”

“I did. But then I took him back.”

“Too fucking soon.”

“So can we fuck when I get out of here?”

“Never. Anyway, you might die before getting out.”

“Ouch.”

“So. You’re not getting deported?”

“What did I do to get deported?”

“I dunno, no one tells me anything around here.”

“No, I’m not getting deported.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m stronger than 90% of the people in here,” he bragged.

“How many jails have you been in?”

“Countless.”

“Is our time up yet?”

“I have extra minutes.”

“You always get extra. What about Prom?”

“What about him?”

“You saw him?”

“Duh.”

“Did he ask?”

Noctis laughed loudly. “About the hickies? Of course he did.”

“He didn’t think…”

“Oh my God, you’re stupid.”

“You think you can support Prom and a baby while you’re in jail?”

“Yes.”

“Why are we talking, again?”

“I’ve been thinking about the wedding—”

“I told you already.”

“You’ll be there,” he said confidently.

“Why would I tear my heart open?” she said and felt melodramatic.

“Sorry,” he said.

And because she couldn’t bear his apology she bragged about how Luna’s pussy tasted and hung up on him.

 

Noctis was held without bail for one week.

 

“I cannot stay long,” Ignis announced to Prom. “I have to deliver paperwork and meet with the lawyer again—”

“He’s getting deported?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get him out for you,” Ignis said and sighed heavily. He realized he laid it on too thick at Prom’s stricken face.

“If he can’t stay I can’t leave Emma,” Prom said.

“Everything will have a happy ending. For you.”

“What does that mean?”

“Exactly what I said.”

“I’m sorry, Iggy.”

“For what?”

“Noct.”

He ignored it. “Do you need anything before I leave?”

“No.”

He turned to go and then turned back. “How is the child?”

“Great! She’s good. I mean, she might be the smartest baby that ever did live.”

“I’m sure she is.” And the lack of snark in his voice made Prompto lean in and Ignis stepped back.

“I have to go.”

“Why?”

“I have to rescue your boyfriend.”

“This won’t take long.”

“I’m under strict orders to stay away from you.”

“From Liv?”

Ignis could barely contain his exasperation. “From Noctis.”

“You told him?”

“I assumed you did, or Olivia.”

“Nah, she’s not a narc. I guess one of them sensed all that sexual tension.”

“What sexual tension?”

Prom palmed Ignis’s half hard dick and kissed Ignis and their teeth knocked together and Ignis backed away to the door.

“So you’re saying that all I had to do was ask you to stop fucking Noctis and you would have done it?”

“Yes.”

“You are so full of shit, man.” Prom winked at him. “Whatever. Maybe I should take a vacation and fuck all the people you’re fucking out there.”

“I should go.”

“I’ll arm wrestle you for it,” Prom said and Ignis stopped. “Fair warning, I’m stronger than I look,” he bragged.

Ignis rolled up his sleeves and Prom moved a bunch of junk from his kitchen table. Their hands met and Prom closed his eyes and purred, “Ignis hands.”

“What?”

“Huh?”

It took a few minutes and all Ignis’s manpower to win, but he did. Prom sat back.

“Fuck,” he said.

Ignis got up. “Do you have anything to drink?” he asked.

“I just ran out.”

And without the brace of alcohol he walked to Prom’s bedroom. “This place is disgusting,” he said but noticed the sheets were fresh. He sat on the bed.

“I have someone coming in today.” Prom rummaged around and pulled out a joint and then rummaged around again. Ignis pulled out a monogrammed lighter.

“I thought you didn’t smoke?”

“It was a gift.”

“Everyone around here’s getting gifts except me,” he grumbled and inhaled while Ignis lit his joint. Once the cherry took hold he passed it and Ignis took it. He laid down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. They smoked and didn’t talk for a while and then Prom asked, “Did you have anything to do with Noct getting arrested?”

“No.”

“You’re not offended I asked?”

“No.”

“I trust you, Iggy. I know you’ve been taking good care of him.”

Ignis passed the joint and Prom took a last drag before dumping it. Ignis crawled on Prom and sat on his crotch and bent down to look closely at his face. Prom’s eyelashes fluttered and he blew into Ignis’s ear which gave him an instant boner. Prom’s hard on was right after. They kissed and Ignis pulled off Prom’s clothes before laying his own beside them.

Prom sucked his dick and then Ignis fingered him. He used a condom and fucked Prom on his back, watching those eyes. He finished and cleaned up. When he exited the bathroom Prom was lighting up again.

“Bring her here when you guys are done tonight.”

“Who?”

“Come on, Iggy.”

“Why would I do that?”

“You don’t care about my happiness?”

“Why don’t you harass her in your free time?”

“She likes you. You already know she won’t fuck me.”

“Good for her.”

“She has honor, unlike you.”

“Is that insult supposed to affect me?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll ask her, but if she says no—”

“Got it. When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow.”

“You’re not going to see Noct get out?”

“No.”

He was quiet a moment. “He’ll be pissed.”

“He has you to comfort him.” And Ignis left.

 

Ignis changed into a suit and met with the lawyer again. On his way to deliver some bribes he called Olivia and asked if she would like to go with him to a poker game.

“How do you know people here to play poker?”

“I get around.”

“Obviously. I dunno how to play.”

“You’ll hang out with the women in the kitchen.”

She didn’t even sound insulted. She giggled and said okay. When he showed up she was dressed in skinny jeans and a band t-shirt and she scowled at him.

“Why didn’t you—”

“I’ll watch you change.” And then he picked out a little black dress for her to wear.

“Why do I need to be there wearing this?”

“You really don’t know anything about poker, my dear.”

She rolled her eyes and grabbed her wedges.

“I’ve been waiting for you to ask about the bag I came in here with.”

“You’re gonna make me dinner?” she smirked. He handed her the bag. Inside was a gift box. She undid it carefully and opened the shoe box.

“Jesus,” she said. “My first Loboutins. I made it in life!”

“If you would have bought these yourself, that would be true.”

“How do you know what size I wear?”

“I know everything.”

“What do I have to do to keep these?”

“You already did it.”

 

Liv discovered that Ignis was even more crazy about his hair than Prompto and Noctis combined. She waited a half hour while he used her flat iron to smooth out the miniature imperfections.

“Can I put eyeliner on you?”

“No.”

“Can you put it on yourself?”

After a moment he said no.

“That’s a lie.” After a moment she said, “Is that a bald spot?”

He turned the iron off and looked at her. “Let’s go.”

 

She balked when she saw what he was driving.

“What is this?”

“A truck.” He opened the door.

“My daddy made me promise him on his dying day to never get into a Ford.”

“Didn’t he die last year?” Ignis asked. “It’s a little early to be making jokes.”

“I wasn’t joking.”

And that was the first time she saw him look shocked.

“My whole life he was either really funny or really angry. And with the meds he was on during hospice…” And she shrugged and kissed him and he grabbed her ass while he helpfully helped her into the Ford F450 BUILT FORD TOUGH.

 

“Ignis? _You’re_ Ignis?” the older gentleman stared at him open mouthed and then glanced at Liv.

“Yessir,” Ignis said and they swept in. The room was silenced at their arrival—about twelve people in their late forties and fifties, all casually dressed.

“I’m gonna be drunk by the time you’re through,” she said through her teeth.

“No, you won’t,” he said at normal volume.

 

A woman, presumably the hostess, came up to take Olivia by the hand. “The boys will be getting started now,” she said.

“Please don’t allow her to drink too much,” Ignis told her and she widened her eyes at him.

“Of course, I won’t,” she said.

“Why do people listen to him?” Liv said as the woman poured her a tiny glass of white wine.

“How old is he?” she asked instead of answering.

“Thirty.”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-five.”

“Jesus.” And they introduced themselves and Liv listened to the women complain about their lives. One of them asked what she did for a living with a giant smirk on her face and Liv answered that she worked at a nonprofit and the ladies talked about helping the “less fortunate” and Liv said that a lot of people were only one paycheck away from being broke and one of them rolled her eyes at her and Liv realized that she sounded like a fucking hypocrite, dressed the way she was.

 

After a cruel and unusual length of time Ignis rushed into the living room.

“Ladies,” he said politely and then grabbed Liv by the hand. “We have to go.”

She had zero questions but then she heard a man yell. The guy who had let them in stomped in.

“You hustled me,” he snarled. “Gimme my pa’s watch back.”

“You gambled that?” his wife screamed.

“He offered your ring, too, but it wasn’t on the table, so I won’t be taking that,” Ignis smirked as they backed up. The other men came in, most visibly amused.

“You cheated!”

“I never cheat at cards, old man,” Ignis said and side stepped neatly from a swing. They were out the door but the man was after them.

“Fuck you! Where did you find this fucker!” he hollered at Liv.

“Do not address her,” he said in the second scariest voice she had ever heard and one of the men stopped the dude from rushing him again. Ignis opened the door for her and he turned on the truck.

“You’re really gonna keep his watch?” she said as she watched Ignis roll over the man’s manicured landscaping to hit the street again.

“Yes. I’ll leave it to you and if I hear you gave it back to him I’ll be very disappointed, Olivia.”

“How would you hear that? You’re an asshole.”

“Who said I wasn’t? How much did you drink?”

“How much money did you win?”

He started pulling cash out his inside pockets, and his outside pockets and it was glorious.

 

“Why are we here?”

“Prompto wants to see you.”

“I don’t care. I thought you were leaving tomorrow?”

“I am.”

“You’re wasting your time.”

After a moment he said, “You should say good bye to him.”

“Who?”

And he didn’t answer.

“I don’t always have to listen to you.”

“Of course you don’t.”

After a moment she said meanly, “You’re smart enough to know that Noctis always wins, right?”

“You are…very right.” After a moment he said, “Tell me you want to go home.”

She studied her fingernails. He leaned over and kissed her.

“You fucked him, didn’t you,” she said.

“Of course I did.”

And that was fucking funny.

 

Up the elevator.

“Is it too late to ask if you’re gonna be a gentleman?”

Ignis looked at her and she got scared and he stuck his hand between her legs and she grabbed his wrist with both hands as he worked his fingers through the crotch of her panties and found what he was looking for. He let go right before the doors opened.

“Did you just…grab me by the pussy?”

“Men can do that in the States, you didn’t hear?” He extended his arm and she took it, her legs shaky.

 

Prom let them in.

“You guys look…” he said.

“I know,” Liv said. “The place looks great.” She had to look him straight in the eyes, which sucked because they were so beautiful, and reminded her of all the times he said she was beautiful, which was obviously a lie. She had to look him in the eyes because he was wearing white jeans, the likes of which she had never seen before. This fucker was wearing ripped white jeans and a faded black tee and she was about to fuck this dude while that other dude watched.

“Liv?”

“Huh?”

“I hired someone to clean,” he said sheepishly. “Do you guys want anything to drink? I have…crown royal.”

“The only thing Canadians have to be proud of,” Ignis said.

“Do not disparage my neighbors from up North,” Liv said.

“What are you going to do about it?”

Liv addressed Prom. “I have to ask permission before I drink.”

Prom didn’t miss a beat. “Iggy?”

“She can have one shot.” He sat on the couch.

She sat at the kitchen table with her legs crossed. She watched Prom mix the liquor with a half can of Pepsi. Prom walked over to his living room and sat in his armchair.

“Liv. Your drink is over here.” Prom waved her over.

“No. You suck.”

“Olivia.” Ignis said.

“What?” she asked rudely.

“Don’t be cruel.”

“Why not?”

Ignis shrugged. “She has a point.”

“You guys are evil,” Prom said.

Ignis patted the seat next to him and after a moment she walked over. He put his arm around her and whispered in her ear, “Be nice.”

“I just want a kiss. Just one,” Prom said.

“You kiss him,” she said, looking at Ignis.

“He didn’t ask me.”

“Can I have a kiss, Iggy?” Prom said with a lilt in his voice and they both looked at him.

Ignis shifted in his seat and Liv kissed the side of his neck.

“Olivia first,” he finally answered.

She walked over and bent over but Prompto made her sit on his lap, her legs hanging over the arm. She breathed his scent.

“That’s better,” he said. And then he waited. They waited a long time like that and then finally Liv put her arms around him and kissed him.

“Iggy, she didn’t open her mouth,” he whined.

Ignis cleared his throat. “Olivia.”

She kissed Prompto again and she thought what it would be like to kiss him every day until she died. Then she let go and he let her go. She wobbled back to the couch and sat away from Ignis.

“Maybe I should give you two some time,” he said, looking at her. She finally met his eyes.

“Your turn.”

After a while Ignis stood up. Prom waited for him, expectant. He bent over in front of Prom.

“Nope. On his lap, like me,” Liv said.

He huffed but he did it, his legs dangling. They kissed for a moment. Ignis disengaged and pulled out a handkerchief. Prompto looked at Liv and she ran to the crown royal in the kitchen and he chased her and picked her up over his shoulder, her ass in the air. She held onto the bottle. She was gonna need it. Ignis looked at her and bit his lip and then she was in Prom’s bedroom.

 

His sheets were fresh and didn’t smell like Noct or Ignis but she noticed a shirt of Noctis’s and she kicked it off the bed.

“You should put up his shit before having me over.”

“That’s mine, he just steals it.”

He kissed her again and they humped each other like teens. He made love to her, their chests pressed against each other and his lips locked on hers and his tongue in her mouth.

After he said, “I love fucking you.”

“What a compliment.”

“You’re…” he said. And then he got up and got her something to clean up with. He pulled on his jeans but left off his shirt. He got back in bed and watched her look for her panties.

“You’re not getting them back,” he finally said, and she pulled on her dress over her bra.

“I’m gonna go home.”

“You should stay away from Iggy. He’s controlling.”

“Says the dude in love with Noctis?”

“Who do you think taught him to be a freak?”

“Whatever, breeder. What are you worried about? You think he’ll give up Japan for me?”

“I did.”

She laughed loudly. “And look at how amazing your life is.”

“You know, most women would take me anyway they could.”

“For every beautiful man there’s a woman tired of fucking him.”

Staring at her he bellowed, “Iggy bring me a lighter.” Ignis knocked and he rolled his eyes. “Come in.”

As he entered Ignis looked her up and down. “Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

Prom had pulled the fattest blunt she had ever seen out of a shoebox and Ignis lit it for him. “This is my victory blunt,” he coughed and handed it over to Ignis.

“What if I didn’t come up?”

“Then it would have been my cry myself to sleep blunt.”

“I thought you didn’t smoke,” Liv addressed Ignis.

“I don’t,” he said and inhaled and handed it back over. He moved to back out and Prom grabbed his wrist and told him to sit down and he did.

“You guys have never heard of polyamory?”

“Is that when you cheat on someone you’re dating?”

“Liv.”

“I don’t believe in it,” she said.

“Why not?”

“Who takes care of you when you’re old and sick?”

“Noct’s money.”

“Ha ha.”

“C’mon Iggy. You don’t believe in it?”

“No.”

“You guys are hypocrites.”

“How so?” she asked indignantly.

He looked at Ignis. “Tell Liv she can’t go home. She’s moving in.”

“Why would I say that?”

“Tell her…tell her I love her.”

“How do I know that?”

“’Cause I told you.” He handed the blunt over.

“When was that?”

“The only two times we’ve ever fucked.”

Ignis coughed and handed the blunt back over.

“Prove it,” Liv said.

Prom closed his eyes and inhaled the smoke. “How?”

“Break up with Noctis.”

After a moment Ignis said, “He’ll get over you.”

And then he laughed, and then Liv laughed and then Prom laughed. And then she stood up and said she wanted to go home and Prom waved her goodbye without moving from his bed.

 

On the short ride home Liv asked if Ignis thought she was a whore.

“Of course not.”

She asked if he wanted to come up.

“Of course I do.”

She took a shower. She fell asleep on the couch with Ignis and she barely woke up when he got her to bed. He didn’t fuck her. He left and flew home and she cried while Red laid on her lap.

**

Noctis got out of county jail and Prom picked him up. He twirled Prom around, who blushed.

“Where’s Emma?”

“With her mama.”

“Soon you’re going to be saying y’all.”

“I already did the other day.”

On the drive home he asked about his new phone and Prom said he didn’t know anything about it and after a moment he mentioned that Ignis already went home.

From Prom’s phone Noct called his father and then texted Iggy thanks.

When he got his new phone he texted Liv but she didn’t answer. He didn’t text Ignis.

 

Noct had to wait a few days but then everything aligned.

 

“Emma, oh no!” Prom said. He changed the baby in the car and they made it to their reservation. Their table was in the kitchen area and the chef introduced each plate. Prom was happy. He had his family.

 Noct hardly ate and hardly drank.

“Are you okay?” Prom asked, and the baby gurgled loudly.

“I love you,” Noct said. And he felt slightly ill as he stood and then got on one knee.

Prom gasped and looked at Emma as if she could tell him what was going on.

“I love you and I want to get married and I’ll take care of Emma because she’s my heart like you.”

Prom was bawling as he opened the watch box.

“I didn’t know what kind of ring you wanted,” he said sheepishly.

A few people clapped but a few others abruptly exited the kitchen.

Noct put the watch on Prom who said, “Thank God.”

“That’s a great yes,” one of the waiters laughed.

“You know my wrist size?”

“Yeah. They’re smaller than mine.”

Prom groaned loudly.

 

On the drive home Prom asked about Ignis.

“What about him?”

“So we’ll pretend that you haven’t been fucking him this entire time?”

Noct didn’t say anything.

“How did he take it?”

“I didn’t tell him.”

“Bullshit.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“The truth.”

“He cried.”

“You told Liv the night you got arrested?”

“Yeah.”

“How was that?”

“I think Ignis told her before I did. She was okay at first but then she said some nasty things.”

“Like?”

He didn’t answer. “She said she wasn’t going to the wedding.”

“Okay,” Prom said. “Gladio?”

Noct flushed.

“Tell the truth.”

“He said I didn’t deserve to be with you.”

“I wonder why. Dare I ask about Luna?”

“She wouldn’t return my calls.”

“So we have no one to stand up for us at our wedding.”

“Dad’s going.”

He finally said, “It doesn’t have to be traditional…Noct?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you going to be faithful?”

Noct laughed loudly.

Prom said, “You fuck anyone who moves.”

“ _What?”_

“Luna doesn’t even know that you slept with half her friends, including her _best friend_.”

“That was a long time ago.”

“I had a good thing going and then you wrecked that too.”

“At least you guys didn’t have a wedding date set.”

“Liv doesn’t even _like_ you.”

“Then why’d she fuck me so much?”

“Because I was around. How long did Luna stick around after I left?” his voice cracked.

Noct looked over and noticed that Prom was crying. “Oh my God, really?” he said. “Be careful, Emma’s in the car.”

Prom opened his mouth to yell but then gained control. He said in a low voice, “I love you Noctis. But I don’t want you making a bunch of promises you won’t keep.”

They were home. The baby started to cry and Prom got her upstairs and Noctis got her to sleep. He didn’t want to move with the baby on his chest but Prom got her in her crib. He waited for Prom to come back but when he didn’t he went to take care of Emma’s father.

 

“I’ve always loved you, Prom.”

“Then why’d you ask Luna to marry you?”

“I never thought I’d marry a dude.”

“That hurts.”

“It’s called the real world.”

“Why did you pick me over Ignis?”

“Because you have blue eyes and blonde hair? I don’t know, what do you want me to say?”

“Doing porn was a big old fuck you,” Prom said. He watched Noct’s jaw clench.

“I know,” he finally said.

“Are you going to be nice to Emma?”

“Fuck you for asking that.”

“You’ve been shitty this whole time.”

“I wasn’t excited that you were having a baby with some hillbilly?”

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about.”

“You’re stupid.”

“You’re stupid, you fucking asshole,” Prom hissed. “You probably have ten kids you don’t even know about—”

“Nope,” Noct said.

“You’re probably shooting blanks—"

“How do you know that?”

“It is _statistically_ impossible—"

“Most of the time I don’t come when I’m with women.”

“What?”

“Huh?”

“So you’re gay?”

After a while Noct said, “I never thought I’d have a kid.”

They didn’t say anything for a while.

Prom said, “Do what you want, just don’t lie to me.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

“And I don’t want you fucking Ignis. Or Liv, or anyone.” He didn’t care that he contradicted himself.

“Okay, Prom.” And then Noct held him as he cried and they went to sleep.

 

Prom woke up in the morning and wanted to text Liv about the engagement and then he realized how stupid that impulse was.

**

Cindy brought it up when she picked up the baby. Noct was out.

“Mm, that’s a fancy watch,” she remarked.

“I’m getting married,” he said quickly and cursed inwardly.

“With a watch? To Liv?” she sat down. “I thought she hated you?”

“No.”

“Some floozy in California? A porn star?”

“Noctis. I’m marrying Noctis.”

She took a moment to absorb that.

“I guess…”

“Are you going to have a problem with that?”

“Wait, y’all are getting _married_? Like, to each other?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s…ungodly.”

“Haven’t you had sex with Liv?”

“Do you see us getting married?”

“Okay.”

“When?”

“We haven’t set a date yet.”

“ _Here,_ right? ‘Cause you’re not taking Emma—”

“Of course not. But maybe we could get her a passport—”

“She is never getting a passport. Unless she’s eighteen and can go get it her damn self. You know that movie? It had what’s-her-face in it. The dude was from the Middle East and the mom, she was married to the dude, so this mom just went toodling off with her daughter to the Middle East, with her husband, only to discover—”

“I get it.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know that boy very well but he better get used to being around here.”

He played with the baby. “We should really get things finalized with the lawyers—”

“I got your lawyer money.”

“I don’t care about that.”

“Yeah, you’re about to be rich, huh? You’ll never have to work another day in your life. You better not turn Emma against me.”

“You would be the one to do that.”

“Oh please. I love my baby and I want her with her father.”

He sagged with relief.

“You better not fuck me over, Prompto. I know you got money now.”

“I would never,” he said humbly.

She stared at him. “I know you wouldn’t.”

“Why are you so dressed up?” he finally asked.

“I’m taking Liv on a date after I take Emma to my auntie’s.”

“I can keep her,” he said and she looked surprised.

“I don’t know when I’ll be back—”

“It’s fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Gladio hardly gets a mention, I gotta wrap this shit up.  
> The wedding is next!! And then I think that shall be it.


	9. the fricking end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wrap it up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Muhsinah “Luv W Luv”  
> VV Brown “Like Fire”  
> Rhye “Taste”  
> Zero 7 “Distractions”  
> Massive Attack “Girl I Love You”   
> Crim3s “Still Goin”  
> Banks “Brain”   
> IAMX “Body Politics”  
> Kelela “A Message”  
> New Order “Blue Monday”  
> Tinashe “Bated Breath”

Cindy stared at Olivia and said, “Push up your boobs.”

“What?”

“You heard me.” She complained about her bestie’s Loboutins as she stuffed her feet into another pair of Liv’s heels. They pregamed with a bottle of Belvedere, a souvenir from Noct.

“I’m mad at you,” Cindy finally said.

“Why?”

“Prom’s marrying that dude!”

“Yep.”

“Are you sad?”

“Why would I be sad?”

They stared at each other.

Cindy swept her hands over her face and changed her demeanor. “Ready to go?” she purred.

“This better be a real date,” Liv warned.

“Or what?”

 

Cindy drove like a bat out of hell.

“We can’t afford to eat here,” Liv said when she stopped at the restaurant.

“Correction: we can tonight.”

“I brought no money with me,” Liv warned. “I know how you like to forget your wallet.”

“That happened like once. Besides, this is to make up for everything that happened.”

“I’m getting the most expensive thing on the menu.”

“Please do.”

 

They showed up at the restaurant hand in hand and drew attention instantly. Cindy waved away the maître d’. She spotted him easily. And she almost fainted. Snapchat did not lie. The man really was perfect. They walked up, Cindy at the lead holding Liv’s hand.

“Stop whimpering,” she hissed.

“Ladies?” His eyes widened.

“Cloud! Darling!” Cindy announced. Liv moaned, and she pinched her.

The next thing he said was, “I don’t pay for sex.”

“We look that good right?” Cindy said in her fuck me voice and she pulled out the chair for her friend and sat her in it and then swept into her own chair and pushed her hair back.

“Perfect,” he said.

“This is Natasha and I am Svetlana—”

“Cynthia,” Liv whimpered.

“ _What, Olivia?”_ Cindy said through her teeth while rubbing her foot on his leg. He smirked at her.

“I—”

The waiter took their drink order; Cloud had Perrier and Cindy had to order white wine for them because Liv stopped speaking until the waiter trotted away.

“Where do you come from?” Liv asked him.

“Where do _you_ come from?” Cloud answered and winked without smiling.

“You’re married?” Liv asked stupidly and gestured at the ring. Cindy pinched her again.

“I’m a widower.”

“Ah ha!” Liv stood. “What is her name?”

“You want to know my dead wife’s name?”

“Yes.”

Staring at her he said, “No.”

“She hasn’t taken her medication today,” Cindy said loudly and pulled her back down.  

“Are we ready to order?” he asked.

“I’m not eating,” Liv said loudly.

Cindy groaned.

“Let’s _do this_!” Liv said. “I don’t…understand…” she held a hand to her head like a southern belle and Cindy followed suit. “Do you cosplay?”

“What is this term called cosplay?”

“Get this man a check!” Cindy announced to no one. “Let’s go to the ladies room… _Liv._ ”

“I ain’t budging,” Liv said. She looked like a dog with a bone. She was looking around and twitching. “I’m not letting this dude out of my sight until the deed is done. Hold it.”

“What is wrong with you?” she hissed again.

“Should I be flattered or am I about to be robbed?” He didn’t seem concerned either way.

“That’s racist!” Cindy said and they looked at her. She shrugged. “Racist against Southerners, I _meant._ Y’all making me nervous.”

“I’m on a cash budget,” Liv said and pulled out two twenties and they hauled ass to Cindy’s car. Or rather, Liv grabbed his ass and not to be outdone Cindy reached for his package and he smoothly exited from their groping. “You have _combat training!”_ Liv said hysterically and Cindy told her to drive but Liv said she forgot how to and hollered _SHOTGUN_ only she did not get in the passenger seat she got on top of Cloud and suffocated him, and while Cindy complained loudly her bestie announced to Cloud, “She owes me one, she had my ex-boyfriend’s baby” and the women laughed for a while and Liv made out with Cloud again and then she contorted herself and started _sucking his dick_ and then Cindy accidently ran a red light.

“Ahh…oh..kay…Where are we headed? I have a hotel room.”

“That doesn’t seem very safe,” Cindy said. “We’re going to Liv’s.”

“What about my safety,” Liv giggled and then started sucking again. 

“You can blindfold me,” Cloud said. “Ah, um, but just to make it clear. I’m not from here and I’m not interested in any future dates.”

“Well fuck you too, sweatheart,” Cindy said.

“We’re gonna get on like…like…like a house on fire,” he finally got out. Cindy ignored his eyes in the rearview mirror and she ignored his hand on the back of Liv’s head, then on her back, and then on her ass…

 

In her house Liv grabbed the Belvedere and Cindy pushed Cloud on the couch and sat on his lap and they kissed. Red ran up.

“Wanna know my dog’s name?” Liv asked Cloud. She kept tapping him on the shoulder and giggling and swigging from the bottle while she watched them.

“No,” he said around Cindy’s lips.

“Who cares?” Cindy moaned.

“You guys taste like candy,” he said.

He pulled Cindy’s skirt up and Liv yanked off her thong by the crotch while Cindy squealed. She put her mouth on her pussy and Cindy moaned while she made out with Cloud.

“Olivia,” Cloud said and she jerked up and wiped her mouth. Cloud pulled her to him by the neck and they made out again and then he went down on Cindy.

“Who’s first?” he announced, wiping his mouth. He pulled off Cindy’s top and then they looked at Liv.

“Huh?”

“One on my dick, one of my face,” he said like it was obvious. And then he held up condoms and smirked at them.

Cindy and Liv looked at each other.

“Take it off!” Liv ordered.

“You first.”

“Nope,” Cindy backed up her friend.

He took off his clothes and they stared at him.

“Ladies,” he prompted and then Liv took off her top and skirt but she left her underwear and heels on. Cindy whispered to Liv and Liv told her to go first. “Take it off,” Cloud ordered Liv and she giggled and pulled off her underwear. Cindy put the condom on him and then pushed his dick in in. Liv tickled her ass while Cindy rocked on his dick and then Cloud told Liv to get on with it and so she sat on his face facing Cindy as guided by his hands and then almost immediately fell over. Cindy tried to make it last. But she hadn’t had dick in a while and it went so well with her clit that she orgasmed while Liv licked her tits. She fell over, gasping.

“You’re not done yet,” he told Cindy and Liv giggled as she got in position.

“She doesn’t like it when you keep going after her clit comes.”

“Then she shouldn’t have come.”

Cloud stuck his tongue in her ass and she screamed while Liv laughed and bounced around cowgirl style. Every time she was close Cloud would thrust to mess her up and she started to get irritated. “Cindy!” she huffed. Cindy saw her but was too busy drooling to be of much assistance and so Liv did a “straight face orgasm” and it worked. Cloud looked mildly irritated.

He sat up. “Who’s finishing me off?” he asked.

Cindy pointed to her best friend.

Cloud grabbed her while Liv laughed and he put her legs straight in the air as he settled in. Her legs shook so much that he had to bend them at the knee and he put his weight on them as he moved back and forth.

“Hit me,” she gasped out.

“No,” he said.

So Cindy had to crawl over and do it and she slapped Liv across the face and she screamed quite loudly and Cloud pulled out and yanked off the condom and squirted everywhere and it was glorious.

 

“I’m so sorry to ask—” Liv said sheepishly.

“What?”

“Can we take a picture together? My friend won’t believe that I fucked you.”

“Who?” Cindy said. “Prom? Or one of those other dudes?”

“Let’s make it quick,” he said lazily. She was already filming when he said that.

“Gorgeous.” And then she took a few pictures. “One selfie with us?” she asked. He didn’t smile for the camera. She immediately resolved to print off multiple copies and put some in the gun safe at her house. And then she remembered she wouldn’t be able to tell Prom. She had blocked him for her own sanity.  

**

“Maybe we should just go to the courthouse,” Prom suggested and rolled his eyes at the look on Noct’s face.

“We’re going to hire someone and tell them what we want.”

“What do we want?”

“You’ll wear a white suit and—”

“I’m not wearing a white suit.”

“The theme will be black and white.”

“And red.”

“And red?”

“And red.”

They looked at each other.

 

They went to a wedding planner. She asked about the wedding party and Noctis said that everyone hated them.  

“Surely not.”

“Between the both of us we’ve fucked everyone we know. Who we’re not related to.”

“Thanks for the clarification,” Prom said dryly.

“It doesn’t have to be traditional. Y’all can use your lady friends—”

“We’ve fucked them too,” Noct said. And after a brief pause, they made it through the rest of the session.

 

They went out to eat and Prom got wasted while Noct kept it to a respectable three drink limit. On the way home Prom decided to stop speaking and Noct’s GPS didn’t load and soon they were on a back road somewhere. Prom jumped out the car and Noct had to pull over and chase him while being scared that hillbillies would shoot them, and then Noct lost him. When he finally gave up and made it back to the car Prom was finishing up a joint.

“I thought I heard someone calling for help,” he said and laughed.

Noct was furious and didn’t speak to him on the way home, his GPS now loading.

 

Noct showered and when he reached for a towel to dry off the bathroom door opened and Prom hauled him out. Noct didn’t fight him. Prom threw him on the bed.

“I’m cold,” he complained and tried to reach for a blanket while Prompto pulled off his own clothes.

“Who cares?” Prom said and then jumped on Noct and rutted against him for a while, their hardons soon pressing against each other. Prom wouldn’t kiss him and that hurt his feelings.

“I’m surprised you can get it up,” Noct said. Prom smiled and bit Noct’s bottom lip. Prom rolled off him and then pulled him up by the hair and forced his dick in his mouth. Noct moaned as he sucked.

“Bend over,” Prom ordered and then he licked Noct’s ass for a while and then he locked his legs around his and he pressed in without any prep and Noct attempted to remain silent but it was impossible and Prom pulled out and spat on his dick again which was really not good enough. He took his time and was silent.

“Prom. Prom. Prompto. Please. Please. Please.” Noct sobbed as he came. Prom pressed Noct’s face against the pillows as he came himself.

They didn’t talk to each other as they cleaned up.

**

Liv received an invitation in the mail. It was red, white and black. She knew exactly what it was because it looked like something only a rich asshole getting married would send. She opened it but she didn’t get past Noct’s name before methodically tearing it up and throwing it in the toilet, which expended a lot of energy because the paper was fucking thick.

 

A while later Luna texted and asked if they could meet up while she and Nyx were in town. Liv said sure. Luna asked what she was wearing to the wedding. Liv said she wasn’t going and sent sobbing emojis. Luna called her.

“Hey.”

“Hi, Olivia.”

“I don’t even know the date, to be honest. I threw it out.”

After a brief silence Luna said, “I think I know how you feel.”

They laughed and then Liv started sobbing. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“Don’t apologize. The only reason we’re going is because…it turns out my friend married my half brother. She’s attending.”

“Sounds like an exciting story.”

“Only if you’re not living it.”

“So. What’s your boyfriend wearing?”

Luna laughed. She lowered her voice. “He just got out the shower…”

“Mmm,” she moaned. “We gonna have a good time when y’all here?”

“The best.”

******

(Two months later)

Fourth of July weekend

Ignis’ girlfriend was upset he was on yet another international expedition. She was exhausting but so beautiful. He bought her some stuff and entertained her grandma. Ignis flew in for the wedding with Regis and the entourage and escaped as soon as he could, the day before the wedding.

He had asked Olivia to be his date; she had told him no and sent him thirty emojis that made no sense. Prompto told him neither Cindy or Olivia had RSVP’d but Cindy agreed Emma could be there until that evening before their honeymoon.

 

Ignis texted Olivia. _Where are you?_

_Where are YOU?_

_You’re not home._

_How do you know?_

And he called her and she answered.

“Yes, Ignis?” she said stiffly.

“Where are you?”

“With Cindy.”

“Where?”

She told him.

“I’ll be there in forty-five minutes.”

“You’ll get pulled over,” she warned.

“Don’t move.”

“That’s impossible, Ignis.”

“Don’t leave.”

“Or what?”

“You do _not_ want to find out, Olivia.” He ended the call.

 

He drove eighty miles. He took an exit and went a mile down a gravel road and made it to Cindy’s cousin’s house; he endured loud country music and a drunk cowboy (Cindy’s cousin) in a Confederate flag tshirt before he found drunk Cindy on a trampoline with a teenager. They pointed to where Olivia was drunk and chasing Red, a German Shepherd puppy, and a pack of children near a dilapidated treehouse. Red made a beeline towards him and Olivia turned around and scowled at him. She was wearing the same outfit as Cindy: tiny jean shorts, a white tank, a trucker hat that had an American flag on it, and cowboy boots.

“Time to go.” He took Olivia by the hand and Cindy kissed her cousin’s babies good bye. They shot off a firecracker for good measure and one child clung to Olivia, sobbing. Her mother sheepishly tore the child away. But another little boy ran up and kicked Ignis in the shin. The cowboy hauled him up, smacked his butt, sat him down and told him to apologize.

“I sowwy,” the little one said, looking like an evil cherub.

“I accept your apology,” Ignis said.

“Y’all goin’ on a tour of our little town?” the cowboy asked, instantly jovial again, and hugged Liv and Cindy goodbye. “There’s a dead armadilla by the school. The kids were poking it.”

“Armadill _o_ ,” Cindy said, disgusted.

“That’s what happens when girls get a little bit of education. They get uppity.”

“Then what’s my problem?” his wife asked.

“Oh boy, I ain’t falling for that.” He glanced at Ignis. “The shirt? You ain’t from around here. You can’t fool me.”

“A fool cain’t get fooled again,” Olivia jeered.

“Former President Bush was a great man!” he hollered back and turned back to Ignis. “Ya heard of Free bird? That’s what the Confederate flag stands for. Free bird.”

 

“This car is ridiculous,” Olivia announced at the Cadillac SUV. “You’re making the…climate change ozone shit disappear. Oh wait…”

“It’s the best part about being here,” Ignis said.

“What about all the fine ass we have to offer?”

“What about the guns?” Cindy asked.

“I get guns and ass wherever I go.”

Cindy hauled Red into the car. Olivia warned him that they would have to stop at her house so Cindy could pick up her car.

“She is in no position to drive.”

“That’s why her cousin picked us up.”

“Prom’s gonna take my baby to China!” Cindy announced while cuddling Red.

“Japan,” Ignis and Olivia corrected at the same time.

Cindy ignored them. “I didn’t even know the gays could get married here. What happened to good old fashioned morals?”

“Like an unmarried woman shitting out a baby?”

Cindy unbuckled and got real close in Liv’s face. “The baby comes out the vagina, Livvy. The vagiiiiiiina.”

“Oh really?”

“And you should be grateful to me. Remember the last date we had?”

“Got it,” she said loudly and to shut her the fuck up she kissed her.

“You should suck his dick,” Cindy suggested when she came up for air.

“Okay!”

“Not right now, ladies.”

“Yes.”

“It’s not even hard,” Ignis said.

Cindy moved to poke it and Olivia screamed at her. “Don’t touch him!”

“Well damn,” she smirked and backed off.

Ignis was distracted by the commotion and swerved just a bit and someone honked at them.

“We all dead in hell!” Cindy screamed.

“I’m in heaven!” Olivia hollered.

“And yet we’re all very much alive,” Ignis said.

“Jesus take the wheel!” Olivia ordered.

“Take it from my hands!” Cindy shrieked.

“I saw Jesus coming on down from the sky,” she sang.

“I haven’t heard that one!” Cindy said.

“It’s an old Negro spiritual.”

“Swing lowwwwww,” Cindy sang. “Sweet chair—"

“This is my exit!” she said and he screeched that way.

She made him stop at a shack with rusted washing machines in the front yard. She ran out with two jars of honey, let herself in the shack, and ran back out and threw herself back in the SUV.

“What was that about?” he asked.

“None of your goddamn business,” she said. “Did Cindy touch you?”

“I’ll touch whoever I damn well please,” Cindy said.

And then they made it to Olivia’s cabin. It was impressive.

“Who built this?” Ignis asked.

“My daddy’s daddy.”

“Nobody gives a fuck you have a daddy,” Cindy said.

“Shut up!” Liv screamed. “Nobody invited you along.”

“Nobody invited him, either,” she answered indignantly.

 

Ignis walked around outside with Red while the ladies played quarters inside. For some reason the place felt familiar to him. He heard a crash and he ran back and the women were fighting and Cindy was clearly winning until Olivia shoved her into a closet door and the knob got in her back and she fell over, screaming, and was about to attack again when Ignis picked Olivia up and threw her in a bedroom.

“Ladies,” he said.  

Cindy rolled around until he heard a pop and she screamed in relief.

“Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” she jumped up and looked for the liquor bottle.

He went back to the room. “Olivia?” she was rummaging around with a super Nintendo.

“Someone came up in here and stole my plugins!” she said indignantly so Ignis helped her. He found the missing piece in the crack between the TV stand and the wall.

“Why are you here?” she asked.

“The wedding.”

“Duh. I mean, why are you _here_?”

“I need a date.”

“You could have brought anyone you wanted.”

“They want you both to attend.”

“Who?”

He didn’t answer.

“I don’t understand why _I_ have to go.”

“If you go she will.”

“Why didn’t you fuck me last time you were here?”

“What’s the answer you want to hear?”

And she ignored him. Cindy brought in some candy and they ate like they had never fought.

Olivia whispered something to Cindy.

“You can’t get it up?” Cindy asked Ignis loudly.

He didn’t respond.

They heard honking and Cindy jumped up and squealed. “Bye bitches!” she grabbed her stuff.

“Will you return later?” Ignis asked her.

“Duh.”

“Gladiolus wants to see you.”

She pirouetted in glee but then collapsed dramatically. “I don’t have anything to wear,” she said. “So I can’t go anyway.”

“I have something figured out,” Ignis promised. She glanced at Olivia before leaving.

“I thought we were on good terms,” he said to Olivia.

“Nope.”

“Would you like to spend the night out here?” he asked.

“I don’t like to.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Do you want me to take you home?”

“No.”

“Okay.” A stalemate. “Are you hungry?”

“Starving.”

“Where do you want to go?”

“Let me drive.”

“No.”

 

They drove into “town” and ate at a restaurant connected to a gas station.

“You’re not gonna complain this isn’t a five star restaurant?”

“Michelin stars only go up to three.”

“Jesus Christ,” she said.

Ignis ordered exactly what she ordered: fried catfish, fried okra and a whole pecan pie.

“So y’all want two pies?” the waitress asked.

“Yes,” Ignis said and Olivia laughed. “Next time I’m back we should go camping.” He winced and then tried to cover it up. He wasn’t supposed to be making future dates.

“Ouch!” she said loudly. “Camping with who?”

“You and me.”

“You…camp?”

“Why does that surprise you?”

“Why is my surprise surprising?”

“Is that a no?”

“Maybe.”

Their food came out. To change the subject he said, “I’m surprised that you haven’t sold your land.”

“I’ll starve to pay the taxes on it when I’m on Social Security.”

“Oh, you won’t be getting any Social Security.”

“And why not?”

He grimaced. “America is about to explode.”

“Our explosions are the best.”

“But you don’t want kids.”

“What?”

“To pass the land onto.”

“Who said I didn’t want kids? I have a few more years before I have to really worry about it.”

“How many abortions have you had?”

She sputtered on her Dr. Pepper sip. “Zero. But it shouldn’t really matter if I’ve had one every month since age…”

“Yes?”

“I’m not falling for that. How many abortions have _you_ paid for?”

“Zero.”

“Do you believe in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?”

“Yes.”

“We are amazing Christians.”

“We can look down on everyone else.”

“Isn’t that the point?” she nodded. “What denomination are you?”

“Protestant.”

“Gross. But it could be worse.”

“How?”

“You could be Catholic.”

They finished eating. He stacked the pies.

They walked out to the SUV and then she bolted and barfed near a ditch. A passing truck honked at her and she waved back and wiped her mouth. She trotted back over.

“I feel ten times better,” she announced. “Now I can drink some more.”

“No,” Ignis said.

“A dude told me once, what are you gonna do about it?”

“You don’t have any leverage.”

“I don’t?” She stopped at the SUV and Ignis felt for the keys—and they were missing. “Excellent,” she said in a creepy voice and tapped her fingers together.

“What do you want?”

“Is it not obvious?” she started to do the macarena and a grandma in a van honked at her and the kids in the back waved. “America is the greatest nation on earth!” she hollered and shimmied.

“Okay, I’ll do it.”

“What?”

“Whatever you want.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

She took out her phone and aimed it at him. “Snap your fingers.” He did so. “Smile.” He did so. “You look like a serial killer. Now say, ‘indeed’.” He did. “Say ‘recipe.’” He did. “Say, ‘Olivia, you’re fucking sexy.’” He humored her. And she held out the keys but he didn’t reach for them.

“What else, Olivia?”

“Do you have a girlfriend at home?”

“No.”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“It’s rude to ask single people why they’re single.”

“You should write a book on etiquette,” she said and gave the keys back.

 

The sun was setting and was distracting for him as he drove back to her place. Inside, Olivia fiddled with the air conditioner window unit.

“Are you going back to the City tonight?” she asked.

“Can I stay with you?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

She ignored him and left for a while and then she came back and sat on his lap. “I brushed my teeth,” she whispered loudly.

“You’re drunk.” He adjusted her and she humped him a bit.

“I barfed up all the tequila.”

“No.”

“Then why are you here?”

“I already told you.”

“And I already gave you my answer.” She wiggled around on his lap. “There we go, boo,” she said. “Condoms?”

“Maybe. If you go to the wedding.”

“Why do you care?” she flopped over and slid to the hardwood floor and lay there, limp, her hat rolling off. Red nosed her, and she attempted to keep a straight face. She kissed her and sat up and combed the hair out of her eyes.

“Why are you still friends with Cindy?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? I’ve known her my whole life. I’m not talking about her. Wanna talk about Noct?”

“No.”

“Why does your no mean more than mine?”

“Because I’m stronger than you.”

“I knew you were gonna be smart.” She finally closed her legs and bent over in downward dog, which was no better.

“I didn’t bring anything to sleep in.”

“ _Sleeping?”_ she asked. “Okay. This is getting boring. When are you gonna ask about your phone?”

He patted his pockets, but it was futile. He couldn’t believe it. He hadn’t checked it in…good Lord he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d checked it. What was he doing? What if his girlfriend called? “How did you do that?”

“I thought you were supposed to be some badass,” she smirked and pulled back on her hat, this time backwards.

“Where is it?”

“I threw it into the pit of despair.” And then she laughed and tossed him her purse.  

The contents: candy, keys, wallet, her phone, receipts, bonnet, hairbrush, cosmetics, birth control pills, and the two vibrators that he had bought her. He felt overheated.

“You so _nosey_ ,” she drawled. “You know how horny I get when I’ve been drinking? Cindy and I were on a date. We were supposed to get free dinner and free drinks with her family and then hang out here and then go to her gramps. And then you called me and ruined everything and I started drinking too much and didn’t get to hang out and ruined perfectly good fried food. _You_ are the villain here.” And she waited, sitting on the floor, watching him.

“So that fight was…”

“Foreplay. Only kinda, though,” she grinned.

“What can I do to…” he didn’t know what to say.

“Make amends? Did you hear me? That’s why Jesus gave you two ears and only one mouth. Do you know how many calls you’ve missed?”

He took off his glasses and he sat on the floor next to her. HHHHe took off that awful trucker hat she wore and he kissed her and she responded and he felt how soft she was, her breasts and her stomach and her neck. He took off her top and he unhooked her bra. He tried to take off her shorts.

“These are glued on,” he huffed while she laughed and he finally pulled them off (no panties) and told her to get in the shower. And she stood up slowly and walked around slowly and he hollered at her and she laughed and grabbed her purse and ran to the bathroom. He heard that awful rap music from her iTunes radio, and to ignore his hard on he looked around the house: front room, two bedrooms, and a mudroom in the back. The bathroom was in the hallway. When he heard the water shut off he ran back to the living room and when she came in she was dressed in a tiny t shirt and…no bottoms.

“Ignis?”

“Yes?” he looked up and she rolled her eyes and held out his phone.

“Someone called three times in a row,” she said. “I know it was the same person because the same characters came up. I should be a goddamn linguist.”

“You should.”

“It might be important. You know, because your work is so important.”

He longed to look at the notification.

“I’m taking pity on you. It’s not a trick.” And she walked away.

It wasn’t a work notification. He left the phone on the couch and followed her to her bedroom.

 

“This bed is too small.”

“Well, it’s gonna work because I’m not fucking in my parents’ bed.”

He turned a lot of her pictures around.

“Anything else, milord?” she asked and slapped her ass and the sound was _loud_. He tried to kiss her but she backed away and ordered him to take off his clothes. And he did so as quickly as possible. His girlfriend had fucked him two weeks ago (fifteen minutes) and the only outlet he had was his hand because he was faithful. While he was in the country.

They got in her bed and he kissed her and they tangled their long legs together and she humped his thigh and she sounded like she was begging. He pulled her shirt up and licked her nipples. She was soft and smelled like the soap he had used as a child and he pressed against her and she squealed.

“I’m sorry—” he gasped out and she said no, that she was just about to come and he had ruined it and he backed up and stuck his fingers in her pussy and she moaned quite loudly and she tasted quite sweet as he ate her out. She was shaking and whispering something and then he walked his fingers over and she grabbed his wrist and he looked up at her and she said, do what you want. Tears were in her eyes. He licked her ass and she went dead silent and he rubbed her pussy and she started to shake again. He tickled a finger in her ass and she started to buck around and he ate her out again and she grabbed his hair and came and it was fucking loud, like the loudest he had ever heard a woman come, and she pulled him off by his ear because he wouldn’t stop.

“Fuck me, Ignis.”

He put on the condom as fast as possible and first he fucked her missionary and then he fucked her on her knees while he stuck his thumb in her ass and when he pulled out his thumb he stuck in two fingers and she screamed and he came.

 

When they were done they heard Cindy moaning loudly and giggling.

“When did she get home?”

“You didn’t hear them?” he asked.

“You fucker.”

“Yes I am.” He pulled on his clothes. “Those shorts are too short.”

“Don’t body shame me.”

He left the bedroom to use the bathroom and a guy walked out.

“Who is you?” the man asked aggressively.

“Who are _you?”_ Ignis washed his hands and grabbed toilet paper for Olivia.

“Hey, do you know the Queen of England?” the guy laughed.

“Do you know Former President Obama?” he replied.

Cindy laughed loudly.

“What’s going on?” Olivia asked. He handed her the toilet paper and he watched her clean up and pull on her clothes. They left the room.

“Can I borrow your escalade?” the guy asked. “I just need something up the street real quick.” Ignis looked at him and the man held up his hands. “Can’t blame a brotha for _tryin’,_ Jesus.”

“Are we driving back tonight or what?” Cindy said. And Liv didn’t answer.

Ignis was holding thanks to Prompto and he shared with Cindy and her dude while Olivia lay idly in his lap and waved away the smoke. Cindy started a game of monopoly and while they argued Olivia knocked over the game and the man left.

 

When Ignis opened his eyes he knew they were running late. Although the sun was full strength, he couldn’t bring himself to move. He pressed against Olivia and she sounded like a kitten, mewling in her sleep. Her ass was right against his morning boner. He kissed her ear and she woke up and whined.

 “Time to go.” He ignored his hardon and pulled on his clothes. Cindy and Red were watching a movie in the living room. “Are you ready?”

“Yes, your liege. If I get a ticket you’re paying for it.”

“Yes.”

“Plus pain and suffering.”

“Yes.”

“We ain’t got shit to wear,” Olivia grumbled as she walked in, yawning. She had on the same shorts but a different top. She kissed Red. “I hate shopping.”

“We shall go to Walmart,” he suggested and enjoyed the look on their faces.

“I’d rather go naked than go to those fuckers’ wedding in Walmart clothes,” Cindy said.

“I have dresses for you two at Olivia’s apartment.”

“How’d you get in?” Olivia asked.

“Will they fit?” Cindy asked.

“You’re welcome,” Ignis said.

 

They got on the turnpike and hit traffic. Someone had hit a deer.

**

Liv and Cindy raced to throw on the dresses for they were beautiful (they both fit). And then Liv laid down on her bed because she thought for a moment she was going to die.

“Olivia.” Ignis tried to get her up and she didn’t speak. He shook her in his arms and her eyes remained closed. He deposited her back on the bed.

“What’s wrong?” Cindy burst in. “I’m mad, too. My queer baby daddy is marrying a rich asshole and Emma’s about to be kidnapped.”

“Not without my daughter!” Liv suddenly screamed and lunged at Cindy who backed up.

“This bitch thinks she’s special,” Cindy said. “I can tell you now. Nobody cares.” She looked at Ignis. “Get out.”

“We have to leave.”

“Gimme two seconds, your lordship!” And she pushed him out the door. And then Cindy gave Liv half a bar and put her finger to her lips. “If you’re good I’ll give you the other half later. Besides, I have to see what kinda get-up my baby’s wearing.”

It dissolved on her tongue and gave her something to think about.

“You and Prom weren’t gonna make it,” Cindy continued. “That’s why I fucked him and got knocked up. As a courtesy.”

And that was fucking hilarious.

 

On the way downstairs Noctis called Liv and she handed it to Ignis without answering.

“Yes. My phone is dead. Yes. We are five minutes away.”

“We’re not _that late,”_ Cindy said.

And Liv laughed for the entire time it took them to arrive. Ignis kissed Liv outside the car and she wrapped herself around him and—almost fell asleep. When they parted he looked at her. “What did you take?” he asked.

“None of your damn business!” Cindy said and grabbed Liv’s hand.

 

Liv was in a dream land. She wanted to sleep…sleeping with Prompto? He had alternated between suffocating her and being half off the bed. Noct liked to roll up in her covers like a sausage and/or hump her even while he was supposedly sleeping. He had even bought himself his own blanket but he would end up with both of them usually by the end of the night. And Ignis—sleeping with Ignis in that tiny twin bed had been fucking heaven.

“Are you staying the night?” she asked Ignis but she couldn’t recall his reply. All she knew was that Ignis alternated spooning and didn’t steal her covers.

**

When Luna received the wedding invitation she was happy for Prompto _._ And then she thought, _What if Noctis and I had been married?_ And then she thought, _He would have made me miserable._ And then she felt sorry from Prom.

She fucked Nyx. She told him about the wedding. And then she RSVP’d with him as her plus one. She bought three dresses and she modeled them all for her boyfriend. He chose the sluttiest one and that was the only dress she packed with her other clothes. Before the flight out, bored at the airport, she asked Nyx if he had known. He set his newspaper down.

“I’ve been waiting for you to ask me that.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“I blackmailed your best friend to get me into that photo shoot.” And he stared at her.

“What are you doing?”

“Waiting for my punishment.”

“Wait—I was talking about Prompto and Noctis.”

“Oh. No. I didn’t know they were…gay.”

“Do you think I’m gay?”

“Gay for pay!”

“That’s offensive.”

“Everything’s offensive, these days. Why, I remember in the good ol’ days—"

“Wait…how did you know my best friend was having sex with Noctis?”

“They were in Prompto’s bed once when we got to his house after drinking.”

“And you never had sex with Prom?”

“Nope. It is possible for two dudes to be in the same room and not have sex, my Moon and Stars.”

“You wouldn’t think it,” she said lightly. And she thought she was lucky her bestie had moved to New Zealand because at that moment she would have…what? She didn’t know.

“Are you mad?” Nyx asked.

“Not right now,” she answered truthfully.

 **

When Aranea received the wedding invitation she thought, _Is no one straight anymore?_ She confirmed the RSVP because she wanted to show off Ravus, who she considered the ultimate upgrade from Ignis. She called Luna who didn’t answer but she called her again and Luna greeted her and Aranea said, I guess you received an invitation and Luna didn’t deny it and then Aranea said that she had caught Gladio sucking Ignis’s dick and she listened to Luna’s shocked silence that turned into a laugh, and then she laughed. And they agreed to meet up and have a good time because they were sisters in law now.

Aranea walked into the most exclusive boutique and bought the most expensive dress in her city. Ravus came home from a trip and had a gown even more gorgeous as a gift. She brought both but wore the one her husband chose.

 

**The Fricking Wedding**

 

Ravus and Aranea arrived at the downtown botanical gardens venue exactly on time.

The theme was black, white and red and there were about one hundred guests in attendance. Servers glided around with champagne. How gauche. She saw Regis holding a baby on the first row. She saw Gladio’s stupid face on the third row as they were seated on the fourth. She smiled at him and he smiled back, startled, and then quickly turned back around. There was no Ignis. Luna and Nyx arrived and were seated next to them and they hugged and congratulated each other on their beauty. Aranea wondered if Ignis wouldn’t be there and she became irritated. People glanced around and Gladio looked bored.

Eventually there was a small commotion and two women walked in, hand in hand, both knockouts—and then she saw Ignis. The blonde sighed loudly, and the black woman waved at…Luna? The blonde slapped her hand down and they were fidgeting like children at church and Ignis—looked _amused!_ Aranea turned back around, her heart hammering.

“How do you know her?” she hissed at Luna.

“She’s my friend,” Luna answered brightly.

“My baby!” the blonde announced. Aranea thought, _Prom’s baby mama._ And then the baby mama complained loudly, “Assigned seating?” as they were led to the only empty seats on the second row. She then looked around while the other woman kept touching Ignis. Aranea had never seen him with that look on his face. “Gladiolus,” the blonde whispered and wiggled her fingers his way. Then she looked around and caught Aranea’s eyes. She winked at her and then ogled her husband and whispered something to her friend. The black woman turned around and smiled politely. Aranea imagined the conversation. _Yeah, she’s hot. Yeah, that dude definitely has a big one._

“Staring at the locals?” Ravus asked.

“I think those ladies may want to devour you.”

“Only when they’re done with you, dear.”

“Do you see the gentleman with them?”

“Ignis, right?”

“How did you know?”

“His suit costs as much as this wedding.”

The music started.

 

The soon to be happily wed couple stood at the front. Noctis’s smirk and Prompto’s deer in headlights gaze were caricatures as Noctis wore black and Prompto wore burgundy. Both looked…ill. A woman, presumably a nanny, now held the baby off to the side by the officiant.

 

“You wouldn’t think it, but the red looks good on him,” Ravus whispered to his wife.

 

There was a short, secular speech regarding love and stuff and a mention of a child and Cindy huffed loudly and Liv was afraid to pinch her and draw more attention their way while also finding the silence extremely hilarious. Prompto looked like a cartoon character. Her home training was battling the inner hysteria. She focused on Ignis…Ignis…

 

Ignis stood straight and nodded a greeting to those he knew. He nodded at Aranea and she shook her head at him. Halfway through the ceremony he put his arm around Olivia because she was inhaling him and it would make it less obvious. He felt the tickle on his neck and he discreetly adjusted himself. The painfulness of the wedding was a balm to his soul.

 

There were no vows. The men exchanged rings and Noctis took Prompto gently by the face and Prom held Noct’s arms and they kissed and it was beautiful.

 

It was so beautiful that Ignis contemplated reevaluating his life.

 

It was so beautiful that Luna wondered when Nyx was going to propose.

 

It was so beautiful that Olivia forgot about murdering them both. 

 

It was so beautiful that Cindy truly became uneasy. The only thing those dudes needed was a baby, and Emma was already here. Fuck.

 

The attendees were asked to stay for the reception where a luncheon would be served. They were herded to the proper destination. Gladio sat by Cindy in defiance of the place card. Cindy draped herself over him. The music started and Noctis and Prompto danced.

 

“Who’s leading?” Cindy whispered loudly as everyone watched. Liv kept a straight face but pinched her, hard. “OUCH!” Cindy said and Liv stared at Prompto and Noctis so hard that her hysteria faded. Ignis…Ignis.  

 

People kept drinking and started dancing and ignored the excellent food being set out.

**

Cindy turned to Gladio. “Why don’t you have a date, stud?” she asked and popped her gum. It ignited Gladio’s boner.

“I’m not seeing anyone.”

“You’re one of those, huh?”

“Aren’t you?”

They grinned at each other.

“Meet us at the elevators,” Cindy said and grabbed Liv’s hand. They ran to the restroom and checked themselves.

“I’m not going,” Liv said.

“Why not?” she pouted. “Four eyes got you going?”

“No,” she lied.

“I don’t see how you can pass this up.”

She ignored her. “Gimme the other half.” Cindy did.

Liv walked her to the elevators while Gladio stood leaning against the wall. He winked at them.

He turned to Liv. “You gonna join us, sweetheart?”

“Naw.” She shrugged carelessly.

“Ouch. What about that Christmas gift? I never claimed it.”

“It expired.” She backed away very quickly and ran.

“Let’s go,” Cindy said impatiently. So they did.

 

Gladio and Cindy ran through admin offices and knocked over plants as they raced to an office. Their lips crashed together as he held her in his arms.

“So…tell me I’m beautiful in Japanese.”

He did.

“Just so you know…I’ve been working real hard.”

“On what?”

“You.”

“Hmm? You spent a lot of time fantasizing?”

“I ate organic food and I ran two miles a day and I did fifty squats every morning to get back in shape.”

“I know that ain’t bullshit with the way that ass pops.”

“Where the fuck did you _come from?”_

“Your dreams.”

They kissed deeply and he played with her boobs and slapped her ass before she gave him head. This was the best dick sucking he had ever had. He usually wasn’t a fan of the sloppiness of deep throating but she made it look effortless.

“You’re beautiful,” he said again, and she wiped her mouth.

“I know.”

And then she turned around and bent over, touching her toes in her heels. “Youtube yoga,” she said and jiggled her ass and stood back up.

He growled.

She slipped off her dress. She wore no bra, but her tits sat straight up.

“I have condoms in my purse.”

“In a minute, baby,” he said and pulled her to him but she said she wanted to fuck. “Just a…taste?” he asked.

She threw her hair back and danced a little and Gladio pulled her on top the desk and he tickled her clit with the tip of his tongue before she squirmed away.

She was tight. She was wonderful. She was enthusiastic without being annoying. And those tits…she was on top drilling on his dick and she came in like five minutes. He flipped her over and fucked her and she left the carpet soaked.

**

Prompto walked over and said hello to Aranea and her husband. He asked her to dance. He seemed distracted.

“I was surprised you RSVP’d,” he said as they made their way to the dance floor.

“Ravus and Luna know each other,” she said.

“How?”

“Ask Luna. Who is that woman with Ignis?”

“Ask Luna,” he said.

She huffed. “I hope you and…Noctis enjoy your life together. And thanks for the wedding gift you sent.”

“We will. And yeah, I got the thank you note.”

“The baby’s beautiful,” she added belatedly.

“And smart!” Prom said.

“The blonde is the mother?”

“How did you know?” he asked wryly.

“When are you and Noctis running out of here?”

“We’ll close the place down and spend time with his dad and Emma before heading out.”

“Well…good luck!” she said brightly. Aranea turned away and went straight for Ignis. She ignored Noctis. The kid was a snot-nosed idiot unlike…well, like his husband, she had to admit.

 

Olivia saw Ignis with the couple Cindy was ogling earlier and decided to get a drink from the open bar because benzos and alcohol are like peanut butter and jelly with the added risk of death. She flirted with the bartender until she felt him behind her and she turned around.

“You’re not with Cindy?” he asked. And they stood, looking at each other.

“Obviously,” she said.

“Olivia—” he started.

“May I?” Noctis slid in and Ignis took her drink. She danced with him. They were silent.

“Thank you for being here,” he said. “That means a lot.”

“Are you gonna dance with Ignis next? And I’m sure there’s at least…ten other people here you’ve fucked,” she said, smiling.

He smiled back. “My dad’s here, Liv. I can’t dance with Ignis.”

“Pity.”

“Why didn’t you cash the check my lawyer sent you?”

“So there’s a money trail? I don’t think so. I almost shit my pants thinking of the student loan you paid off for me.”

“Why are you so tall?”

“Because I’m wearing heels.”

“You never wore heels when I took you out.”

“To the movies or some shitty restaurant?”

“Oh, the memories. What’s wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with _you?”_

“Liv.”

“I’ve been drinking all day.”

“No, it’s something else.”

“I spoke to my primary care physician and requested anti anxiety meds.”

“You are totally fucked and still standing and speaking.”

“Just like you when you’re wasted. I’m glad you didn’t drink today.”

“Me too.”

“Tell your husband—”

“You can tell him yourself.”

“I can’t talk to him.”

“He’ll be sad,” he whispered.

“That’s your problem,” she said and stepped out of his orbit and headed straight back to the bar without any theatrics. She watched Prom dance with Emma in his arms and she chuckled to herself. Luna and Nyx finally came over and they chatted. Prom drifted over holding the baby and said hi to everyone. Prom and Nyx caught up and Luna asked her to dance. They didn’t say anything as Luna led.

“You’re beautiful,” Liv said.

“So are you.”

“We’re not going to ask each other if we’re okay or not.”

“Of course not.

“It’s not like I have a Nyx. By the way he looks…scrumptious.”

She laughed, open mouthed. “Does that mean you will hang out with us later?”

“I thought that was the plan all along.”

“You’re acting…” she said.

“I took a xanax.”

“Good for you.”

“Nyx isn’t dancing?”

“He doesn’t dance. And he owes you an apology.”

“For calling me a hooker? Please.”

They giggled.

“Didn’t they look awful up there?” Liv said and Luna couldn’t stop laughing. “Have you been drinking?”

“I got started early,” she said sheepishly.

“We need to find better coping strategies.”

And Luna screamed in laughter and then noticed someone. “I have to say hello to someone,” she said. And then she pecked Olivia on the lips and walked away.

 

“Thank you for coming,” Regis said to Luna.

She kissed his cheek and hugged him while Noctis stood there awkwardly. She didn’t say anything because she couldn’t find it in her to be polite or rude. Prom handed the baby to…his husband and asked her to dance.

 

He smiled at her brightly and Luna tried to smile back.

“I thought you were going to pass out up there,” Luna said.

“I was.”

“Why? You have everything you want now.”

“Yes,” Prom said.

“Beautiful baby, beautiful husband,” she continued.

“Yup.”

“I wish you the power to hold onto him. It seems people these days…have a very short attention span.”

“Yup.”

“You two deserve each other,” she said flatly. She began to shake and she thought that maybe she was going to hit him. He stared at her and didn’t speak. She hissed at him, “Your suit is _fucking_ ridiculous!” and then Ignis cut in. She felt relief for only a moment and as Prom walked away she turned to Ignis.

“Ignis. I’ve heard all about _you,_ ” Luna said.

“All the truth, I’m sure.”

Luna fought for control. “I don’t know what happened.”

“This wedding has brought out the worst in everyone.”

“Yes.”

“Olivia doesn’t seem like your type,” Ignis said and her back stiffened again.

Luna said, “Hm. I would say the same thing about you, but apparently everyone is your type.”

And they smiled at each other. Ignis held out his hand. She took it and they danced.

 

Olivia and Nyx were at the bar. He was talking about something, she didn’t know what, she just watched his mouth move. Olivia saw Ignis dancing with the woman who had came with the Tall Hot Dude. She was tired of seeing them dance, it had lasted at least three songs and she was tired of seeing THD sitting unperturbed at their table, talking to Luna.

 

“Olivia,” Ignis said.

“Your friend?” the woman asked Ignis and smiled at Liv prettily.

“Always a bridesmaid, never a bride,” Liv answered prettily and held out her hand. “Would you like to dance?”

She looked surprised as she took her hand. “You and your friend made quite an entrance.”

“We don’t take her off the reservation very often.”

“That doesn’t sound like a politically correct statement.”

“I know her grandfather. He’s…part native American.”

“Oh, that makes it better now.” And they smirked at each other.

“Your enormous rings are hurting my hands. Really? A ruby _and_ a diamond?”

She laughed loudly. “What about what you’re wearing?”

“Ignis bought it all. I’m his poor country girl he had to dress up for the ball.”

“You’re just like Cinderella.”

“What is your name?”

“He didn’t tell you about me?”

“I don’t know anything about the man except that he is referred to as Ignis.”

“My name is Aranea.”

“Beautiful.”

“He likes to fuck men,” she said with cold eyes.

“I like to fuck women.”

“Wanna fuck?”

“Aranea. You look much too classy and rich to be so hateful. What’s wrong? Your man doesn’t fuck you well enough?”

She didn’t even appear offended. “You know how you think things are going a certain way? And then it changes?”

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

“They teach Shakespeare in the South?”

“That came from the Bible,” Liv winked. “Psalms or Proverbs. One of ‘em books.”

“You’re funny,” she said without laughing.

“Have you known Ignis a long time?”

“Since we were children.”

“He used to be a child? I thought he popped out Zeus’s head fully formed. Like what’s-her-face. Aphrodite?”

“Athena.”

“Your husband is gorgeous. He’s almost as pretty as you.”

“Would you like to be entertained by us later?”

She wondered why she felt loyal to Ignis. “I have…a date.”

“I know that look,” Aranea said. “Be careful.” She led Olivia to Ravus, Luna and Nyx at their table. Prompto came over. Everyone talked enthusiastically. Noctis walked up with the baby, precluding a battle with Nyx.

Prom told Liv, “I’m happy you’re here.” She smiled. “Do you want to dance?”

She smiled bigger and looked around. “Um,” she said nicely, and her voice cracked, and she suddenly looked horrified and Luna grabbed her hand and said they needed to go to the bathroom. On their way through the crowd Cindy bounced in wearing a black cowboy hat. “Where you going?” she asked and spun Liv around and Luna nodded graciously and floated away.

“Where’d you get a ten gallon hat for an eight gallon head?” Liv asked.

“I was justified,” she answered.

“Y’all ain’t stealing my pa’s dole,” she snarled.

“Where were you headed?”

“To hang out with a friend.”

“I thought I was your only friend?”

“I have international friends.”

Cindy pouted. “Can I come over tonight? They’re keeping Emma ‘til tomorrow.”

“No,” Ignis said from behind Liv.

“This is the second time you’ve cockblocked me,” she huffed.

“I don’t think that’s technically correct,” Liv said.

“Or maybe it is!” Cindy rolled her eyes and relinquished her hold as she looked for her baby.

Liv told Ignis she was leaving with Luna. Luna and Prom were looking at them and Noct was speaking to his father.

“I don’t want you to,” he said.

“You got what you wanted, why are you hanging around?”

“Because I’m greedy and selfish.”

“Is that what Aranea told you?”

“ _Touché_.”

“You tryna take over. It’s not gonna work.”

“What does ‘tryna’ mean?” he squeezed her hand and it was on the verge of being painful.

“I’ll embarrass you in front of everyone you hold dear,” she warned.

“Do it.” And he waited.

“I already passed up Aranea,” she said and watched his face.

“That must have taken a lot of willpower.”

“It took one hundred percent of my willpower.”

“Call me when you’re done and I’ll pick you up.”

“What if you don’t answer?”

“Olivia?”

“Yes, Daddy?”

“Give me a kiss.”

“What kind?”

“The one I want.”

“Why are you taking advantage of me?”

“Because you want me to.”

“Any other orders?”

He didn’t answer, and she kissed him.

“I don’t want you to orgasm while you’re with them.”

“What?”

“Ah, Luna and Nyx,” he said in his business voice and she turned around.

 

“This will probably be the last time we see each other,” Luna said.

“Let’s make it worth it,” Liv said. “Is he staying?” she looked at Nyx.

“Is he allowed?”

“That’s up to you, boo.”

Luna grabbed her hand and they left.

Nyx drove them to the hotel while they laughed at the country music on the radio.

“Must be nice to have money!” Liv snickered when they got to the hotel.

“It’s…truly wonderful.”

They screamed at each other in laughter.

 

Liv pulled up the skirt of Luna’s dress and moved the crotch of her panties aside and licked deeply while Luna moaned.

“Can you tear these off for me?” Liv asked Nyx. And he didn’t ask her what she meant. He tore them off by the seam and that sound made her horny. He kissed Luna and then he kissed Liv and yes, he was tasty. Liv licked, and then Nyx licked, and then they made out again and got Luna’s come everywhere and then he finished Luna while Liv made out with her and sucked on her nipples.

Luna came easily and then she looked shocked and embarrassed. Liv whispered something in Luna’s ear and then Luna looked at Nyx and they tore off his clothes and took turns sucking his (impressive) cock.

“I want to see you fuck her,” Liv said.

And he did. And Luna reached for her and she said she had to go.

“What?” Nyx asked.

“Ignis?” she asked.

“No,” she lied.

“He’s…” Luna said.

“I know,” Liv said. “I promise, I know.” And she bounced.  

**

Ignis answered when Olivia called. She pranced down the steps like she was a Disney princess and she leaped into the car.

“These shoes!” she giggled.

“That didn’t take long.”

“I wonder why. Where are we going?”

“Home.”

“I have company.”

“Then I’ll take them home.”

He drove ten blocks to her apartment complex.

“Are you sad?” she asked.

“Are you?”

“That’s none of your goddamn business,” she said easily.

“Did you come?”

“No.”

“Good girl,” he said.

 

She woke up and it was dark and she was naked and covered in a blanket with Red by her side. First she was confused, then she was scared and then she wanted to cry. The wedding was more feelings than memory and it had happened that day. She quietly pulled on leggings and a top and then left her bedroom. Ignis was on the balcony on his cell. She watched him for a while before he noticed her and got off the phone.

“Sorry,” she said.

“You’re not concerned about why you were naked?”

“I’m not sore, so no.”

“You…” he said. “I’ve been waiting all day to put my hands on you.”

“So you did take off my clothes?”

“You walked in, took off everything but your heels and passed out on the couch. I helped you to your bed and you tried to rape me.”

“You can’t rape the willing.”

“That’s disgusting.”

“Hey, I didn’t say it.”

“Who did?”

“Some Russian lady who ate half a potato a day before she moved to the Land of the Free.”

“Olivia.”

“Google it,” she insisted. And then they looked at each other for a while.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

She got on her knees and threw up her hands and said, “My precious is lost!” And then she sat down and reached for her playstation controller.

“It was easier than I thought it would be,” he said. He touched her neck and she bent into his arm and he cuddled her. He smelled so good. “Tell me the truth.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to hear it,” he said in her ear and she shivered.

“We were done when he left for two weeks and came back with his _friend._ I mean, I didn’t know they were fucking but…Noctis just sucks up all the air out the room. Like you.”

He didn’t say anything.

She continued, “And then the baby came along. So, whatever.”

And Liv was rewarded by hearing Ignis laugh.

“Are you staying the night?”

“I brought my luggage.”

“Why didn’t you change?”

“I had to take care of a few things.”

“Like what?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

She sighed and rummaged around in her fridge. “Wedding food, ugh!” she said and ate some cold shrimp and opened two beers. She brought him one. “Two nights with Ignis, I must have died and gone to heaven.”

He squeezed her hand and she thought she would die from happiness. “Are you gonna ruin the moment?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. I’m ready.”

“How many men have you had relations with?”

She grimaced. “You are literally the first dude to ask me that.”

“Don’t call me dude.”

“Who are you to tell me anything?”

He didn’t reply.

“You first.”

“I’m afraid to answer that.”

“Then why’d you ask?”

“I want to know.”

“I figure _your_ number will either be embarrassingly low or embarrassingly high.”

“Which one do you think it will be?”

“I dunno.”

“Be honest.”

“Low. You’re weird.”

“How so?”

She changed the subject. “Okay, let’s write it down and give it to each other.”

“You will lie.”

“You’re the only liar ‘round here.”

“I doubt that.”

“You have to separate men and women.”

And now he looked concerned.

“ _And_ we have to write down our predictions.”

“Predictions for how many men and women I think you have slept with?”

“Duh.”

“This won’t turn out well.”

“Who cares? I’ll never see you again.”

He kept his face impassive and she was already scribbling after throwing him a notepad.

“Can I have a pen?”

“ _May_ you? Where’s that fancy one?”

“One does not carry a pen in a suit.”

She stared at him. “I think you may be the most irritating man I have ever met.” And she threw him a pen and he caught it. They folded their answers and switched at the same time, but Ignis went first.

_IS Predictions as written by OP_

_X <5<20\. Too low probly. Men_

_X <2<8 Too low probly. Women._

_OP Conquests as written by OP_

_Men 7_

_Women 12 +_

“What does probly mean? And what do these…equations mean?”

“You are so pissed right now,” she said. “And yes, I know how to spell probably. I wanted to hear your high-falutin’ comment.”

“This is painful.”

“That is literally the first time I’ve said high-falutin’.”

“No, I didn’t mean that. You’re lying.”

“Fuck you, I’m honest. And the past four men have been in the last couple years, so now I gotta slow down.”

“That’s too low. For men.”

“My dad didn’t let me leave the house. Country dick is either scabied or baby mama’d. Cindy had her baby at an extremely advanced maternal age.”

“Women can get venereal diseases from other women.”

“First of all, not for the purposes of this story. Second of all, only old people say venereal disease. And third of all…” she whispered loudly. “I can’t get these dudes to take me to Applebee’s, I’m supposed to fuck ‘em?”

“What’s an Applebee’s?”

“SMH,” she said. “You passed like thirty on the way to pick me up yesterday.” She read the handwriting of Ignis. Perfect. Beautiful. (Prom’s handwriting was indecipherable. Noct’s was childish.)

 

_OP Predictions as written by IS_

_Women 3_

_Men 25_

_IS Conquests as written by IS_

_Women ??_

_Men 23_

“What?”

“I’m older than you.” He shifted in his seat.

“Oh my fucking Jesus,” she said. And then she bowed her head and prayed loudly. “I have never said that. Not even when Prom told me about his baby.”

He didn’t say anything.

“You have genital herpes.”

“I do not have genital herpes. It’s called protection.”

“You’re telling me you used condoms with Noctis?”

He choked. “You don’t either.”

“How do you know?”

“I was there when you told him to pull out and he didn’t.”

“That’s sexual assault.”

“What can you do?”

“Those numbers are embarrassing.”

“What about Prompto?”

“You guys are awful. You just hop on every continent and fuck everyone.”

“Not _everyone._ ”

“I’m sure you have discerning taste.”

“It’s why I am here, is it not?”

They stared at each other.

“What do you want, Daddy?”

He told her, and she did it.

**

**Honeymoon**

Prom didn’t want to leave the baby for very long so the married couple took a limo to a boutique hotel where they had the penthouse. They dove into the limo and immediately started drinking the champagne and gorging on the dessert tray while giggling hysterically. Noctis straddled his husband as he turned off his phone.

“Turn off yours,” he ordered.

“Yes _dear.”_ Prom simpered.

“Okay, _husband.”_

“Are we going to get divorced?”

“In twenty years when the kids are launched.”

“Plural?”

“One more.”

“What?”

“Only children are weird. Haven’t you noticed how fucked up we all are?”

Prom said, “Okay.” But he was panicked and sat up to drink more.

Noct laughed. “That’s how you looked this morning.”

“It’s how we _both_ looked.”

“I think that was the most painful experience of my life.”

“Yup,” Prom said. “I love you.”

“I love you.” And they drank.

 

When they entered the room Noctis immediately took off his suit and pulled on a bathrobe and started drinking the chilled champagne that was left for them. Prom ran to the bathroom and was in there for a while.

“Are you crying in there?” Noctis asked at the door.

“Don’t laugh at me,” his husband answered with the door shut.

“When have I ever?”

“This morning?”

“Uh…”

“Promise!”

“Okay, okay.”

And Prom walked out in a bathrobe and he had on eyeliner and stockings.  

“Oh my God,” Noct said.

“You first,” Prom said.

“What?”

“Your robe.”

Noct wore white boxer briefs.

Prom dropped the robe and held his hands over his package. “I didn’t wear any panties,” he said and laughed hysterically. His husband stood up with his fuck me eyes and Prom ran. He made it two steps before Noct grabbed him and they laughed and Noct threw him on the bed. They made out and humped each other. Noct was on top and he brushed the hair out of Prom’s eyes.

“I love you,” Noct said.

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

They kissed again and Noct tore off those stockings and Prom told him he was ready for him so Noct pulled off his underwear and pushed in while he rubbed Prom’s thighs. They rocked together and Noctis told Prom to look at him and he did. They had sex slowly, Prom showing off his dick, rubbing the head as he moaned, and Noct moaned, his hand over Prom’s.

“You’re mine,” Noct told him.

“Ye-yes.”

“No one else’s.”

Prom came first and stuck his come in Noct’s mouth and Noct sucked on those fingers and came.         

 

Prom looked at his ring and his watch.

“Do I make you happy?” Noctis asked.

Prom looked at him. “Yes.”

They ordered room service because they hadn’t eaten at all during the wedding.

 

Prompto woke up smiling. Noct was still sleeping. He turned his phone on, expecting to see notifications from Cindy and maybe a few well wishers. Instead his voicemail was full and he had a metric shit ton of texts and social media messages. He scanned the texts first and felt ill, and then happy, and then ill again. Pictures of their wedding had gone Sex Industry Viral.

His phone began to vibrate. It was his agent.

He listened while his agent screamed at him, calling him the fa-word and all kinds of disgusting names and told him how he’d been blacklisted and no other woman would work with him ever again and now everyone was falling apart and the CDC was gonna sue his ass and he was gonna repay every dollar he had ever made.

Prom jumped when his husband took the phone from him and held it to his ear, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He listened for a while.

“Go fuck yourself,” he finally said and hung up. “Are you okay?”

“Yup.”

Staring at him he said, “Want to smoke outside?”

“I didn’t bring anything with me.”

Noct handed him a small red gift box that was extremely light. Inside were three blunts.

“Who rolled these?”

“I did. Duh. Cry now, and then you can smoke outside. I’m not paying the cleaning deposit on this piece of shit penthouse.”

Prom said, staring at his husband, “I have nothing to cry about.”

**

**Two months later**

Ignis called and Liv told him about her solid job offer after six months of looking.

“You can’t afford to live in southern California on that salary,” he dismissed.

“They’re giving me a housing stipend.”

“How much?”

“Eighteen hundred.”

He was quiet for a moment. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you. That means a lot.”

“Have you told anyone?”

“Not yet.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t talk to them anymore. Besides, I have to tell Cindy first.”

“Why are you loyal to her?”

“I love her.”

“Why?”

“Why are you obsessed with her?”

“She attacked me at the wedding.”

“No, she didn’t.”

“She told me to stay away from you.”

“She knows you’re suspect. Were you rude to her?”

“Yes.”

She giggled. “Okay. I haven’t told anyone this…”

“What?”

“I lost my virginity to her.”

“What?”

“I was twenty when I lost it, and it had turned into this thing, and it was ruining college for me, and I asked her to do it when I was drunk and then a few days later she took me to a shop and we…picked one out and then she did it.”

“What?”

“Yep.”

“How…”

“I need to explain that to you?”

“Yes. Details, please.”

“I dunno. She made it really special. She was dating some rich old dude so we were at his house, and we went swimming and watched _American Psycho_ on a projector and then he came home and she kicked him out for a minute and…”

“Details.”

“She’d put two French braids in my hair before we went swimming, so she kept pulling them—”

He made a noise.

“I mean, we’d done it lots of times but…we kissed for a long time, and she told me I was pretty and she ate me out and made me come. And then she left to put it on, but then I had to help her get it on—”

“How big was it?”

“Like barely six inches, it was the smallest they had. So it was actually really funny, but then she got serious and…” he didn’t say anything and she plunged ahead. “So she got it in and it didn’t hurt nearly as much as I thought, or maybe it was her, but I got…blood and come everywhere and then we just left it like that because she said it would turn on her dude.”

“What were you wearing?”

“THOT shorts and—”

“What?”

“That Ho Over There shorts. The high waisted jean shorts with the pockets coming out the bottom.”

“What did your swimsuit look like?”

“We swam naked. I didn’t want to get my hair wet, but whatever.”

“You two were never together?”

“No. She drives me crazy.”

A long pause. “What happened?”

“Ugh. She hit me.”

“She hurt you?”

“She slapped me real good, like not during sex, she was mad. I can’t even remember why, we were drunk and at the fair. We didn’t talk for a few months after that.”

“I don’t like her.”

“So?”

“Can you repeat…what you just told me?”

“For posterity?”

“For my dick.”

So she did.

 

The next day Ignis sent her a video of him whacking off. He was on a white couch in a white room. She touched the screen and wondered what he did with his time, with his real life at home. She realized with a start that she had become Prom, waiting for a dude.

She touched herself to it anyway.

**

“Someone is up front to see you,” an intern told Liv before hurrying away. It was past six—quitting time.

“ _Fuck,_ ” she muttered and went to reception. Ignis stood looking at a piece of hipster art and she watched him for a while before he turned around and caught her gaze.

“No soliciting,” she said.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call. I wasn’t certain I’d be able to see you.”

“It’s okay. Was Noctis arrested again?”

“He doesn’t know I’m in town.”

After a moment she asked if he wanted to see her office. He touched everything lightly.

“People always ask me where I got all this fancy stuff from.”

“What do you tell them?”

“I have a long distance admirer.”

He said abruptly, “I’m sorry I can’t help you move.”

“I think I’m capable of getting Red and me to California.”

“Another two weeks?”

“Yes. And then two more weeks to hang out before I start. I feel like a millionaire.”

“You live in America. You are.”

“You sound like a baby boomer, Mr. Colonialist. When are you going home?”

“Tomorrow.” He sat in her chair.

“My door doesn’t lock,” she said.

“Wonderful.” He set the photo of her parents face down on the desk. “Again, I see where you get your good looks from.”

“I dunno whether to be disturbed or aroused.”

“Both?”

She straddled his lap and they kissed. She humped him and he squeezed her ass so hard it hurt and she took his hand and stuck his fingers in her mouth. She sucked on them, moaning and Ignis stuck his wet fingers up her pencil skirt, which was just a bit awkward, because her ass was big and the zipper was tiny but he made quick work of it. He sat her on her desk and kneeled down and fucked her with his fingers and he put his mouth on her and she had to cover up her moans. She reached for his dick and he pulled it out and pulled on a condom and fucked her on her desk, her bare ass on a reference book to accommodate his height.

Completely fucked, she had to send out an email and listen to her boss yell about something on the phone before she went home with Ignis. He drove her home in yet another luxury vehicle and she said she would make him dinner. She ran through the grocery store and when she ran out he was almost asleep at the wheel.

“Jetlagged?” she asked.

“Yes.”

At home he showered and laid in her bed and she brought him a plate. He tried to get up but she stopped him. After he ate she took the plate away. She came back.  She spooned him and inhaled the scent of his hair.

“Olivia.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re humping me.”

“Stop being humpable.”

“Do you want my dick again?”

“I want your dick all the time. Go to sleep, I’ll fuck you tomorrow.”

“You’re not working?”

“I’ll go in late. What she gonna do, fire me?”

He was a gentleman and gave her a quickie. She laid on her side and Ignis fucked her from the back, grabbing her arm with one hand and with the other grasping her neck gently and she creamed everywhere while he whispered her name and then he told her to say his name and she screamed it.

He immediately passed out and she laid in his arms and thought _Fuck._

 

He woke her up at six am, his hardon on her ass. He asked her if he could leave off the condom and she didn’t say anything but she got on top and pushed him in and said his name once. She started to go faster and he told her to slow down and she laughed and she did. But then she got close again and she didn’t stop and the moment she started to fall over he got on top of her and pushed in deep, chasing her g spot.

“Oh my God,” he announced when he came and he buried himself in her and shook. Ignis kissed her. “Oh my God,” he said again and then he pulled out and went to the bathroom.

Red whined.

“I’ll take her out,” he said. He got dressed and when he came back he said had to go.

“Why?”

“I have to…do something.”

“Why?”

“Because I have responsibilities.”

“Why?”

He looked at her. “You...” She tried to sit up and he told her to stay. “You will make it too hard for me, babygirl.”

And at that term of endearment she hid her face and listened as he got ready. He kissed her and then she heard the door shut. She was listless and didn’t move for hours until Red whined again. She threw on her work clothes and grabbed her keys to go and swore. She called Ignis but his phone was off. She left him a voicemail. “Ignis.” She hung up. He had probably won the fucking thing in a poker game. She took Red down and afterwards she poked around in the Range Rover and found a packet in the car. She grabbed it and checked the mileage. Ugh it was brand new. She left it there because she didn’t want to pay for parking at her job. She dropped off her baby at daycare and went to work.

 

Ignis didn’t respond to her texts and phone calls for one week. She almost swallowed her pride and texted Noct if he had heard anything before realizing how stupid that was. And then he finally called her and she jumped to answer it, ready to bitch him out for not calling earlier.

“Who is this, please?” a heavily accented voice said. The voice belonged to a woman.

_My life has turned into a SZA song,_ Liv thought.

“This is Cindy Aurum,” she said confidently. _Why am I covering for him?_

“Why are you calling?” she asked.

“I’m from Publisher’s Clearing House,” she shouted and hung up. And ignored the three phone calls in a row. She blocked his number. She did not cry. She wasn’t stupid.

 

A couple days later he finally called her from a different number. He left her a voicemail. She listened. “Olivia. Call me.” She didn’t. He called back in an hour from the same foreign number and she answered. She was calm.  

“Hello, Ignis.”

“Hello, Olivia.”

“Did you need something?” she asked politely.

“Why did you block my number?” he sounded irritated.

_Hmm._ She dove right in. “I don’t feel comfortable accepting…”

“Accepting what?”

“The fucking Range Rover.”

“Why?”

“It’s vulgar.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t care about the money you may or may not have.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want it getting repoed on my way to my hair appointment.”

“The truth,” he said.

After a moment she said, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. You didn’t answer me.”

“What?”

“Why did you block me?”

“Why didn’t you call me when you got home?”

“ _No se_ ,” he said, and it was yet another arrow through the heart.

“Why don’t you know?”

“You know Spanish?”

“I’m American, of course I know Spanish. So the Rover was a parting gift?”

“Olivia.” But he didn’t say anything else.

“Do you know what a red flag is?”

“Enlighten me.”

“It’s when you get signals from Jesus that you’re in dangerous territory.”

“Such as?”

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

“No,” he said. She didn’t say anything. After a moment he said, “That was a lie.”

“Why didn’t you bring her to the wedding?”

“We weren’t together….” A beat. “I lied again. I wanted to see you.”

“I think the more accurate phrase would be that you wanted to bust a nut.”

He didn’t reply.

“Do you know what busting a nut means?”

“Yes, Olivia.”

“Okay,” she said. “She called me from your phone. Like ten times, so I blocked it.” He didn’t say anything for a moment.

“I apologize,” he said. “What did she say?”

“Ask her. Have you deleted that video I sent you?”

A pause. “No.”

“The only reason I mention it is because Noct found it, and if he did—”

“I got it.”

They didn’t speak. Her throat felt jammed with rocks. She swallowed. “I’m gonna go set the car on fire.”

“That may be illegal in your area.”

And then she laughed, and then she cried and he listened.

“Olivia…” he said.

“Don’t call me,” she said and she hung up. He didn’t call her.

 

She was too busy to feel sorry for herself. She had moved what she could out to her land and the movers packed up the rest of her shit that week and shipped it to her new apartment.

**

Cindy went to Liv’s after dropping off Emma. She looked around in consternation.

“What the fuck?” she asked.

“I’m moving.”

“Where?”

“Southern California.”

“You can’t afford to live out there.” Cindy burst into tears and gripped her. “What am I supposed to do without you?”

Liv cried, and they sat on the floor and held each other.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I knew this would happen.”

“When are you leaving?”

“This weekend.”

“You’re leaving me all alone?”

“Your baby will keep you company.”

“You let those dudes run you outta town?”

“I’ve been looking since the beginning of the year.”

“Prom didn’t say anything.”

“I don’t talk to them anymore.”

She didn’t say anything.

“Wanna go on a ride? I’m driving.”

 

“What the fuck?” Cindy screeched when she saw the Range Rover.

“His girlfriend called me, what was never started is now over,” she said loudly.

“Ignis?”

“Yep.”

“I told him to stay away from you. He’s new new.”

“I don’t think anyone says that anymore.”

 

“Why are we here, again? Dude lost it, fair and square,” Cindy grumbled.

“You’re here so they don’t shoot me for trying to do the right thing,” she said. But then she couldn’t find the house so Liv gifted the Rolex that Ignis had won to Cindy.

 

Liv took her bestie to her favorite restaurant and they ate fried chicken and drank mojitos and Cindy cried. They closed the restaurant down and on the way out to the car Cindy threw herself on Liv and she staggered with her weight and Cindy wouldn’t let her breathe. They made it halfway in the car when Liv reached up her dress and fucked Cindy with her fingers and when Cindy had come she stumbled off and they turned around because they heard someone clapping. It was their server.

“Did you tape that?” Cindy snarled.

“I cracked my smartphone,” he answered sadly.

 

They slept together on an air mattress. Cindy quit her serving job without calling in.

Thursday night Liv told her she had to wrap up some things before leaving. Cindy cried again and she left to get Emma.

Liv told Cindy and Emma goodbye. Cindy started wailing about Paw Paw and Liv said she had already met with him. Liv promised to pay for the flight for Cindy to visit in six months.  

**

On Liv’s last day of work Friday the place was eerily hushed. She had already packed up her stuff and she left what she didn’t care for. She locked the firm’s door behind her and went through the two sets of double doors to the elevator. She jumped when the door swung open and she saw Prom.

“Hey,” she said stupidly.

He said quickly, “Cindy told me. And I thought maybe you had left the back way, so I came up—” he stopped. “Liv, I’m going to miss you and I’ll always love you.”

And they hugged each other fiercely. And Prom was dry eyed as she wept, sliding to the floor. Her purse spilled out and he shoved her crap back in and handed it to her. “Liv—I can’t.” He got her up and then he backed away as fast as he could, running into a janitorial cart, and he raced away to the elevator and she stepped out her heels and chased him. He pounded on the elevator button, glancing behind him. Liv stopped as she realized what the fuck she was doing. Prom dove into the elevator but then he looked at Liv and didn’t press the button for the first floor. They looked at each other and she waited. Then he pressed the button down and the doors closed.

 

Noct texted her that night and she ignored it. She had never added his American number but by this time she knew it by heart. He called her and she answered. She promised to drop by on her way out.

 

She was amazed they still lived at Prom’s shitty apartment. She took Red out on her leash and called Noctis.

“I’m downstairs.”

“You’re not coming up?” Noct asked.

“Nope.”

He huffed loudly and hung up. She watched them stroll out and Prom had a gift in his hands. Noctis hugged her first and then she hugged Prom and he kissed her open mouthed and Noct winked at her. Noct grabbed Red and Prom handed over the present and wrapped his arms around her.

“You should unblock my phone number,” he said.

“Nope.”

“I have a new Instagram.”

“I know.”

“Be nice,” Noct said.

She ignored him. “I have a secret.”

“What?”

“I fucked Cloud.”

“Cloud who?” Prom asked.

“The only one who counts.”

He scoffed. “So you pixelated yourself and fucked him?”

“I have proof. I took a picture.”

“You photoshopped it.”

“And I have video!” she shouted triumphantly.

“Let me see.”

“Nope.” She opened the gift. It was a plush moogle.

“Kupo.” She smirked and pulled out her phone and unlocked it and scrolled. It didn’t take long until she found what she was looking for and showed him.

“No.” Prom said. And then he snatched the phone from her hands. He looked dumbfounded.

“Tell your husband to gimme my phone back,” she told Noctis and Prom handed it over without being asked. “So. I just wanted y’all to know…” she said and then grinned.

“How amazing we are?” Noct eyeballed a woman walking across the street.

“I’ve learned a lot and I’ve been journaling…”

“You’re writing about us?” Prom asked.

“I didn’t find a journal,” Noct said.

She rolled her eyes and addressed Prom. “Nope. It’s original content.”

“About what?” Prom asked.

“Oh, you know. Goblins and vampires and zombies and shit.”

“Sounds awful,” Noct said. Red went to Prom and nosed him and he cuddled her.

“Your page is down online,” Liv said.

“Yup.” He didn’t elaborate.

She looked at that dumb fucking watch. “Remember all the polyamory bullshit you were talking?”

“Yes.”

“How do you feel about it now?”

“Do you want to move in?”

“Shouldn’t you consult your husband?”

He grinned.

“Mr. Prompto Caelum.”

He scowled. “I’m not changing my name.”

“Noct already asked?” she glanced at him and he rolled his eyes.

“Yup. My last name will be the same as Emma’s. We changed her birth certificate.”

“Mr. Noctis Argentum?” she looked at him slyly.

“We are keeping our names,” Noct said loudly.

“You two be nice to each other.”

“I thought you were driving out?” Prom asked.

“I am.”

“Where’s your car?”

“It’s around the corner,” she lied. Noct strolled across the street to the Range and began humping the back of it and moaning loudly. A family walking by glared at him.

“I leased it,” she told Prom. “To make up for the most awful time of my life.” He put his arm around her and kissed her again and she grabbed Red’s leash from him and hurried to the car. She got Red in.

“Where are you going?” Noct asked. “I don’t get a kiss?”

“No, you ruined my life,” she said.

“Let me put a baby in you,” he told her.

They watched Prom narrowly evade a truck as he crossed the street.

“Put a baby in Cindy so they have the same mama,” she told them.

“She’s dumb,” he complained.

“She’s smarter than your husband.”

Prom pouted.

“All you would have to do is drop off the baby and sign over your rights,” Noct said.

“I’m not giving y’all a black baby to raise.”

“I told you she’d say that,” Prom said.

“That’s racist.” Noctis leaned in. “Totally fucking racist. I said I’d do her hair, what else do you want?”

“Get out my ear,” she told him.

“When you flame out in California you can move in with us.”

“Oh, goody.”

“I don’t know why you act like I’m not your favorite,” he grumbled.

“How do you live with him?” she asked Prom.

He ignored the question. “Are you and Ignis together?”

“Nope.”

“Then why’d he get you a car?”

“I _said_ I _leased_ it.”

“Leasing is stupid.” And then he mocked her. “They tryna charge thirty grand for a new Toyota Corolla!”

“I know right—” she said before catching herself. “Whatever. It doesn’t fucking matter anyway because his Japanese girlfriend called me.”

“What did she say?”

“ _No se!_ She don’t speaka da English.”

“You’re the most racist person I know,” Noct announced. “And if it’s who I think it is, she’s cute, but not much there.”

“Okay. Remember last year when you got back from KFC—”

“Wait—”

She rushed out, “Noct got home from KFC and bitched about the black people not having any fried chicken ready.”

“I waited in line for twenty minutes,” he said indignantly. “They were all just standing around.”

“Just fuck each other and get it over with,” Prom said, disgusted.

She told Prom, “Gimme your shirt.” And he gave it to her. And Noct took off his shirt too, but she made a show of throwing it in the backseat.

She honked and drove away. It took her five days of dicking around before she finally made it to her new home, without tears.

**

2 months later

Noctis and Prompto still have not moved from Prom’s apartment. They fuck each other and are faithful, but don’t applaud too soon, it hasn’t been very long. They argue incessantly about whether to live downtown or in the suburbs, private school or public school. Cindy and Noctis have a decent relationship and Emma loves her new daddy.

 

Olivia is settled in and eats mostly vegetarian and vegan because she’s surrounded by hippy liberals. She lies out on the beach and only covers her face. She goes on a few dates but doesn’t fuck anyone.

She considers changing her cell phone number when a foreign call comes through nightly for a week. She doesn’t answer and whoever it is doesn’t leave a message.

At work the admin passes on an urgent phone call. Liv answers expecting another fire to put out.

“Hello, this is Olivia.”

“Hello, babygirl.”

She immediately closes her legs. “Who is this?” she asks.

He doesn’t answer. They listen to each other breathe.

“Hold, please.” She watches the light. It’s lit for nearly an hour before he finally hangs up.

 

She gets home and when she steps in she notices the size thirteen boots at her door. She looks around the darkened hallway and then sniffs the topline of one boot. It smells like heaven. She doesn’t hear Red barreling down the hallway to greet her. She tiptoes through her apartment and in her bedroom she finds Ignis passed out. He has certainly made himself comfortable, under her covers and nearly naked. She takes a few pictures of him sleeping. The gall of this dude. But what is worse is Red who doesn’t even move to greet her mama as she lies next to him.

“You’re supposed to sic ‘em, not cuddle ‘em,” she says. “Some protection you are.” And because the urge to punch him in the face is so strong she backs out. She starts dinner and as it finishes she makes a list of pros and cons (at the top of both lists is “fucking”) and she jumps about ten feet in the air when he asks her what she is writing. She looks at him in disbelief. He is in his underwear and he looks scrumptious.

She doesn’t say a word but she makes him a plate of food and serves him.

“What is _that_?” he snarls, and she jumps. She looks down at her hand.

“It’s my mama’s wedding ring. I’ve been hassled a lot at work.”

He doesn’t say anything.

“Like it’s any of your fucking business.”

“I missed you.”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

She ignores him. “Why do you…look like a civilian?”

“Because I’m in my underwear.”

She waits.

“I resigned my position.”

“And?” she prompts.

“And what?”

“Your girlfriend?”

“Oh, that was done…six weeks ago.”

“Why?”

“I realized I didn’t want her.”

“Do you know what you want?”

“Yes.”

She takes a moment. “Are you gonna fuck me over without telling me first?”

“No.”

“So, you’re broke and looking for a sugar mama?”

“Maybe.”

“I don’t want you anymore,” she says bravely. Which is what she should have started off with, but she is stupid.

He doesn’t say anything.

“I’m dating someone.”

“Then break up with him.”

“No.”

“I don’t want you to fuck anyone else, ever again,” he says.

“What about women?”

“No.”

“This is gonna be harder for you than for me.”

“Who said anything about me?” Ignis says and she throws herself at him and he catches her.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for reading. I hope you were at least mildly entertained. I pray that you were greatly aroused. To those who left kudos or bookmarked—you have earned a special place in My Heart Forever.   
> Gods Bless You   
> P.S. DISSIDIA NOCTIS IS FUCKING LIT


	10. Alternate Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the Holidays Prompto and Noctis tell Ignis to stay away from Olivia. After Emma is born Liv half moves into Prom’s place. Noct ships a huge bed to Prom’s house, one that takes up most of his bedroom. Prom’s house is gross but houses all of Emma’s stuff and Liv doesn’t like Red XIII being around Emma in case she decides to eat the baby’s face, so they shuffle constantly. At some point while Noct is in Japan Cindy moves herself into Liv’s but she’s always out and about because she is hot and doesn’t like to hang out at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the *redacted*  
> Suicidal ideation  
> Eating disorder  
> Blood stuff   
> 2 Rape Scenes   
> Ignore the transition and logic fails

Noctis woke up in a strange bed and tried to remember where he was. He looked around and saw a lump and poked it. It was Liv and she whined as he poked her some more. They had been…drinking as usual although he didn’t have a headache. He squinted at the clock. It was either two in the afternoon or two in the morning. Judging from the light through the cracks of the window shades, it was in the afternoon.

“What happened?” he asked.

Prom appeared at the door. “Sleeping beauties,” he said and sniffed and rubbed his nose.

“What the fuck?”

“You guys started drinking when you woke up.”

“Oh.” Liv had called it Sunday morning church. He chuckled. “C’mere.”

“I’m busy.” Prom disappeared but reappeared quickly. Noct pulled him on the bed. “You’ll wake Liv,” he whined.

“So?”

He tickled him and they kissed and humped each other and giggled.

“Shut up!” Liv whimpered.

“Get to work,” Noct told her.

After a while she muttered, “Doin’ what?”

“Sitting on my dick?”

“Nah.” She rolled over.

“You need to take care of one of us,” Prom said.

“I thought you were the nice one?” she said.

Noctis whispered something to Prompto and he grabbed her. Prom pulled off her tank top and Noct wrestled around with her leggings while she laughed desperately. “I’m gonna pee on you,” she warned.

“So?” Noct said as Prom pulled off his own clothes. Noct bit her nipples and she squealed and opened her legs and Prom pushed in while she grasped Noct’s boner. She sat up a bit so she could take Noct’s dick in her mouth without straining her neck while Prom fucked her until exhaustion.

“Your turn,” she told Noct. Her entire body was wet from sweat and saliva and Noct’s pre-come.

“What happens in this room…” he said.

“Should be broadcast to the world?” she suggested. And she watched as Prom and Noct wrestled with each other and then Prom made him get on his knees and he topped him. Noct’s face got even redder and she kissed him and put her hand over his on his dick and felt him come. And then he told her to go away so they could clean up and she giggled and went to the living room.

**Happy Birthday, Prompto!**

The day before Prompto’s 26th birthday Liv asked him if he could stay the night at her place because she had to go in early to work. He told his boyfriend and Noctis complained.

 

Prompto got to Olivia’s place late and they hang out while watching reruns of the Simpsons. They went to bed and the next day Prom woke up to her alarm. He listened to her rummaging around in the bathroom.

“Gimme some morning breath,” he whined while XIII wandered around.

She kissed him and her breath was sweet and he grabbed her.

“You have eight minutes,” she warned and he made her get on top of him and he slapped her ass as she rode him. She came in five minutes and he rolled her over and came in one.

“I love you,” he said while he was still inside her.

She laughed and he pulled out and they laughed some more and they got dressed.

“I have a surprise for you later, I have to get it wrapped,” she said happily and he picked her up and twirled her around.

He walked her to work and dropped XIII off at daycare. When Prom got home Noctis was up. Prom looked at him quizzically.

“I have to tell you something,” Noctis said.

“What?”

“The good news or the bad news first?”

“Bad.”

“Wrong choice.”

“Then why’d you ask?”

“A bad habit from my father.”

“Hey, I know that guy.”

“Um…I only told my dad. Just in case.”

“What’re you talking about?”

“I didn’t know whether to—”

“You’re freaking me out.”

“Go look under your pillow.”

 

Noctis waited a while, then drifted in.

Prompto looked at him and Noctis couldn’t read his expression.

“What’s the bad news?” Prom asked.

He didn’t answer.

“What?” he challenged.

“I don’t like to share.”

After a while he said, “Do you even know what monogamy means?”

He didn’t answer.

“You didn’t tell Liv?”

“No, I didn’t tell anyone, I said that already. Look, I knew you’d act this way. If you want her you can keep her but nobody else.”

“Are you going to have a girlfriend?”

He shrugged. “Stop pouting.”

“She’ll be pissed.”

“She got over the baby, she’ll get over this.”

“Noct…”

“What?”

“She’ll do exactly what...”

“So?”

“I never once tried to get in the middle of you and Luna.”

He scoffed. “Because you couldn’t.”

“You did that on your own, huh?”

“Fuck you.”

Prom didn’t reply.

“So, is that a yes?”

“What took you so long?”

“Oh Gods,” he groaned. “’Cause we have a baby now?”

“Not everyone wants to get married, Noct.”

“It’s important to me.”

They were quiet for a while. “Give me a backrub,” Prom ordered and Noct did. A good one, too, because he fell asleep.

 

Cindy was making a surprise appearance for his birthday party so they agreed to meet up at the bar. When they were almost out the door Noctis asked Prompto casually where his ring was.

“I’ll put it on tomorrow,” he said.

Noctis sat down on the couch and turned on the TV and ignored him.

Prom put on the ring and they left.

 

Cindy pulled Olivia through the crowd. They found Prom and Noct in a back corner, a VIP area where for a mere hundred dollars you could floss for as long as your ass sat there. They had a drink and chattered loudly and Noctis made Liv sit on his lap.

“What?” Cindy screeched and grabbed Prom’s hand. “When did this happen?”

The bass and the lights suddenly made their pregaming stupid. Liv smiled brightly. “Congratulations,” she said. Noctis rubbed her thigh and she moved his hand.

“Wait—did you know?” Cindy turned to her.

Liv was prevented from answering by a guy trying to pick up Cindy. She ignored him until he left, abject despair on his face.

Olivia shouted out that she had to pee. She stepped out of Noct’s orbit and stood and walked blindly to the bathroom. She stumbled on the way but Cindy caught her.

“No crying,” she ordered in her ear.

“But—”

“We spent a lot of money on this make up.”

“I’m calling an uber.”

“Nope. We’ll get some dudes to take us home.”

“I don’t wanna.”

“You don’t wanna piss off these fuckers?”

They stared at each other as they waited in line. Liv texted a dude she’d kept on the backburner, telling him she just got dumped. She resolved to get wasted as she waited for him to text back. They headed back from the bathroom.

Their acting was worthy of Academy awards. The women flirted and smiled. Liv kept shaking her head and acting like she couldn’t hear Prom, because the music was fucking loud. Liv and Cindy danced and a dude got between them and she made out with him because he was an 8. They were being jostled on the dance floor when the guy went flying—Noctis had pushed him. He grabbed both women, Cindy whooping with laughter, and they escaped through a back door.

“I can’t go to jail here, Dad’ll kill me,” Noct explained to everyone as they ran to the car. A few dudes catcalled Cindy and she pulled up her dress and showed them her bare ass, to thunderous applause.

Prom grabbed Liv and pushed her in the backseat. From the front passenger seat Cindy played loud rap music from her phone and laughed with Noct, who probably should not have been driving.

“I hate you,” Liv told Prom.

“Nope,” he said and he pressed his body against hers and tried to kiss her. She felt his ring.

“You couldn’t even get me yourself. You sent your _fiancé._ ”

“I’m not jealous.”

“Aren’t you evolved.”

“This doesn’t change anything.”

“Why didn’t you text me?”

“I’m sorry,” Prom whispered and she cried, which was embarrassing.

They made it home and Noct cut the engine.

“I’ll see y’all at brunch tomorrow,” she said clearly and no one spoke. Noct started the car again.

When Liv and Cindy got out Noct said, “Give me a kiss.” She did.

Prom said good night as he waited by the car door and she waved them off.  

 

Cindy and Liv went to bed.

“Whatcha gonna do?” Cindy asked.

“Nothing.”

“What?”

“They’re dead to me.”

“Why?”

“Three strikes, Cindy. Noct. Emma. Marriage.”

“That sounds like two strikes. You’re just jealous.”

“Yep.”

“I dunno why Noct didn’t tell you. Aren’t there rules?”

“He did it on purpose.”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t’ve noticed if they weren’t acting all weird.”

Liv stared at her phone and cried. Prom had texted her good night.

“What can I do?” Cindy asked.

“Go back in time.”

“If I could turn back time…if I could find a way…” she sang.

“Shut up.”

“Let’s get back together.”

“Nope.”

“We’ll see about that,” Cindy said.

 

Liv didn’t reply to any messages. The next day Prompto woke up at nine am, goddamn early, and even after smoking a blunt couldn’t go back to sleep. He wandered over to Liv’s. She didn’t answer her door and he went in and walked around the empty apartment. He went home.

 

“She’s pouting,” Noct said. “What’s the big deal?”

After a while Prom finally said, “I thought I was going to die when I heard you and Luna were engaged.”

“I know. That’s why you made friends with Nyx.”

“Yup. It was all a part of my plan.”

Noct hugged him and kissed him.  

 

Prom didn’t hear from Liv or Cindy. Sunday he picked up Emma from her great aunt’s house.

 

No answer Monday. He even called Liv’s work. When he harassed Cindy she answered through text, _why you care?_ He went to Liv’s job Tuesday right before her usual lunch hour. The receptionist winked at him.

“Hell-oh,” she said. And he asked for his girlfriend and she gasped. “ _Olivia?”_  she called an extension and pointed an acrylic tipped fingernail. Prom shuffled off.

“Who are you? Why do you want Liv?” a woman demanded in the hallway.

“I’m Prom. I’m trying to get ahold of her—”

“Are you from the Board?”

“No.”

She sagged forward and gripped him and threw him in an office. She smelled of vodka and breath mints.

“What happened?” she appealed to him.

“I’m not sure…” he regretted coming.

“She came in yesterday and she _lost it._ She cussed me out—well not really, but kinda—and she grabbed her shit and left!” she looked at Prom in abject amazement. And then she _cried._ “Who’s gonna run this place?” she yelled at him.

“You?” he suggested tentatively.

She ignored his answer. “Do you know her boyfriend?” she asked anxiously. “Maybe I should call the police.”

“Why?”

“He’s a violent young man. He knows kung fu and beat up…a client over Christmas! In my own home! She could be dead in a ditch somewhere for all we’d know!”

Prom got up to leave.

“Tell her I’ll double her salary!” she screamed as he left.

 

He spent an hour and a half driving to her house in her hometown. It was locked up.

 

Later in the week Cindy came over to pick up the baby. Noctis let her in and tried to take the giant box she carried. “We don’t need a roommate,” he said.

She ignored him and heaved the box on the countertop. Prom came out with Emma.

“Hey,” he said.

She took her baby and gave her a loud kiss. She used her free hand to pull out her phone.

“Emma stole my memory,” she explained. “Liv needs her N64, and there’s a comic, the watchers?”

“I got it,” he said and didn’t bother correcting her.

Noctis looked through the box. “I told her, she can keep the laptop.”

“Shut up,” she snapped. Noct responded by leaving the room. She poked around and grabbed some more stuff of Liv’s. Prom helped carry all the stuff downstairs.

“Where is she?” he finally asked.

“Please. You think you’re the only dude tryna fuck her?” she smirked. “Get over it and get married.”

“Okay,” he said and kissed his baby goodbye.

“Oh shit, I almost forgot.” She grabbed a wrapped gift in a milk crate from the trunk. “She didn’t want it to break. It’s your birthday present. She said she was gonna send it back, but she got over it. She said to ignore—no, _disregard_ the note she wrote inside.”

“Tell her—”

“Gotta go!” she said loudly and drove off with his baby.

Prompto drifted upstairs and set the gift by the TV. He didn’t open it. He looked in the box. Hoodies, movies, tv shows on DVD, laptop. He decided to smoke a blunt before opening the gift. He watched Noct tiptoe in and handle it.

“I know where she went to get this wrapped,” he announced.

“Sit it down!” he roared at him.

“You _set_ something down,” he said snottily but he scuttled out.

Sufficiently high, Prom opened the gift, expecting something…bad. Something didn’t feel right…

He took the pieces out carefully. It was a vintage polaroid camera in the original frayed packaging. The note was on a plain index card and in multicolored gel ink it said, *heart heart* _Prommy I love you_ *heart* _Livvy_

Prom folded it and tucked it in his pocket. He would have to find a way to hide it.

 

“Where’s the card?” Noct asked later.

“She’s cheap. She doesn’t believe in them,” he answered. Which was technically true.

 

Thursday Prom went to her apartment again. He crept in without knocking and came face to face with Cindy and a strange woman cuddled together watching Netflix. They looked at him, unperturbed.

“What?” she said without moving. “Where’s my baby?”

“At home with Noct.”

“That loser?”

“Where’s Liv?”

She giggled. “She’s in Paris.”

“She doesn’t have a passport.”

“She’s in Mexico.”

“You need a passport for Mexico,” the girlfriend said.

“What? Nuh uh. They’re like…the fifty-first state. At least a territory! What the fuck?” she sat up in indignation.

“Why would we need a border wall if they were a state?” the girlfriend asked.

“Politics, politics,” she answered airily. “Ivanka and her Jewish husband are solving all that. Haven’t you been reading Jezebel?”

Prom said impatiently, “She deleted her Instagram.”

“She was getting harassed already.”

He was confused. “Harassed by who?”

“Who else but trolls on the internet? Don’t worry about it. Worry about your wedding,” she said coldly and he left.

**Fundraiser**

Noctis spooned Prompto in bed. “Let’s see Liv tonight.”

“She quit her job.”

“What? How do you know?”

“I know everything.”

“That’s my line. Anyway, I checked. She’ll be there.”

“You spoke to her?”

“Maybe.”

“You’re full of shit. We’re not going.”

“I paid $500 for that table.”

“No.”

“I’ll go by myself.”

“Leave her alone, Noct.”

“I miss her. I was fucking her too, remember?”

“That’s not going to work.”

“What?”

“Just showing up and expecting her to go crazy over you.”

“It did before.”

They stared at each other.

 

Noctis and Prompto arrived at the banquet hall. Cindy glared at them from the entrance, next to a tall redhead who never looked up from his phone.

“What are y’all doing here?” she sneered.

“Where’s Emma?” Noct asked.

“I left her in the car with Red watching. Don’t worry, I cracked the windows.”

 

They were ushered in and Noct complained about the location of their table and they were moved to one closer to the stage. The place was packed with Concerned Senior Citizens and hot young athletes. It took Prom a while to spot Liv; she was speaking to an older couple and talking animatedly. She carried Emma.

“She looks good with a baby on her hip,” Noct said. “She’s not coming over?”

“She’s working.”

“I have more money than all these losers combined.”

“Stay here,” he told his fiancé and chased her down. She noticed him halfway to her and she grimaced and then smiled graciously. The couple drifted away and the baby reached for her daddy and she let Emma go.

“Thanks,” she said. “People donate more when they see a white baby.”

“What happens if the baby’s not white?”

“Then they try to adopt it.” A beat. “Why are y’all here?” she asked.

“Noct didn’t want to lose his five hundred bucks.”

She laughed and that hurt his feelings. “He reminds me a lot of my dad.” And that made him feel worse.

“How?”

“He’s funny…and cruel.”

“Olivia,” an old man donor wheedled, aching for attention.

“I’ll be right there!” she answered sweetly and muttered, “If this *redacted* grabs my ass one more time…”

“Have him take you out for dinner,” Prom suggested. Emma patted his neck in agreement.

She smiled. “Yes, reward the bad behavior.”

“Liv, I’m sorry about…how this happened but I don’t see why it changes anything.”

She nodded like she agreed. “It was fun for a while.”

“Noct—”

“He doesn’t want me, Prom,” she said easily.

“He said he missed you.”

“He misses…” she waved to someone. “Find another woman,” she told him. “There’s an app for that.” She began to drift away.

“Thanks for the gift,” Prom mumbled and she smiled at him prettily. He walked away with his daughter.

 

Alcohol circulated while the catered dinner was set out. Prom rubbed Emma’s back and Noctis threw back drinks.

A beautiful black man walked through the crowd. 6’6, clean shaven, no tattoos. Prom stared at him as he approached.

He sat near Prom, stared at Noct and then Prom.

“Can I help you?” Noct asked.

The stranger addressed Prom. “Can I hold your baby?”

“No,” Noct answered for him.

He smiled and addressed Noct. “Congratulations on the engagement. That’s what’s up.” He looked at Prom. “I thought you’d be taller,” he smirked and then laughed.

Prom’s heart sank.

“Who are you?” Noct demanded.

“Y’all don’t know who I am? I’m famous!”

“So am I,” Noct said.

Prom shook his head, the dude shook his head, looked at Prom sympathetically and then ambled away.

“Now we know where she’s been.” Prom jiggled Emma.

“What a douche,” Noct said.

“You need to get her back,” he replied tersely.

“We already talked about this—”

“So?” Prom mimicked.

“How was I supposed to know she’d find someone who looks better than you?” Noct complained.

“Fuck you,” he hissed and the baby cooed and they were silent.

Cindy sashayed in with the gentleman from earlier and they sat at their own table. She waved at her baby and then glared at Prom. Emma sat there quietly and looked about her very seriously. The fundraiser began.  

 

Prom listened to the boss woman from Liv’s job. “Before we get started I would like to thank the business people of *redacted*. Not to mention the fine young athletes of the *redacted*. And finally, my deputy director—get on up here, Liv!” She clapped enthusiastically and everyone followed suit. Liv stopped whispering with an older woman and looked up, startled. “Speech!” she said brightly and shoved the mic in Liv’s hands. Liv looked around.

“She looks like a sunbeam in that dress,” Noct muttered.

Liv cleared her throat. “Thank you all for being here. Uh, my mama said, save the world. And my daddy said, how are you gonna do it? And that’s why I’m here. Just…trying to help. Thank you, all.” And she handed the mic back and everyone applauded enthusiastically for the short speech.

Boss woman and a gentleman started the raffle and followed with the auction, concluding with a wine trip for two at a local winery bed and breakfast.

“Disgusting,” Noct said. “Who the hell drinks the local wine?”

But then The Stranger bid on it. And so of course Noct had to as well. At first the battle was among five people but then it was Noct and the dude. The bidding had started at a “low two hundred dollars!” and was now up to two grand. The dude raised the amount by a hundred dollars every time. Noctis became exasperated and said four grand and people gasped and then the dude said forty-one hundred and everyone tittered. And then Noct said six and the dude looked at him but didn’t raise him.

“Wonderful!” bosslady shrieked and everyone cheered.

 

They waited awhile and Noctis was to pay up but he said he wanted Olivia to do it and the intern ran off to find her. The dude walked over casually with Cindy as Liv approached.

“Thank you for supporting American families,” Liv said politely.

“Yes, they need all the help they can get,” Noctis announced and waved his black American Express. “Can you get a drink? Tonight?” he glanced at Prom.

“I thought y’all were keeping Emma tonight,” Cindy whined.

“I am,” Prom said.

“I have plans,” Liv said.

“She can go,” dude said and she rolled her eyes but didn’t contradict him.

“Who are you, again?” Noct asked rudely.

“Tyrell,” he said as if it should be obvious. “Number eleven.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for…diversity.”

“The quota has been filled,” he answered pompously.

“He plays for the *redacted*,” Liv cut in while Tyrell laughed.

Noctis feigned confusion. “And what are you doing with him?”

“We are…” she looked around. “Dating.”

“What?” he was shocked. “He doesn’t seem like your type.” And he laughed while Cindy chuckled and shook her head.

“I’ll give you that one,” Tyrell said and laughed too while Liv and Prom looked irritated.

 

Noctis took Olivia to a bar near the banquet hall while Prom drove home with Emma.

After they squeezed into a corner booth he tried to kiss her and she turned her head.

“You fuck that guy yet?” he asked. She stood to leave. “Gods, I’m sorry.”

“There’s only one God,” she said and sat down again. And then they didn’t talk to each other, but they drank. Tyrell texted her and she ignored it. Prom texted her and she finally blocked him. And then she texted Ignis some abuse about the engagement and he texted back and she ignored it and he called her and she ignored it.

“That was really embarrassing,” she said. “Prom’s birthday, I mean.”

“It was time to get rid of you,” he said, unashamed.

“You didn’t have to be mean. I didn’t sign up for this shit, I didn’t know anything about you.”

They were quiet a while. “I like you, too. But…”

“I got it, Noct. Tell your fiancé to stop coming over.”

“Okay. Thanks for not being hysterical.”

“Fuck you. Are we done, now?”

“How am I supposed to get home?” Noct looked around.

“Practice your adulting.”

“Can you come over tonight?” he wheedled.

She scoffed. “No.”

“Why?”

“I have plans.”

“With who?”

“None of your business.”

“Prom’s been angry all week. I have to tell him something.”

“Tell him the truth. You don’t want me.”

He didn’t say anything.

She dropped a bomb. “You didn’t tell Ignis?”

He was irritated. “You tattled?”

“Fuck you.”

And he ordered another round. And after that one, another round magically appeared and then they were giggling about that one time Prom almost fell to his death off a slide during a trip at a waterpark. She texted Tyrell because she was horny. And then Noctis kissed her and she kissed him back but then pulled away.

“Just…just tell me you like me better than him,” he said, his eyes almost closed.

“Give me your phone.”

She called Prom and he answered.

“Hey?” he said.

“Hay is for horses,” she said.

“Are you coming home?” he asked hopefully.

“Noct’s drunk. I’m calling an uber, or you can pick him up.”

“Emma just fell asleep.”

“Okay.”

“O-kay,” he said.

She listened to him breathe. “He’ll be home soon.”

“Olivia…”

She waited.

“We can have a separate ceremony,” he said. And that was…kinda funny. She laughed.

“I gotta go.”

He ignored her. “How long have you…known Tyrell?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“He tells you what to do.”

“False.”

“I don’t want you fucking another dude,” he muttered.

“I don’t want _you_ fucking another dude,” she hollered.

“Yeah,” Noct said loudly and she giggled.

“When’d you meet him?”

“Like…maybe a month or two ago. I thought you didn’t get jealous?”

“You’ve been fucking that dude for two months?” he asked incredulously.

“I haven’t fucked him yet.” Noct laughed loudly and she pushed him away.

“Like I believe that,” Prom muttered.

She laughed loudly and hung up.

She sent Noct outside but he reappeared with Tyrell. “I don’t wanna hear about your uber rating, I tipped him with cash,” he slurred.

“Ugh!” she said and they went to Tyrell’s car. Noctis got in the passenger seat. A woman passing by in Club Attire tried to talk to Tyrell and he said politely he was leaving. The woman glared at Liv and walked off. Liv asked Tyrell, “Was he rude?”

He shrugged. “He asked how big my dick was.”

“Sorry about all this.” Noct honked the horn. “This mofo,” she added.

“Want shotgun? I’ll kick him out.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

During the drive Noct rambled about the auction and Tyrell humored him. At his apartment Prom came down with the baby who was now awake at this late hour. 

“Oh God,” Liv said.

“If I can’t have Luna he can’t have you,” Noct announced loudly to no one and fell out the car.

Prom stepped by him as Liv exited the car to get in the front.

“Did he try?” Prom asked anxiously. He glanced at Tyrell.

“What?”

“Was he nice?”

“What do you think, Prom?” she said derisively.

“Wait—okay. Liv. What do you want me to do?”

She watched Noct stumble into the condo building. “Kill Noct. _And_ the baby.” And she poked the baby’s little foot and Tyrell laughed. She got into the car.

Prom scowled and leaned down. “I googled you,” he smirked to Tyrell. “How’s your ex-wife doing?”

“Nothing about my stats? Pitiful. My ex-wife’s doin’ great. I’ll see her next week when I see my baby girl,” he answered easily.

Prom glowered, then addressed Liv. “Call me later.”

“You wish,” Tyrell said. “Go take care of your family.”

He answered heatedly, “I am taking care of my—”

“I’m not about to be someone’s secondary, Prom,” she interrupted. “I can google too.”

“She gon get her _own_ secondary,” Tyrell chortled.

“It’s not like that—” he started and then appeared to realize something.

“Have a good night, Emma,” she said cheerily and Tyrell pulled away.

 

A month ago Olivia was Cindy’s wingman for the night and they showed up to a member’s only lounge at ten pm on a Thursday night looking sexy.

“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God,” Cindy squealed. “I’m ‘bout to land me a big fish.”

“Who?” But then Liv saw him. “Aw, shit. He ain’t good for nothing but drama and STDs.”

“And a car!” she squealed. “Let’s go.” Cindy hauled her bestie up from the bar and they marched over, hand in hand. He watched them approach. “Where’s your entourage?” Cindy asked as she flipped her hair.

“They kept getting me in trouble,” he answered. He tipped his head. “What y’all drinking?” And they sat down while the wine magically materialized.

“What’s your name, mama?” he asked Olivia.

“This is my friend, Cindy,” she deflected with a big smile.

“Oh, so you have low self-esteem?” he smirked.

She ignored him.

“She has a boyfriend,” Cindy announced. “And her boyfriend has a boyfriend, and she fucks him sometimes too.”

He looked at Liv with even greater interest and then gazed at Cindy. “And what about you, Miss Cindy?”

“I had a baby with her boyfriend, but he wasn’t really _around_ then,” she answered confidently. “They were on a break.”

He nodded like he had heard it all before. “Y’all fucking?” he asked lazily.

“No,” Liv said.

“Yes,” Cindy said.

“Gimme your number,” he told Liv.

“No,” she said.

Cindy gave him Liv’s number while she sat there. “O-liv-i-a,” Cindy enunciated. “Need me to spell that?”

“Naw. You’re a good friend, I see,” he said.

“Her _very best friend._ ” And Cindy swept up and grabbed her friend’s hand and they escaped.

 

Back at Liv’s apartment Cindy popped her gum and glared at her friend. “You ruin everything,” she said softly.

“Revenge!” she answered gleefully.

Cindy made Liv fuck her that night. To make things fair. Then Cindy showed her a picture of Tyrell’s ex-wife who had already remarried. Her new husband was never photographed without his collar prominently displayed.

“He’s grooming you,” Cindy said helpfully. “That’s why they got divorced. Can two doms love each other without killing each other? I should ask my Instagram followers.”

Liv ignored her. But Tyrell texted her every Sunday night. Just to check in, he said.

 

At 3 am on the night of Prom’s birthday Tyrell picked Olivia up and she stayed with him. He didn’t pressure her about sex and listened to an abbreviated version of events with absolutely no judgement. She almost ruined it.

“Why’d you divorce your wife?” she demanded.

“I wasn’t what she wanted,” he said simply.

“You mean she wasn’t what you wanted.”

“No.” He was sad.

After a moment she said contritely, “I apologize.”

“Naw, I know what it looks like.”

They spent the week together in his mansion while she lost her mind. It was the off season of his professional basketball team so he did nothing but attend training, train at home, and eat.

**IIIGGGNISSS**

 “Hello, dear,” Ignis said.

“Mr. Scientia.”

“Yes, Olivia?”

“When are you coming to town?”

“For the wedding.”

“I asked _when._ ”

“You’re not going?”

“No, I told you. Will you visit me? Before or after?”

A long pause. “I thought you were dating someone.”

“It’s cool,” she answered casually.

“I am not sure about that.”

“Look, what’s the answer you wanna hear, then?”

After a moment he replied, “Are we…”

“Yes, we shall Ignis!” she shouted. “Stop playing games. Call me when you have an hour away from your very important work.”

“Just an hour?” he mused.

“You’re gonna get punished when you get here,” she threatened.

“Just to clarify…”

“What else do we do besides exchange insults and fuck?”

He sounded distracted. “Okay.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

 

Tyrell opened the door before Ignis had a chance to ring the bell. He was dressed in workout clothes and covered in sweat.

“Where’s the pizza?” he feigned ignorance.

Ignis turned to go.

“Hey, man. I was playing. I dunno how to act, I grew up in the hood,” Tyrell called out.

Ignis drifted back. “False.” They stood in the foyer.

“Finally, someone googled me.”

“I expended a lot of effort to do so.”

He looked Ignis up and down. “Y’know what Legs told me? She said, ‘don’t treat him like one of those *redacted* you run with.’”

After a second he asked, “Is that a compliment or an insult?”

“Ignis!” Olivia screamed, appearing from nowhere, and threw herself on him. “Don’t listen to anything he says.”

“Whatever,” Tyrell answered and disappeared.

She dragged Ignis around on a tour, chattering the entire time.

“Why am I here?” he asked.

She pointed outside a window and they watched Tyrell train in the backyard while Red trotted around. “We can hot tub later,” she squealed.

“What?” Ignis asked.

“Just…go with it.” She took him to a room that was mostly bare except for a bed and a TV. “This is my sanctuary.”

“Nice.”

“No, it’s not. He’s obsessed with decorating it but I won’t let him.”

“Why?”

“I need a safe place. He buys all my clothes and tells me what to do, I can have this.”

“And do you like that?”

“Duh. I hate shopping and decorating and shit.”

“You allowed this man to collar you after three months?”

She laid on her bed. “What’s it to you? Come here, Ignis.”

He stayed away from her. “Ethically speaking, one should ask a person before inviting him into your… kink.”

“You scared?” she asked slyly.

He kissed her and she kissed back and then he left that room because he had no idea what was going on. She complained but led him to the kitchen and she started dinner and ordered Ignis to make her a cocktail.

“Hey, can you label all these utensils? I haven’t seen like, two thirds of all the crap that’s in here. What the fuck is this, Ignis?” she held up a tool. Ignis was about to answer when Tyrell appeared, now dressed in jeans and a collared shirt.

“Hey, you know what that is? I voted for dildo,” Tyrell said. He glanced at his phone.

“Close,” Ignis said.

“Hey, can you drive a standard?”

Ignis looked at him.

“Is that a yes?” Tyrell looked at Olivia.

“That’s the face he makes when a question is *redacted*,” she said.

“I have a face like that, too.” And Tyrell made it and she nodded in approval.

“Y’all gonna have fun in the blood diamond car?” she squealed.

“Excuse me?” Ignis said.

“A Nigerian prince bought him that car,” she answered lazily.

“He’s from Liberia,” he corrected loudly. “Is my food gonna be ready, woman?”

She sipped her cocktail. “Never.”

Tyrell tipped his head at Ignis. He followed Tyrell to the car and told him how magnificent the Lamborghini Miura was. They hit the road and Tyrell gave him directions. The coffee shop wasn’t far from the gated community.

“Why do you look like that?” Tyrell asked.

“Why do _you_ look like that?” he answered, annoyed.

“Years of generational breeding. You?”

Ignis didn’t reply.

“It’s like…you were designed. You’re perfect.”

And Ignis finally got it.

“Oh,” he said.

“I thought Tits said you were smart.”

“I thought you called her Legs.”

“I call her Pussy, too.”

“You are very romantic.”

“That’s what my ex-wife says!” he sounded pleased and leaned over and sniffed Ignis. “What you wearing?”

“A special blend.” Ignis backed up the car out of the way of the low rent American made vehicles littering the parking lot.

Inside the coffee shop everyone fawned over Tyrell. He ate it up and introduced Ignis as his new business manager from “the UK or Australia or some shit.”

After a moment’s lull Ignis said, “I do not recall negotiating a retainer fee.”

Tyrell stared at him and said, “You’ll get paid later if you know what’s good for you.”

A pretty barista with a buzz haircut and a septum piercing brought out their drinks and only Olivia’s tea had her name written in fancy calligraphy on the disposable cup.

“How’s she doing?” she asked hopefully.

“Still hung up on a little lady not half as cute as you,” Tyrell smiled. They left for the car. “Those fucking losers,” he added.

“That is a rude way to talk about your fans.”

“Fans are *redacted*. You should hear those same fuckers after I lose a game. I don’t see nary one fat ass doing a tenth of what I can do.”

“Is that not what you signed up for?”

“Because I’m talented and handsome as all get out?”

“Yes.”

“Whatever…”

A woman with a gaggle of kids looked at them with a pained face while an older child escaped her clutches and raced over.

“Selfie! Selfie!” he screamed outside the car window and got his disgusting kid hand smudges all over the window. And Tyrell got out, kneeled, and gave him one.

 

Ignis drove back home and cut the engine while in the garage.

“Good job,” Tyrell nodded. “Bitches be dying from that shit,” he continued solemnly.

They waited there for a minute. Ignis burned the coffee on his tongue.

“You do not like Cindy, either,” he finally said.

“She’s ratchet.” A pause. “Do you know what ratchet means, Ignis?”

“Yes.”

“So, you know everything, then?”

“Yes.”

“Have you seen _Black Panther?_ ”

“No,” he admitted.

“Pitiful.” Silence. “Why aren’t you asking me a buncha nosy questions? My feelings are...” he placed a hand on his heart.

“I—” Ignis said.

“I’m not used to working this hard, Iggy. Can I call you that?”

“You can call me anything you want.”

“Finally, some feedback.” They waited there for a while.

Tyrell didn’t speak but placed his left hand on Ignis’s knee. Ignis looked at it and when he reached to touch it Tyrell snatched his hand away and grinned. He then reached back out very slowly and Ignis leaned in and Tyrell gently cupped his face with his right hand. Tyrell caressed his check and rubbed his lips with his thumb and Ignis sucked on it. He shuddered and pulled his hand away.

“Dunno…if we’re...compatible,” Tyrell whispered.

“For you. Yes.”

Tyrell sat back and they adjusted themselves and went into the house.

 

Inside, dinner was coming along. Ignis brought Olivia her tea. “Your girlfriend was there,” he said.

She rolled her eyes. “Organic free range cage free non GMO chicken or steak, Ignis?”

“Do you have anything genetically modified?”

“I…don’t have time,” she said.

“You better make time,” Tyrell said and he kissed her and she pushed him off. “The grill ready?”

“Check,” she answered.

He sighed heavily and went out.

“Ignis, can you make me another drink?” she licked a spoon for no reason in front of him. “What happened?” she asked. “You know why you’re here, yet? You piece of meat?”

He began to make her another cocktail. “I have never been so objectified in my life,” he finally remarked.

“Wrong.”

“What?”

“I guarantee you there’s a world out there objectifying you in much more horrifying and disgusting ways.”

 

They had dinner at a table that seated eight. Tyrell sat at the head and Olivia and Ignis faced each other. She kept toeing his shins and winking at him.

“Olivia does not seem to know her place,” he told Tyrell who laughed loudly while she scowled.

“I tend to pick women who are like that.” He shook his head. “It’s brought me nothing but pain and orgasms.”

No one had dessert and Olivia wrapped up the pie while Tyrell cleared the table. When Ignis tried to help they asked for more cocktails. They congregated in the den to watch sports highlights. Ignis sat in an armchair while the couple took a loveseat.

“When you heading to your hotel?” she asked Ignis.

“When I am told to leave,” he answered.

Tyrell checked his phone while Olivia drank.

“What’s going on?” she whined.

“You don’t attack people. You finesse them,” Tyrell told her. “Like I did you. Remember?”

“How did you do that?” Ignis asked.

“I sang her a few songs and ate her out. Easy.”

“Which songs?”

He cleared his throat. “Bitches, line up quick, for just one pogo stick,” he sang prettily.

“That wasn’t the song,” Liv said. “You’re mixing me up with someone else.”

“Oh yeah?”

“It’s called ‘Oh Honey.’”

“Yeah,” he said and then sang again. “Oh honey! Oh honey! So sweet, so thick and so good on my tongue…” he closed his eyes blissfully.

“Beautiful,” Ignis said.

“I know,” he told him. “So. Since you are the esteemed guest I’ll let you decide what you want. Consent is very important to me, and should be to all peoples.” He raised his hand as if he was bestowing the world with his benevolence. He looked at his phone.

“What?” Ignis asked.

“Regardless, I’m fucking him,” Olivia announced. “You promised, no matter what happened—”

“I have not seen any evidence that her collar means anything,” Ignis cut in.

“Oooo,” he said without looking up from his phone.

“You gonna let him do you like that?” Olivia squawked to her boyfriend and he sighed heavily and put his phone down.

“This issue is yours to fix,” he said. She rolled her eyes and he reached for his phone again.

“But—”

“Hunh?” he cupped a hand over his ear.

She stood and pulled off her top and unclasped her bra. She left her jeans on.

Ignis glanced at Tyrell and then stared at Olivia.

Olivia sat on Tyrell’s lap and he caressed her and ignored his buzzing phone. They kissed for a moment and he yanked her collar with a thick finger and she got on her knees and pulled out his dick and sucked it.

 

“The biggest you ever seen?” Tyrell bragged.

“The second biggest,” Ignis answered honestly.

He scowled, laughed and then scowled again as Olivia sucked. He pulled her off by her hair and Ignis observed the glisten of spit and the dazed look in her eyes as she stared at Tyrell.

“I had to correct some things,” Tyrell said. “Tell him.”

“I always swallow for the King,” she whispered back.

“Hunh?” he asked loudly and she looked at Ignis and when she tried to wipe her mouth he slapped her hand down.

“I always swallow for the King,” Olivia told Ignis.

“Take off your jeans,” Tyrell said and she started to and then he pulled her hands away and jerked the jeans down to her knees and bent her over his knee. He spanked her five times and the sound was loud. He then pushed her off and she put his dick in her mouth again and he looked at Ignis and came. And she swallowed all of it, cleaning him up. He wiped off her mouth with his thumb. He pulled up his jeans.

“You…” Tyrell told Ignis, breathing hard. He glanced at Olivia. “Pull up your jeans,” he told her and when she did so he sat her down on his lap and grabbed his phone. “Okay. I have to take care of some things. And you—Iggy, I’ll take care of you later?”

“Yes,” Ignis whispered.

“Don’t put your shirt back on until I tell you to,” he told Olivia and he put the phone to his ear. They were dismissed.

“Yes, King,” she said. And she walked to Ignis and took his hand.

 

Ignis tasted the leftover come in Olivia’s mouth as they kissed each other. He pressed her breasts together and sucked on her nipples. She writhed under him. He got her jeans off again and she laid there, beautiful. He turned her over and he ate out her pussy from the back while he rubbed her asshole and then he flipped her back over and made her orgasm. He mixed that with some spit and he rubbed her overstimulated clit with the head of his dick before he pushed in. He fucked her slowly and she held on and he came a little sooner than what he would have wished but she didn’t appear to have a problem with it.

 

They stayed in her bedroom. Olivia didn’t put her top back on and played an online game. Ignis was in his underwear nodding off to sleep when he heard the door open. He didn’t move. Tyrell moved through the room and he heard them kiss and she whined.

“When’s he goin’ home?”

“I guess tomorrow or the day after.”

“Wake him up so I can fuck him real quick.” Ignis felt breath on him. “Unless he don’t want it to be real quick,” Tyrell whispered loudly.

“Can I put my shirt back on?”

“Duh, woman. I was just showing off for our…”

“Illustrious?”

“ _Illustrious_ guest. Man, I shoulda went to college.”

Ignis sat up in bed. “You graduated from *redacted*.”

Tyrell smirked at him and grabbed his hand.

 

Back in his room, Ignis and Tyrell kissed tentatively. Ignis drew back, surprised.

“I’ve only fucked a few guys,” Tyrell admitted. “There aren’t a lot of men who…interest me.”

“Do I interest you?”

“All day every day since she showed me the pictures.”

“What pictures?”

He shrugged.

Ignis pushed him down on his bed and then straddled and kissed him again and this time Tyrell opened his mouth. Ignis kissed his neck and inhaled his scent and rubbed his face on Tyrell’s stubble. They kissed while they got hard. Ignis stood and pulled off his shirt and unbuckled his slacks. Tyrell pulled him closer and reached for his underwear and helped pull them down.

“She wasn’t exaggerating,” Tyrell told him and put Ignis’s dick in his mouth. And then Ignis was going to come so he pulled his dick out of Tyrell’s mouth and backed up to the bed. Tyrell kissed him again and pushed him down on the bed. Ignis rolled over to his stomach and Tyrell kissed the back of his neck and trailed light kisses all over his shoulders. “Wait here,” Tyrell whispered as if he could go anywhere at that moment. Ignis laid there and watched Tyrell rub lube on his hands. It was warm on his ass. He felt the curve of Tyrell’s two fingers inside him and almost orgasmed from the heat.

“What…is that?” Ignis gasped.

“A special blend,” he answered and kissed his neck. He worked him open. “You’re a good boy, Ignis?”

“Yes.”

Tyrell was a gentleman as he fucked Ignis. He whispered to him, Ignis was too fucked to pay attention, and he pressed his hand over the back of his head. Ignis came with a quiet whimper and Tyrell erupted right after and pulled out.

“Christ Almighty,” Tyrell said and strutted to the bathroom. He gave a warm hand towel to Ignis who took it. “You can stay with Legs tonight. If you want.” And then he disappeared from his own bedroom.

Ignis longed to look around the bedroom but he got cleaned up and went to Liv. He showered in her bathroom while she battled online. When he got out there was a bathrobe monogrammed with _TJ._ He fell asleep in her bed after plugging up his phone.

 

Late that night or early morning Tyrell came into the room and Ignis woke up and fell back asleep only to be interrupted a few minutes later by the shaking bed. Tyrell was muttering in his sleep. Olivia shook him awake and he frowned at her and then appeared to wake up.

“What were you dreaming?” she asked sleepily.

After a while he said, “I was battling some alien robot bitch,” he muttered. “Sorry baby.”

Ignis woke up for a third time because Tyrell was having a conversation with a flying nun. Olivia pressed a finger to her lips and he followed her out of bed. They went to Tyrell’s bedroom to sleep. When Ignis woke up again, Tyrell was standing above him with a coffee mug and a big smile. Olivia made breakfast and Ignis went to the wedding.

 

**Six months after the wedding**

Prompto realized that he would never be enough. Sometimes he was—a lot of women fawned over him, a lot of men fawned over him, a lot of humans fawned over him, but maybe they just saw something they wanted, not anything he could give.

 

Prom’s psychological musings began during a discovery. He found a condom wrapper. He found this condom wrapper in his pursuit of his dropped phone that had slid under the car seat of the driver’s side. He didn’t process the implications until he was walking through the grocery store with his baby.

He had asked about having a few dalliances a month ago and Noctis had shut it down. He thought they were happy, he had just been checking in—wait. He seized on a glimmer of hope. Maybe it was Cindy’s condom, or maybe Noct was fucking Cindy, which wasn’t that big a deal, although they could have asked him first.

He didn’t confront Noct. At some point, did it matter?

 

He asked Cindy. She denied it and looked at him sympathetically.

 

Noct insisted on moving. He contracted a real estate broker to buy vacant land in a gentrifying area. He wanted to build a new house near a downtown hospital.

“We’ll be murdered there,” Prom complained.

“You can’t get murdered at home,” Noct scoffed.

“And why not?”

“You can’t get hurt in a haven, you idiot.”

“Don’t call me names.”

“Okay, love of my life. Dad—”

“I want to go,” Prom said.

“Okay,” he said agreeably.

 

They visited Regis for two days. On the day before the flight home from Japan Noct and Prom laid in bed at a hotel.  

“You know…” Noct said.

“What?”

“We don’t have to go back.”

After a moment Prom replied, “You don’t have to come back with me.”

His husband raised his eyebrows. “Plenty of men don’t take care of their kids. What makes you so special?”

Prompto got out of bed and leaned against the wall.

“Ah, I’m just kidding,” he whined.

“Noct…” he said.

“Yes, love?”

“Who are you fucking?” he asked calmly.

“What are you talking about?”

He repeated the question. They looked at each other carefully.

“You,” Noctis said.

“You should stay here,” Prom said. “Let’s make things easy. I don’t need anything from you anymore.”

Noct finally sat up and after a while he answered, “It didn’t mean anything.”

“How many times did it not mean anything?”

He didn’t reply.

“Who was it?” Prom felt the rage building and it was sparked by Noct’s attempts to laugh it off. He ran to him and punched him in the face.

Noct sat there and shook with anger as he clenched his fists. “That’s your one free shot,” he snarled.

“Go home to your father,” Prom answered calmly as he dressed and left the hotel.

 

Noct was at the airport waiting for him. He had a black eye. They ignored each other on the flight, which was easy to do in first class.

 

At home Prom got a trac phone and harassed Liv. She finally called back and Prom answered and listened to Tyrell laugh for a while and Prom hung up on him. In the next second the incoming call notification read Olivia’s number and he answered because he was stupid.

“*Redacted*, please. You can’t afford to keep her in the style she has become…accustomed to,” Tyrell said pompously as if they were resuming a conversation. Prom hung up on him again.

 

Liv was still working for some reason so Prom gave a twenty to the Vietnamese noodle soup guy to call whenever Liv showed up for lunch. Pho guy called him to say that she was there. He ran over.

 

The door jingled as he opened it and she looked up as he approached.

“I thought I had custody of this place?” she asked.

“Nice to see you, too,” he said and sat down. “Hi, Olivia.”

“Hi Prompto,” she said stiffly.

“How are you?”

“Great,” she said and slurped her noodles. “Y’all?”

“Great!” he waved the server away.

“Ha ha,” she said. “Why are you bothering me if you’re not gonna eat?”

“I wanted to see you.”

“Please,” she rolled her eyes. “What happened?”

“You should come home.”

“So, what did Noct do?”

“He’s great,” he answered lamely.

“So, you’re saying you’d be bothering me right now if things were _great?_ If he was being the man of your _dreams?_ ” she laughed at him for a while.

“Fuck you.”

“Oh wow!” she laughed some more. “Whatever it is—I advise you to get. Over. It. He’s as good as you’ll ever get.” She finished her food. “I have to get back to work.” She checked her phone.

“I didn’t know you were a sub,” he finally said. “Kinda embarrassing I didn’t figure that one out. But it makes sense.”

She didn’t answer him.

“Do you know how important a collar is, Liv?”

She drawled, “Do you know how important a hubby and a baby mama _is_ , Prom?”

“Why don’t you hate her?”

“Have you seen a TV show called Nip/Tuck?”

“No.”

“Cindy likes to fuck, and you fucked her. You lasted a while, I guess. Good for you.”

“Tyrell hasn’t fucked her?”

“She tried once but he laughed at her.”

“Ouch.”

“I know!” she giggled.

“If I would’ve collared you, would you have stayed?”

“Firstly, woulda never happened.”

He waited. “Secondly?”

“I’m ready to go.”

“Just…a few minutes,” he said. He paid for her meal and she tried to sneak off and he caught up with her in the parking lot and shut the BMW door that she had just opened. “Please,” he said and made no mention of the fancy car she was driving.

She relented. “It’s too hot to walk,” she grumbled.

“Come on, it won’t take long.”

She followed him to the little white Baptist church on the street corner. They crept through the back.

“The memories. Did you really used to sleep here?” she asked.

“In the women’s restroom,” he admitted. Liv had been through the sanctuary but not the bathroom. They sprawled out on the couches that led to the toilet stalls adjacent. The place was immaculate.  

“Why? I thought you were atheist.”

“I am. I love churches, though.”

“That’s like a vegan loving a zoo.”

“Vegans don’t eat zoo animals.”

She rolled her eyes. And then she asked softly, “What happened?”

After a moment he answered, “He’s fucking someone.”

She sat up. “Is…that it?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…y’all aren’t open?”

“No, Liv.”

“This is confusing.” She shrugged. “It was just a matter of time, anyway. I thought he was beating you or something but only in places that you couldn’t see, or maybe he was—”

“He promised me.”

She shrugged again. “People say a lot of things.”

“I guess Tyrell said a lot of things.”

She flopped her arms up and down.

“You’d still be around if I’d bought you more shit.”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“And told you what to do.”

“Yep.”

“The car and that jewelry and all the clothes you’re wearing—"

“He covers my rent, I get to spend more money.”

“Bullshit.”

“How do you know?”

“’Cause we were together and I know you.”

“Nope, I was just the one you fucked until Noct started to miss you.” They sat there like that for a minute. “Jesus,” she muttered as she checked her phone. “I have to get back to work.”

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“For what?”

He tried to kiss her and she gave him one but then she jerked back.

“No, Prom,” she said and stood up, exasperated. So, he took the phone from her hand and pulled her back down to the couch. “Really?” she snapped and stood up again and he pulled her back down. He didn’t say anything. There was a long silence. She stood up again and this time she kicked him, but she wasn’t fast enough to escape. He grabbed her and pulled her back to the couch and he hugged her, and he pressed himself against her and she bit him on the neck, hard, which made his dick hard and he squeezed her, just a bit.

“Prompto,” she said and this was a voice he had never heard from her before. He pinned her wrists and worked her legs open with his weight and a knee as he humped her against the couch. She shook her head against his chest. “Not here. Please, Prom.”

First, he got the collar off.

“I’m on my rag,” she said and smiled but there were tears in her eyes. He wasn’t concerned about that but he stuck his fingers in and inspected them just in case. It was clear. One handed he pulled up her dress and shoved her panties to the side off her crotch and shoved his jeans to his knees and he pushed in. She was silent and he kissed her again and she closed her eyes.

“Liv,” he said and grabbed her leg and pressed in deep and fucked her. He waited until her legs were shaking and then he came inside her. His heart hammering, he pulled her panties back in place and pulled her dress down and she lay on the couch, limp, her eyes closed. He cried and she cried and they listened to her phone buzz.

After a while she sat up. He waited while she used the bathroom and straightened herself up in the mirror. She grabbed her purse and her phone.

He couldn’t say sorry, how trite it would be.

“You feel better, bitch?” she asked him.

He didn’t answer.

“If you don’t give it back, I can’t cover for you,” she hollered at him and started crying again.

He shook his head.

“You better get out of town,” she warned. “He’s gonna ask about it, I can’t just lie to him.”

But he wasn’t particularly worried about pain. He was used to it. He didn’t look at her. She left and he followed her to her car and she drove away. He went home to shower but instead changed his clothes and went on a run and thought of how different his life would have been if he hadn’t met her. He threw the collar into a pond at the city park.

He passed by her old apartment and Cindy’s car in the parking garage was visible from the street and his nerves went cold as he realized what the fuck he had just done. Cindy would find out, and keep Emma from him, and…

His phone buzzed and he jumped. It was Noct. He ignored the call and instead texted his coke dealer. He had some time to kill before heading home to shower and change.

Prom was entering his apartment when he was shoved in. He half fell and whirled around and he saw a dude outside the door as Tyrell slammed the door behind him and locked it.

“You know what she told me?” he barked at him. Prom didn’t speak. “You did it in a _church?_ Christ, you grade a cunt.” He loomed over him. Prom slowly reached for his phone and he snatched it from his hands and stomped, it thoroughly. And then he slapped him and called him a twink. And then he walked around the apartment and trashed it, laptops, TV, playstation. “I want you to know that it may seem like it but I won’t be enjoying this.” His voice was shaking in anger as he stepped closer. “I abhor violence. So. You gon make this easy for yourself? Or are you _gonna be difficult_?”

Prom was difficult. But Tyrell had a hundred pounds and almost a foot of height on him and he eventually sat on him and slapped him again with an open palm.

“I ain’t catching a case, motherfucker,” he said. He straddled him and pressed his weight down and Prom gasped for air. He hit him one more time, with his left hand. They sat there like that for a while.

“I can’t even get it up for you,” he finally said and he sounded…disappointed. He hauled Prom up and grabbed him by the hair and inspected his face. “She told me not to hurt you. It’s why I love her. She likes to pick up broken people. Between Cindy and you, man…”

Prom didn’t look at him and didn’t speak. Tyrell craned his neck back.

“Why?” Tyrell breathed. He waited as if he had all the time in the world. But Prom didn’t answer. Tyrell dragged him down the hall to an open doorway and threw him on the unmade bed. He looked around. “Y’all can’t afford a better place than this?” Prom didn’t answer. “Turn around,” he ordered, and Prom didn’t move. Tyrell moved closer and Prom tried to kick him in the balls but he anticipated that and grabbed his ankle and threw himself on Prom again. He forced him to turn his back. Tyrell thrust against him and Prom felt Tyrell’s dick get hard and he bit a pillow. He tried to prepare himself but the sound of the condom made him panic and he tried to wriggle off but Tyrell chuckled. He grabbed Prom’s hair and he took him unprepped and Prom tried to muffle the sounds of pain.

Tyrell pressed the palm of his hand into Prom’s back and curved himself against him. He was dead silent as he got into motion and rocked out a quick orgasm. He pulled out roughly and left the condom on the pillow next to Prom who didn’t move. He felt broken and ashamed but worst of all he had came all over himself. Tyrell left without another word. After a while Prom got up and limped to the shower. He cried as he cleaned up and then remembered he needed to pick up his coke. He dressed and stripped the bed and threw the sheets out. And he picked up his coke and got lit before leaving his dealer’s house. At home he smoked a fuck ton of weed as he blasted through the rest of the eight ball and ate a gallon of ice cream and barfed it up. When the sun came up he left the apartment the way it was.

 

Noctis got home a day later and panicked at the sight of the place. He called Cindy and found out that Prompto had signed a new lease and no, she wasn’t going to tell him where it was. Noctis cried.   

 

**The Stupid End**

Ignis answered Prompto’s call. He was hysterical.

“Is Noct there?” he shouted.

“No, Prompto.” Ignis assumed they were having a lovers’ spat.

“She told her!”

“Who told who what?” he was alarmed. He stood, and then sat again.

“Cindy was supposed to be here hours ago, she and Emma went to the lake with Liv and now her phone is off and then—"

“Maybe they just—”

“No way, she fucking blocked me, she texted me a picture of Emma with sunscreen and now nothing, SHE BLOCKED ME.”

“Why would she block you?”

“Fuck you, Ignis,” he screamed and hung up.

Ignis felt sick. He called Olivia and listened to it ring. He called Tyrell and it went straight to voicemail. He texted them both and took a twenty minute call on his work cell while watching his personal one. His girlfriend texted and he considered breaking up with her as he cleared the notification. He called Prom twice. No answer. He texted Noct. And he waited. After another thirty minutes Prom called him back and he was crying. He listened. “Prompto,” he said.

“They…were in a car wreck. They won’t tell me anything on the phone. I’m driving out to some hospital.”

Ignis controlled his urge to scream about Olivia and Tyrell and instead said, “Emma?”

“I don’t know!” he screamed and hung up.

Ignis booked the first ticket he could and called Regis as he left his home and headed to the airport. Noctis called him. He didn’t answer.

He prayed on the flight. When he landed he had 10 voicemails (five from his girlfriend) and 45 texts. His heart sank because he had no notifications from Tyrell or Olivia. He scanned Prom’s messages backwards. Emma was perfect…Cindy had a broken arm…and nothing else. Just rambling. _Prompto has lost it,_ he fumed and then realized Prompto didn’t know he had been fucking the couple since the wedding. Prompto’s phone was off so Ignis called Noctis and he answered immediately.

 

Prompto refused to stay at the bedside at the hospital and relieve Cindy. Noctis volunteered to stay and Cindy said no and told them to just take the baby home. Noctis glanced at Liv. She looked perfectly fine, but she was in a medically induced coma due to a traumatic brain injury.

Noctis trailed Prompto out the room and asked him what was wrong.

“I don’t want her to wake up and see me.”

“What happened?”

He didn’t answer and Noct’s phone rang. “Iggy,” he told Prom who walked away.

 

Ignis arrived at the hospital emergency room lobby. He felt utterly confused. Cindy ran to him, crying, the baby on one hip and her other arm bandaged. She told him the ICU room number of Olivia.

“Tyrell?” he said.

She shook her head. “They helicoptered him to the city, but they didn’t want to move her.”

He looked at her.

“She’s…unconscious. The doctor explained everything but I forgot it. Immediately.”

“Prompto?”

“He’s upstairs. I have to hurry back. He’s been completely useless and—” she glanced at her phone. “Jesus, he’s calling me right now. But look, I have to take a few minutes, okay? Can you stay awhile so he don’t bug out? The baby’s not allowed in, and Paw Paw can’t stand the chairs here for too long—”

“I will stay,” he told her, and she cried and left.  

 

Prompto, sitting at the bedside, didn’t greet him. “I know you were fucking them.”

Ignis ignored that statement. He bent over the bed and inhaled Olivia who looked as if she was sleeping. He stood in the cramped room.

“Ignis.”

“What. Happened?” he asked slowly.

“Well…” He was quiet. “I mean I _did_ something.”

“What did you do?”

“You have to take it to the grave, Ignis.”

After a moment he said, “Is she pregnant?”

“Uh—no. I don’t think so.”

“Because Noctis—”

“This _isn’t_ about Noct!”

“Okay, Prompto.”

“So, we were having lunch and—”

“Why were you two having lunch?”

“Shut up, Ignis. Basically, I—well, we argued and…”

Silence.

He pushed out the words. “We had sex after she said no.”

“You raped her?”

“Yes, Iggy. I raped Olivia.”

They didn’t say anything.

“Did she tell Tyrell?”

“Yup.”

“You…do not look injured.”

“He said he wasn’t getting arrested.”

“What did he do?”

“What do you think, Ignis?”

He absorbed that. “So that’s what you were worried about. She didn’t tell Cindy.”

“Nope.”

“I’m—“ his voice cracked. Prompto gazed at him.

 

Late that night Cindy texted Ignis and he called her. Tyrell was dead.

 

Noctis walked into the hospital room and looked at Ignis in astonishment. “Nobody told me you were here. Are you okay?”

He didn’t answer and asked impatiently, “Do you have XIII?”

“Of course I have XIII.”

“I do not believe you.”

“Iggy, people first. Now I can wake up Liv.” He looked around.

“You could not have done that before I arrived?”

“Magic has rules, you *redacted*,” Noctis said confidently. He slid the ICU room’s sliding glass door shut and shut the curtains. He pulled out a pocket knife and gave it to Ignis. “Hurry up.”

“What—”

“Give me some of your blood,” he said impatiently.

“We do not have time for games.”

“You don’t trust me?” he looked sad. “Shocking, I know. Give me five minutes, Iggy. Please.”

Ignis cut his thumb too deeply and Noctis took some of the drops in the palm of one hand and then quickly stuck Ignis’s thumb in his mouth and sucked for a minute before Ignis snatched his hand back. There was blood on his lip and Noctis looked at him, dazed.

“You’re magic,” he whispered.

“Fuck you,” Ignis said and looked like he was on the verge of tears again.

Noctis looked away and cut himself on the wrist. He bent down and got awkwardly under the hospital bed and drew a giant feather with the blood. It looked like some expensive ass abstract art.

He stood and declared, “For the American Indian natives, in honor of this great American state, and in honor of worldwide misappropriation and in the name of Oprah and Jungkook [his lip curled perceptibly] and oh, Jesus Christ Superstar…” he whispered, “Wake up Olivia,” and wiped his mouth and kissed her on the lips. They waited there for a minute.

“Noctis Caelum—” Ignis started and then both men jumped as Olivia sat up and screamed with her eyes still closed and the medical equipment started ringing and nurses raced in. The men were shoved out the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finishing up Post 11, which is a sequel of posts 1-9 and will feature Gladio


	11. THE SELF INDULGENT [DRIVEL] SEQUEL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> read the chapter title

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (sequel from post 1 to post 9; DISREGARD POST 10)  
> (around a year later maybe 2? Who knows??!)  
> Do not take fertility advice from this fan fic  
> Do not take relationship advice from this fan fic

**ONE**

It was quite atrocious how Gladio was always left out in these stories about the Bros. He was the best looking _and_ the tallest with the bonus of possessing the biggest dick. He concluded that the problem was that he was a Nice Guy. For 80% of the human population since the beginning of time, by the time a person figures out they want a Nice Person, they have already wasted years on Bad People and are too used up to appreciate what they could have had. In the quiet of his mind he did have to admit that maybe he was one of the bad people. Yeah, he was pretty sure he was just as fucked as 100% of the human population since the beginning of time.

 

Gladio was in Canada. He and Cor had a transatlantic love affair that alternated between hot and cold, both men too stubborn to compromise.

He checked his phone. Nothing but shiftless men and shiftless women and his stupid sister and his demanding half dead father and that loser boss of his.

“Eh, you’re shitfaced,” a dude sitting next to him said and Gladio really was intoxicated because he answered in Japanese, and then Spanish, and then in nothing because he had to get up and get home, Cor was calling.

 

Gladio was in Japan consulting with Regis. He was at a bar he didn’t usually frequent, one far from his family and employer. In walked Luna, alone. She didn’t appear to notice anyone and took a seat at the bar. Gladio drifted closer and she looked up, appearing pleasantly surprised to see him. They quickly caught up; Nyx had had to leave Japan to take care of a beloved elder in his family. In disbelief when Luna wasn’t willing to accompany him, they had broken up on acrimonious terms. She nursed her drink and refused a second one. Her big eyes drinking him in, she asked if he would be willing to provide some comfort. Of course, he could. They went to a seedy hotel down the way.

She got on top and used the tip of his giant dick, balancing on it as he kept a fist over his dick to not hurt her. She came so easily it was laughable and she squirted everywhere, and then fell over, horrified that she had urinated on herself, and then realized with shock what had happened instead.

“I would have rather peed,” she said, dismayed.

“That’s never happened before, baby?” He lit a cigarette and ignored his burgeoning hard on.

“Goodness gracious, no.” And then she laid back and spread her legs and he stubbed out the cigarette and made love to her, gently. She was small against him and her moans were soft, then loud, and then she screamed as she came again.

They fucked over the next three days at three different locations before Gladio said he had to leave and awkwardly stated, “I dunno when I’ll be back.”

“I’m just happy you took my mind of Nyx,” she answered sadly.

Gladio was in Chicago. He had received a call from his boss’s son a week before and they had arranged to meet each other. At the highly starred hotel he ate good food and drank that drank. He wandered up to his room and sat in the living room suite area and heard a knock at the door not even five minutes later and then someone entered with their own key card. Glad watched Noctis and Prompto stride into the room and they didn’t greet each other. Prom sat on Glad’s lap and caressed him without kissing, rubbing his hands on the stubble on Glad’s neck.

“Why are you over there?” Gladio asked Noctis.

He shook his head. “I’m just watching.”

Glad turned back to Prom. “He turned into a good boye?”

“Never,” Prom answered. “He just owes me one.” He kissed Glad and they kissed for a while before Gladio opened his mouth. Prom humped against him and then giggled. No one spoke as Prom slid to his knees and unzipped Gladio’s jeans and brought out his now hard dick. He gave head slowly, trailing kisses all over his thick cock before sucking in just the head. Glad watched him, his own mouth open, and Noctis watched, mouth open. Prom sucked and licked for so long Glad became impatient. He stood up and picked Prom up and threw him on the bed while he laughed. He glanced at Noct for approval and then helped pull Prom’s jeans and t-shirt off.

“Look at that,” Gladio said as he stood back.

“He’s so beautiful,” Noct said.

Prom blushed and stroked his dick and Glad laid beside him on the bed.

“Sit on my face,” Glad commanded. Prom sat on his chest and stuck his dick in his mouth and Glad took it all and he gripped Prom’s ass with one huge hand as Prom stroked back and forth. When Prom finally pulled out his dick, Glad sat up to see Noct with glazed eyes, his dick out, sucking on his own fingers. Prom walked over to Noct who promptly opened his mouth and sucked as well. Prom pushed him off but then Noctis grabbed him again and bent him over his knee and spanked him on the ass as Gladio stroked his dick. Prom had stopped laughing a while ago.  

Prom looked at Glad. “Fuck me.”

Glad did so slowly; he needed some control of the situation, after all. The Caelum-Argentum couple left at four in the morning.

Glad flew home.

Glad was in Southern California. Glad could always resist Noct’s smirk but Prom was something different. He was so soft and small yet hungry and sad, fucking him was the only choice. And Noct, taking off his clothes, getting on his knees while Prom whined in his mouth and then Noct, aggressive, bit at his fucking dick like an animal while Glad almost screamed, he needed to get off so badly. But then Prom got on his knees and both started licking and sucking properly. Noct panted, “I go first,” and he got on his back and whipped his legs up and before Gladio could think he was pushing in, and Noct was tight but welcoming, and he pumped as fast as possible while Prom waited, kissing Noct and ordering Gladio to be careful, he was next, and then Prom sucked Noct off in minutes, the come dripping from his lips, and he kissed Gladio and then turned around and bent over and Glad wiped off his dick and pushed in. Prom came even faster than Noct and Gladio bucked against him and came, finally, filling him up.

“I gotta get the fuck out of here,” Glad said, still breathing hard. Where the fuck had his clothes gone?

“Don’t worry about it,” Noct said arrogantly, still splayed out. “We can keep our mouths shut.”

But Prompto stared at Gladio as he grabbed his clothes and backed away to the bathroom. His phone buzzed. God, he was fucked.

He got the hell out of there.

**TWO**

Noctis was on his way to buy a Tesla. He stopped at a gas station, grumbling to himself about how difficult life was, when he looked up. Stepping out of a Mercedes at the gas pump next to him was…Ginger Prompto. He was a couple inches taller, maybe twenty pounds heavier, but it was a blue eyed freckly redheaded Prom.

“What?” Noct said.

“Yup?” the man said, raising his eyebrows. Gods be praised, he even sounded like Prom!

“What’s your name?” he demanded rudely.

“MT. It stands for—”

“What?” Noct asked.

MT grinned as he paid for his gas with a credit card. “You the only one asking questions? What’s your name?”

“Noctis.”

“Noctis. You married?” he asked casually, glancing at the ring.

“You look just like my husband.”

He nodded like he understood. “I see.”

Noctis completed his transaction and opened his door to go. “You’ll get me in trouble,” he hesitated.

“Not if you don’t tell him, right?” he smirked.

“Oh, he’ll want to know. Where are you going?”

“I was on my way out of town…”

“Perfect,” Noct said. “This won’t take long. Can I have your number?”

“Uh…do you have snap or kik?”

“Nope and nope. Look, I can meet you anywhere, anytime.”

“What about your husband?”

“He’s on my schedule. Prom’s probably sitting on his ass getting stoned or playing video games.”

“Hey, sounds like fun. Wanna meet at the Outpost? They’ve got good fried chicken,” he said helpfully.

“Tonight, right? Since you’re leaving town?”

“Yeah.”

 

At the Outpost Prompto drank and grumbled because his online friends were missing his contribution to the raid. But he stopped complaining when he looked up.

“Whoa,” Prom said.

“I know!” Noct crowed. MT smiled and came closer.

 

They closed the bar down. Prom was the designated driver and listened to Noctis and MT laugh.

“Uh…Prom?” MT asked during a lull.

“Yeah?”

“Do you…”

“He does everything,” Noct said and Prom punched him lightly.

“Here,” MT finally said and handed his phone over to Noctis.

“The secret’s out,” Noct said to his husband and handed the phone back.

“Pooney Pooney Poon-ay!” MT laughed, and they were cracking up again. “Dude. You ruined my gay life. My street cred. Do you know how many people call me Pooney?”

“Why are all your gay friends watching straight porn?”

“It’s 2019. There are no rules anymore!”

 

MT crept to Prom and they kissed. Noctis watched them and got hard immediately at the twincest. MT reached in for Prom’s dick and sucked slowly, kissing and slobbering all over it. He stood up and pulled out condoms. “Who’s fucking me first?” he asked.

“Noctis,” Prompto said and gestured to his dick again and MT grinned and got back on his knees and ate Prom’s cock again. Noctis took off his clothes and kissed MT mid suck and mid lick.

“Pull my hair,” he said and Noctis did, and then he told him to spank him and he did, and MT went crazy. Noctis lubed him up and was working him open when he growled at him to just fuck him and Noctis obliged, pushing in hard. MT moaned loudly with Prom’s dick in his mouth and with tears in his eyes he said, “Harder.”

Noctis made eye contact with Prom and they stared at each other as Noctis fucked him. Prom bit his lip and Noct smirked at him and Prom came in MT’s mouth. MT came right after without even touching his (enormous) dick and Noct pulled out without coming.

“Good,” MT noticed and then got on his back and opened his legs again and Noct dove back in.

 

A few days later they had discovered that MT was a unicorn bottom and he was…exhausting. He was eager for it, he demanded it. He would orgasm and get hard immediately.

“How old are you?” Noct asked irritably.

“Eighteen.”

Prom sat straight up in the bed and they looked at each other in a panic. “I need your license, right now,” Prom screamed but Noct was quicker and ran naked to grab MT’s wallet and inspected it with his husband, both men turned with their backs. Prom melted in relief to see that indeed, MT was 18. And it looked legit.

“Gods, you asshole,” Noctis said. And promptly sucked MT’s dick.

 

“Whoa,” Cindy did a double take and then poked the redhead. “Cabbage patch kid,” she muttered. “Did you murder my baby daddy?” she demanded loudly.

“Nope, Prom’s alright,” he chirped. “Hey, Cindy!”

“Christ, you sound like him. Who are you?”

“My friends call me MT.”

“What does that stand for?”

“Ma—”

“Hey!” Prom bounded in the front door, laden with junk food and retro video games and hurriedly dumped the crap on MT to take his baby. MT jumped in to assist by loading a video game to the appropriate console.

“What?” Cindy said. “Is my baby gonna be safe here?”

At that moment, from the bedroom Noct walked in and took Emma out Prom’s hands and kissed her. “Sorry, I had a call to make.”

“My baby better be safe!” she bawled out and promptly left, she had partying to do.

 

In the middle of the night Noctis woke up to pee. When he was finished he looked for MT. He was lying on the couch under some covers, pretending to rest. Noctis pulled the covers off and he was fully clothed.

“I gotta go,” MT said.

“Prom,” he said.

He shrugged and stood up.

“How were you…”

“I was gonna steal your car.”

“The Tesla I just bought?” he was insulted.

“Nope. The piece of shit that Prom drives.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I can actually get far enough away in it.”

“Touche.”

“You gonna report it stolen?”

“No. Don’t trash it, okay?”

“Yeah.”

He went to the door and waited while Noctis tried to ignore him.

“You coming?” MT asked casually.

Noctis looked at him and shook his head, and MT left.

 

Prom was disappointed. Noctis took him to Chicago and they wined and dined and Noctis said he had a treat for him which was the biggest dick known to man.

**THREE**

Cindy waltzed in and Prom smiled at her and little Emma. Noct gave the baby a kiss and resumed his gaming. Soon Cindy and Prom were laughing at Emma’s antics as she toddled around.

“Guess what?” Cindy trilled. She sat in an armchair.

“What?”

“Liv finally bought me a ticket! Took her long enough.”

“When are you leaving?”

“I wanted to ask you, first. My aunt’s been mad at me lately, I gotta be careful.”

“It’s good.”

“What about Noct?” she glanced at him with his headset. He threw it off in disgust and grabbed a soda and got on the floor to play with the baby.

“It doesn’t matter,” Prom promised, and she squealed and got on her phone. “How is she?”

“Who?” Noct asked.

“Liv.”

“Great, I think,” Cindy answered. “She sounds happy but—”

“What?”

“I dunno. It’s like she has a secret or something. But it doesn’t matter.”

“Why not?”

“Because we’re getting back together.”

“Really?”

“Yes! Noct’s rich, so we’ll all move to southern California and the baby will go to school with rich assholes and hate us because we’re all gay but it’s not San Francisco.”

“Sounds great.”

“She never told you about us?” she pouted.

“I figured,” Prom said as Noct picked up the baby and sat by his husband on the couch.

Cindy huffed. “I used to be an idiot. Now that I have a baby I’m a better person, more… _complete_. I see things differently and—”

Prom ignored Noct squeezing his knee.

Her phone buzzed and she jumped up in the air with glee. “She already bought it! This weekend!”

“That’s an expensive ticket,” Prom remarked. “Round trip?”

“Five nights…For now.” She kissed her baby and left.

“She’s delusional,” Noct said.

“Why?”

“Who’s going to pay for everything when they get together?”

“Not everything is about money.”

“Says the guy who did porn for money?”

“I was homeless when I got here!”

“I thought you lived off Aranea for a while?”

“For about a month. She called me kid all the time and then kicked me out,” he admitted.

Noct shook his head.

 

The next week Cindy texted Prompto from the airport. He left the baby with Noct and picked her up. She got in the car and didn’t say anything. He handed her a joint and drove carefully while she smoked. At home she said hi to Noct meekly and rushed to Emma. She sat on the floor and cried and they didn’t say anything.

“Don’t worry, I’m going home,” she said dully. “Thanks, guys. For everything.”

“You want to talk about it?” Prom said.

“She married a six,” she said and got up with her baby. “She married a six when she coulda had a ten. I—I can’t talk about it anymore.”

“Are you okay?” Noct asked.

“I need a counselor,” she said.

“She told you that?” Prom asked.

“No. I…well some stuff has happened and at some point you have to think. Is it me?” she shrugged. “I have insurance now. That should get me…three visits.”

“I’ll pay for it,” Noct said.

“You already paid my rent,” she said dismissively.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said.

She croaked out a thank you and left with Emma.

 

Cindy had wheeled through the airport, rolling her eyes at the uglies who ogled her and winking appreciatively at the nines and tens. She called Liv who was hanging out near the airport awaiting her arrival. They squealed at each other.

“Where’s the Range?” Cindy asked and leaned over and kissed her friend while a cop waved at them to get the fuck out the loading zone.

“I traded it in,” she answered. “Hungry?”

“Always.”

They chattered while Liv drove to a restaurant. They ate sashimi and drank vodka on the rocks. She showed Liv pictures of the baby, Noctis and Prompto.

“I can’t believe it’s been a **year** ,” Cindy said finally.

“Yeah.”

“I missed you.”

Liv rushed out, “I have to tell you something.”

“You’re pregnant.”

“No.”

“You’re married.” Although she noted Liv wasn’t wearing a ring.

“Yep.”

“To a Laker?”

“Worse.”

Cindy waited a long while and finished her drink and waved her glass at the bartender. “He who shall not be named?”

“Cindy—”

“Ignis.”

“Yep.”

“How’d he slither back in?”

She didn’t answer.

“You should have told me.”

“I know.”

“I wouldn’t’ve come out here.”

“I know.”

Cindy cried and Liv rubbed her back. “This wasn’t supposed to happen this way.”

“What was supposed to happen?” she sounded tired.

“You wouldn’t’ve given me another chance?”

“I did.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Okay.”

“Ugh, that’s what Prom does when he wants me to shut up. ‘Okay’.” She rolled her eyes. “I thought I was stayin’ with you.”

“Of course.”

“I don’t wanna be in that house with him.”

“Why not?”

“I’m gonna get rid of him,” she threatened and then hanged her head. “This is embarrassing.”

“Why?”

“I told Prom…” they ordered yet another round and then Cindy said, “I told Prom we were getting back together. And I don’t wanna look at Ignis and his smug face. Or his glasses. Y’all gonna have kids? He has bad genes, you can tell.”

“Cindy. You can’t tell Prom, or Noct.”

“Why not?”

“Please, Cindy. I mean it.”

After a while she said, “Okay, baby. So, me and you ain’t fucking?”

“That’s yet to be negotiated,” she mumbled.

“Fuck him and what he wants, he’s gross.”

“I’m sure you’ll be having his baby next year.”

“I’m sure as shit gonna try. I’m irresistible.”

By that time things were hilarious.

Cindy slurred yet again, “Don’t tell me I’m flying all the way home without getting any ass.”

“You don’t get plenty, already?” Liv whispered.

“You know how much pussy I’ve eaten? And you’re still the sweetest, love.”

“Is this the part where I say the same thing?”

“Shut up.”

They screamed in laughter. Cindy asked Liv what the hell happened, and Liv explained.

**FOUR**

“Should I get my own place?” Ignis asked courteously after a week of lounging with Olivia.

“Yep!” she announced. She was tired of rich fools living off her ass.

 

So, he bought a condo after ensuring that he’d be able to sell it for a tidy little profit. He tried to get her input, but she declared that everything was so much better than her own meager studio that she wasn’t much help. He furnished and decorated the place, again without her input, but he spent most of his time at his girlfriend’s home.

 

**Six months passed**. Ignis let himself in Olivia’s apartment and heard giggling and the buzz of something electronic. He went to her bedroom door and watched her lolling around, moaning while under the comforter. He crept in and snatched the phone from her hand. He looked at it. She was talking to Cindy. He looked at her and pulled the comforter off while she tried to hold onto an edge. She was naked from the waist down. He threw her phone on the floor and left the room while she chased him.

“We are even now,” he said.

“What?” she squawked.

“You cheated on me.”

“What? Are we together?”

He was pissed.

“How am I supposed to know?” she asked.

“Put on some fucking clothes,” he told her calmly.

“Fuck you!” she screamed at him.

“What did I tell you about fucking around on me?”

“Who the fuck are you to order me around? Go visit your other family in Japan. They miss you.”

“Olivia, shut up.”

“You shut up!” she screamed. “Get out! I never want to see you again.”

“What?”

She cried. “I wish I’d never met you. Every time I get home from work I think, is this is it?” She wiped the tears away.

“What are you talking about?”

“When are you gonna leave me?”

“Olivia…”

“You show up and disappear. It’s your MO.”

He grabbed her. He kissed the wetness of her tears and she clung to him as he squeezed her bare ass and took off her t-shirt. He placed her on the dining room table and kissed her all over as she helped him rip off his clothes. He rubbed the slick between her legs on his dick and he spit on his hand and rubbed it on his dick and he stuck it in, hard, and they rocked together and he came inside her. And then he said, “I love you.” He pulled out.

“How do you know?” she whispered.

“I knew from the moment I met you and discovered you were not pregnant.” And after she stopped laughing he helped her up and they cleaned up.

 

_“So, this is all my doing?” Cindy asked._

_“Shut up.”_

_Olivia continued the story._

**FIVE**

Aranea texted Ignis; he didn’t respond. She called and left a voicemail; nothing. And then, a week later, he called.

“Hello, Ignis.”

“Yes?” he asked, unprompted.

“Can I see you?”

After a moment he answered, “What does your husband say about that?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“I cannot.”

“And why not?”

“I am seeing someone.”

After a long silence she said stiffly, “I am happy that you have learned from your past mistakes.”

“Thank you,” he answered courteously.

“So why did you call me back?”

“I have a favor I need to ask.”

“I’ll do it if you’ll fuck me.”

“You shall have to ask permission.”

“Ugh. From your queer lover?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, God, really?”

“Yes.”

“So I’m supposed to beg a grown ass man—”

“You met her at the wedding.”

“That _black_ woman?”

“Yes.”

“I am going to do everything in my power to fuck her.”

“Yes, I heard previously. What if she is not interested?”

“Please. You owe me.”

He didn’t say anything. 

“What’s the favor?”

He told her.

 

Ignis told his girlfriend that he wanted her to meet an old friend of his. He dressed her in a romper while she complained that it was too trendy and he ignored her.

“Wait, who is this?” she asked.

“Aranea.”

“ _Que?_ ”

“She’s alone, her husband is working.”

“Is this a test?”

“No.”

“I don’t believe you.”

He kissed her and sent her off while she squawked about him not going.

 

Aranea waited for Olivia at the bar. She was right on time for their reservation. Aranea hugged her and she squeezed back.

“You look even better than the last time I saw you,” Olivia said. “You must have even more money now.”

“I make money while I sleep, dear,” Aranea said.

“Where is your gorgeous husband?”

“Who knows?” she answered airily as they were seated. Aranea ordered for her. They drank mint juleps in Olivia’s honor.

“So.”

“Yes, Aranea?”

“What don’t you like about dear Ignis?”

She looked around. “Right to it?”

“Always.”

“He lies.”

“Do you trust him?”

“No.”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want children?”

“Yes.”

“Do you miss Prompto?”

“I prefer Noctis.” They stared at each other. “He told you all this?”

“Luna told me. Did he tell you about Gladiolus?”

“No. What about him?”

She ignored the question. “Has he fucked Prompto or Noctis?”

“What? Ask him yourself.”

“I like you,” Aranea said.

“What is this, a test of class differences?”

She looked surprised. “He didn’t tell you? We went to school together. He was destitute. He used to iron his jeans.” And they laughed for about ten minutes, thinking of poor Ignis ironing his thrift store clothes.

“You dated a poor?” Olivia asked.

“Not until he had money, dear.”

“Priorities.”

“Who taught you to eat with your fork in your left hand?”

“What?”

“Americans have atrocious eating habits.”

“Aren’t you American?”

“I’m worldwide, dear.”

“Clearly.”

“Have you noticed…anything else?”

“He has weird food habits.”

She nodded. “Yes, yes, he was food insecure growing up.” Liv snickered and Aranea smiled and continued, “Prom’s…”

“Excellent in bed?”

“And enthusiastic.” They giggled at each other.

“Now.”

“Yes?”

“I would like to fuck you.”

“Ah—”

“Are you coming up to my hotel room?”

“Ignis said this wasn’t a test.”

“It’s not.”

“Then why am I here?”

“Because he’s paranoid and I was the first love of his life. Now. Are you interested?”

“Urgh,” Liv said.

“I don’t think that meets the level of consent.”

“Ah?” she said.

“It sounds like you need to make a phone call.”

Liv excused herself and ran to the restroom and she was a bit tipsy but heard Ignis say distinctly, “Yes.” To what she wasn’t sure but when she walked back to the table Aranea had already paid. Aranea took her hand and pulled her in and they kissed softly with just a bit of tongue and Liv vibrated. They broke apart and walked out together while other restaurant patrons stared.

“They probably think I’m a hooker.”

“I think you mean escort, dear.”

Scene fades to black!

 

_“That didn’t sound like too good of a time,” Cindy said. “Get to the marriage part. Who was your maid of honor? Some coworker?”_

_“Actually—”_

_“Fuck it, get back to the sex.”_

 

Liv went up to the penthouse and kicked off her shoes and twirled around the thick carpet. Aranea put on some Josh Groban and the ladies howled in laughter about nothing important as they took turns kissing each other and chasing each other around the suite.

Liv collapsed in an armchair and tilted her head up and splayed her limbs out. “Ravish me! Or is it ravage me?”

“Do you have a smart phone?”

“Duh!”

“Then google it yourself.” But Aranea stomped over still wearing her heels and she pulled her dress up and off and she was wearing…no underwear at all. Liv leaned forward and stuck her tongue out and put her mouth on Aranea’s shaved pussy and Aranea threw her hair back and then pulled Liv off her pussy by pulling on her hair.

“I want to fuck you,” she whispered.

“With what?”

Aranea skipped away and when she returned, she had a black dildo and harness dangling from her hand. She looked at her proudly. “Not too big, not too small.”

“Do you have any white dildos?” Liv laughed.

Aranea put on the contraption quickly and easily and suddenly things got…serious. Liv moved to the bed and opened her legs. Aranea kissed her again and pulled off Liv’s clothes while Liv struggled a bit, the dildo knocking into her legs. Liv was panting and Aranea licked her pussy and she squealed. At first Aranea licked sensually, and then she spat on her pussy and rubbed the wet everywhere and then she made Liv get on her knees and sucked on her pussy again from the back and then she whispered ready? And Liv moaned her name and she pushed in gently and fucked her doggystyle. She fucked Liv until she was shaking and then she pulled out and sucked on Liv’s pussy again and then they kissed sloppily while Aranea fucked her missionary position and she came everywhere.

Aranea pulled the dick out and then took it off. Liv reached for her and she shook her head, and her eyes were apathetic as she looked at Liv.

“You don’t want to finish?” Liv asked.

Aranea’s eyes filled with tears and she stiffened away from Liv, so she went to the bathroom to clean up and get dressed. When she got out Aranea was sitting on the bed, still naked.

“Can I make you a drink?” Liv asked.

“I’ve been dreaming of Ignis,” she answered instead. “I love my husband. But Ignis…” she looked at Liv. “When I called him, I was going to tell him that we could run away together. But.”

“But what?”

Aranea smirked at her. “You, stupid. These men. You train them up and then someone else reaps the rewards.”

Liv nodded.

Aranea said, “Well. It was nice fucking you.”

Liv drifted to her purse and shoes. “But you weren’t satisfied.”

Aranea said, “It hurts too much.”

Liv drifted to the door. “Bye, Aranea.”

Aranea watched her leave and didn’t reply.

 

_“I thought I was your only one,” Cindy fake cried. “Anyway. She still a rich white lady, nobody feels sorry for her. Did you see her husband at Prom’s wedding, I’m sure his cock is huge—"_

**SIX**

**sponsored by COLEMAN***

**COLEMAN, for all your camping needs. Need a way to dematerialize your entire campground? Look no further than Coleman. Haven is included****

Ignis and Olivia went on an overnight trip. They hiked and made camp and it was romantic and he made her some fancy ass shit that she’d never even heard of over a damn campfire with one iron skillet and one spatula. The man was magic. They cuddled each other all night long. They packed up to leave the next day. On the way to the car Ignis said he wanted to show her something.

“Come over here.” He guided her near the edge of a cliff.

She closed her eyes and waited to be murdered.

He tilted her head up and kissed her. “Not today, my love,” he said. And then he looked around and got on one knee. He pulled out a huge freaking diamond ring and they stared at each other and she held out her hand and he put it on. He stood up and they held hands and walked and didn’t say anything. And when they were all the way back to the car he said, “I knew you would react this way.”

“So, I passed Aranea’s test?” she asked calmly.

“I asked her to speak to you.”

“You wanted to know if I was worth marrying!” she shouted.

He looked shocked. “No. I did not know if you would say yes,” he admitted. He turned on the engine and started driving the car.

“You’re *redacted*,” she sobbed. “I’d do anything for you. I love you ten times more than you’ll ever love me.”

He sighed. “Keep going. I would like a list of your other complaints. For preparation.”

“What race will our children be?”

“They will be biracial.”

“Wrong. How many children will we have?”

After a while he said, “Five, but possibly four—”

“Wrong! What happened to your parents?”

“My mother died when I was twelve and Noctis’s father took me in.” Silence.

“Your father?”

“If a man ever claims to be my father and contacts you, do not speak to him,” he said sharply.

“Have you killed anyone?”

After a while he said, “Yes.”

“What happens when the Feds seize your money?”

“That will not happen. And if it does, there are contingencies in place—”

“I _shall not_ end up broke in a 1990s tracksuit tryna raise my children on welfare!” she shrieked.

“Why would you be wearing a thirty-year-old outfit?” he sounded genuinely puzzled.

“What about Noctis?”

“What about him?”

“What about Glad _iolus?_ ”

He sighed deeply. “Is it my turn yet?”

“For what? You already asked about my _abortions_ and _sexual partners_ , what else you got?”

“I do not want you to tell Cindy.”

“Why not?”

“Not until after we are married.”

“Why?”

“Why have you not told her we are together?”

“I was waiting for you to change your mind again. I mean, some women really think their pussy is that magical and all but I’m a realist.”

“How is that working for you?”

She waved her ringed hand in front of him as he navigated a dangerous curve. “Anyway, I can’t _not_ tell her, she’s been begging to visit for months.”

“When would you like to be married?”

“Do you need a green card?”

He ignored her.

“Anytime, Ignis.”

“What kind of wedding do you want?”

“Who cares? We can go to the courthouse. Next year?”

“Next month?”

“Ugh. Do you need a tax write off?”

He laughed.

“How do I know I’m not just your American wife? And that you don’t have other families all over the world?”

“You are the one I love the most.”

“Of course, you do, look at me!” Silence.

“What else, Olivia?”

“I don’t wanna stay home with the kids,” she confessed. “I’d drown them in the tub like that one woman.”

“Okay.”

“Will our kids be vaccinated?”

“Yes.”

“Do I have to breastfeed?”

“Only if you want to.”

“Are you mad I fucked all your friends?”

“No.”

“Will our marriage be open?”

“No.”

“Who’s gonna be at the wedding?”

“Who do you want?”

“No one,” she said.

“Wonderful.”

After a moment she said, “I’m telling you now, I’ll murder suicide us both if you fuck me over.”

“Who would raise the children?” he asked idly.

“Ugh. Shit.”

“How would you kill me?”

“Are we not in America? Am I not American?” she shouted.

“What does that mean?” he didn’t sound interested.

“I’d shoot you dead. My daddy taught me.”

“Hmm.”

“Ignis.”

“Yes?”

“Your turn.”

“For what?”

“How would you kill me?” she pinched him.

“I would…strangle you,” he purred and oh my God that was a turn on.

“I can’t get married until you fuck me, Ignis.”

He sighed heavily.

“So, is Noctis special?”

He didn’t answer her, and she decided that she was done trying to ruin her engagement.

 

_“Dude is totally obsessed with me,” Cindy bragged. “And there’s no way Gladio’s a queer. No way!”_

 

Olivia wore her new engagement ring to work.

“Finally got an upgrade, I see,” RC the Rude Coworker said uncharitably but Liv was so blissed out that she simply laughed.

“When’s the wedding?” RC snapped, looking Olivia up and down.

“Dunno!” she shouted happily and continued with her work.

 

A week later there was a family networking event with the different departments of her employer and she brought Ignis.

 “This…is your…fiancé?” RC gasped.

“Yep!” she answered and pulled him away before they could be introduced.

They sat down to the catered dinner.

After a lull in conversation RC informed Ignis from across the table, “I guess it’s really true that opposites attract.” The silence descended on the table and Liv stiffened.

“In what way do you mean?” Ignis asked courteously. The table remained quiet.

“Oh, y’know…” she gestured vaguely. “You’re…and she’s…”

“Yes?” he asked pleasantly.

The silence permeated while Liv wanted to laugh hysterically and throttle RC at the same time.

“You’re… not American,” she said in relief and sat back in her chair and someone finally started speaking. Liv squeezed Ignis’s thigh and he squeezed back.

 

_“What the hell was that bitch talking about? She just jelly. Lemme try on your wedding dress.”_

_“No.”_

_“You calling me fat?” Cindy said belligerently, tossing her hair to the side._

_“Shut up.”_

 

Ignis made a private appointment for Liv to try on wedding dresses. She was immediately overwhelmed by the thoughtfully curated selection and champagne and the perfectly coiffed and clothed owner who stared a little too hard and was a little too nice.

“Why is she doing that?” Liv whispered in complaint.

“She is trying to make a sale, baby girl.”

Liv flounced out in a few gowns and was near tears as Ignis smirked at her.

“Fuck you,” she hissed at him.

“Just one more…” he smiled his serial killer smile and GD she couldn’t get enough of this dude.

In the dressing room the owner pulled out a cream and crimson jumpsuit with elaborate embroidery on the bodice. Liv’s mouth dropped open and the woman shook her head.

“I was afraid you would hate it,” she confessed. “Most men have no idea what their fiancée wants, from the ring to the flowers, much less the dress.”

“Ignis picked this one?” she squealed. It fit like a glove although her ass was a little tight in it but Ignis requested it be tailored to the centimeter anyway.  

 

The future Mr. and Mrs. Ignis Scientia were to be married at two pm on a Thursday at the courthouse. He wore a black tuxedo that looked like money and had a bouquet for her composed of parrot tulips. She posed with a few offenders and their kids before they made it to their floor next to the passport office.

“Would you two like to say something?” the judge said nicely and they looked at each other, startled. They had been told that there wouldn’t be time for vows.

“I will go where you will, and I’ll do as I’m told, within reason,” she grinned at him and the bailiff chuckled.

“I love you more than I love myself.” He looked a bit panicked for a moment for some reason and she waited, because she wouldn’t be surprised if there was a poof! and everything disappeared. No one got to be happy for this long. But his face settled, and he looked at her, serious, and she thought _No, it won’t matter if I end up on America’s Most Wanted as the vic or the perp._

They signed the paperwork and were married.

 

_Cindy snored noisily and then woke up, startled. “Sorry. That was the most boring story I’ve ever heard.”_

_“Fuck you,” Liv said easily, and they waited for her husband to arrive because they had clearly both drank too much._

**SEVEN**

Ignis carried Cindy’s luggage in while Cindy picked up Liv bodily and they lurched down the hallway to the living room. Cindy curled into Liv on the couch and glared at Ignis.

“Do not mind me,” Ignis said and Cindy grunted at him. He sat down in the armchair after making himself a cocktail and refusing to share.

Cindy breathed in Liv’s neck for a moment, then trailed kisses until they were kissing. Cindy pulled off her own clothes and left them in a heap. She glanced at Ignis who looked at her with a slight smile. Liv pulled Cindy down on the couch and put her mouth on Cindy’s pussy. She tasted like oranges as Liv trailed her tongue along each groove. Cindy patted her hair and panted out something indecipherable and Ignis said he would get it. He returned with a vibrator and she laid out with her legs up in the air while Liv fucked her and ate her out. She squirted everywhere.

“I ruined your couch, Ignis,” she said smugly.

“I was planning on reupholstering it.”

“Fuck you.” She was still vibrating from her orgasm. “Sit on my face,” she told Liv.

“Nope.”

Liv got her in position, then herself in position, sitting her pussy right on the slickness.

“Don’t,” Cindy whimpered and when Liv stopped she bit her nipple and Liv continued.

She took her time but still came quickly and Ignis plucked her up.

“Go away,” Cindy told him irritably and instead he bent Liv over and fucked her on the couch while she moaned loudly.

 

_Olivia and Cindy spent a lot of money and traveled around and Cindy loudly wished she could find a Laker to bed and wed. She left a nice thank you note written in lipstick in the master bedroom bathroom. “Love u Liv. Thanks for the hospitality, Butler. --C”_

**EIGHT**

Olivia had thrown her birth control pills in the trash now that she was a Legitimate Woman. But after six months she still had her Moon Flow. Liv made the appointment from her office line. She complained to the gynecologist. She was given a clean bill of reproductive health.

That night before bed she watched her husband groom himself.

“What is wrong?”

“It’s not me,” she blurted out. “Sorry. I mean—Fuck.”

He didn’t say anything. And then he took her in his arms and was silent and she explained that she had went to the doctor to figure out why she wasn’t pregnant yet.

 

Liv took the day off and they dicked around before Iggy’s appointment. He dropped her off at a bar down the street and drove off. She waited and sipped her drink. She expected him to call but he returned within the hour. She watched him walk in. He shuffled in and blinked at her and sat next to her. She ordered him a drink and he drank it.

“It is not…impossible…but.”

“We can try—”

“No.”

They drank.

“Will you…” he hesitated. “Will you stay with me?”

After a moment she said, “The fact that you’d ask makes me happy it’s you, not me.” She cried and pulled out one of his handkerchiefs from her purse. He had bought her own set, but she preferred his. “It’s not like my parents will ever meet her.”

He looked at her. “Would your parents have liked me?”

“My mama, yeah. My dad? No.”

“Why?”

She laughed.

“That was a question.”

“Because you’re a dirty foreigner, dude.”

They stared at each other.

 

A month later Ignis had worked up every scrap of nerve and called his oldest friend Gladiolus after sending his wife off to work. He answered immediately.

“Hey, Iggy,” he said easily.

“Gladiolus.”

“You alright?”

“Yes. Well. Yes and no.” His mouth was paralyzed as Gladiolus waited. After a long while he continued, “I…am.” He was silent. “I cannot have kids.”

“Well shit. I didn’t know you were tryin’.” He sounded puzzled.

“I was married a while ago. I should have started with that,” Ignis tried to chuckle.

“Ohhhhhkay. Fuck. I mean—really? Congratulations,” he rushed out. “It ain’t been the same since you left. Regis brought in some fucking idiot—” he heard a woman’s voice.

“Is Cor around?” he asked.

“Yeah. Why?”

“That favor—” he was silent for a while.

“Oh. Wow. Okay—”

He had never heard Gladio sound so confused, and now it was twice in one conversation.

“I am sure you will need time to think about it—”

“Naw, I’ll do it.” Silence. “So…we turkey bastin’ it?”

“Whatever will work.”

“Okay. Send me a picture.”

“It’s Olivia.”

“You married _her?”_

“Yes.”

“What?”

“I love her.”

“Yeah, no, I mean, she’s alright with it?”

“I have not told her yet,” Ignis admitted.

“You mean you haven’t _asked_ her yet?”

“She will do it.”

Glad chuckled. “When?”

“As soon as possible.”

“O-kay. I gotta let Regis know.”

“What about Cor?”

“I’ll tell him.”

“You mean you will ask him?”

“Haha, Iggy. Okay. So we—”

“She will be ovulating in two weeks and I want to make sure it will take.”

“So…more than once?”

“Yes.”

“Shit. Are…you gonna tell the baby? Later?”

“Yes, most likely. But I have not told anyone about my marriage so…”

“I figured. Noct didn’t…” A beat. “Why not?”

“It is…” Ignis said.

“I wasn’t even invited to the wedding,” he sulked.

“We eloped.”

“Why?”

“Cindy—”

“This ain’t about Cindy. We both know who this is about.”

After a while he said, “He calls me. He just used to do it when he was drunk but now it is more often—”

“He’s drunk all the time,” Gladiolus interrupted.

“I would text him back, but he would call me, or facetime—”

“Okay, I’ll be your stud,” he interrupted again.

“Thank you,” Ignis said and his voice broke a little and they got off the phone.

 

Glad texted Iggy a few hours later. Ignis tried to buy the ticket for the flight but he said he could handle it.

 

She was half asleep when he told her they were going to have a visitor soon.

“Who?” she asked sleepily.

“Gladiolus.”

After a moment she said, “You fucked him too?”

“He will be here for a few days—”

“Why?”

He didn’t answer.

“Is he gonna tell Noct we’re married?”

“Of course not.”

“’Cause I know—”

“Yes, Olivia.”

“No, Ignis,” she mimicked.

“He will impregnate you—”

She was wide awake now. “He shall not!”

They were quiet for a while.

“It will be him or—”

“No.”

“Olivia—”

“Why can’t we pick some sperm up? One white British dude. We’ll make sure his teeth are decent—”

“No.”

“Why him? The truth, please. I know that’s difficult for you.”

“I love him.”

She tried to leave and he restrained her and she cried. “The baby will be huge!” she shrieked.

“Then we shall teach her tennis.”

She glowered at him. “Are you gonna fuck him while he’s here?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“That will be complicated—”

“Because you love him!” she screamed. “Jesus Christ Ignis you didn’t tell me about him! How am I supposed to compete? I’m your fucking beard!”

“No—”

She flopped around in anger for a while, just like a hysterical woman.

**NINE**

Olivia had been instructed to take time off work, which she did not do.

 

Gladio rang the doorbell and when Ignis answered they looked at each other for a while. Ignis was dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt. He gave Gladio a tour of the home. They ended up in Gladio’s guest room and he gestured to the table with a little chalkboard with the security code and wifi password and a little glass bowl with a set of keys. “In case you need the car,” he said helpfully. They made their way to the kitchen.

“So, you’re a housewife now?” Gladio asked.

“Yes. I do not understand what they complain about,” Ignis answered.

“You’ll think different when you got a little toddler running around.”

Ignis grinned at him and Glad couldn’t help the question.

“Why’d you marry her?”

“Because I love her.” He grinned again and Glad wanted to punch him and fuck him at the same time.

 

Olivia flounced home and twirled around prettily in some kind of a fancy dress and flirted with Gladio and ignored Ignis.

“Where’s my dinner?” she asked Ignis while staring at Glad. The sexual tension crackled but Olivia flitted away at every opportunity.

 

At bedtime Mr. and Mrs. Ignis Scientia ignored each other while in bed.

“Just fuck him already and then I’ll sleep with him,” she said. Ignis was furious and she ordered him to sleep on the couch and she kicked him and he ignored her. And then they had sex.

 

The next day when Gladio came back from his morning run the Scientias were gone. He took a shower and when he got out Ignis was sitting on his bed with a coffee mug. Gladio toweled off and sat on the bed beside him, leaving the towel loose around his waist. Ignis handed over the mug and he drank. Glad wanted to ask questions, but he didn’t want to hear answers. Ignis took the cup away from him and kissed him, gently. Glad cupped his huge hands around his face and they kissed feverishly and Ignis made the same sounds Glad had replayed so often in his memories. Glad pulled off the casual clothes that still shocked him to see Ignis wearing, his thin long-limbed form shaking under him. They hooked their legs together and kissed for a long time while Ignis jerked him off. Gladio purred in his ear and Ignis shuddered and told him to wait and scampered off, naked. Ignis returned in seconds and laid on his side in the bed and looked back at Glad with his glasses now off and his eyes heavy lidded. Glad fingered him while he humped against him and Ignis told him he couldn’t wait, the words difficult to get out, and Gladio pushed in and pumped a few times before Ignis was bucking against him in orgasm and Gladio came. Ignis kissed him and they cleaned up.

 

Gladio took up Olivia’s whole office. He set the lunch that Ignis had packed on her desk and without greeting said, “You’re starting to hurt my feelings.” He ignored her tight slacks and her bright button down and her stuck up attitude.

She rolled her eyes. “You know how weird he is.”

“Huh?” he grinned.

“I know about the…” she looked around. “The plot.”

“The plot?”

“After I give birth he steals the baby and runs off into the sunset with you.”

“Naw.”

“How do _you_ know?”

“’Cause he married you.”

“Oh, wow.” She rolled her eyes again.

“Well, did you tell him how you felt?” Why was he playing marriage counselor?

“Of course, I did.”

“What’d he say?”

“Whatcha think? He was dismissive of my feelings. _Per_ his _usual_ self.”

He shrugged. “You married him.”

They stared at each other.

“What happened between you two?”

“Jesus—”

“Do not take the good Lord’s name in vain.”

Gladio didn’t answer.

“He said he loved—loves you.”

“If it makes you feel better he loves Noct more than me.”

“Noct calls him all the time.”

“Of course, he does.”

“I know, right? Did Ignis tell you about our hail mary? Wait, do you know what that means?” she looked around. “I’m surrounded by foreigners! In my own country!”

“Yeah, Liv.”

“Olivia. Anyway, we thought we could keep Promtis apart—”

“What?”

“Keep up! Anyway. Tell me a secret. One that no one knows.”

Gladio hesitated.

“Don’t worry. This is trust,” she said.

“My sister…” he said. “She’s a junkie.”

“Everyone has a junkie in the family,” she scoffed.

“Well…and she’s obsessed with me.”

“Ooh,” she answered significantly. “Can I…see a picture of her?”

He frowned at her and then showed her a picture from his social media.

“Gross. She don’t even look like a real person,” she said. “You didn’t fuck her at least once? Or maybe you did, and that’s why she’s a junkie? That’s like in that one novel—”

“Game of Thrones?”

“There were books out before GoT, Jesus Christ!”

“Olivia. Iggy told me to tell you…”

“Liv. My lunch is over!” she said.

He said quickly, “He said to tell you that we fucked this morning so now you don’t have any excuse.”

After a moment she replied, “Who did the fucking?”

“What?”

“Don’t be dense.”

He didn’t say anything.

“Tell me what you did to him,” she whispered.

“I…”

“Yes?”

“I fucked him…”

“Yeah?”

“And he came pretty much immediately.”

“Oh my God.”

“Gimme a kiss.”

“Why?”

“Iggy said—”

“Good Lord,” she said, and she stood up and sat on his lap and kissed him. She opened her mouth and he sucked on her tongue and she vibrated in his lap. He picked her up as he stood up and she struggled a bit in his arms and then he stood her up and she scowled at him.

“See you tonight?” he said. She didn’t answer, and he left.

 

She texted her husband some abuse and he sent her a dick pic.

 

She ignored both men that evening and her husband followed her to the bedroom and watched her shower the day away. She was almost done when he spoke.

“Well, we have already had sex,” Ignis said in irritation. “He’s leaving tomorrow—”

“So?”

“I thought you wanted to do this.”

“No, you informed me that this was happening.”

He sighed heavily and then held open his arms with a robe. She stepped in the circle and he hugged her and said, “I love you,” and wrapped her up.

It was so easy. She leaned up for a kiss and he followed through. He swept her up in his arms as she ruffled his hair and then he threw her unceremoniously on the bed. He kneeled at the side of the bed and pulled her by a leg and then put his mouth on her pussy. He fingered her. When she came he got in the bed with her and spooned her.

“What?” she said.

He whispered in her ear, “Call him in here.”

“How big _is_ it?”

“Olivia.”

She sat up and screamed, “Glad!”

He materialized at the door. “Yeah?”

“Ignis wants us to fuck,” she said airily.

“Do you want to fuck?” he asked her.

“Yes,” she told him.

He drifted his big self over to the king-sized bed and sat on the edge.

“Kiss Ignis,” she ordered.

Ignis sat up and tilted his head up and Gladio kissed him as he ruffled his hair some more. “He lets you do that?” he smirked at Liv and she giggled. And then both men looked at her very seriously. She covered her boobs with the bedsheet and he laughed and kissed her and this time she sucked on his tongue. He leaned in, his bulk on top of her, and Ignis told him to take off his clothes and they watched him do so. He was half hard.

“God,” Liv said and Ignis kissed her and then Gladio kissed her. He sandwiched her against Iggy and he licked her tits and swirled a thick finger in her gushing pussy.

“We got started early?” he whispered, and she moaned affirmation. “Iggy?” he asked. Ignis looked up from kissing Liv’s neck and rubbing her breasts. Ignis leaned up for a kiss again and Glad kissed him before proceeding. He rubbed the head of his dick on her clit and then pushed into the wetness carefully. He looked at her and she looked back, blissed out, and she bucked up. He stuffed her. The rhythm he set was matched by Ignis who pulled her hair and whispered something to her as she leaned back into Ignis. She whimpered, and her legs shook, and her pussy clenched and Glad filled her up with his come. He groaned and pulled out after a moment. Ignis sat up and pulled off his shirt and licked the come off Glad’s dick and Liv opened her mouth and Ignis kissed her as he pulled off his jeans and fucked Olivia. It took only a few minutes before he came, filling her up again. Olivia lay there, limp and amazed, and immediately fell asleep.

 

They had a quiet dinner at home that night and Glad played Tekken with Liv. She blamed her losses on being too sleepy to focus. The next day Ignis made brunch and there was hardly any conversation.

“Can you take Gladiolus to the airport?”

“Why can’t you do it?”

He ignored her and she sighed heavily and got the keys.

“You are forgetting something,” Ignis called out and she waltzed back and gave him a loud kiss.

“C’mon, Gladio,” she said.

 

They didn’t talk on the drive.

“Can you stop at the airport marriot?” he asked.

“Gross,” she said and he laughed at her.

“One more time. Just in case.”

“But I’m already pregnant.”

“How do you know that?”

“Everything feels…weird.”

 He laughed again.

“How much time do you have?”

“Enough.”

“No.”

“Iggy said.”

“Do you do everything he says?”

“Hooo boy. Wow.”

“That’s different. Our marriage is _biblically based._ ”

He laughed for the entire time it took her to find parking. They walked casually upstairs after Gladio received his room key.

“Can I have a drink? Please.”

“What kind of liquor?”

“Vodka. That’s light enough, for the baby.” She sat on the bed.

He rustled through the minibar and handed her the drink. He sat at the desk chair, awkwardly.

“Who paid for this room?”

“What does that matter?”

“I have a theory.”

“Ignis booked it.”

“That *redacted* can’t book me a suite?”

He laughed out loud again. “This ain’t getting my dick hard, sweetie.”

“If you come around again, I’ll kill you,” she said.

He nodded. “Ignis said something like that, only nicer.”

“ _What?”_

He shrugged lazily.

She left the drink alone and stood up and pulled off her shirt and her bra. Then she pulled off her jean shorts. She glanced down at herself to make sure everything looked perfect.

“I’m surprised he lets you wear those,” he commented.

“What? This is my church outfit!”

“Can I do something?” he asked.

“Maybe.”

He backed her up against the wall and kneeled down and ate her out and when she was on the edge of coming he stopped and she whined. He picked her up and fucked her against the wall and he was gentle with his huge dick. An alarm from his phone started to ring.

“Look at me,” he said and she stopped sticking her tongue down his ear and did so.

“Wait—” she said and he came, surprised. “Shit—"

“Let me get on top!” she ordered and he supported her as he landed backwards on the bed and she planted her clit just right and made short order another orgasm. She kissed him and he gave her a weak one and she pinched his nipple. “Gimme a real kiss,” she ordered and he did. She pulled off and laid back on the bed and covered herself with a pillow.

“I have to go,” he said and pulled on his clothes.

“No.”

“You drove real slow in the right lane.”

“Dump your boyfriend,” she said.

“I’ll take the shuttle.”

“You won’t fit in the shuttle.”

“That’s mean.”

“I speak the truth.”

He picked up her purse and she grabbed her clothes. “Where’s the keys?” he grunted.

“A woman with a purse that size keeps her keys in her pockets,” she proclaimed and went to the bathroom to pee and get dressed. She listened for the room door as she rushed back in. “Whew,” she said.

He looked her up and down. “Are you playing games?”

“A grown woman does not play games. Unless it’s on, y’know, a cell phone or computer or console or something.”

The air between them became tense. “Do you know what I could do to you?” he said in a low voice.

She answered confidently, “You ain’t doin’ shit.”

“Why not?”

“What do you think Ignis will do if I don’t come home?”

Silence. “Why did he marry you?” he said meanly.

“I know!” she squealed and twirled. “It’s like…I don’t get it either.”

He grabbed her roughly and she threw her hair back and parted her lips and he bit her as he kissed her. “What the fuck are you doin’?”

“I want you,” she whispered, seriously. “Just…a week. Give us a week, and then you can go home to whoever that dude is.”

“Cor.”

“Who? I’ll spend my whole paycheck on another ticket, Glad. Please.” She sat down on the bed and waited.

“Did he ask you to do this?”

“Yes.”

“You’re lying.”

She shrugged.

He felt sick yet hopeful. He needed to get home, and get his shit and…do what? “He’ll be pissed,” he warned.

“No, he won’t. Glad. It’s not indentured servitude. If you want out, you leave.”

“Iggy—” he said desperately.

“I bet you two grand that he’ll be drunk when we get home,” she said casually.

 

On the way home Gladio told her that Cor had dumped him.

“Who?” she answered.

“Why are you doing this?”

“I need someone to fuck my husband while I’m fat.”

“Are you gonna be jealous?”

“Of what?”

“You’re crazy.”

“Don’t be pejorative. Pejorative means—”

He turned up the music in the car and ignored her smirking.

 

When they got in Ignis had an old fashioned cocktail in his hand. He sat up from the couch. “I made a curry—” he started and then he was silent.

“I can eat,” Gladio said.

Olivia asked, “The table or the TV?”

“Uh,” Gladio said.

“TV it is.”

They loaded up their plates while Ignis finished his drink and made another one. Gladio and Liv declined a cocktail. And they watched the news and ate their dinner.

She had Gladio tuck her in.

 

Ignis woke her up. She looked around blearily and whined loudly about how rude he was when he said that it was noon and he had become concerned. She told him whatever and he asked about Gladiolus and she said, say thank you and he huffed and puffed and said _gracias_ and she said _de nada_. And then he asked if they were going to the late session of church and she shouted out Jesus Christ, so he took that as a yes.

**TEN**

Gladio worked a lot but he was never gone for longer than a week.

 

Liv was home watching Maury and laughing, pregnant.

She looked up startled at Gladio. “Glad!” she shouted happily.

“I need to shower,” he said, standing very awkwardly in the doorway.

“Who cares? Come gimme a kiss.”

He walked over and kissed her and she sneaked her arms around him. “What’d you bring me?” she whispered. He magicked a little wooden toy from his pockets. “That’s for the _baby,_ not for me!” she whined. And he pulled out some fancy candy with foreign characters on it from another pocket. She squealed and kissed him again and then froze against him.

“What. Is. That?” she tried to reach for her phone, but he moved it just out of her reach. “Ugh!” she said.

“I don’t need you getting him all worked up.”

“ _All worked up?”_ she screeched and he closed his eyes. And when he opened them she was crying.

“You’re hormonal,” he said, surprised.

“Fuck you,” she hissed.

He pulled her on his lap while she squirmed around.

“It’s just a flesh wound,” he said.

“I don’t want you if you’re disfigured.”

“It doesn’t look sexy?”

“Why are you still working?” she whined. “Just live off of Ignis’s money.”

“It’s more complicated than that.”

“No, it’s not.” He rubbed her thighs. “You want me?” she said. “Don’t scramble my baby’s brains.”

They had sex and she took a nap with him. He woke up when he felt someone over him.

“Iggy,” he whispered and reached out for him but Ignis abruptly left the room. He eased his way out of bed and chased Ignis but he ignored him as he worked on building baby furniture.

 

Ignis made dinner and continued with the silent treatment so Gladio got up to leave and Liv held his wrist. “Don’t leave me alone with him!” she said.

“He never cared before,” Gladio complained.

“Yes. I have never worried about Gladiolus not coming home. I have never worried about him dying and not knowing where he is.”

After a brief silence Liv said, “I feel the same way about you.”

“I do not—” Ignis pompously started and then Liv rolled her eyes and Gladio laughed and he huffed but he shut the fuck up.

 

Liv told Glad, “Just tell him what’s what and he’ll shut up.”

“What?”

“Rough him up a little. He likes it.”

“I don’t like that.”

“Well. Maybe I should call Noctis?”

He glowered at her and she giggled.

“He texts him, still. He called me last week and asked if I’d heard from him,” he said and watched her face.

“You late,” she said idly and watched him.

 

Ignis drove home. When he got out the car Gladio came through the door to the garage. He shut it behind him.

Ignis attempted to brush past him but Gladio stopped him every time.

“What are you doing?” he asked peevishly. Gladio didn’t say anything. Ignis slowly reached out to touch him and Glad slapped his hand away, hard. Ignis felt confused and aroused.

Gladio placed a hand on Ignis’s shoulder and forced him to his knees. He kept a hand in his hair as Ignis got him hard while he rubbed his face in his crotch. Ignis got Glad’s sweats down and sucked that dick like he was on camera. Glad braced himself on the wall as Ignis ate his dick and then swallowed up his come.  

Glad pulled him up as he pulled up his sweats. He kissed Ignis. “Come on,” he said.

Ignis trotted behind him and Gladio pushed him down on the couch while Liv looked on with interest.

“Pull it out,” Glad ordered. Ignis pulled out his dick and stroked it for a while.

“Suck it,” Liv whispered, and Glad did. After he came he laid there, dazed. “Say it,” Liv said.

“I apologize,” he told Glad.

“And?” Liv said.

He grinned. “You may live off my money.”

“You can’t afford me,” Glad answered.

 

Olivia was burning up. She hollered at the two idiot men she had decided to procreate with and then slept in Glad’s room, alone. She gathered all the fans and she laid out on one sheet. She woke up in extreme pain and wetness. She croaked her husband’s name but the white noise drowned her out. She reached for her phone and somehow knocked it further away. Red nosed her. “Go get my phone, girl,” she whispered to her. Another cramp ripped her apart and Red trotted away, away from the phone. She tried to gather her strength to call out or cuss at her useless dog, but more pain racked her body.

“Liv?” It was Glad at the door with Red at three in the morning and she wept to see him there. He became alarmed.

“Is this…?”

She hauled herself up using the Collective Power of every Woman who has Suffered through ChildBirth and stood up and grabbed the headboard as her body forced her to _push._ She squatted down.

“Fuck!” Glad said and disappeared and then Ignis was there. And he was…not helpful. He had the phone to his ear.

“She said not to push, we have to get you to the hospital.”

She ignored him and grabbed Glad’s hands. “She’s coming,” she whispered.

Ignis addressed Gladio. “Throw her in the car!”

Gladio ignored him as he assisted Liv. They breathed together.

“I’ll call the ambulance—” Ignis ran around hysterically with his supplies and his helpful advice until Gladio told him to shut the fuck up. The ambulance came at the same time as the doula. After a quick inspection in which the doula fisted her real good, she proclaimed Liv ready and coached her through and Gladio held her hands the entire time and the baby practically slid out. Everyone hollered but baby screamed the loudest. Ignis cut the cord. The baby was a girl. They all wept.

**ELEVEN**

Cindy was fucking a sexy married 50-year-old when his wife caught them while she was supposed to be away on a day trip with a friend. He ran away like a bitch and Cindy battled and the wife fell over and hit her head. In complete panic she called Noctis, the criminal. He came right over with two dudes and they fixed the situation while Cindy cried.

“What’s that Leroy said?” Noctis said.

“Buck up, buttercup,” the criminal gentleman told Cindy, not unkindly.

“What’s gonna happen with him—”

“Who cares?” Noct said.

“Don’t tell Prom.”

“Of course not.”

She sagged against him. “Thank you for taking care of Emma. And Prom,” she added.

“I know.” He gave her a hug and had her wait in the car.

 

Days later she wasn’t sleeping when Noct and Prom came over at four in the morning with the baby.

“Time to go,” Prom said while carrying the child.

Cindy never needed much. She wrote her needed numbers down and left her cell behind. They hit the road. No one explained or asked anything. She asked to see her Paw Paw and Noct shut that down. Noctis mostly drove and Prompto snatched his phone away because he was going to kill them all with his distractedness.

They drove what seemed like forever in Noct’s new fancy car. She didn’t even recognize the make or model. She asked what happened to the Tesla and Prom scoffed that they were trying to escape, not trying to get stranded.

 

Cindy told Noct she was sorry, that this was all her fault. He told her firmly, that it wasn’t.

 

Noctis showed up early and drank slowly but he still had a good buzz by the time he saw Ignis carrying a…baby carrier. They stared at each other as he waited for the server to grab a high chair in which he set the carrier.

“Hello,” Noct told the baby and he grabbed her little foot. She reached for him.

“Can I?” he asked.

“Of course,” he answered.

Noct cradled her. “She’s gorgeous.”

“Thank you.”

“She’s black.”

“She’s biracial.”

“Speaking as a biracial person…you’re full of shit.”

“Indeed.”

“What’s her name?”

“Lillian.”

“That’s why you wouldn’t answer my calls.”

“No.”

He ignored that. “Well, Cindy sure as shit can keep a secret. You know, she thinks you’re a six.”

“What?”

“A six. Out of _ten_. When she visited Liv she came back and cried and said you were a six.” Ignis laughed raucously and Noctis laughed too and the baby kicked her legs. He continued, “Ignis, you’re perfect. You’re a perfect ten.”

“Thank you, Noctis.”

The server took their orders.

“You tell Liv you’re meeting me?”

“No.”

“Well then who’s gonna take care of the baby while we fuck?”

“What do you want?”

“Dad cut me off again.”

“What did you do?”

“I…well Cindy accidentally did something. And I was sloppy, and it got tied in with something else. And now I’m broke, just for a minute.”

“Who paid for your flight here?”

“We drove.”

“Who is we?”

“My husband and his baby mama. And Emma, of course.

“I can give you twenty-five. Do not worry about repayment,” he finally said.

He sagged in relief. “Prom’s working again.”

“I thought you hated that—”

“No, I mean in the producing side. He sent some dude five grand a few months ago and like doubled his money and he’s trying to do it again.”

“That sounds legitimate.”

“Yeah, it’s virtual reality porn. They’re making a shit ton of money.”

“Whatever works for you two.”

“Iggy, I shouldn’t need all of it. We’re getting an AirBnB—”

“I have a condo everyone can stay in.”

Noctis didn’t answer and after a while he said, looking at the baby, “You know, she doesn’t look like Liv or you.”

“Is that good or bad?”

“I don’t know, yet. Everyone got a baby but me,” he complained.

 

Everyone came over to Ignis’s house.

Prompto did a double take as he carried Lillian, Noctis scowled as he carried Emma, and Cindy threw herself on Gladio as Ignis glowered at her. “Where’s my friend? You killed her!” she shrieked at Ignis.

“She’s hiking,” Gladio said. The baby reached for Glad and Prom let her go.

“Now I _know_ y’all lying. She hates nature!”

“What are you doing here?” Noct demanded from Gladio. He shrugged. “Where’s Liv?” he asked Ignis.

“Hiking,” Ignis repeated.

Prom grabbed his arm. “What’s going on?” he complained.

“Yeah!” Cindy added.

 

Cindy squeezed into one of Liz’s bikinis and lounged by the pool.

Prom and Noct went to the grocery store and when they got back Liv was lounging as well.

Prom scurried over and loomed over them.

“Hi,” Liv told him.  

In lieu of greeting he demanded, “What’s Glad doing here?”

“Living.”

He scoffed. “Do you love him?”

“Yes.”

“Ugh,” Cindy said.

“I thought you didn’t believe in that,” Prom said.

She didn’t answer.

“That’s—”

“Give it a rest, Prom,” Cindy said.

“What’s the difference between us and them?”

“They are men, y’all are boys,” Cindy said.

Liv sipped her drink.

“Hello?” Prom said.

She waved her beringed hand languidly in his face and he scoffed and left them.

“He didn’t even ask about the baby,” Liv pouted.

**TWELVE**

Luna clicked off the social media pictures of Nyx and his new girlfriend. She scrolled through her list of people and sent Prom a message. He answered within the hour and they messaged back and forth quickly and then Luna made her travel plans. She was lonely and tired of her Rich Friends who were Too Busy to answer their phones.

 

Luna laughed at Noctis, who was broke, and was sympathetic towards Prom who made no mention of the wedding. She exchanged greetings with Cindy and bounced Emma on her knee.

“Would you like to get dinner?” Luna asked Cindy and she glanced at the guys and Prom said graciously that they had been planning on taking Emma to the beach while Noct glowered.

 

“What happened to you and Liv?” Cindy demanded. She had changed into a short gauzy dress and had on black underwear.

“What happened between you and Prompto?”

She rolled her eyes. “You right, babycakes. Just so you know, I’m here for the free meal. You’re not my type.”

“What’s your type?”

“Unavailable,” she pursed her lips.

“Yes. Well, I always told myself I wouldn’t date a single parent.”

“Ooo. Wow.” But Cindy couldn’t stop giggling, and neither could Luna, and neither one was drinking.

 

They walked along the beachside after their meal. They ate ice cream from a vendor and wandered away to a secluded area. They sat close to one another on the sand, Cindy leaning against Luna, for a while. They left their sticky melted cones in the sand and Cindy was surprised by Luna’s aggressiveness as she leaned in and kissed hungrily. Luna caressed the back of Cindy’s neck and kissed the back of her ear and Cindy panted as she enclosed her arms around Luna. They kissed as the sun set.

“Luna?” Cindy said, breaking away as another couple ambled by a few meters away. Luna stared at her hungrily. As soon as the couple disappeared Cindy got in Luna’s lap, the sand gritting between them, Cindy humping her ass against Luna while Luna’s thin fingers crept up her thighs. Luna helpfully opened Cindy’s legs for her and stuck her hand in her panties, licking off the wet from her fingers and sticking them back in, Cindy sucking on the wet fingers again and helping Luna stuff them back in her tight pussy. They rocked with each other, Cindy arching her back as she grinded on Luna’s lap and after a while she came suddenly.

“How’d you do that?” Cindy looked confused and then wept as Luna held her. After a few more minutes Cindy said she was cold, and they made their way slowly back. They kissed outside Luna’s car rental and Cindy said quite seriously that she wanted Luna and Luna said that she wanted her back. She didn’t come home to the condo that night.

**THIRTEEN**

Olivia was excited. They were at a fancy restaurant all dressed up in a corner area where the baby wouldn’t scream and disturb everyone and although Glad was acting shifty, she ignored it.

“I’m pregnant!” she announced.

“Wonderful!” Ignis literally clapped his hands.

“Already?” Glad said flatly.

Ignis glared at Gladio while Liv attempted to control her face. “I thought…I went off birth control again, we talked about this—”

“Oh—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—” Glad mumbled. He couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes. “I fucked ‘em,” he finally said, clearly, and glanced at the baby. The table was silent as the news was absorbed.

“Who?” she asked calmly. Glad didn’t answer. “Did you know?” she asked Ignis and he looked at her. “I thought I had to worry about Ignis!” she shouted at Glad and he didn’t say anything.

Ignis took the child and walked off. Liv and Glad sat there for a while.

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re gonna be.” And then she asked, “Is this your way out? You tired of us?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I don’t…”

“It was a love potion? Ha ha ha,” she said, but she was crying. She waved off the waiter although she was fucking starving and stood up. Glad sat there. “You coming?” she snapped at him and flounced out. Ignis was standing outside with the baby while she looked adorable. Olivia drove home.

 

After the baby was asleep Ignis told his wife he was taking a sedative.

“On top of all that weed?”

“I love you.” He kissed her. They didn’t talk about it.

 

Glad was in his room reading. “I’m going out for a bit. I won’t be long,” she told him.

“You want company?”

“Ignis took a benzo, can you listen for the baby?”

“Of course.” He sat up and reached for him and she slapped him, and he let her. And then he opened his mouth and she fled.

 

She took Glad’s SUV and made good time to her husband’s condo. She saw Noctis’s car in the assigned parking. A few people standing outside smoking watched as she ran Glad’s SUV into the parked one. Reverse. Crash. She had three good hits before Noctis flew out the condo, Prom behind him.

“Hey,” he hollered and then realized something. She left the car running in park and jumped out and chased him and he fled back inside while she screamed. Cindy and the toddler watched as Prom wrestled her off Noctis.

“Get offa me!” she screamed at Prom and then threw a game console controller that would have landed straight on Noct’s forehead if he hadn’t dodged it. “Stupid motherfucker!” she screamed and when she sucked in her breath to keep screaming Cindy interrupted her.

“Babe. You need to get out of here before somebody call the po po.”

“You and Luna have a good time?” she asked pleasantly, and Cindy smiled, surprised.

“Yeah,” Cindy said shyly, and they smiled at each other.

“I love you,” Liv said. “Sorry, Emma.”

“I love you too.”

She ignored Noct who stood in the hallway, ready to run again and ignored Prom as she flounced out the condo, back to her baby daddy’s SUV.

“Good evening,” she said cheerily to the smokers outside.

“Be safe,” one of them told her.

Prom followed her to the SUV. She waited for him to apologize before she got in.

He poked his lower lip out as he looked at her. “You fought for Glad more than me.”

She looked at him, eyebrows raised. “Stop living in the past, fool.”

“That was supposed to be my baby.” He was so ridiculous she could only laugh as she attempted to get in the SUV, but she stopped laughing when he pulled on her hand. “I mean it.”

“You’re so fucking stupid. I have a chance to keep Glad. You—you’d follow your husband right off a cliff. How’m I gonna compete with that?”

“And what about Ignis?”

“He’s more loyal than you’ll ever be.”

“You just caught him on a good day. I know him.”

“Not anymore, you don’t. Oh, and tell your husband to stop calling mine every day. It’s desperate.” The barb had the intended effect. He looked at her for a moment but then tried to kiss her and she turned her head. She got in the SUV and drove home. On the way she lost the front bumper.

 

Glad was waiting for her on the couch. She ignored him until after checking on her sleeping child. She flopped on him, using her elbows and knees, and it made him hard immediately. She sneered at him and pranced to bed where Ignis laid passed out and he followed her and got in the fucking bed like he didn’t do anything wrong and then he spooned her so she felt his hard on and he held her as she wept.

 

Ignis woke up in a foul mood. He growled at Liv when she poked him with the baby’s foot.

“Have you figured out his punishment yet?”

“No.”

“Are you gonna fuck Noctis?”

“No, Olivia.”

“Well, if you had, we wouldn’t be in this mess!”

He kissed the baby and shook his head at her.

“You are too much.”

She giggled, and he frowned at her. “What did you do?”

“Brunch time!” she squealed.

Ignis got up blearily with the baby and carried her downstairs. Glad was setting out brunch. Ignis didn’t speak to him but noticed the SUV outside.

“What happened?” he asked Glad before catching himself and turning to Liv.

“Gremlins,” she said confidently. Glad made plates and took the baby from Ignis so he could make the orange juice and coffee.

“Check your phone,” she said cheerily. Ignis looked at Glad and took the baby back.

 

Glad was depressed. He had discovered that he was no better than all the other asshole humans trolling the planet. He waited for the second explosion, waited for Ignis to cut his throat, literally or figuratively, waited for Liv to flounce around with _his_ baby and tell him off again. He had made one mistake for chrissakes, and—his phone was vibrating, and it was his sister _again,_ he couldn’t take it.

**THE END**

Noctis and Prompto and the baby moved to San Francisco and renewed their vows and had a gay old time. Noct’s father forgave him and they had money again.

Cindy lived with Noctis and Prompto until Luna decided to move to Toronto. They took their relationship to the next level.    

Gladiolus was brought back into the fold with Ignis and Olivia after extensive silence and not talking about what happened.

Liv was out shopping with her baby when a young woman approached. Liv looked at her sympathetically, assuming the woman’s Hannah Montana wig was an inexpensive way to hide her cancer treatment.

“She’s beautiful,” the woman said, reached for her child, and Liv shrank back and ran from her crazy eyes and grasping hands. She raced home, heart pounding. She fed her baby and they fell asleep together on the oversized couch, waiting for the men to come home.

Liv woke to a sound. The baby still on her chest she called out softly, _Daddy?_ And waited for an answer.

She received her answer.

The woman from earlier, now a brunette, stalked closer. “Give me,” she snarled and Liv tucked in her baby like a football and sat up and kicked away the woman who now looked somewhat familiar—“That’s my baby!” the woman screamed and gave chase. As the baby wailed Liv ran towards the front door and was almost there when she felt something hit her. She spun around and cushioned her own fall to avoid hurting her child. The woman had thrown a dining room chair at her.

“Dumb bitch,” the woman grunted and hauled Liv up by the hair. The woman tugged on the baby’s little foot as she tried to get her out of Liv’s arms.

“Please,” Liv sobbed but the woman was grim faced as she yanked, and Liv relinquished her hold, sobbing. _Ignis is gonna kill me,_ she thought, and then she thought of her dead parents.

The woman attempted to shush the child. “I’m your mommy now,” she told her and gave her a loud kiss on the cheek. Liv began to slowly pull herself towards the woman, nursing her throbbing hip and the woman tutted and pulled out a knife. “This is for you, not the baby,” she said softly. “Don’t worry. I’m not a monster. I just—”

“You’re Iris,” Liv blurted out.

She looked surprised. “Gladdy told you about me?” she looked pleased, then angry. Liv didn’t answer.

“She belongs to me,” Iris snarled. “If Gladdy hadn’t bragged to our _father_ then I wouldn’t have had to punish him—”

“I thought you said you’d take care of her,” Liv said desperately.

“I will. But I have to make him suffer, first.” She rocked the baby and awkwardly retrieved a phone, so she could take a selfie with the baby. The knife was beckoning from the floor and Liv was about to take a chance when she heard the key in the door. Liv and Iris looked at each other, frozen, the baby now silent as she waited for her daddys to rescue her.

“I thought—” Iris muttered to herself and then quickly pocketed her phone and tightened her hold around the baby, fisting the knife.

Liv sat up as much as she could. Glad was laughing about something and stopped when he saw Liv on the flor and Ignis said, “Iris,” very seriously and looked at his baby and Glad looked up, dumbfounded, and everyone was silent.

“Iris, baby,” Glad said softly. Iris began to cry, and she screamed at him and the baby was quiet. Glad walked closer and she held the knife up and he stopped.

“You thought you could keep her from me?” she screamed.

“She’s not mine,” Glad said. “It was a favor to Ignis.”

“Bullshit!”

“I signed all the paperwork and uh, the lawyers—”

“I don’t give a fuck!”

The silence extended.

“What do you want?” Ignis asked.

“Glad. And the baby. When _our_ baby is born I’ll send her back. I promise.”

“No,” Ignis said.

Liv cried silently and could not look away from the knife and her baby and the wild woman. She prayed like she never had before, not even while enduring the birth.

“I’ll leave with you if you give the baby to Olivia.”

“You promise?” she blubbered.

“I’d do anything for you.”

“I begged you—”

“I know, babe. I know.”

“You’re lying,” she said. She slid down the wall with the baby.

“I love you,” she told Glad and stuck the knife in her throat, spraying the child.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck Iris! What an idiot. 
> 
> *I’m tryna get sponsored, y’all  
> **Ain’t no haven anywhere : (
> 
> Thanks for reading!!!!!!!


End file.
